Date: 12/19/16 08:28 pm Title: Ironheart Industries
I think that you could use an editor/proofreader to check over your translation; most of it is quite readable but there are some weird words here and there, which could be fixed fairly easily.
The story itself is a little simplistic and sounds like a wish-fulfillment fantasy, honestly. However, I think you are pretty good at describing scenes and have a good sense of pacing!
Author's Response: Thank you. I'm happy you enjoyed it. My writing skills are still a work in progress as well as my english. I hope I'll get there soon.