Reviews For Angels In The Snow
You must login (register) to review.
Reviewer: Amanda Lynn Signed Report
Date: 02/03/18 07:22 pm Title: "And Here We Go"

Please come back to this story. There is so much good to it.

Reviewer: Alanis Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/09/17 12:12 pm Title: 'NOTE'

Cannot believe this isn't going to get finished :(

Author's Response: I know ); I'm sorry. Maybe next christmas I'll work on it again. It's just with school and work I never have any time to write. And I have a hard time getting in the mood now that Christmas is over.

Reviewer: 930310 Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/05/17 10:10 pm Title: Mall? Church? WTF?

The story continues nicely. There was however a part where you went from first to second point of view. The chapter wouldn't hurt from being proofread.
As for the story itself, by mentioning the fact that Alex has a choice to stay female in the end you've with a very high likelihood already given us the ending. Almost all MTF transformations are a one way street with no turning back. I would have liked him just seeing how it is like to be a girl and then return to being a boy with a valuable insight and lesson learned.

Author's Response: Thanks for the review. I do read through each chapter at least twice before posting it, but I still have trouble finding all my mistakes. Especially with the short amount of time I had to write each chapter, I was so busy with work and all, I was literally writing a chapter and proof reading it in one night. Also I understand where you're coming from with the going back or staying part. Looking back now, I do see a lot of things that I'd liked to have done differently, but I'll probably end up going back and fixing it next christmas when I start up again.

Reviewer: 930310 Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/05/17 09:55 pm Title: The Change

I'm really enjoying the direction this story is going. As I said earlier, the writing is a bit inconsistent with some parts probably being in need of proofreading.

Reviewer: 930310 Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/05/17 09:43 pm Title: "And Here We Go"

Interesting start! The grammar got sloppy in a few places but it was mostly negligible. I really enjoyed how you kept a satirical vibe going throughout the beginning and made it humorous.

Reviewer: Darkseide Signed Report
Date: 02/03/17 05:45 pm Title: 'NOTE'

add some cheerleading

Reviewer: grabber_blue Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/08/16 03:49 am Title: Girl Stuff

Nice chapter. Would have been nice to see her knock the guy out haha would have been funny cause then they'd all be standing there in shock cause I bet Julia set all that up... But any who can't wait for more. Definitely get me more and more interested every chapter. Can't wait for more. Maybe lexy and her mom do something together. Or maybe her and her dad that would be interesting for lexy. So many ways the story could go... Maybe she'll stay a girl after all said and done :)

Author's Response: Thanks the the review, I guess you'll just have to keep reading and find out what happens (;

Reviewer: grabber_blue Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/08/16 03:27 am Title: What's Happening?

I liked it. Glad you discribed what she looks like

Reviewer: grabber_blue Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/08/16 03:06 am Title: Mall? Church? WTF?

Was an interesting chapter. Be nice to see mom and her talk more and things. I liked it though :)

Reviewer: grabber_blue Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/08/16 02:36 am Title: The Change

Very interesting :o

Reviewer: grabber_blue Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/08/16 01:50 am Title: "And Here We Go"

Hmmmm interesting story it's got me curious for sure

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/07/16 08:43 pm Title: Girl Stuff

I feel like this chapter makes a lot of sense. Trying to make someone who is a misogynist believe women are not inferior by saying being a girl is a punishment is not going to change their mind. Being a girl shouldn't be a punishment, with a misogynist like this kid showing him women suffer more wont work IMO. I'm not sure what would work... he's pretty awful.

Author's Response: It's not about showing him that woman suffer more, or that women are better. It's not even supposed to be a punishment, this is all about proving to him that women are human too, and being a man is not any better than being a woman. A human is a human no matter what the gender, race, or nationality is. There is no human who is made better than the other, it's what you choose to become that makes you special! This story is only about gender equality, but it all still comes down to, we are all human!! And yes I agree, he is pretty awful at the moment, keep reading and see how things turn out! Thanks for the review!!!!

Reviewer: Ultimatesaiyanprince Signed Report
Date: 12/07/16 07:26 pm Title: "And Here We Go"

Story coming along nicely, but I think it's time Alex got another 'punishment' for misbehaving. After all, isn't this the whole point of the story, Alex being punished.

Author's Response: All in due time, but as I said in my other comment, this isn't about punishing him, it's to show him the there is nothing better about being male. Male, female, it's all the same, you're just built different. All in all though, you're still human, and that is what this story is truly about!! I'm glad you're enjoying it so far though, keep on reading and find out how it ends!!! Who knows, maybe he'll end up as a dumbass slot ready to please the first man she sees!

Reviewer: cds6 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/27/16 12:52 pm Title: "And Here We Go"

The story is cute. I love watching how the boy deals with the change and the struggle he goes through as he learns what it's like to be a girl. But I feel like he might need to deal with a little more actual turmoil in order to understand what it's really like to be a girl. Not just menstruating, but really being talked down to, like he did to other girls for so long. He needs to understand the frustration of being mistreated.

Otherwise, the writing is good and the perspective switches are great. But, on that note, don't stop your main character from interacting with his tormentor. He already knows her and it would make sense for them to interact more. Her not being around seems like it would be stranger than anything, honestly.

But please keep writing! I'm excited to see what else happens!

Author's Response: Thank you for your review, I do have more to come so don't think that his tormentor friend is out of the picture quite yet. Also, yes I agree that he still hasn't learned anything about what it means to be a girl, her mestural cycle is just the very beginning, but sooner or later he's going to learn how different things really are for the "fairer sex", but different isn't always bad. Please keep reviewing as you read, I do appreciate the criticism, and I hope you enjoy the rest!!! Thank you!!!

Reviewer: A mandalin Signed Report
Date: 11/13/16 06:00 pm Title: "And Here We Go"

Going pretty well, like the story. The wedding thing came out of nowhere, I hope it is some sort of prelude to later in the story.

Author's Response: It did, you're right, lol. But who knows, maybe it will!, I guess we'll find out! Thanks for your review!!!

Reviewer: Karl Signed Report
Date: 11/12/16 10:33 pm Title: "And Here We Go"

Overall it is an interesting story. I liked the alternating viewpoint and it is written ok. but the story doesn't seem believable. His whole family going along with it is totally unrealistic. I wouldn't be surprised if he slits his wrists and dies and see how happy his family will be then. But I suppose his parents could be evil bastards.

The premise itself isn't bad. It would just make more sense if an unknown third party did it to him. You know, the cliche old hag he treats rudely.

Overall its ok, so I hope you keep writing.

Author's Response: Thank you for your review, I do know what you mean about the family being a little too understanding. I wasn't sure how to pass that part so I did the best I could. But also remember that the family was in on the plan to change him(You see that in chapter 2), and so they're all just acting. So then, I wasn't sure if maybe they were a little too believable if you know what I mean. And yes maybe it would be better if it was a third party, but I thought I'd try this. Maybe it'll get better in the future. But if you'd like to give me some ideas you could contact me at, I always love a knew perspective! Also, I do plan to go back and maybe reedit it all later on and then post it again. I keep thinking of new Ideas as I go on, and so maybe I'll change it up a little later. But for now, thanks for your review and I do hope to hear from you again either in the future comments or even through email with some new ideas. Thank you!!!

Reviewer: Terrigen Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/11/16 07:52 pm Title: "And Here We Go"

Please continue, enjoying it so far.

Author's Response: Thank you! I have already started working on the next chapter and I plan on adding it tonight, so it should be up by morning!!

You must login (register) to review.
TG Storytime uses the eFiction engine and Vanilla discussions. Design by J6P.