Date: 02/26/19 08:55 am Title: Prologue: The Complexity of Us
I have the opposite opinion of Shandy. I thought the beginning and middle were great but the end was quite lackluster and left a loose end or two. It felt rushed. It leaves me wavering between 3 stars and 4. Tell ya what, I'll give it a 4 in hopes that you'll do that alternative ending we talked about.
Date: 12/02/18 06:16 pm Title: Prologue: The Complexity of Us
That was a very good story, though it had a weak start with the first two or three chapters having too much raw exposition, and it needs editing (mainly for random capitalization of various words for no apparent reason). The character arcs were strong and the ending was powerful. Thank you.
If you'd like me to edit it, let me know.
Date: 11/12/18 08:15 pm Title: Chapter 19: The Two Week Coin Toss
Very nice story. I like what you did with character development and how you took us deep inside their head. As I write time after time these stories (in my native language, mostly), I kind of feel you're doing the same as I always do - projections of myseld here and there, and I liked it in the story. :)
Date: 10/28/18 05:23 pm Title: Prologue: The Complexity of Us
This one was definitly very hard to put down, some things my girly mind would wish had happend that didnt. And kinda wish there was a few more chapters at the end.
But all the interactions felt very realistic to me.
I cried for the one who had to transition afterwards, i cant imagine having it all only to get it ripped away again:(
Bittersweet and very fitting ending.
Date: 10/25/18 09:54 pm Title: Prologue: The Complexity of Us
I'm so sad it's over! I just wanted more! I loved the characters! I do felt the ending was a bit rushed though. A few unanswered questions lingered, but I'm currently in a re-read so I still enjoyed it!!
I made an e-reader cover for this if anyone wants it!
Date: 10/16/18 05:00 am Title: Prologue: The Complexity of Us
I did not find jins character arc believable. You set them up in the counseling very realisticly but having Ella fix it by fling really suspended my disbelief. It just felt wrong and gross. Him and Cheryl just left a bad taste in my mouth. Amazing writing up until then though. I just really hated the ending.
Date: 10/15/18 04:45 am Title: Prologue: The Complexity of Us
I just finished rereading the whole story again from start to finish. I swear there were parts I never read before.
I'm glad I did. It made more sense reading it again.
I really love this particular story, it's up there in my top 5. I do not rate 1 to 5, so you are one of them. It's hard to pick a favorite when you love so many and they're all so different.
Again, thank you for finishing.
Date: 10/10/18 08:03 am Title: Chapter 19: The Two Week Coin Toss
Huh. Well it was certainly very good, the whole way through. A bit of a long winded and lamenting outro there - a quarter of the text and ending with the last line might have made it more impactful. What really hit me was your final note - the Truman show reference, a rather fitting farewell. Good luck and well wishes to you and your future, and a thank you for sharing this story with us; it was a good journey.
Author's Response: I suppose I can be a bit verbose at times, something I'll need to work on in the future. I'm glad you enjoyed it despite that, thank you for the kind words.
Date: 10/10/18 07:42 am Title: Chapter 19: The Two Week Coin Toss
Poor Cheryl, but hey nothing you can do. I'm glad she got to transition and has the support of her friends. ANd OMG Jin saying "I'll tell you when they are old enough to tell me their gender" utterly blew me away. That's so beautiful! Thank you for this story! I'm glad Anna got to be with a loving mother and something I"m confused on. Are Anna and Diane a couple? If not I thought they were, but it doesn't matter.
Thank you so much for this story and for ending it. I was afraid you were gone, I'm glad you're okay or at Least I hope you are. Anyway peace and wonderful days to you as well Bananapoodle, you're a rare gem around here and I hope we can see more stories from you someday.
Author's Response: Thanks for the kind words! Anna and Diane are not a couple, just very old friends who work together in the clinic. Diane is actually married after the timeskip (she mentions her Husband is currently on business away in Phoenix). I'm never gone, just sometimes there isn't time to write. I hope at some point in the future when I'm not working 2 jobs to continue posting stories. In the meantime, I'm trying to do a section in the halloween mixtape, although thus far Trismegistus Shandy is yet to respond to my queries on the subject. Hoping that works out alright.
Date: 05/28/18 04:36 am Title: Prologue: The Complexity of Us
Oh my god! So good! I love this clinic idea! Kinda feels like the red band society! Great characters! Deep story with lots of good thought behind the writing. Parts are a bit too gender stereotype, but it's easy enough to ignore for the fun of the story. Not looking forward to ending it, but the possibilities of other clinics are endless!! I definitely will be making a nice cover for my kindle for this story!
Date: 05/27/18 07:47 pm Title: Chapter 18: Sweet things
“Excallant! Head to the kitchen after dinner, I’ll let them know you’re on the way, on one condition.”
You might want to change Excallant to Excellent but other than that. This was a nice chapter. I'm fearing for the next one but I know it has to be done for the sake of immersion and for the story. I love the authenticity you're doing for this but I'm also afraid because fate might not be kind to those poor kids. I hope... I hope things turn out okay.
Author's Response: Whoopsie! My proofreader must've missed that, thanks for the heads up!
Date: 05/21/18 02:53 am Title: Prologue: The Complexity of Us
I can't wait to see the outcome! The boys seem to want to change back but, the girls, even if they won't admit it, don't. The girls want to stay. Even Blake.
Author's Response: It's a bit of a spectrum, I think. Cheryl is so engulfed in the change that her big dilemma is if she DOES change back, Diane has accepted it mentally, but would suffer no issues if she changes back, Blake has no preference, Ellen would prefer to change back, but doesn't mind if she doesn't, Cole is the same as Ellen, and Jin hopes he does change back.
Date: 04/30/18 06:52 am Title: Chapter 16: The Blushing Bride
I hope Jin turns back, she deserves it. It'd be utterly tragic otherwise. I cant imagine it ending well... And I hope Cheryll doesn't turn back. And I kinda hope Blake doesn't turn back so she can have a REAL family. Not the absolute garbage her biological ones are.
Date: 04/09/18 08:07 pm Title: Chapter 15: New Girl
Ahhhh. I have only felt so immersed a few times on this site and to put it lightly this story is amazing. You have put me way past the edge of my seat, The charter development on this chapter made sure of that. It has made me sad to think that some of the people may switch back but in the back of my mind I hope they stay.
Very well done. If I could rate it 6 out of 5 I would
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad to hear you're enjoying it thus far, I look forward to seeing what you feel on future chapters.
Date: 04/09/18 04:19 am Title: Prologue: The Complexity of Us
Just imagine me doing the long drawn out worried noise that Tina from Bob's Burgers makes. Google it if you have never seen the show. After this chapter that is me right now, because having the fucking fate as a 50/50 is driving me crazy.
For some reason I was happier when I thought you had just planned out who would do what, and even though the literal coin might just give regular results to what I would anticipate with the story, its freaking me out more.
Author's Response: Imagine how that 50/50 feels for the characters! I'm glad to hear that the anticipation is getting people invested.
Date: 04/08/18 11:02 pm Title: Prologue: The Complexity of Us
One, I love it! Two, the fact that you're gonna toss coins to decide who changes back is gutsy as hell, but potentially brilliant if you're a strong enough writer, which I guess you are. I came here expecting that you'd keep at least Dianne and Cole in their new genders and keep them in their romance because that would be the TGS standard. That's what's been done a million times before. Anything else would be harder, and obviously more unique. So my suggestion was going to be that after you write whichever ending you had in mind, that you then also write alternate endings with different results.
Author's Response: I've tossed around the idea of having a "Across the flip" bonus chapter, in which I write out the opposite result as a non-canon entry (opposite meaning that whatever characters did/didn't change is reversed). Whether or not I do that will be entirely dependent on time.
Date: 04/08/18 04:16 pm Title: Chapter 15: New Girl
Are you really going to throw a coin or roll dice before deciding who changes back? I can now safely say it would break my heart, if Diane had to go through all again the other way. How could one survive that and stay sane?
Author's Response: Yep, after the update preceding the end of the two weeks I'll be flipping a coin for every character.
Date: 04/04/18 03:47 pm Title: Chapter 14: All kinds of dreams
This was some HEAVY stuff this chapter. Also I saw your note about how you're literally going to flip a coin for each character, that is an amazing amount of dedication and I cant wait to see how it turns out. How does this disease effect those who turn back? Does it undo the mental changes it does or does it make them essentially Transgender? Yikes if the second one, that's just horrific. Having gender dysphoria, always knowing you could have had the body you wanted... if only the coin had flipped the other side. I don't know how I'd react after that... if this happened to me and then I turned back. I'd probably do the same thing I'm doing now but ... it would be MUCH more bittersweet.
Author's Response: I don't want to say too much, as it does dip into spoiler territory, but psychologically changing back is something that is generally handled on a person to person basis. That's why the curriculum of the clinics (as Ms.Johnson sums up in her first appearance) is less about accepting that you might not change back and more about accepting either outcome.
Date: 03/07/18 12:44 pm Title: Chapter 13: Confessions, Emails and Phone Calls
I like that writing tip. Wait... *gasp* you're not going to take away Cheryl's feminity are you?! My question is, what do characters have without their defining features? I guess we'll find out soon...
Author's Response: What the tip really means is less "take away what defines a character to the audience" and more "take away how a character defines themself". Example, Ellen defines her self with he stutter, she believes it to be something synonymous with what people associate with her. If she doesn't have it anymore, how does her perception of herself change? Blake has defined herself thusfar heavily with her poor home life, and the feeling of worthless inadequacy that has come with it. Now that she is detached from that life, however, we can begin to see who she really is.
Date: 03/05/18 03:36 am Title: Chapter 13: Confessions, Emails and Phone Calls
Things are getting so intense. Daily is getting her just desserts but I fear this wont be the last we see of her. Cheryll's story is tragic, the disease can literally wipe your personality clean? How horrifying...
I'm so glad she's going to adopt Blake, Blake really needs a positive role model rather than the pieces of human garbage her parents were. Also in a way they are going through what Trans people go through, isn't that an option in this world? If Cheryll is a girl in heart and soul now, but her body reverts to her old one, can she transition maybe?
Author's Response: I'd say the comparison between the people at the clinic and Trans people is more than valid, and should Cheryl change back, transitioning would definitely be an option. I suppose I should pull this bandaid off, but I have no idea who changes back at the end, and I won't know until the story reaches that point. The moment I've posted the update that immediately precedes the end of the two weeks, I'll be flipping a real life coin to determine who stays changed and who doesn't. To do it any other way I felt would have cheapened the story.
Date: 02/28/18 11:33 pm Title: Chapter 12: Turning Cogs
Just so many things... so many things about this are the freaking best! How you can manage to write dialogue that isn't attributed to a character and yet I can effortlessly understand who is saying what. The amount of amazing foreshadowing that makes everything better (and even when you know bad stuff is about to go down that makes it better too). I've been screaming at my computer when Blake gets happy just as much as when she's in a bad spot. Ellen's FREAKING MOMENT! Holy shit! *sigh* I need this story in my life in full as soon as you possibly can. Phew... My goodness I love this story. Umm, as a side note... are the six kids we follow the only one at this clinic? Like the way things were written during their first few days there I assumed this was just one friend group of like anywhere from 20ish-100 kids, but the past two chapters make it feel like these six are the only ones here, which feels weird as the clinic feels like it should be servicing more like 20-100 kids at a time, but that's just my two cents. Anywho... this story is giving me life right now and I love it so much and if you leave it unfinished I will be unbelievably sad. P.S. if you want a beta reader, I would be so down.
Author's Response: Wow, thanks for the amazingly kind words! Dialogue is something I'm not the best at, so I'm super happy that it's been coming across clear (part of it, I think, is that I've been trying to give each character a distinct "style" of speech which makes them easy to tell apart.) Also Ellen's moment was actually one of the first scenes I had plotted out in the story (first total scene I outlined however is the final one, which as of this time hasn't been posted yet) and is intended as a kind of "crowning moment of awesome" for her, as well as the final nudge in her personal character arc. The 6 we follow are currently the only people attending the clinic. It's mentioned once or twice, but there are a few different clinic's close enough, so batches are a bit smaller (there's also that the "size" is kind of random, ranging anywhere between 5-30 on average, depending on location.) I'm happy to hear my story is keeping you entertained, and I want to assure you that it will be finished (I had one bout of not updating for personal reasons, but am now writing again in full force). I appreciate the offer to be a proofreader! Sadly though I already have someone for that job, but I'll keep you in mind if I need a beta-reader for future stories after this one has concluded.
Date: 02/28/18 08:20 pm Title: Chapter 9: Their Stories
When I saw the first bit of this chapter I was like "Is this a montage episode?" and then I kept reading and it was a montage episode!!! Literally my favorite freaking thing. So I was definetly going to review when I got caught up, but this chapter made me give an extra preemptive review because I love this so much!
Author's Response: Glad to hear you're enjoying it thus far! "Their Stories" was my favorite chapter thus far to write, it gave me a lot of opportunities to show off the characters in new and fun ways.
Date: 02/26/18 11:37 pm Title: Chapter 12: Turning Cogs
Love this chapter! It flowed really well. Ms. Johnson's adoption of Blake comes as a surprise, but I don't see why it should have surprised me. She's taking an amazing step forward, and this could be a wonderful happy ending for Blake after the last chapter's sadness. I'm also pleased to see that Dr. Faily is going to finally receive some justice for her cruel actions!
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad to hear you're enjoying it.
Date: 02/25/18 05:19 am Title: Chapter 12: Turning Cogs
Yep, way back in chapter 8. She meddled where she shouldn't have. I get the feeling Daily has never been a benevolent force. I wonder if we'll learn what her motivations are. This is downright creepy she would put Blake in danger like that.
Author's Response: Dr.Daily has always meddled, just now though she's crossed one too many lines.
Date: 02/04/18 08:24 pm Title: Chapter 11: A Few Breakthroughs
This is awful... Blake cant even help it and her parents apparently are too stupid to live. I mean this is a disease, it is not "pretend" ugh people like that are utter scum. Please give Blake a hug for me, Only if she's okay with it though. The poor dear... that's so awful!
Author's Response: Her parents are dicks, grade A 100% bonafide. A lot of who Blake is as a person is a reflection of the problems they cause. Don't fret however, because personal change comes often after personal loss ;)
Date: 01/31/18 08:49 pm Title: Chapter 11: A Few Breakthroughs
Honestly, minus the mind controlling aspects of Tiresias, I view it as a semi-ideal way to change gender. The only major issue I have with this story is with the latest chapter, and even that is not really a huge deal considering how good this story is. Your character interaction is amazing and fun, though I have to say, the idea of someone launching themselves over a table to kiss someone as a joke is pretty cartoony. XD
They're all victims... none of them chose this for themselves presumably, and well... it seems politically incorrect for people to be so violent towards victims of Tiresias, even if so far those people are a minority. I know there will still be ignorant people, but there's a lot less here for ignorant people to work on I think. If I were an ignorant person I would be terrified that it was catching and stay away. Fear of the unknown is pretty big here. Whereas with Trans people in general, people hate you because of the life choices you've made or at least that is their reasoning. One could say that because being trans is a state of mind and not of the body, and it is only suppressible and not changeable, we are already victims of something that holds power over us like Tiresias. But Tiresias feels a lot more potent and direct... and it results in 100% gender changes when people are stuck after the 50/50 chance of changing back. With the support centers around social integration is far more likely (and honestly, even Ellen seems to be super well adjusted). I'm jealous of all of these courses they get to take. I know I'd love to have them.
I think they will be investigating the Dr's involvement in this. Or I would hope so. I'd expect with this she'll have overextended herself in her mischief. Causing a child this kind of emotional trauma is unforgivable. There can be no question that she is in violation of the Hippocratic oath.
I expect there would be a lot of trans people who would chase down Tiresias victims in an effort to get themselves infected.
Overall, definitely five stars!
Author's Response: Thanks for the kind words, I hope you enjoy the upcoming chapters
Date: 01/31/18 09:00 am Title: Chapter 11: A Few Breakthroughs
That was the "good" Doctor's doing, was it?
What a powerful chapter!
Author's Response: Thanks
Date: 01/30/18 10:04 pm Title: Chapter 9: Their Stories
I abandoned your story a while ago, I forget why, maybe I didn't get hooked. But that was undeserved, I probably read it too fast. Upon second reading it is pretty darn good. I am currently on this chapter, so I'm not fully caught up, but I have to say with Ellen and Blake's own stories, not only is what you wrote original (the boiling water analogy, and the pieces that broke off and mingled), but also hot as hell. So before I proceeded with the following chapters, I wanted to make sure to punctuate this chapter with a well-deserved 5-star rating.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! The opening chapters, I think, are the weakest part of the story for a variety of reasons, chiefly because I was still finding my "voice" in my writing at that point, if you know what I mean. I appreciate that you gave my story a second chance, and I'm glad you're enjoying it thus far! I hope you continue to read and enjoy future chapters!
Date: 01/30/18 05:01 pm Title: Chapter 11: A Few Breakthroughs
Absolutely loved this story. Feel sorry for Blake. Life isn't always fair.
Author's Response: Good to hear you're enjoying it thus far! Blake is the most "tragic" character in this story by a decent margin, but her struggles are important in the overall theme, don't worry though, there's more in store for her, things are starting to look up!
Date: 01/28/18 08:14 am Title: Chapter 10: Starting and ending with pillows
YAY YOU"RE BACK! I'm glad! I know I didn't post much sorry... i went through... a lot of my own things. But thank you for this story. I'm so biting my nails and wondering whose going to change back and who isn't? Cheryl seems so happy I hope she doesn't change back it would crush her...
Author's Response: Don't worry about it, it's nice to just know I've got people reading. If my estimates are right (so give or take 1 or 2) I think it'll be about 6 chapters until the end of the two weeks, but I'm sure the time is gonna fly by, there's a lot of important stuff happening in between ;) Visitation day, the update currently in the works, is gonna be intense! Thanks for reading, I look forward to seeing what you think of the upcoming parts
Date: 11/29/17 06:22 am Title: Prologue: The Complexity of Us
Just read this for the first time. You have captured my imagination and need to write more.
Author's Response: Sorry for the long hiatus! I'm glad to hear you're enjoying it thus far and hope that you continue to read as the story picks back up.
Date: 06/10/17 04:23 am Title: Prologue: The Complexity of Us
This is a wonderful story..I love the multiple character approach which reminds me of some of my favourite longer stories..watching a group of friends develop and interact. Bravo!
Author's Response: Thanks for the kind words! I look forward to seeing what you think of the upcoming chapters.
Date: 04/17/17 08:28 am Title: Prologue: The Complexity of Us
You're Ellen, there's no other explanation as to why you're so good at this.
Author's Response: Nah, she's leagues better than I am, but I appreciate the complement!
Author's Response: Nah, she's leagues better than I am, but I appreciate the complement!
Date: 04/17/17 04:19 am Title: Chapter 9: Their Stories
I was a bit disappointed by this chapter. I like build-ups and understand that's what's being done here, but this chapter feels a bit off, like it's filling in for something more than building up. Still it was a nice read, and I like your writing style that you put into this. I can tell it took a long time to write just from reading it and I can see the heart put into it. Still, great job, can't wait till Visitation Day!
Author's Response: Yeah, this chapter is more of a "Filler Chapter" than anything else. Visitation day starts at the end of the next update, and will probably take either 1 very long chapter or two moderate length chapters to complete due to how very eventful they'll be. I hope you like those chapters and it makes up for this one if it wasn't to your liking.
Date: 04/13/17 08:52 pm Title: Chapter 8: The Stutterer and the Fighter
If I could put more stars I would. The flow of the story is evenly consistent and you always keep me on the edge of my seat when ever each character experiences Something new. So far my favorite part is when Blake helps Ellen out of her stuttering. It really melted my Hart and completely change my perspective of Blake. Well done
Author's Response: Thank you so much for the complement! I'm glad your enjoying the story thus far and hope that you like what more I have in store for it.
Date: 04/12/17 09:59 am Title: Chapter 8: The Stutterer and the Fighter
An enjoyable story so far. When Ellen took up the mike, the first song I thought of was Scatman (Ski Ba Bop Ba Dop Bop). Though, thinking on it now, actually singing it might have been difficult for her, and wouldn't have opened up to what happened between her and Blake as easily.
Author's Response: I don't think I've heard of that song, I'll have to look it up at some point. The scene with Ellen and Blake was fun to right, if for no other reason than because of how it's just a sweet moment between the two.
Date: 04/12/17 09:47 am Title: Chapter 8: The Stutterer and the Fighter
Nice story arc, good character development, I guess next we are going to learn about the nastier side of Dr Daily?
Author's Response: Yes, she'll be playing a large role in the upcoming major events. While she may not be in the next update prominently, for Visitation Day she'll absolutely be front and center, and at least one other update after that depending on how my writing works out. She's a real piece o' work in all the worst ways.
Date: 03/28/17 06:29 pm Title: Chapter 6: Getting to know themselves (and each other)
I actually love how they all have such varying personalities. I think it's personally pretty awesome. Also this virus is pretty evil, screwing with their head and their sexualities? I'm not sure if you'll ever explain what this is, but I love to keep speculating.
It's so weird but wow this story is powerful, thank you
Author's Response: Tiresias is a crafty lil' bugger alright, it doesn't just alter a person physically, it does it's best to alter them psychologically as well. This wouldn't be as much of a problem if the 50% ratio didn't exist, but because of that caveat it makes cases like Cheryl much more difficult to handle. Thanks for the kind words!
Date: 03/27/17 07:54 pm Title: Chapter 6: Getting to know themselves (and each other)
This is a really good story and I couldn't wait till it was updated! I can't wait for the next chapter!
Author's Response: Thank you! Next update is around Half done, so it should be out by the end of the week assuming nothing goes wrong.
Date: 03/27/17 05:32 am Title: Chapter 6: Getting to know themselves (and each other)
In my opinion, everything has been written in a great way!
I understand you still find things to improve, but it's easily readable send enjoyable!
Author's Response: Thanks so much for your kind words, I hope you like the story as it progressed further!
Date: 03/27/17 03:34 am Title: Chapter 6: Getting to know themselves (and each other)
Your doing fine it's hard to juggle so many personalities, I'm looking forward to seeing what you do next with this story.
Author's Response: It does get difficult at times managing so many characters, and as a result they don't all get the love they deserve (Ali/Jin has been particularly neglected, hopefully I can fix that in some later updates). For the most part though everyone will (probably) get their own time to shine at some point, considering they all have specific character arcs that will be covered.
Date: 03/26/17 09:00 am Title: Chapter 3: The Stutterer and the Name Caller
Based on my experience I'd much rather call her a down to earth, sensible and very intelligent woman :)
I like this story, it is a very interesting idea, well written, too!
Author's Response: Assuming you're referring to Dr.Daily. She's smart, but not the greatest person. It'll be shown more a bit later.
Date: 03/20/17 07:57 pm Title: Chapter 4: The length of hair and the passing of time
How often will you be updating this? Best story
Author's Response: I'm shooting for once a week at least. I've been out of town and unable to update, which is why it's been a bit since the last chapter. Now that I'm back though things should move along more quickly.
Date: 03/17/17 02:14 am Title: Chapter 4: The length of hair and the passing of time
Interesting. There were some minor grammatical issues yet again (such as "has" and "have" being used in the wrong way). The chapter itself feels strange, especially the part about the hair. Every strand of hair that is outside your skin is already dead and has no blood flos or neutral input, which makes it really weird that Alo's hair would snap at any point along the way, unless this illness also results in a weakening of the keratinocytes and that the hair thus snaps where the hair is thinner. This would however mean that the clinical manifestations of the illness start long enough before the actual change that the new men have a typical men's hairlength.
The same can be said in reverse for the new women, where does the extra hair go if it doesn’t go outside the skin? Most people have had problems with a strand of hair being ingrown somewhere in your skin, now imagine this happening with every single strand of hair on your head. Horrible thought!
Author's Response: Still gotta work on improving my grammar (sorry about that again). The hair section is intended to be particularly strange, and it will be brought up again later in the story. All I can say, minus spoilers, is that it plays an interesting role down the line. When writing this story I wanted it to exist in the quasi-real world (which I suppose is immediately shattered by a disease causing spontaneous sex change!), but I also wanted to create this distinct sense of unease when describing the Tiresias, like it's something that reasonably shouldn't exist. This ties somewhat into the opening section which delves philosophically into the idea of impossibility and complex human interaction, and is also why I opted to name Tiresias, as well as the clinics, after Mythological sources (although I suppose the Clinic's only half count, on account of Ovid being a real person who wrote about mythology). Basically, though, the hair changing portion of the disease is meant to almost challenge the suspension of disbelief, but not among the readers, among the characters! That's a big part of the reason why Daniel and Jason react the way they do, and why Casey thinks it's so funny, because they're seeing something that, by scientific definitions, shouldn't reasonably exist the way it does.
Date: 03/16/17 04:20 pm Title: Chapter 4: The length of hair and the passing of time
wow really enjoyed that chapter a lot. the way you explained everything that was happening made me feel like i was there. you really are a great writer.
Author's Response: Thank you very much for the kind words!
Date: 03/14/17 07:31 pm Title: Chapter 3: The Stutterer and the Name Caller
i like the Dr. Daily character myself, a no bs doctor is a must with this disease, great update and looking forward to the change
Author's Response: No BS is one way to put it, but there's a bit more to the character that'll be shown later in the story. She's smart, and she knows the disease inside and out, but she isn't exactly "A Good Person" per say. Again, this will really be explored later on.
Date: 03/14/17 10:35 am Title: Chapter 3: The Stutterer and the Name Caller
God, that physician is such a bitch. I can't believe that she's even allowed to practice medicine if she treats her patients such as that and discriminates on such simple facts as gender identity. How is she to know whether Daniel's gender identity will change when Daniel turns female? Had this been real life she would have been reported over and over again.
As for the rest of this chapter, Dr. Bitch took too much space in it for one to remember much else.
Author's Response: Fun fact, in the original drafts of the story Dr. Daily (or Dr. b****, as you put it) was named Dolores, a nod to the fact that she was inspired by Dolores Umbridge from the Harry Potter series. Yeah, she's a real "piece o' work" in a lot of ways, and was rather difficult to write as a result. The best way to describe her, which is another reference to Harry Potter, would definitely be "Poisoned Honey".
Date: 03/11/17 10:51 pm Title: Chapter 1: Explanations and Medical Mumbo Jumbo
I can't see how it can be classified as irreversible if the disease only appeared less than a decade earlier. Some bacteria, such as Treponema pallidum, and viruses, such as Varicella zoster, can remain dormant in your body for decades before you get a new clinical manifestation with any actual symptoms.
Author's Response: It's classified as "irreversible" because modern science has no current equivalent that can generate the same level of response in the human body. Sure, if someone afflicted really wanted to change back they could undergo surgery, but that'd still be under the constraints of modern medicine, which is imperfect in that field. While they don't know if those afflicted will change back later in life, they do know that the only thing that could currently initiate such a change would be the disease itself, which can't be contracted twice (This was set to be explained later, but it's not really a big "spoiler", so I don't mind just saying it now). Furthermore there is a large push from Psychological communities to treat the Disease as if it was One-Way in order to limit future complications that those afflicted may experience mentally. This will actually be covered much more in the next two chapters.
Date: 03/11/17 06:43 pm Title: Chapter 2: Catharsis Cubed
now the story shall start. you got a real talent for writing, the way you describe things is amazing, great update
Author's Response: Good to hear it's being well received. My Dialogue writing has always been a weak spot, I was afraid that it'd be a sticking point for people, but it seems like people aren't bothered!
Date: 03/11/17 11:30 am Title: Chapter 1: Explanations and Medical Mumbo Jumbo
Pretty impressive, glad to see you take it as lightly as me. Although short, you describe people and their emotions in a semi-subtle way that makes sense and I have fun growing to love it. Keep it up! You wrote your paper better than any workproject I've come across and I admire that.
If you had gone haywire in any part of your updates, this review wouldn't have come with a primo rating.
Author's Response: Thank you for your kind words! I want to make my story focused a bit more on the emotional aspects of the change rather than the sexual ones, although there will be some more...risque moments later on. I'm glad to hear my rather...circuitous writing style is getting well received, I know it can be a little bit verbose at times.
Date: 03/11/17 11:11 am Title: Prologue: The Complexity of Us
You're telling me that just by tempering with history, I might have murdered an entire civilization of babies? Wow, thanks. Just when I was about to build a time machine and fix my mistakes in the past too. Bad news, bad news...We need to spread this message to time travellers out there and remind them to think of the children quick!
"Every second of everyday, something impossible happens." You will need an example fresh from the lab and a mind to comprehend it before I'm satisfied though, also I don't know what it has to do with your idea of complexity either. But I digress, it is a very intriguing start and it's no business of mine to get petty, I just have a small curiosity to why you were tossing philosophy around to begin with.
Author's Response: The beginning section about Complexity, especially the part towards the ending, is tying into an overall theme I'm working with. While it may be a little difficult to tell currently, as the story progresses it'll become much clearer. And yeah, you gotta watch out with those time machines! THINK OF THE BABIES!