Date: 01/04/17 08:40 am Title: Chapter 1
I read your entire story in one go and it simply felt rushed. There wasn’t that much plot and instead you filled the gaps with vivid descriptions of Arlene crossdressing. It felt repetitive at times and it wouldn't have hurt if you'd given more information about the different spirits and more background on the supporting characters.
Author's Response: Ouch! Sixty-five pages and it felt rushed? If it didn't have much plot then maybe it should have been shorter, although then it would presumably feel even more rushed. What was lacking, I suppose, was more action, although that would make it a quite different kind of story. But I will keep that thought in mind as I write in the future. Negative feedback is valuable. I'm guessing that "repetitive" referred to the various cross-dressing descriptions. I'll admit to that, but at least they were vivid! :-) Still, the story must have been engrossing enough for you to read it in one go. I'll take that as a positive sign.
Date: 01/04/17 06:42 am Title: Chapter 1
I just finished the story on your site. I tried to convert it to an epub for easier reading on my kindle but it destroyed the formatting. So the pdf had to do.
I loved tone, the dark atmosphere, Great old ones, and it was tossed up with Archie of all things. It made for a great read.
Author's Response: Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it. The story was all about tone and atmosphere, so I'm glad that came through. Sorry about the epub thing. On my to-do list is learning how to export the story to different formats. When I get around to doing that, I'll go back and post some of my older, more substantial stories (like this one) in the new format.