Date: 10/02/16 01:47 pm Title: Chapter 1
The story was good but the changes in the characters were difficult to keep up with.I had to read the story twice.Please don't confuse by switching jack with jim. It would have been better with pictures. But anyways good story I appreciate the effort. Make more stories like this.
Author's Response: Thanks friend! I didn't realise I had written Jack anywhere :/ I'm not a good editer unfortunally, I just don't have the patience. Also I didn't realise I could use pictures. I'll have a look into that! Many thanks, Sheppard
Date: 09/30/16 11:41 am Title: Chapter 1
I've always been a bit of a sucker for stories with a Jumanji-like plot device, so naturally I enjoyed this story. I think that it would improve a lot by just a bit of editing: there are some minor grammatical and phrasing issues that I found distracting. The transformations could be a little more descriptive, but all in all, a fun romp!
Author's Response: Thanks friend! I'm not a particularly good writer and an even worse editer so I thank you for your feedback. I will try to be better with the editing side in the future Many thanks, Sheppard
Date: 09/30/16 07:26 am Title: Chapter 1
Decent story. Felt a bit rushed and with John and Jim, it was a bit confusing to keep characters straight at times
Author's Response: Yeah it's not my best work. I did rush it a bit... Which evidently comes out in the writing :/ But thanks for reviewing for me! I do very much appreciate it