Date: 10/19/19 02:56 pm Title: Chapter Seven
Sad this story seems dead. Also just... wow. That reveal. Honestly Derek is a prick and he deserved to be turned into a tree or a cat or something for the rest of his life. Not hiring her because she's a woman? Die in a fire asshole
Date: 12/24/18 10:13 pm Title: Chapter Seven
Not bad at all. Would like to read more if you’re even still considering continuing the story. I’d like to see grammatical fixes and things are starting to move a little too fast for reality; regardless, it is well thought out and constructed pretty well.
Date: 10/01/17 02:32 am Title: Chapter Seven
Nice story. I like how you explained how he was feeling even though nobody could see him as a woman at first. Hope you continue this story as it seems you included pregnancy in the tags, but so far there was no scene where she gets pregnant.
I did notice too that there were numerous spelling errors too. Some words were completely off and didn't match what you intended. A minor glitch, but threw off the whole immersion in the story a bit.
All in all, love the story, would love to see further adventures
Date: 05/28/17 08:05 am Title: Chapter Seven
Nice story so far. As I am into women even after my transition I am now looking forward what is to come, even though I would pity Amir a bit, if he doesn't get rewarded for being so nice.
Author's Response: We shall have to see Amir again.
Date: 12/09/16 11:26 am Title: Chapter One
Ok, Im fairly convinced in the direction this story is going. From the realistic reactions of the MC, to the avoidance of the common pitfalls of the genre, this is turning to be a well rounded story.
Im looking forward to hear more about the nature of the magic of the world (such as, is it only applied once, then normal rules apply, or are things such as enchantments possible?), and Im specially eager to know more about Val herself, and how she feels, particularly after the reveal that *SPOILERS* she has already ruined two lives, and they are likely not going to be the last ones. Hell, the first one might be better off dead*/SPOILERS*. Still not completely sold on the Amir subplot though (why is he so attracted? Was he always like this?)
Keep it up, GJ.
Date: 06/22/16 10:31 pm Title: Chapter One
Been a reader for a while on the site, have never made an account or posted a review till now. I am really enjoying this story quite a bit. Enjoy the details and perspective is a interesting spin on dealing with a body alter. Keep up the good writing.
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I hope the wait for the next chapter was ok.
Date: 06/22/16 11:18 am Title: Chapter One
I'd love to see a rewritten version. It just needs another draft I think. There are a few typos scattered throughout the chapter as well.
Previously while the whole curse thing was very subtle. But in this chapter it's suddenly alot more active, e.g a bright flash of light. (right now I'm imagining him kissing Amir as a guy but discovering that his body changed to match, without him noticing, when he opens his eyes.) also Amir's reaction is kind of tame.
I really like val's little freak out when she arrives. She's the one familiar with magic but her reaction is way more extreme than Amir's.
Besides the sudden pregnancy, which I really don't get. The bit after val arrives could use a slow down. Explaining what Jason's feeling more. Just a few tweaks really.
Sorry for the long review I called the tmc.procratination(tgStoryTime);
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. Overall I think you're right and it should be tweaked.
Date: 06/22/16 10:00 am Title: Chapter One
At first I felt sorry for Val, but the fact she didnt even let anyone finish their sentences in her interview, or let the main character explain (as I believe he was going to) that people dont spend long in QA and that she would be doing the work she wanted to do within a few weeks just shows how immature she is.
Compoud that with the assumptions she made, and what she did to the main character and frankly she doesnt deserve a good job.
Date: 06/09/16 12:10 am Title: Chapter One
This is turning to be pretty interesting indeed. Some early thoughts below.
You know, i have read a share of these kind of stories in the past, and they end up either totally ignoring the morality of the act of transforming/cursing someone (would have been pretty ass even against the boss), or totally justifying it ("i know what im doing, this is for the best for you!"). I hope you can explore the ethics of the act, whether she can atone or do something about it, etc.
Something else that is rarely touched upon is the act itself, the magic. It is generally hand-waved as a (practically) all-powerful hereditary thing. How can she do this? What is the extent of what she can do? Did she really wanted to target him, with this specific effect? Or it just happened? Perhaps it may have a bigger purpose?
Anyways im looking forward to this story. Keep it up ;).
Author's Response: Well the ethics needs to match the characters, that's most important to me. The next chapter is taking longer for me because I'd like to get some of these things right. As for magic, can you say deus ex fabula ;-)
Date: 06/07/16 02:27 pm Title: Chapter Three
This is a fantastic idea, and well-executed. Loved the gym scene and the sequence when the curse first hits. The fact that he is not actually female but feels as if he is makes this story that much hotter for some reason. And it allows for the focus to be on the physical disequilibrium, which is usually my favorite part of these stories anyway. Can't wait to see where this goes next!
Author's Response: So glad you've enjoyed it so far. It's been good to write.
Date: 06/05/16 05:56 am Title: Chapter One
I'm interested. There are a few Present Tense and grammar error snuck in there though, might save some time and trouble for describing particular situation but you have to be careful. They are absolutely crucial to advance the plot and draw in the audience.
I'll rate it when I see it.
Author's Response: I messed up a few tenses, I wish this site had community editing features.