Reviews For Ditzy Demise
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Reviewer: Mary Michelson Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/23/17 02:08 pm Title: Introduction

I tend not to rate stories until they're complete, but it's not fair you've received three 2-star ratings from the same person because your science fiction story isn't realistic enough. I'd like to see you finish, but until then, I will partially counteract any damage done.

Reviewer: ubougie Signed Report
Date: 02/22/17 07:11 am Title: Introduction

I know there's no way to comment to another commenter on this site, but even sci-fi stories stretch the imagination. I leave it at the author's discretion to decide how believable they'll make a transformation, and at the reader's imagination of whether or not they buy it. One trick I employ is to always assume every story takes place in a universe where such changes are really easy. Like how superheroes get exposed to toxic waste and get super powers. Obviously in real life that's not at all the case. You gotta give a little leeway to the storytelling. As for going forward as an author, the solution to this kind of criticism is hand-waving. Oh, it's just some special cocktail no one has discovered yet until now, and it just so happens to do what I need it to do for the story to move forward. I'll forgive an author for not going into "frequent visits to the bathroom" to explain the bulk loss, since that's a detail that just brings the story down. So anyway, while 930310's criticism is fair for their own criteria, it shouldn't be representative I feel of most people on this site who give a lot more leeway to authors, and I think giving 2 stars 3 times is a bit harsh.

Reviewer: 930310 Signed starstar Report
Date: 02/20/17 10:04 pm Title: Day 2: confrontation

The changes seem to happen in really odd and specofic ways. If the change in stature was thst quick there is a very high risk of the bully's organs becoming calcified and a huge chance of atherosclerosis due to the excess amount of calcium released from the bone mass being reabsorbed by the body. Another side effect is that his heart would probably stop beating and his muscles would no longer contract, leaving him paralyzed.
This kind of change is not sci-fi, it's magical.

Reviewer: 930310 Signed starstar Report
Date: 02/20/17 09:53 pm Title: Day 1: encounter

How could something injected into your blood affect something that is not part of your body but rather cosmetical??

Reviewer: 930310 Signed starstar Report
Date: 02/20/17 09:50 pm Title: Introduction

Ok. While his behaviour is disrespectful it is straight out illegal for her to possess this substance and for her to inject it into someone else's circulation.
There are several mistakes in your spelling.

Reviewer: ubougie Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/19/17 05:11 pm Title: Introduction

I tend to like these stories, of incremental changes where the protagonist can barely keep up with their changes, and how quickly they get used to them. I look forward to more updates. Presumably from the title there's a point where you'll lose me, but I'm guessing I'll enjoy the early chapters.

Reviewer: Person42 Signed Report
Date: 02/19/17 10:12 am Title: Day 1: encounter

There are numerous grammatical errors, and the way you talk to the reader in the introduction takes away from the story, in my opinion. That said, the chapters are also short, extremely short, but you're off to a good start. I don't know if I'll continue reading personally, because images throw me off.

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