Date: 03/30/16 04:08 am Title: Chapter 1: The Start
I'll make this quick as I can.
-Pacing is too fast.
-Needs more emotion. It's kinda lame... Add some tears, feelings, HATRED!!
-Illogical. Psychotic ex + fem-syringe makes for a really strange story
Otherwise, it's pretty good though it doesn't feel right for some reason.
Date: 03/28/16 07:47 pm Title: Chapter 2
I can't make up my mind as to how to review this story, despite there being a lot I want to say. So... I think I won't. I'll just leave the first two chapters uncritiqued and make up my mind about you in later chapters and later stories. But as a gesture towards having enjoyed the story nonetheless, and you being a new author, I'll give you 5 stars. Welcome to the world of authorship.