Reviews For Babying Rory...
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Reviewer: LoveFox Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/21/16 10:37 pm Title: Chapter 1 - The Family meeting

Please continue.

Reviewer: Cashmere Chloe Signed star Report
Date: 05/04/16 07:09 pm Title: Chapter 1 - The Family meeting

It seems to be missing a plot or motivation for what's going on. I could see the potential, but not much a story here.

Reviewer: Viper61277 Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 05/01/16 03:10 pm Title: Chapter 1 - The Family meeting

I see you like to do research too. I've read a few stories and then with help from a trusted friend and came up with Little Boy-Girl. By the was what name do you use on BC.

Reviewer: BalletBoyJamie Signed star Report
Date: 04/29/16 02:02 pm Title: Chapter 1 - The Family meeting

I like the concepts of your stories. They seem pretty cool.

However, when I read them, it is kind of like reading a shopping list, or an itemized report. I think you really need to stop introducing huge lists of characters and just concentrate on a couple. People can't keep up with 5 new brothers every third paragraph.

So far, your stories read like a book-report of a different story. Move beyond just telling, step-by-step, what happened; instead, tell little vignettes of details within the story, and let us readers piece together the full tale.

I can't rate your story more than a 1 because really, dude, they just have too many names of people that are extraneous to the story and too little incidental detail.... and too much 'listing' of events.

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