Date: 06/18/18 12:34 am Title: "Prologue"
That was a great story, although I wish Mac and Luke could have wound up together. Too much invested in their relationship to have it ruined like that.
But please keep writing. You are very talented.
Author's Response: Thank you! I don't know if I'll ever revisit these characters. Folks have said, rightly, that there's a lot of story to resolve between the last chapter and the 'Epilogue' - that that ending was too easy without more. I agree. And if I ever do revisit this, I think I owe it to folks to explore whether or not Mac can get beyond what she did to herself regarding Luke. Anyway - thanks again for the comment.
Date: 12/25/17 06:23 pm Title: Chapter 36 Epilogue
The devil is always in the detail, isn't it? Could Mac even in her desperation have phrased it differently? I doubt it. The price was high, though.
Interesting how you wound it up, PJ. It is, after all a happy end of sorts. I can see the difficulties, but well done.
Date: 12/24/17 08:02 pm Title: Chapter 32 "Drowning - Part Three"
Mac has to stay this way! I love this story so much right now, but if mac doesn't have a happy ending with luke, I don't think your email provider will like the amount of bandwidth you'll be receiving! :D But in all seriousness, so far this is an amazing story, and i really can't wait to see how you will wrap it up.
Author's Response: well, now you know.
Date: 11/29/17 10:18 pm Title: Chapter 31 "Drowning - Part Two"
Jealousies among the council? Bloody hell, nobody so immature should be allowed any power. They should all be stripped of it until they can deal with each other like adults.
Date: 11/13/17 05:47 pm Title: Chapter 30 "Drowning - Part One"
That's bad, is it? A picture in the newspaper? I can't remeember reading that to be in the rules somewhere. I hope it makes things permanent. *giggles*
Author's Response: Well, let's stop and think about this for a moment. An article in a newspaper about two heroic teenage lifeguards who risked their lives to save a little girl from a potential shark attack. An article that identifies one of them by a one-of-a-kind name like "MacKinzie Coyle" and includes a picture of a still somewhat shaky-looking young *woman* wearing a frown and a tankini that leaves no doubt whatsoever about her feminine gender. An article that could easily be picked up and published by one or more Boston newspapers. Could that be bad? Could it be bad enough that the Council might summarily command said young 'woman' immediately disappear and thus prevent some really awkward questions from folks who remember a very different "MacKinzie Coyle"? --evil grin--
Date: 11/03/17 08:36 pm Title: Chapter 29 "Interlude"
Nice to see an update and a very good chapter.
Take your time, no need to rush it.
Aslong as you dont give up on the story im a very happy reader.
The uncertainty is part of what makes this story shine.
Have to admit i definitly hope for a happy ending but regardless of how it eventually turns out I got faith in your writing skills and hope you dont make it easy either way.
Date: 11/03/17 03:18 pm Title: Chapter 29 "Interlude"
Well, At lest I have not forgotten the hintes dropped,that aunt Meg and Mac's mum could and quite possibly would help Mac to stay a girl. I have not re-read everyhing to make sure, but I think my memory is still woking fine. So, yeah, I have every hope for a happy end. Nice story.
Author's Response: "Hints"? "Hints"? Golly, have I been dropping hints? >:)
Date: 10/20/17 04:32 pm Title: Chapter 27 "Hot Date, Part Three"
Said there was an update but I'm not seeing one :o
Author's Response: The problem is that what I added was something that went BEFORE the first chapter, NOT at the end of the story where chapter additions usually wind up. Sorry about the confusion. This is what I get for being in too much of a hurry to post what I had before I had the beginning written.
Date: 10/14/17 08:50 pm Title: Chapter 27 "Hot Date, Part Three"
I cannot remember any review for a story of yours, PJ, that ever said that. But I hve to say, that Mystic is particularly sweet example of a mix of funny, cute, sexy and romantic. I just loved this whole sequnce. Forget that, I love the whole story!
Date: 09/27/17 07:05 pm Title: Chapter 25 "Hot Date, Part One"
That certainly is the best chapter yet, PJ!
Date: 08/06/17 04:25 am Title: Chapter 19 "Expedition"
Love this. I saw that you were wondering if you should just finish it off, or go with one of the sub plots... I think you should do a sub plot, and perhaps consider finding a way to make this permanent? nudge-nudge :D
Date: 07/31/17 07:58 pm Title: Chapter 19 "Expedition"
I must say, Mac is turning out rather cute!
In fact, all your characters are nicely believable.
Keep it coming, PJ.
Date: 07/29/17 06:42 am Title: Chapter 1 "First Impressions"
This story is great! I love the relationship that you've constructed between Mac and her mother, and I can't wait to see what happens on that front. Also, all of your character names are super cute!
The only part of this story that confuses me is the nitty-gritty detail of Mac's ability, especially concerning the scene with Mac and the Boo. Maybe I'm just slow, but wouldn't Boo stop believing that Mac bought her lie as soon as she left the room and began thinking about other topics?Based on Mac's phrasing and reaction, it seemed like Mac's orders will continue to effect Boo into the future. Wouldn't this mean that Mac would continue to experience the inverse of her order to Boo, and thus buy into the idea that Luke is a bad person? Perhaps I'm misunderstanding the details of Mac's ability, but that struck me as a bit of a plothole.
Author's Response: "... it seemed like Mac's order will continue to effect Boo into the future." Correct. Mac can make his power last beyond 'just thinking about it.' Boo will continue to believe she's fooled Mac until Mac tells her otherwise. And yes, because the effect is continuing, Mac will believe the opposite for the same duration - he will continue to believe that Boo is a bad person and that she didn't fool him. But since that's what he already believed and since there's no 'opposite of the opposite' with respect to his power's operation, in this specific circumstance his power didn't work to produce anything he didn't already think. And please note; the command was *not* directed to *the substance of Boo's lie* - whether or not *Luke* was a bad person - it was directed to *whether or not *Boo* had fooled him (Mac.)* Subtle distinction. So I completely understand your question and why you'd ask it.
Date: 07/24/17 06:16 am Title: Chapter 1 "First Impressions"
Hmmmm I kinda like it. But not how magic is done. It's so different from how I look at magic x.x only can do one thing....... but it is very interesting story and ima keep reading it. But the basics of magic could been done differently
Date: 07/22/17 09:27 pm Title: Chapter 17 First Impressions, Part Two
As always, I love pretty much anything you write, PJ. The occasional images you add are always something I look forward to as well. Any chance of more popping up soon?
Author's Response: Yup. Another image to lead off the next chapter. Maybe two. :)
Date: 06/26/17 03:08 am Title: Chapter 1 "First Impressions"
Looking very promising...
I really like that you have made magic very simple and concise. Too often these stories involve great and undefined powers used by important characters, which tends to divert the attention of the reader and break suspension of desbelief. But it is handled very well here.
The only thing that alarms me a litttle is the three month deadline, not because of the story implications, but rather because only a few days have passed in-story, and the story is already quite long. Do you have some sort of progression or timeline in mind?
As for the introduction, I think a simple one, introducing the kid and his relation with his parents and aunt, and how he feels about his father's death and staying with her, should suffice.
Author's Response: Thank you for such supportive, constructive input! This is what 'free to read' authors live for. (Or at least this 'free to read' author does!) As to a progress or timeline - as I might have mentioned elsewhere, I already have the ending written. Thus I know 'where I am' and I know 'where I'm trying to get to'. The struggle for me now is figuring out which road I'm going to take to get there. I don't know if this will be a short story or a novella. At this point, probably a novella. We'll see. Anyway, thank you again for such a great review!
Date: 06/25/17 08:00 pm Title: Chapter 12 "Hot Wheels"
I congratulate you on the images; For a moment I thought they were real people, what program do you use?
It is curious, that in these stories, some character says: magic does not work like on television. And then he says, an explanation, that seems extracted, of a series of television (charmed).
I came to think that the story would deal with a girl, who uses her new identity, to take revenge on her ex-friends. In an RPG ONLINE game. And up to that point I thought it was good (and unique).
I hope more to come.
Author's Response: The images are DAZ's Victoria 4, composited and rendered in Carrara 8.5 The greatest compliment you could have paid me was to say that for a moment you thought they might have been actual photos. **Thank you!!** I can't speak to similarities between my magic and that of Charmed. I never watched the show. My inspiration is Brandon Sanderson' *BRILLIANT* "Mistborne Trilogy" - at least in so far as the magic I write about is very structured, circumscribed and predictable.
Date: 06/24/17 03:46 am Title: Chapter 11 "Tea and Sympathy"
Getting more and more curious by the minute as to how it could become permenant... Anyways, awesome chapter!
Author's Response: Who said the change was going to be permanent? I never said it was. ... But I guess I never actually said it wasn't either. Hmm... --evil grin--
Date: 06/19/17 07:11 pm Title: Chapter 9 "... and Opportunity"
I am glad you made me keep reading, PJ. Lovely story.
Date: 06/18/17 03:27 am Title: Chapter 7 "The Voyeur"
ooooo another cliff hanger, kinda getting on my nerves. however keep up the good work its a good story it is no longer the summary u have given in the bigining i think you should change it
Author's Response: Yeah, I gotta resist the urge for cliff-hangers. Or, if I use them more than just once or twice, I have to make sure the resolution happens immediately and that that text is up and posted too. Readers will only 'work' so hard for a story. If a writer asks for too much effort, he loses them.
Date: 06/17/17 04:02 pm Title: Chapter 1 "First Impressions"
Just as well your answer didn't have to be like that of that waiter ... I sincerely wonder, though, how many of the younger non British readers get those jokes at all.
Here, though, is a special treat for you, that the German Television of my Birthplace Hamburg recorded in 1963. It has been broadcast every year at new years eve since and has become a truly "German" institution.
Author's Response: wtf?! That was just bizarre!
Date: 06/17/17 02:56 pm Title: Chapter 7 "The Voyeur"
It amazes me, PJ, how comfortably the Python reference sits in this otherwise so USAmerican setting. Nicely done. (giggle) bit the it probably all is in a days work of ...
Author's Response: -chuckle- I'm trying to find a way to insert, "Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!". I'm currently working on the next chapter wherein Mac and Meg are figuring out the details of Mac's power. They start out by experimenting with creating or blocking a desire for tomatoes. (They happened to be handy and neither Mac nor Meg start out with a fondness for tomatoes.) I had to struggle not to populate one cupboard with a dozen cans of Spam.
Date: 06/17/17 02:43 pm Title: Chapter 7 "The Voyeur"
I hope he finds a way to make the change permanent! I'm loving this story!
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad you're liking it! As to the change being permanent ... --shrug-- Aunt Meg says it's "One season, your summer as a girl." Aunt Meg has been pretty straightforward so far.
Date: 06/15/17 09:15 pm Title: Chapter 6 "The Life and Death of Fashion"
I love playing on words and meaning, so "lingering uncertainty" in respect to Maidenform is certainly a higlight. Nice story so far.
Date: 06/12/17 09:12 pm Title: Chapter 5 "The Power"
Wow! I'm loving this! Can't wait for the next chapter! It would be nice if in the future somehow Mac permenamtely stays as he is... And perhaps he has some hidden abilities that nobody knew about... Can't wait to see where this goes!
Date: 06/08/17 08:34 pm Title: Chapter 3 "Games People Play"
I am normally a fan of your writing, PJ, but gaming never caught my fancy and after the second chapter I understand better why not. I hope the rest of what is to come skirts around that boring topic. No stars yet, I don't know how many. The first chapter is great, the second ... I have already explained that. What is next?
Author's Response: No more gaming, I promise. That chapter was mostly intended to start to define Mac's problematic character flaws - ie; he's self-centered, short tempered and not above deriving pleasure from getting revenge on those he thinks have harmed him. Though I didn't do a good job of making it clear, while he has the ability to plot strategies, he also has a tendency to jump first then look what's below him. I guess I need to make that point, so that would be one 'what's next'. But mostly, 'what comes next' is Mac's development over the next three months as he comes to grips with his power - because he's now a 'female of the blood line' and so he now has power too - and the consequences of how that power develops and is used. But no more gaming. I promise.
Date: 06/08/17 05:55 pm Title: Chapter 3 "Games People Play"
How could I give a PJ Wright story any fewer than 5 stars? In any case the lively writing and Sarah's 'innocent' scamming in the on-line game make it worth all five.
Author's Response: "How could I give a PJ Wright story any fewer than 5 stars?" Easy, you just click on one of the other choices for number of stars. :P. But seriously, **thank you so much** for the praise and especially for what you found praise worthy.