Date: 07/20/16 09:53 pm Title: Chapter 1
Incredibly underwhelming. Uninteresting characters, unbelievable dialogue choices, and overall this seems to be a story designed to satisfy your personal fetishes rather than to entertain others. Not to mention that it's nearly a carbon copy of every other story you've posted on this site. Your grammar is sloppy, your story is all over the place, and underdeveloped characterization. Either edit your stories much more extensively, or choose another pastime, because this isn't writing. It's vomiting words onto the page, and expecting praise. That's not how it works; you put in effort, you get recognition. You don't post every chapter as its own story, every story as a retelling of practically the same events, and every event as a boring plot point designed to fulfill your fetish. Step up your game, or step out of the game, because right now, you're striking out big time.
Date: 07/15/16 04:57 am Title: Chapter 1
I know you said "If you don't like it, then don't read it," like an arrogant sort of person rather than one able to take sound criticism, but there's a reason I keep checking in on your new "stories."
Unfortunately, they vary only in character names and precise situations. There's little to no variety in character personalities. Your "stories" create the conflict with no real resolution, only an ending that stinks as bad as the number one thing that seems to appear in them (diapers). Your grammar needs vast improvement. And your habit of posting multiple stories that should be chapters--though it seems you've done just one part here--is ridiculous.
These reviews you deem to label as "mean" are a simple criticism that needs to be said as you continue to flood TGS with your work. People like to see transformations and development on this site, especially the latter. Some of us hope to see your writing style develop and turn into something worthwhile, but it simply has not. That is not mean, and shouldn't be even to someone who is sheltered and a flower child (not that you are either, mind).
Please take this criticism to heart, and improve. For your own sake.
Date: 07/12/16 08:19 am Title: Chapter 1
Reading this, and a couple of your other stories, I can tell you have something against the English language.
Also, "75 other stories" is a bit of exaggeration when most of those are chapters that should be placed under the same story, you're just artificially inflating your story count, so you've probably got maybe 12 in total. Makes it seem like you're intentionally trying to get to the top of the Most Prolific Author list because you want a top spot, not because you actually write enough stories to make it there.
I'mma give you some friendly advice: Read the reviews you consider to be hurtful or rude a little more often, figure out what you're doing wrong. That's the point of the "feedback" you claim you want. You don't seem to respond to those reviews that often, and that tells me that you don't simply because you don't want to grow as an author, and that makes you a troll.
We come to this website for quality and you seem like you either hate quality or are afraid of it. Start learning from your mistakes and stop shoving them down people's throats expecting them to like it.
Date: 07/10/16 08:48 am Title: Chapter 1
I wanted to read this but I just can't get through the first line with so many errors in it. It badly needs to be edited. Here's the first line after five corrections:
"Mom, stop picking on me! How come you are always on my sisters side? You know I am going to be 18 tomorrow and I can move out anytime I want to.” Mommy looks at me strangely because how loudly I am talking.
We all like to share our work but it's just too distracting without editing. None of us are that good that we can just spew out thoughts without making it easy for someone to read them.