Reviews For Ellie's Education
You must login (register) to review.
Reviewer: Trismegistus Shandy Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/04/17 08:28 pm Title: Chapter 1 - Home for the Summer

I enjoyed this story a lot, though it was a bit of a train wreck toward the end, hard to look at but impossible to look away from. The viewpoint character gets less and less sympathetic as the story goes on until I thought you were writing a tragedy; I'm glad you pulled off a more upbeat, and at least equally satisfying, ending than I was expecting.

Others have suggested that Ellie's diction isn't very realistic for a nine year old, and they're probably right, but I can handwave it: she's obviously looking back on these events from some time later, and she's not nine years old at the time of telling the story to the reader. I found Mason and Judy to be pretty convincing for their purported ages.

There are a few typos here and there -- remarkably few -- but I'll note a couple that are serious enough to affect the reader's experience. One, in the last chapter where the mom comes home to find Ellie by herself, she says:

“Harriet?” Mom asked as I approached her. “What are you doing here?”

For a page or two I thought that Ellie was not merely a manipulative asshole, but delusional about her own identity and that of her siblings; that Ellie and Harriet were alterate personalities in the same body or something, and Harriet was her real legal name, which she'd shifted off onto her brother... it was a while before I realized it was just a typo.

The other:

Oh my good gracious, mom saw me with Tabitha and Bethany.

-- there's a missing "never" or something before "saw". (Also, "Mom" should be capitalized in this context.)

(When I read that paragraph, I wondered if Tabitha and Bethany were hallucinatory and never existed. Did Mason or Judy ever interact with them? I don't think so, Ellie was trying to keep her friends as well as her mother from finding out about her tormenting her brother.)

It was fun to see you subvert the usual tropes that are pervasive in crossdressing fiction. I look forward to seeing more of your work.

Author's Response: Thank you for catching those errors. I can proofread and proofread and proofread, but sometimes mistakes still slip through. I went ahead and corrected them.

Reviewer: ARUSHI Signed Report
Date: 08/15/17 05:18 pm Title: Chapter 1 - Home for the Summer

Dear Mary plz write more stories also could you plz provide your email address I want to send you fan mails plzz🙏🙏🙏🙏

Reviewer: Puffin Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 06/30/17 12:04 pm Title: Chapter 1 - Home for the Summer

A lovely story thank you.

Reviewer: jaimehlers Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 03/14/17 12:25 am Title: Chapter 1 - Home for the Summer

The final chapter seemed a bit rushed. It was still good, just felt like it was trying to get out of a bit of a corner. I actively felt bad for Mason in it; I'm glad things worked out. Now, hopefully, the next time we see the siblings in action, it won't be so obviously one-sided.

Reviewer: Princess_Panty_boy 92646 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 03/13/17 10:41 pm Title: Chapter 8 - Enrollment

Fun story hun thank you for sharing it with us
Hugs Princess

Reviewer: Amy Nichole Signed starstar Report
Date: 03/11/17 11:30 am Title: Chapter 1 - Home for the Summer

Well, this was very unrealistic, you might try writing about older characters. There are no 9 year olds that think or talk this way, even very gifted ones. The main character was extremely unlikable and that made it hard to get through. I also felt the ending was out of place, there's no way the mother would not send her back to the school after everything she did, and then grounded her for two weeks is the only punishment. It was way too "happily ever after." Thanks for writing though, keep at it.

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 03/09/17 11:33 pm Title: Chapter 8 - Enrollment

Wow that was intense. Glad they all are getting the help they need. And the ending wow... Id idn't expect that! I did however suspect Mason was not as unwilling as he claimed. Who knows the truth, maybe Mason is really Harriet maybe Mason just likes to be Harriet sometimes or maybe Mason just likes wearing the clothes. Either way he'll find out on his own and I wish him the best journey.

This ending was a lot sweeter than ever expected. I kinda want to know the epilogue but I understand it's the end. Anyway thanks for the story I hope you have a wonderful day.

Reviewer: snowangel Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 03/09/17 03:25 pm Title: Chapter 8 - Enrollment

im guessing this is the end. loved the ending alot. thanks for a lovey read

Reviewer: Trumf Signed starstarstar Report
Date: 01/28/17 08:46 pm Title: Chapter 1 - Home for the Summer

Well forgetting that it's entirely unrealistic for a moment (mostly thinking about 5 and 9-yearolds not speaking like adults for example), it's kind of good.

I don't get one thing, this school St Catherines, is both a school the women of the family has gone to as a tradition? And then also some kind of school for girls with some kind of issue?

Reviewer: Princess_Panty_boy 92646 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 01/28/17 05:05 am Title: Chapter 7 - Do You Believe in Miracles?

Great story hun thank you for sharing your story with us.
Hugs princess

Reviewer: jaimehlers Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 01/26/17 04:49 pm Title: Chapter 1 - Home for the Summer

Ellie is probably going to be in for a rude awakening next Friday, since I doubt her mom would want to reward her for whatever cleverness she has in mind with the favor Harriet promised her. But what's really up in the air is what will end up happening

Reviewer: snowangel Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 01/26/17 04:08 pm Title: Chapter 7 - Do You Believe in Miracles?

wow this was a awesome update :) well worth the wait

Reviewer: ARUSHI Signed Report
Date: 01/26/17 12:04 pm Title: Chapter 7 - Do You Believe in Miracles?

Yes definitely the wait was worth it,mason's description in cheergirl outfit is what I liked the most and offcourse Ellie's manipulative schemes are at their best,Thanks for the story looking forward for the next part and also for other stories from you

Reviewer: snowangel Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/28/16 04:04 pm Title: Chapter 6 - The Gravity of It All

please tell me there is more :) really love this story. great job

Reviewer: ARUSHI Signed Report
Date: 12/11/16 02:21 am Title: Chapter 6 - The Gravity of It All

Wow another amazing chapter,i wish I had a sister like Ellie,anyway keep uploading I visit the website daily just to check on your story's update,keep up the great work.

Reviewer: jaimehlers Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/05/16 06:15 pm Title: Chapter 6 - The Gravity of It All

I wonder if Mason was a frustrated crossdresser?

Reviewer: EmilyK Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/28/16 09:36 am Title: Chapter 5 - Basketball Games

Keep it up. love the story

Reviewer: SissyKimmy1 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/22/16 08:54 pm Title: Chapter 5 - Basketball Games

This is a fantastic story so far. Thanks for writing it. I like how it has a reasonably realistic premise. The dialogue is well written and not stilted. I like the slow progress of emasculating Mason/Harriet rather than doing it all in one blow. I love the theme of a sister doing this rather than a parent. I like that he is trying to resist but just making it worse. I like some of the descriptions, "I pulled his arms through the armholes, and slowly pulled the zipper up his back. I wanted the sound to torment him as long as possible." That's going to stick in my mind for a long time too. Looking forward to more.

Author's Response: I'm glad you like the story. Your own story, The Sissy Girly Game, was a great inspiration to me. I hope we can continue to inspire each other as the days go on.

Reviewer: ARUSHI Signed Report
Date: 11/21/16 04:47 am Title: Chapter 1 - Home for the Summer

Every chapter seems very realistic,you have very skillfully written such a wonderful story plzz release the next chapter asap

Reviewer: Princess_Panty_boy 92646 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/20/16 03:40 am Title: Chapter 1 - Home for the Summer

I am enjoying your story, especially when the younger sister gets the better of her older brother.
Thank you for sharing your story. I can't wait for the next chapter.

Hugs
Princess

Reviewer: jaimehlers Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/14/16 12:38 am Title: Chapter 1 - Home for the Summer

It might just be me, but Mason is going along with this stuff a little too easily. The business with buying a ton of underwear, wearing his sister's school uniform at the request of his youngest sister, and how he was sitting when Ellie made him write out those sentences, and now the business with the basketball team.

Reviewer: ARUSHI Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/12/16 10:57 am Title: Chapter 1 - Home for the Summer

It is really fun to read,i am curious about what will happen next plzz release the next chapter asap

Reviewer: jaimehlers Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/06/16 07:21 am Title: Chapter 1 - Home for the Summer

Kinda harsh, but it's important to keep your word, especially if it's something that's not fun.

Reviewer: ErinM Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/03/16 01:26 am Title: Chapter 3 - Two Parties, One Ellie

Fun read looking forward to more

Reviewer: FaithRomeyer Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/01/16 03:44 pm Title: Chapter 3 - Two Parties, One Ellie

Nice title, I see what you did there.

I feel like Ellie is getting more corrupted the longer their game goes on, or wicked as the kids would say. Up until this point she has been portrayed as a bright and responsible girl, to see her getting worked up over something like a birthday party is not really the idea I have in mind. About Mason, he'd better put up a fight soon, at first I don't know whom I should be rooting for but now the favor is all for no one, no point if the winner is always obvious.

Reviewer: FaithRomeyer Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/01/16 02:47 pm Title: Chapter 2 - Mason's Girly Debts

You captured the kids' innocence and minds quite well, I'm surprised.

Reviewer: FaithRomeyer Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/01/16 02:23 pm Title: Chapter 1 - Home for the Summer

Neither of them backed down from the other's challenge, very interesting.

You must login (register) to review.
TG Storytime uses the eFiction engine and Vanilla discussions. Design by J6P.