Date: 07/26/17 06:55 pm Title: Chapter 1
I also enjoyed the story. It is clear that you spent a lot of time completing it.
The plot line was almost too complicated, with odd twists and turns that make it difficult to follow. As an example, Ty seems to have some idea of how to separate Polly and the King, but then the appearance of the plant at the end comes as a surprise to him. What was his other plan?
I also did not understand why the King's mind takes over at certain times, but not every time Polly had sex.
It is also tricky handling the he/she usage. Ty assumes a woman's body and then becomes "she." At times I lost track of which character you were writing about.
One more critique on style. The dialogue should vary more from character to character. Thus, the guides at the Duke's castle sound educated and speak the same way as the royalty. Wouldn't there be a roughness to their speech. Finally, you overused the "Gods" exclamation. Every character seemed to sue the same expression.
Date: 07/25/17 03:55 pm Title: Chapter 3
This story was engaging from start to finish. I'm glad to see new posts from you on this site as I love your work. I have to say that the ending left me feeling kind of bittersweet. Everything turned out happy in the end, but I still wanted Pollyanna and Tyler to be together as they were. Such is the nature of getting attached to characters though.
I love your work and I loved this story.
Always a fan,