Date: 07/26/17 08:48 pm Title: Chapter 3
that second part confused me, wonder where it will go, and what was going on there. Did reality shift again? I hope not.
Author's Response: Hmmm...maybe that wasn't clear enough...I'll rewrite to clarify eventually. But for now, that last third, written in the present tense, was a dream or a flashback of Elizabeth/Ian's former life. Those last two sentences were her waking up. If that was unclear...I'll fix it later, for now I've added an extra four words. Hope that's what you meant.
Date: 04/25/17 08:26 am Title: Chapter 1
I kind of have a problem with how little we learn about the character or the world before the shift happens. I can understand not learning everything about the character's new life immediately, because even the character doesn't know any details yet, but right now we don't really know anything about who the character used to be, so when we do get new details we don't have anything to compare them against. Maybe you can set up flashbacks in later chapters or something? Just so we know what the main character has lost?
Otherwise, I think this is a pretty interesting premise, and a pretty good setup for a story where the protagonist has to try to fit into a life he doesn't remember and avoid arousing suspicion from people who want them dead for unknown reasons. There are a good couple of directions you could take this. I'd definitely be interested to see it continued.
Author's Response: Flashbacks are my intention, mainly because it allows me to cherry pick bits and pieces from Ian's life in order to present specific parts that are relevant to the story whilst also giving a much broader sense of his how his original life went. Though laziness does factor in somewhere.