Reviews For Girl Unraveled
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Reviewer: cemma2035 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/18/16 09:32 am Title: Unravel

A long read but so worth it

Reviewer: ElizahAT Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/16/16 09:08 pm Title: Naked

What a beautiful story. I am not sure whether the drastic changes including the drastic male genital atrophy and fast breast growth, but the rest plots all seems realistic.
In my opinion, this is a very good example to get peoples to open their eyes and be nice towards other people who are 'different'.
Thank you so much for this wonderful story.
(Please forgive my poor english. It is my second language.)

Reviewer: ElizahAT Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/16/16 08:38 pm Title: Sex

Beautiful. Just beautiful.

Reviewer: ElizahAT Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/16/16 07:35 pm Title: Conceive

Another great and well written chapter. You really got all the important details in here.
Casey should tell his mom soon for help.
I really love this story.

Reviewer: ElizahAT Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/16/16 12:13 pm Title: Develop

This story really rocks. The vivid details really pull me into it. I believe it must have come close to the realistic experience from a person borned hemaphrodite.
Great chapter.

Reviewer: Pablo Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/16/16 09:32 am Title: Naked

Okay, that's a wrap for me. Thanks for posting it. Now I'm going to tell you how much I liked it: ubougie mentioned the story could be read at fictionmania. I found it there yesterday. I was tempted to read the last two chapters there, and not wait for you to finish posting it here. But I didn't. But I did pull it up. It's exactly the same, near as I can tell. That's how much I couldn't wait to get to the end of it. And getting to the end was worth it. I just wish, Skye hadn't got pregnant, that being her first time. I'd read somewhere once, a girl might get a break on the first go round and not get pregnant, but that might just be wishful thinking on the part of whoever said it. Still, I wish she hadn't; she could have used more time to get used to now being female. Oh well. Thanks again.

Reviewer: ElizahAT Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/15/16 03:33 pm Title: Dream

This is really emotional wrecking chapter. A real hormone mess up. I feel more anger buoldup for Casey's late father now.

Author's Response: Dream was perhaps one of the hardest chapters for me to write, a lot of things are happening here.

Reviewer: ubougie Signed Report
Date: 02/14/16 11:10 pm Title: Unravel

Oh another thing is that because it was marked as complete before all the chapters were posted, people didn't see updates whenever a new chapter was posted. That probably has a whole lot to do with it too.

Reviewer: ubougie Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/14/16 11:00 pm Title: Unravel

I've been wondering why this hasn't gotten much feedback (compared to other stories of this caliber). I pushed hard to bring JacksorBetter to this site, and frankly I thought there would be a lot more reviews and positive feedback. I have three theories:
1) Since this story already exists on fictionmania, most people have already read the story there.
2) The chapters are not at the optimal size. I think 500-2000 words is a good target for a chapter size on this site to ensure people will read it (the first release can be closer to 2000 words or multiple chapters because some people give instant low ratings if they feel the first release is too small).
3) Maybe it is a timing thing.
Anyway, JacksorBetter, I suppose thousands of reads is not nothing, and probably with more familiarity of how to post to this site, that basically comes from either continuing to post here or reading other stories posted here, you'll learn the tricks to becoming a top author. You've been favorited by me, that's for sure.

Reviewer: jcarson Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/14/16 05:08 pm Title: Unravel

I'm enjoying this hope to see more.

Reviewer: Pablo Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/14/16 05:03 pm Title: Develop

It's a shame the other clowns on the site are not reviewing this for you. They should. I like it very much, probably because in this tale the character possess that rare phenomena of being duel sexed at birth, leaving the direction his/her "gender" will go to be revealled as he/she ages. It's not always a given the child will profile as female, but Casey's natural orientation in that direction and his /her gradual realization she's a girl is what for me drives the plot. I await the moment the undeniable truth of what "she" really is hits her.

Reviewer: Pablo Signed Report
Date: 02/14/16 08:09 am Title: Unravel

I haven't read them yet (the next two newly posted chapters) but am looking forward to do so. Again, I like your story, but seeing as how no one (noteven Joe, the site owner-- who should) has said this, I guess it's left to me to do so. It is not necessary to highlight the "Completed Story" just to post what you already have finished. Where it says "Story Incomplete" or "Completed Story" it is there to desiginate whether your story is done or not. You are making this situation-- as you are choosing to interprete it-- very confusing. Do us all a favor, flip the designation back to "Story Incomplete" and watch what happens (and doesn't happen).

Reviewer: Pablo Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/13/16 09:11 am Title: Dream

It was good as far as it went. Casey's gradual discovery that his onset of puberty was not moving correctly into proper male development (the gradual reveal to him that he wasn't exactly male) was interesting. A character's growth arc as the story unfolds is always what makes a good story compelling. You quit it just as it was beginning to unfold. This story seems very much like you needed to end the saga, kind of like the creator of a TV series who knows his show will not be renewed at season's end, and he doesn't want to just stop, leaving all the story plots unresolved. So he just writes a series finale episode, so viewers (readers) know he did the best he could to not leave them hanging. You did that. But Casey's story arc is far from fully delineated (told). Also, the Story Notes at the end of Chapter One say "Chapter 1 of 6”. I’m tempted to believe you meant to take this story farther and then decided to just . . . not.

Author's Response: Read the note on Chapter 1... there are 6 chapters in total of which I've posted 2 so far. I know the tag "completed" makes it seem like everything will be posted all at once but it does take a while to re-edit and submit everything to the site. Trust me, the story isn't done yet and gets better from here.

Reviewer: ElizahAT Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/12/16 12:24 am Title: Unravel

I am nailed to this story. Very sad that his father is an idiot, putting him through that procedure. Fortunately the good doctor is clever enough to the least damage possible and ensure Casey female part unintact. Great plot. Keep it going please.

Reviewer: ubougie Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/11/16 10:25 pm Title: Unravel

So happy to see this. :)

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