Date: 06/26/17 11:13 pm Title: Chapter 5: 4:15-8:00
Adorable, heartfelt story. I really loved this. Your characterization skills are excellent. Carter and Victoria felt like real kids you might know in real life, and that's not often the case with these stories. Even more, I love how their sibling relationship took the center stage and not so much the magic or the TG. Often, these stories are just excuses to engage in masturbatory wish fulfillment, with the characters being just weak stand ins for the author. Not here. Kudos, and I'm looking forward to reading through your other stories.
Author's Response: Thanks! Although you'll probably find there's quite a bit of variation between the stories I write. A lot of experimentation means a lot of different results. I would like to start focusing on longer stories like this more often, though, where characterization is the main focus over the TG elements.
Date: 06/26/17 03:21 am Title: Chapter 1: 8:00 - 9:20
I think this needs an epilogue badly.
While they made up, and he got to act like a big brother, which was really nice, we never got to see if he really goes back. More importantly, we never got to see the consequences of using such incomprehensive power without consideration - no action without consequences. And she still has that power. What if the book, instead of being a grimoire of power, was actually an artifact to make people closer, and then stops working? Its an idea. I think this needs some closure.
Date: 06/25/17 06:08 am Title: Chapter 1: 8:00 - 9:20
Good story. It was a bit painful to read the angry parts, but the ending was so good that I want a sequel/continuation of the story. Will this become a regular part of their relationship? Are tuesday nights sister's night?
Date: 06/24/17 07:32 pm Title: Chapter 5: 4:15-8:00
Awwwwe that's so cuuuteee! They made up and became better siblings for it! I'm so glad she didn't mess with anything permanent, that could have been dangerous. Though I admit I feel unsatisfied with the ending, I want to know more how Victoria came about the spell book and I kinda want to know what it looks like from her perspective, like he cant read it at all but she sees it perfectly it seems. I wonder how that happened? Can he read it now that he's the same age and essentially body as her? He never tried so probably not who knows :D Still a good ending either way though, thank you for the story :D
Author's Response: Well, I always saw the book as more of a plot device than a part of the story, really. And since Victoria was always so uncomfortable talking about it there wasn't too much I could do to incorporate it into the story though. It does seem to kind of disappear in the last chapter, unfortunately. I wish I had thought of a way to better incorporate it into the ending, at least.
Date: 06/24/17 01:31 pm Title: Chapter 5: 4:15-8:00
his is such a sweet story. I hated Carter being such a jerk, but it paid off in the end. Making him become her twin really was a good plot point. It was nice reading a story where the teen guy felt wrong as well about being turned. Still, if it were me I would have tried for some lingerie transforms of my clothes.
Date: 06/24/17 01:46 am Title: Chapter 5: 4:15-8:00
Good chapter. I like how it went, but a tiny bit disappointed how the story ended. One question though: Did the MC stay changed?
Author's Response: I don't see why he would,if the spell is only supposed to last for twenty-four hours. It'd wear off eventually.
Date: 06/02/17 03:40 am Title: Chapter 4: 2:45-3:45
Oh this is going all kinds of bad. Victoria... think long and hard about what you are doing. You could destroy someone's life like this. She's mad, and he's mad and it's just a huge recipe for disaster. We'll have to see what happens next :D
Date: 05/22/17 12:25 am Title: Chapter 2: 9:20-12:00
I am really enjoying the complex emotional interplay between Carter and his sister. It might seem strange, but that awkwardness between them both is where the story is.
Quite enjoyable even at this early stage, and happy to see where it goes!
Date: 05/21/17 09:25 am Title: Chapter 1: 8:00 - 9:20
I really like this. It is inspiring to me to continue. I would very much like to know your motivation to write this sometime.
Author's Response: Wow! I'm amazed to hear that sometime I wrote could be inspiring someone. I'm not entirely sure what I'd say my motivation was, but it always felt contrived to me when characters would just go along with people forcing them to do things they don't want to. It's usually just a way to get the plot going, I know, but it always rubs me the wrong way that nobody ever sticks up for themselves. I wanted a story where the power dynamic was a bit more in flux.
Date: 05/20/17 08:01 am Title: Chapter 1: 8:00 - 9:20
Like the other reviewers are saying, the fact that he is resisting feels very realistic, given the situation, i feel it is relatable.And while her sister is obviously doing something bad, well, it seems her inner motives are pure regardless, so I really hope things work out for them. No need to rush it, just develop their relationship bit by bit.
The 'hiding the book' plot also looks intriging. Perhaps she wants him to hold it? Maybe they can share it in the future, might be what she really wants.
Date: 05/19/17 09:42 pm Title: Chapter 2: 9:20-12:00
I like this, he will not back down, I've never seen a story like this before. It seems like his sister might be having a little remorse, let's see if she makes it worse or grows up a bit and stops picking on her brother with magick.
Date: 05/19/17 09:41 pm Title: Chapter 1: 8:00 - 9:20
I like that he is fighting back. Not just accepting it, which is refreshing. But I also feel bad for the sister. She just wanted an older sibling to spend time with. Hopefully they work things out.
Author's Response: I was worried that Victoria might come across as unsympathetic, so I'm glad to hear that people aren't siding completely against her. Hopefully Carter doesn't come across as too much of a bad guy either. We do, at least, get to see a bit more insight into his thoughts about this in the next chapter.