Date: 10/16/17 07:15 am Title: Not Left to Fate
Its really a great plot, and enjoyed the couple if life lessons that was installed for Nelson. Cody fell in a trap but she's a master and now what she want. I also had he idea that she figured Nelson very quickly, and she played him well.
The opening of the story was a bit spoiled by throwing too much of the plot in out laps, and it seemed you were hasty to get on with the story. The events in the first chapter could have been related much better, as a sequence of events rather than a dump. I only really get caught up into the story after the 4th chapter.
Around the middle of the story, after Clarissa's journey with Rhett, there story died off, a sort of anti-climax on top of all, and it took two chapters to really pick up in intensity. You should have used some of the minor characters or maybe Nelson to keep up the intensity, as Clarissa went through her anti-climax.
For me Nelson was too passive in the first half of the story, but yes he had a goal and wasn't really working at it. He could also have participated to keep tensions up throughout the story.
Keep going, I really enjoy your writing.
Author's Response: Thanks again. The whole series (you read The Boss's Coffee) was an early one for me. Looks like you're just getting going with my work. Given your thoughtful feedback and how I think you like to see a story presented, try Desire Oasis (Sci Fi) or All in for Charity or Collienti 37s. Those are more recent and, I hope, will scratch whatever itch you may have without some of the distractions of my earlier work. Oh, and look for Hazed, the one I'll publish next. I'm quite eager to see what you think of that one!
Date: 10/12/16 12:22 am Title: Hello, Nora
Great story! I liked the different character's stories. For a while there I was feeling sorry for Nora, despite Nelson's misdeeds, but I guess she was happy in the end. I also felt a bit bad for Emma, who probably could have had something great if she wasn't so hurtful.
Author's Response: I liked having multiple characters in this one (most stories just have one main character). Glad you were able to appreciate them. Thanks for the review!
Date: 05/08/16 03:30 am Title: Not Left to Fate
I can't even begin to tell you how much I love this story. It's well structured. It's well written. The dialogue is great. It is honestly one of the best stories I've read in years.
You are really doing a great job with this story while still finding time to juggle two or three other fantastic stories -I think you are awesome.
I can't wait to see where this is going. * I have some idea, but I want to see what happens.
And if you would ever like to trade ideas or anything please let me know. I have a couple that I think you'd be fantastic writing.
Author's Response: I'm so glad you like it. I've written about 40 complete stories and am editing and reformatting them for the site. Much more to come! As to Window, I liked writing about two very different experiences at once and that, coupled with a little revenge, made the whole thing pretty easy.
Date: 05/05/16 05:49 pm Title: Blowing it With Mr Wonderful
I know you end up punishing your characters in the end, but those few paragraphs where Nora is trying to convince Mike she likes boys, before the blowjob, that's some good, solid stuff.
Author's Response: Thanks. Actually, I noticed that too many of my posted stories include revenge. Geez, I just seem a little bitter or deranged! While I do think that makes for a fun story, it's not all that common in what I've been writing. I'm nearly done editing my all-time favorite (and longest) and it has none. Anyway, thank you for the kind words.
Date: 04/26/16 02:26 am Title: Can I see Him Again?
I hope Maria and Rhett are as nice as they seem. This is part of my fantasy in some ways. Nelson seems to be getting even more skeavy. Please don't let him hurt Clarissa.
Author's Response: I'm enjoying your enthusiasm as much as I liked writing the story!
Date: 04/23/16 11:53 am Title: A Perfect Fit
This was the best section yet. I loved imagining myself traveling down this path. i also secretly want someone like Nelson to be my master and become a very willing submissive toy. I do hope that Nelson becomes more connected as the story progresses. Let him train and mold her without becoming mean and uncaring. This has such a strong romantic core and I want to be able to enjoy this ride so much. Please continue.
Author's Response: I'm so glad you're enjoying it. I won't give the story away, but it completely written. I'm posting new chapters regularly. Given what you said, you might really enjoy The Boss's Coffee and Bottom's Up as well (they're in the same series).