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Reviewer: Robin61 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 05/06/16 09:07 pm Title: Chapter 10 A Happy Ending For Everyone

you got to finish the story so we all can get hot over what going on

Reviewer: Lilchelly Signed Report
Date: 04/24/16 08:58 pm Title: Chapter 10 A Happy Ending For Everyone

Why do you keep referring to her with male pronouns?

Reviewer: Cashmere Chloe Signed starstarstar Report
Date: 04/12/16 04:56 pm Title: Chapter 1 Harry wins the jackpot on a slot machine

I know it can be cumbersome, but you should proofread more carefully. Some of the mistakes look like typos but others are more distracting (like mistaking "Boob's" as the plural form of "boob" - its "boobs," no apostrophe, no capital letter).
Maybe try to picture the conversations as a tool to make the dialogue more natural.
Try some basic web research on the products and procedures you're writing about. It's generally easy to find information that will make your writing more credible.

Reviewer: Robin61 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/12/16 01:02 pm Title: Chapter 10 A Happy Ending For Everyone

I do hope you keep write more of this stories. it been a great to read them

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/08/16 10:39 pm Title: Chapter 10 A Happy Ending For Everyone

Well done! I enjoyed the story.

Reviewer: 930310 Signed starstar Report
Date: 04/08/16 06:57 pm Title: Chapter 9 Finally, George gets his needed Surgery

I don't even know what to say. If George(tte) his having SRS, shouldn't she be referred to with female prononuns?
And this chapter is in need of proofreading. What is a "vigina"?

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 03/20/16 09:56 am Title: Chapter 9 Finally, George gets his needed Surgery

Short and to the point!

Reviewer: The Guy of the Internet Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 03/16/16 03:06 pm Title: Chapter 1 Harry wins the jackpot on a slot machine

Well, the chapter names are weird, but i like to think that adds to it.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 03/14/16 05:59 pm Title: Chapter 8 George tells his mother everything that has happened to him

Very nice!

Reviewer: Robin61 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 03/09/16 12:28 am Title: Chapter 7 George sucks on Harry's dick with his new palty lips

I hope you keep writing this story since is one of the best that I read

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 03/07/16 09:44 am Title: Chapter 7 George sucks on Harry's dick with his new palty lips

I knew it,the storyline is going well!

Reviewer: stienbeck Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 03/04/16 09:39 pm Title: Chapter 6 George gets horny again

It's soppy and unrealistic,but who cares it still is a lovely story.XXX F.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 03/02/16 10:24 am Title: Chapter 6 George gets horny again

Well he's getting closer to surgery!

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/25/16 11:36 pm Title: Chapter 5 George gets his first fuck from Harry

How many more chapters before they go for surgery?

Reviewer: Atomicreader Signed starstarstar Report
Date: 02/25/16 09:31 pm Title: Chapter 1 Harry wins the jackpot on a slot machine

Ok, I like this story a lot, but I have several problems with it.

One, the most aggravating one, is how your characters speak. Always saying each others names and always using similar exclamations. (OMG!), I'd advise putting a little more effort into the dialog, give each person their own voice instead of treating it as 'ok, there's some dialog that needs to happen now to move the story along, better get that out of the way'

Two, an extension of the first problem, the story just seems to somehow swim along, stuff happens without any seeming investment or involvement from the two main characters. That part where they were travelling was almost like that scene out of Wayne's World when they were playing with the Blue-screen. "OMG We're In France" "OMG, We're in Italy" "OMG, we're finished with the whole trip!" It's too obvious you're trying to skip through parts of the story you don't feel are important...authors do this, but there needs to be a little bit of effort, you can't just gloss completely over it.

Third, and this is something that's bothered me in more of your stories.

You keep referring to it specifically as plastic breasts and a plastic pussy...ok, fine. Plastic is not a material that, in my mind, can easily mimic human flesh...or at least if it did, it would be such a specialized and advanced type of plastic that it would probably be called something else.

Further, the way you keep bringing it up suggests that it's something of a fetish for you, or you find it particularly exciting that it's plastic (and not something else), if you did, you might vary your wording a little bit from time to time 'faux vagina, artificial pussy, imitation genitalia' etc. But you keep using the exact same wording, it comes off as obsessive and clumsy. If it's not a specific turn on for you (that it be plastic and not say latex, silicone, bio-adaptive carbon mesh, whatever), that suggests a bit of laziness.

Fourth...your characters don't really seem to have thoughts and feelings, they just go along with stuff, seemingly for no reason 'ok, I guess I'm having sex now, yay', that's not to say there aren't some subtleties, but you might want to flesh them out a bit more.

Still, fun story, look forward to more.

Reviewer: c_black Signed starstarstar Report
Date: 02/22/16 12:24 am Title: Chapter 4 Harry and George return home from their honeymoon

I really like this story and always forward to the updates. My one criticism is how much they call each by their names. Every conversation has their names in practically each sentence. It's not very realistic and a little distracting.

Reviewer: ElizahAT Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/19/16 06:19 am Title: Chapter 3 Harry and George get married on the ship

Very fun and entertaining. I just worried how long cam they keep this masquerade on until they are caught. Hopefully never.. heheehe :D

Reviewer: ElizahAT Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/19/16 05:37 am Title: Chapter 1 Harry wins the jackpot on a slot machine

Forgive me but I am taking this as a bit on a comedy side. Hell this is fun to read. hehehe ;)

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/19/16 01:09 am Title: Chapter 3 Harry and George get married on the ship

Nice!

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/15/16 10:02 am Title: Chapter 2 They buy George a pussy to wear

Well done,and it's getting interesting!

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/12/16 10:55 am Title: Chapter 1 Harry wins the jackpot on a slot machine

Very cute so far,I love to read more when you post it.

Reviewer: EBacon94 Signed starstarstar Report
Date: 02/12/16 10:24 am Title: Chapter 1 Harry wins the jackpot on a slot machine

Don't like to be that guy but the entire situation is very hard to believe. That with your formatting of every sentence getting it's own paragraph makes it annoying to read.

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