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Reviewer: Krv1987 Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/01/17 01:44 am Title: Dan on the Bus

Could do with more filling out but all in all a fun story.

Reviewer: frugalberrypie Signed starstar Report
Date: 01/25/17 04:28 am Title: Dan on the Bus

The bits with the rape are a bit weird, not sure the story needs them. I felt the story over all lacked coherence and looked like a shopping list. None of the characters felt like people, there was very little motivation for anyone. Also buses have drivers. Overall a bit cheap, even for a short story.

Author's Response: 1) What r***? 2) Yes introduce the characters use them and get rid. 3) Most were influenced by magic. 4) The Driver was mentioned many times. 5) It's meant to be cheap

Reviewer: 930310 Signed starstarstar Report
Date: 01/23/17 03:48 am Title: Dan on the Bus

The grammar detoriated as the story progressed. Proofreading would not hurt.

Author's Response: Yeah proofreading was a little hard once the words started moving sorry

Reviewer: snowangel Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 01/22/17 07:15 pm Title: Dan on the Bus

interesting story for sure. for sure a fun read

Author's Response: Thankyou that's all it was meant to be

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