Reviews For The Boss's Coffee
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Reviewer: LA Raven Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/12/18 03:31 pm Title: The Boss's Coffee

This is one of my early favorites of yours. The epubs don't generate properly, however. I think they do for the single chapters, but not for the entire book. Just this title.

Reviewer: Brioni Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/05/17 08:59 am Title: The Boss's Coffee

I was totally caught off-guard with this story, after having read "Bottom's Up". In general I did like the plot tremendously, and was caught by surprise of how far the 'revenge' had gone, to the point where revenge only seemed applicable to Maria. Her revenge actually backfired as Martin started really getting into he newfound role, driven absolutely crazy in seeking attention. This was also very important in his failure of being a 'boss'.

No for the downs: The theme of this story is totally in contrast with your first story, and as you referred people to your other books in this series when they disliked some of the scenes, I believe this story should probably not form part of this series.

Your paragraphing stays a problem as also noted by others: As guidance I would like to mention, that when the topic of focus changes, you should have a new paragraph, Don't mingle pure narration with dialog, and don't have two different subjects' dialogue in the same paragraph. Also, new time frames need new paragraphs, and always start a new time frame in the opening of the paragraph.

I've found you sometimes separate paragraphs dealing with the same topic. Tou also - a slipped I believe - have two subjects' dialogue in a single paragraph separated with a short relative narration, all in one paragraph and one sentence. You also started new timeframes in a continuation paragraph, and sometimes mention the new timeframe almost as an afterthought.

People read quite comfortable over minor grammatical and spelling mistake - that are also present in your narration, - but improper paragraphing makes your story very difficult to read.

Just one big blunder, - please attack me if I'm wrong, but Juan can't 'loan' Candice/Martin out, the have to 'lend' him out (with the purpose of use and the expectation of being returned).

Then as far as Maria's relation with HR is concerned, It's quite believable that she may have very good connections in HR, but when she relates all the HR decisions to her 'boss', almost as if she's the boss long before she's appointed, if got the facts slightly stuck in my throat. You should consider using a person with proper authority from HR to relate the decisions to Martin.

Please take this critique in a positive light, as I see everybody complaining about your paragraphing but no one actually offered constructive advice how you might correct that.

I'm in the process of reading the two last books in this series, keep on writing, as I want to keep reading an enjoying. Keep it up.

Author's Response: Thanks so much for the feedback. This is one of my first offerings and much of what you say represents problems I've since corrected. If you take a look at any of my new stories, you'll find that I've parsed paragraphs conventionally and cleaned up the presentation of the copy. I'll be looking for your reviews which, I hope, can just focus on the content instead of my sloppy editing! Thanks again!

Reviewer: jessicajax Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 05/25/16 11:44 pm Title: The Label

Very good read totally enjoyed it.

Author's Response: It was a little bit different but fun to write. Thanks!

Reviewer: Arisu Elementine Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/28/16 06:03 am Title: The Label

Well then O.o I know revenge is a dish best served cold but this story served it out colder than ice, I actually felt sorry for Candy and though it worked out in the end I couldn't say that I liked the result. Still the story was well written, even if it did make me feel rather uncomfortable at times, the lack of paragraphs makes it feel that the pace was rather fast though.

Author's Response: Thanks for the feedback. I think it would benefit from a re-write. I did, however, intend for this to be a cold one to balance the way I usually write.

Reviewer: EBacon94 Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/25/16 02:44 pm Title: Candy, Get Me a Coffee

I seem to have mixed feelings about this story. Don't get me wrong, it's a good read and very well written, it's just the plot seems a little to superficial if thats the correct use of that word. It's a great concept for a story but I don't like how you just turned him into a big breasted bimbo, that size is way to big. I also dislike how you keep refering to Juan as the "big mexican", if you want the reader to know that he is, infact a big mexican, just state it once when you initially describe him and let that be that, there is no need to keep bringing it up. Nethertheless i am enjoying this story and will continue to read :)

Author's Response: You're right about the bimbo part. This character is a little different for me and I wanted to try it out. You may like the others in this series more. Oh, and the "Mexican" thing comes back as the story progresses. Maybe I overdid it, but this is a revenge story and I wanted to emphasize that. I think your critique is accurate and, like I said, this was a different approach. Try Bottom's Up or Love and Money for stories that don't have these issues and thank you!

Reviewer: ftldrdl Signed Report
Date: 04/25/16 01:25 pm Title: Who's the Boss?

for some reason your story won't download. could you check it please?

Author's Response: Hmmm, it looks ok to me and I just had another review. If it's not working, maybe you should ask the site manager?

Author's Response: Hmmm, it looks ok to me and I just had another review. If it's not working, maybe you should ask the site manager?

Reviewer: ftldrdl Signed Report
Date: 04/23/16 02:40 pm Title: Candy, Get Me a Coffee

chapter 4 won't download. otherwise, great story. please keep it up.

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