Date: 02/28/17 09:44 pm Title: Chapter 1
I am a huge sucker for stories like this. Reality change-based stories where the victim slowly starts to shift into a completely different persona have always been right up my alley
Because of that, I can only agree with ThePro. The entire transformation is well done and deliciously slow. The futile mental struggle of both Ryan and Melissa was exciting and satisfying to read.
The beginning dragged a bit, but I ultimately enjoyed this story a lot. I'd love to see more like this.
Author's Response: Thank you very much for your review lurkingTGStory!
Date: 02/28/17 02:47 am Title: Chapter 8
I registered just to review this.
Fantastic. Identity death is not my thing, but this is perhaps the pinnacle of how it should be handled. TF fans, don't be too worried by the disclaimer. The transition is slow and sometimes (delightfully) agonizing. The author has a real talent rarely seen in writers of this genre, both for the more literal erotica and for the kinky psychological stuff that makes TG worthwhile. The "victim" does, ironially, end up in a position of power by the end. Which some will like, some won't. (I'm the bad end type myself, but I suppose the bad end for poor Ryan came long before the coronation). But the way the protagonist (antagonist?) gets there is well done, with hints to whats going on layered throughout the story. So it's not just good tg, but good writing in and of itself.
My only criticism (besides some typos here and there) Honestly, it's too long. Could probably get the same effect with less text. Especially in the beginning. Establishing the family dynamic was vital, but there was some redundant parts.
Fun fact: Even before the comment in last chapter, I was imagining Renée looked like Sophie Marceau in Braveheart. A fave of mine as well, IancundIuliana.
I would very much like to see more from you in the future. This is the kind of tg story that I check these sites for, and they're all too rare.
Author's Response: Thanks for the kind words! I think I made the beginning so long in order to introduce some characters who I had plans for later. I will probably still do some chapters following up their stories. My philosophy is that for an identity death story to be solid, you need to have a character to destroy in the first place. Furthermore, despite the way it's eroticised here, I also think the genre leans so heavily close to horror at all times, that to trying pretend it's otherwise is madness. At the moment I am trying to finish another story I started in the middle of Coronation. Hopefully it will be a bit more compact this time around... but I can't promise anything.
Date: 02/27/17 12:02 pm Title: Chapter 8
If this is the end it does feel a bit unfinished.
Another thing about this story is that it felt like two different stories were merged into one. There was no mention of this plot before Ryan became Renée full time, which did feel a bit strange considering how many people were involved in it.
I'm mostly disappointed that Melissa didn’t survive any longer because she seemed to be the bravest character in the story and did deserve more space.
Overall it was a nice attempt at mixing identity death and dimension warping but it felt a bit too ambitious and some parts of the story could have been omitted.
Author's Response: What I intend to do if I come back to this universe, is focus on some of the other people who were living in the city. I didn't want to introduce too many characters in this section, so I will probably include a chapter or two about that character was doing before everything shifted. This probably ends the story of these characters however, unless they show up in some one else's story. Well, I wanted to create the feeling that reality was still shifting and the past of this new reality was unstable, even as Ryan was transforming. But there are subtle mentions to something going on, like Galier and Ambre's ambiguous statements earlier in the story. It seems that Galier is just love-sick, but... Once again, thank you for your reviews! I just realised that all of these reviews were by you.
Date: 02/27/17 11:17 am Title: Chapter 6
I like how you shifted focus from Ryan to Melissa when his mind gave out. The character of Melissa appears to be much stronger than she seemed at first.
The biology part felt strange since men and women have an equal amount of vertebrae and if her spinal column was cut shorter then her spinal nerves and medulla would be cut away as well, leaving her unable to control most of her lower body.
Author's Response: Thank you for your review! Oops, I thought I had put that they had shifted around, not disappeared all together. My biology knowledge is pretty poor, so it's interesting to see a comment like this. Anyways, I will fix that soon enough.
Date: 02/27/17 10:05 am Title: Chapter 4
Ok. Now it is explained how things happen. This slow immersion into this world seems to be a good set-up for a very gradual identity death, unless they somehow manage to return to their former world. One problem with identity deaths for all characters is that it becomes an entirely new story with new characters.
Date: 02/27/17 08:36 am Title: Chapter 3
You haven't really made it clear whether the main character has been transformed or if it is just everyone else's perception that has changed. He appears to be much weaker but is still dressed in his normal clothes. A bit more clarification would be good.
Date: 02/27/17 04:39 am Title: Chapter 1
Interesting start. There were some minor grammatical issues in this first part, mostly words being neglected in some places. The spacing was a bit tight and the paragraphs were very tight.
As for the story itself, you are very talented at writing and you write in a captivating manner. I am not a fan of identity death but I am interested to see where this story leads.