Date: 04/25/17 01:06 am Title: Chapter 1
Everyone makes typos. The important thing is fixing them, particularly when they make it hard to understand.
If you ever feel like you make too many typos, take a look at a news website. Even the big ones like CNN. They make mistakes all the time.
Author's Response: I absolutely hate finding typos in others writing. It frustrates me but I do know what you mean. English is a difficult language in many ways. I just really hate my inability to edit grammar and spelling. Thank you though for the moral support d84;a039; It's much appreciated 😊
Date: 04/22/17 04:17 am Title: Chapter 1
For me, the biggest criticism is in the characters. Ed found the book, but nowhere in the story (that I remember) does it mention that he tried it himself. Then, after TG happens, Taylor somehow learns to use the book to perfection (and can literally know the truth always!) then Ed gets turned to a kid, becoming essentially useless and is replaced by other characters in importance. Thats like half the premise of the story to the bin.
Also, do know, that blue eyes is a recessive trait. You can google it up if you want, but the tldr version is that you can have blue eyes genes and still do not have blue eyes yourself. Also, and you probably already understand this, blue eyes is a Caucasian trait, so that might impact your world-building.
Author's Response: For a start thank you for criticising my story. It certainly helps my motivation to write. Secondly, with the genetics I was trying to say the blue eye gene is a side effect and not the actual gene that makes magic possible in the first place. I know I need to expand the explanation a little later on. Also the reason only Taylor figured out the book will be further explained but for now I'll say it recognised the magical potential and influenced her (him at the time) to read the spells in Latin which is why Edward couldn't do any spells as he couldn't read it nor had the magical gene potential. Also it's magic. The ultimate due ex machina. I know some aspects are silly but I'm having fun :,) Anyway thank you very much for the review!
Date: 04/21/17 12:16 pm Title: Chapter 1
needs one more time thru to edit. Found a spot were a 'not' is needed
Author's Response: Yeah I'm really sorry about that. I really need to get someone else to edit my work because ho ho holy s*** I'm terrible at editing. Thank you for the review in any case :)
Date: 04/18/17 07:13 am Title: Chapter 8
The ending... was funny. I didn't expect it for be honest and had to reread it to make sure I understood. Good read though, keep up the work! :3
Author's Response: Yeah sorry it's not as clear as id like it :/ I'm basically making Taylor get pay back but in a way that allows some other interesting plot developements ;)
Date: 03/19/17 04:48 pm Title: Chapter 7
I can't see why Taylor would start being mean to Ethan. Just a short while ago they were head over heels for one another and because neither of them really know how to progress a mistake was made. This really doesn't justify the current situation.
Also, the last sentence is hard to understand; that Taylor likes being female has been affirmed earlier but the way this is worded makes it seem like Ethan perhaps likes being a young girl. The point of view switch is what throws this part off.
As for the rest of this chapter, there were some grammatical mistakes (such as your being you're vice versa).
Author's Response: Thanks mate. I like people who do genuine reviews. I've always said I'm a terrible editor but I'll see what I can do :D
Date: 03/17/17 11:44 pm Title: Chapter 6
Oh my! Now something happened to our main character too! That's a dangerous spell though I mean now you got to buy the new child clothes, and toys and things. Hopefully you got a big bank account xD
Author's Response: Haha yeah now Taylor's getting payback but I mean why doesn't she just turn herself back into a guy? ;)
Date: 01/23/17 02:47 pm Title: Chapter 1
The last chapter felt rather rushed. Perhaps a bit more explanation as to why and how they were able to escape would be better.
Author's Response: Yeah I understand your grievance. Basically I got sick of trying to translate Latin phrases that made half sense so I made it that she could read Latin. They escape because she also found a spell for teleportation. The phrase that she says translates to this: Teleport to home
Date: 10/31/16 02:47 pm Title: Chapter 1
Saw your response about using a phone.... I've used my phone to type my stories up way before I joined TGST, so I know how it is...👍
Author's Response: Yeah pretty much :,) I'd like to imagine it's better than 50 shades which was written on a phone :P - Regards, Sheppard
Date: 10/31/16 11:29 am Title: Chapter 1
A good start. A little confusing after the transformation with the pronouns used for Taylor. Using both male and female pronouns in the same sentence like this one here. "She wanted to see what he looked like so she went into the rooms ensuite and pulled off his clothes." Use one or the other. I would of stuck with she after the transformation.
Author's Response: Ah cheers mate! Yeah I read through it like 5 times to fix all the pronouns... Evidently I'm not that good at editing :,) - Regards, Sheppard
Date: 10/31/16 03:23 am Title: Chapter 1
I definitely like this start. As Jacks-O-Lance said improve on the spacing, it's not too hard to read but it doesn't help it flow well. Looking forward to the rest.
Author's Response: Hello friend! Thank you for the feedback. I'm glad you like it :) My other stories have transformations as the focus so I'm trying to change this one to be more focused on the characters. We'll see how I go! - regards, Sheppard
Date: 10/30/16 11:30 pm Title: Chapter 1
An interesting start, but you have much to approve on. Your main problem is spacing and the lack of (properly spaced) paragraphs. Maybe get a proofreader? Up to you...
Author's Response: Hello friend! Ah yes that's a common complaint :/ I write this stuff on my phone so it's difficult to judge but I try my best. Though I agree I should probably make more clearly defined paragraphs. Probably double return so there's a gap between them - Regards, Sheppard