Date: 09/05/18 05:31 am Title: Finale
The whole story was dark, deep but dark and cruel in a good way for the writing, bad for my feelings, the moment they both kissed was totally unexpected to me and i began thinking they'd finally get something good happen to their lifes, then the mother dies and their friend aswell, they break up and somehow i feel like Em really broke at some point, an epilogue would have been awesome before marking this one as complete since the ending as such left a lot flying with no resolution. Overall it was an interesting read, didn't expect that gamethroning on the last chapters and no real ending.
Date: 07/01/18 10:33 pm Title: Finale
Is there a follow up to this story. Like I feel like there should be more closure. Like Emily and Sarah and the kids moving on. Sarah and Emily getting married and making love for the first time. Like this is really dark, like a chapter to really close this out. Or a sequel would rock. Thanks
Date: 04/21/17 01:48 am Title: Prologue
I didn't mean to be rude. My mother language isn't English, so it may sound maybe a bit harsh. I apologize for that. You're talented, the plot was good, but the plot just doesn't satisfied the tags you chose truly.
Author's Response: Fair enough. I'm sorry that it didn't meet all of your expectations, but I hope you were able to find some measure of enjoyment out of it, at least
Date: 04/16/17 06:30 pm Title: Prologue
I don't know what you're talking about, but in that chapter there was none. Nearly or attempted rape is no rape. It was such a killer that it was just a boring attempt, I had a lot of hope into this story when I began reading it. Sadly nothing thrilling ever happened in the whole plot.
Author's Response: I'm not going to apologize for not explicitly describing every instance of r*** in the narrative of the story. I really only felt comfortable alluding to it and showing the effects of it on the characters it happened to (Sarah, for example). I'm sorry that you feel that "nothing thrilling ever happened in the whole plot", I hope that another story of mine or a story I write int he future will be more enjoyable for you.
Date: 04/08/17 03:58 am Title: Finale
I can't believe I've been reading this story for 2 years and now it's over, please give this one a good ending they deserve it.
Author's Response: Thank you for reading for so long! I hope that I haven't disappointed you thus far, and that you won't be disappointed by the conclusion!
Date: 12/06/16 01:24 am Title: Prologue
I'm very glad to see this tale back again, although it's one of the most consistently bleak, dark and dystopian I've read. It is very well written though and the quest for justice is compelling. And I hope that whatever travails you've been experiencing yourself have now been resolved.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed
Date: 07/26/16 05:44 pm Title: Decision
Wait what?! What the fudge?! After all that, a small sliver of hope and then ripped away again? You really like to be the epitome for the old adage "abuse your characters till they cant move, then hit them again." XD
But seriously wow... oh no no no at least scarface is dead but what about Josiah? Oh jeez I feel it's about to get a lot worse...
Author's Response: Well, you know what they say, "a safe character is a boring character". Wait, no, I'm the only one who says that. Ah, well. Thanks for reading!
Date: 07/10/16 02:26 am Title: Prologue
I know this is just a story, but this chapter made me literally cry and shake in anger. I can't want for Scar to get what he's got coming to him.
Thank you for the update
Author's Response: Your tears of sorrow fuel me. (In actuality, I'm sorry! But things have been going pretty well for Emily the past 5 or so chapters and all good things must come to an end. Sad times aren't over quite yet. There's still more sorrow in store. I'm glad you enjoyed/didn't enjoy. Thanks for reading!)
Date: 07/01/16 08:33 pm Title: Dance
*SQUEALS* OMG IT"S SO CUUUUTEEEE!! Your cutest chapter yet 10/5 stars!!!
Author's Response: Thank you very much! I'm glad you enjoyed the happiness for now; unfortunately, it won't be lasting forever. But that's for another day; I'm happy that you enjoyed the chapter!
Date: 07/01/16 12:16 pm Title: Prologue
Love these long stories with this particular age group. I don't usually like stories that involve sex with little children but it was different for this one. Wish there were more as good as this one is turning out to be.
P.S. I like your main characters name. ;) hehehe
Author's Response: Thanks for your review! I've tried to skirt as far away from the sex aspect of the story as possible, but in order to tell the tale that I'm telling, it was necessary to have certain characters act in certain ways, and go through certain tragic events. I'm glad you've been enjoying!
Date: 06/24/16 03:08 pm Title: Trial
Welp, it's a wonder how that man managed to escape. Bite a chunk of someone's neck off, holly crap! Gotta hand a little credit to our favorite villain cuz he damn sure deserves some. Josiah is a dangerous man with connections and families, it'll be a tough nut to crack indeed...This is why I love fiction, you could pull a false happy end and then weep out another joker immediately afterward.
Author's Response: Thanks for reading! Putting false-happpy-moments in is one of my favorite things to do while writing. Nothing quite as fun as keeping readers constantly on their toes when it comes to your stories. Thank you so much for your review
Date: 06/19/16 07:31 pm Title: Trial
Oh my Goddess he escaped... How did they miss those ones? This is bad this is BAD. no no no no why couldn't someone just have took him out back and shot him!!!!
Author's Response: Josiah has more followers than just the ones from the Community. His reach extends pretty far into the 'criminal underworld'.
Date: 06/12/16 03:27 pm Title: Media
Sarah's a little badass! She put that asshat reporter right in her place!!!
When is the next chapter due? Hopefully not too much longer!
Author's Response: I'm doing my bet to get it out as soon as possible. Over the summer, I'm expecting to be able to get out updates more frequently. Thank you for your review! I'm glad you're enjoying!
Date: 05/29/16 07:13 am Title: Media
Typical conservative douchebags. It's no wonder they'd say something that horrible to CHILDREN who experienced irreversible invasive surgery, not to mention the horrific r*pes they faced. (For Sarah anyway) Like seriously lady, go fuck yourself with a blender. (Saying that to Cynthia not you, you're a great writer :D)
Author's Response: With a blender? Wow. Thanks for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed!
Date: 04/27/16 02:46 pm Title: Family
I keep hoping it ends here (not because you're a bad writer, you aren't. You're an awesome writer.) because I'm terrified of what will happen next. Please oh please let this kid get some peace! (you don't have to listen to me, I'm essentially just praying to the gods, not asking you to change anything or anything. You just keep being awesome and I'll read :D)
Author's Response: Well, I'm not sure if you'll like this or dislike it, but I've still got quite a bit more story left to tell. Some of it is light and happy, but others... well, the storm clouds have receded, but they're still on the horizon. For now, though, I hope you enjoy the merriment!
Date: 04/27/16 02:42 pm Title: Family
So Liberators did spare the kids after all, funny, always thought the 2nd chapter was somewhat bizarre but I'm sure of hell didn't expect this...Whatever, it'd be better if their motive is kept in the dark, so far everybody hates them to an extend and it would leave a bad taste for our heroine's reunion if any of the sinister crap I mentioned earlier happened. There is more to this, yeah? Carry on!
Author's Response: Yeah. I never meant to imply that the kids were killed; in the second chapter, they show Ethan a news report of his siblings being freed. Josiah lied about what had been done to them manipulate Ethan, and make him more malleable to his goals. There is more to the story about Lily and Thomas with the Liberators, but that's for another time. This isn't the time for any more darkness in the story; At least, not presently.
Date: 04/27/16 01:20 am Title: Family
Having Sarah be the one who brought the authorities back to take down the cult was pretty good. I kept worrying that the cult would grab Emily again because she is first successful transformation. I imagine that could still happen though.
Author's Response: All of the cult members are currently in custody, so them recapturing Emily would be fairly difficult. At least for now. Thank you for reading!
Date: 04/24/16 04:31 am Title: Free
I actually stopped reading when I saw it was just getting worse and worse. Turns out I stopped at the good and I binge read all the last few chapters.
Author's Response: Yeah, the darkness is over, at least for the time being. I'm glad that you decided to come back! I'm glad that you've enjoyed
Date: 04/23/16 05:02 pm Title: Prologue
And.....breathe. Yet another terrific chapter. And I can see now why it isn't the finale, which remains full of intriguing possibilities. Great stuff.
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad you've been enjoying this story so far
Date: 04/23/16 11:59 am Title: Free
Little precious sunflowers now have finally seen the morning after the seemingly endless night. And you are right, the story cannot end yet. There's still the whereabouts of Ethan's siblings and I'm expecting good news!
Author's Response: Thank you! I'm glad that you've been enjoying the story.
Date: 04/23/16 03:40 am Title: Free
Wow... freedom... just wow that they both survived. I know it's a long shot but I hope they find Emily's previous family. I'll eagerly await what's next but it seems like the worst is over... or at least I hope it is.
Author's Response: Thanks for your review! I'm glad that you're enjoying the story so far
Date: 04/18/16 12:46 am Title: Prologue
At last a little light, and a little illumination, in a different sense, also. The next - and final? - instalment will be fascinating. Great writing as always.
Author's Response: Thanks! The next chapter will most certainly not be the final one, though. I've still got quite a bit more story that I'd like to tell, before this is all said and done. I'm glad you enjoyed, and thank you for the review!
Date: 04/17/16 03:25 pm Title: Confrontation
Ahhhhhh YEAHHH...I think I came a little reading through this chapter. In all seriousness though, a damn shame I didn't get to see a smile between the confrontation! Emily loses her grip in life, Michael and Sarah on the blink of death...But hey! We actually got something nice for a change. More chapters soon?
Author's Response: I'll try to get the next chapter up soon. Thank. You for your review! I'm glad that you enjoyed!
Date: 04/15/16 05:55 am Title: Despair
I have been away for too long, and boy do I expect this to happen. So if Sarah is the first one then what keeps Josiah from running his experiments to the other boys in town? Biology reason?
Author's Response: Josiah's experimentation on Sarah was his first attempt to see if he could create a girl. His obsessive need to feel in control guided him to this action. After Sarah was unable to fulfill all of the duties that Josiah had wished, he brought in Emily. Josiah can't begin tests on his own people, because he doesn't know if every experiment will be a success. If it's going to be a colossal failure that results in a child's death, he would rather it be a stranger to the citizens of the Community rather than one of their own children.
Date: 04/07/16 08:57 pm Title: Storm
I literally check this site 20 times a day looking for an update to this classic masterpiece.
Author's Response: Sorry! I've been super busy recently, and I've also had some pretty bad writer's block. I know that I've left you guys hanging after the last chapter. Hopefully another chapter will be up soon; writer's block sucks, but I'm pushing through
Date: 03/21/16 07:42 am Title: Storm
... Sarah no... ;-;
Those MONSTERS! They deserve to have their arms and legs sawed off with a rusty blade, their flesh flayed from their bones and their body bathed in acid!!! DIE IN A FIRE YOU WORTHLESS PIECES OF SHIT!
This is too sad, so sad ;-;
Author's Response: Wow, that's a violent death that you've wished upon the . Not saying that they don't deserve it, but just... wow. Than, you for reading. I'm sorry about this terribly sad chapter. I promise, in a few chapters things will start to get better. Until then, though, Emily has a few more hardships to endure.
Date: 03/06/16 11:45 pm Title: Prologue
I'm finding this story genuinely disturbing and distressing, as it's so hard to discern any way out. That's not a bad thing, by the way. Fiction shouldn't just be about thrills and happy endings,
Author's Response: Yeah, I know that right now it looks bleak, but I promise you that eventually, the sunlight will shine over the dreary land that these characters tread in. Up until that point, though, I can't say much more. I'm glad that you're enjoying the story. I hope to continue to entertain you with the chapters yet to come as well!
Date: 03/06/16 06:06 am Title: Experiment
You have looking forward to the next chapter, I like how you are not rushing things and still getting the story told.
Author's Response: I glad you enjoyed! I really have a good time writing these, and I still have a hell of a lot of story left to tell. I've got a basic outline of story points I want to reach before the story is over, and right now, I have barely made a spent in it. Hopefully, I can get out the next chapter out soon..
Date: 03/06/16 04:00 am Title: Experiment
Oh God... it's even worse than I thought. How the fudge does he plan to do that? The kid doesn't have a womb... what the heck is this guy going to do to this poor kid?! OMG someone please kill Josiah, and everyone that helps him with this too! These poor kids are being twisted beyond imagination...
Author's Response: Yeah, like Sarah said, Josiah is not right in the head. He thinks that by his will alone, he can bend the human genome to fit his wishes. It all ties badpck to his overly inflated ego; he thinks he can do anything, because for the entirety of his life, he's been allowed to do everything. Thank you for reviewing, and I hope you enjoyed!
Date: 02/15/16 11:48 pm Title: Prologue
Hmm. It's just that I personally feel as if the characters hardships are being pushed through my throat just for the sake of giving the character a hard time. I don't mind dark stories with sad things in it, but it could have been more subtle. For example not just mentioning 'that x is happening', but hinting at the occurance of 'x', by describing characteristics, causes or anything else x related. That way it feels less forced and ultimately makes it more effective.
Author's Response: Thanks for your review. In the future, I will make an attempt to make things more subtle, if that's an issue that people are taking. Thank you for your advice!
Date: 02/14/16 11:24 am Title: Promise
OMG I thought maybe you stopped this story. I'm glad you continued. Just wow... I knew it I KNeW she was in the same boat! Ugh... how can these monsters do this to children?! Just ugh UGH, I really hope they get what they deserve! EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM!
Author's Response: Don't worry, recompense will arrive soon. But before that, a bit more hardship must befall the characters. I hope to have another chapter up soon; I can't wait to share more of the story with you.
Date: 02/14/16 12:08 am Title: Dreams
I really like the setting of the story. It really pulls you in. It sometimes seems a bit 'too' dramatic, though. As if it's trying too hard to be tragic and sad. But nevertheless a really interesting read!!
Author's Response: Thanks for your review! I'm glad that you're interested, and I hope to continue to entertain you with my future chapters as well. If you don't mind me asking, where do you feel I've been trying to be 'too' dramatic? I'm simply curious, and I'm always open to constructive criticism. Thanks again!
Date: 01/31/16 02:27 pm Title: Dreams
Nice to see the kids are actually having fun, hearing Ethan joked around the school "teacher" and "discipline" is kind of a refreshing change of pace. I like that. Gave off a tiny flame of passion inside that delicate body of his. I want to see it grow into a big fire, an energetic blaze to blow everything against his path away.
Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed the chapter! While the Community took nearly everything from Emily, the one thing she keeps is Ethan's personality, and, as you said, she is beginning to express that again. Thanks for the review!
Date: 01/30/16 01:40 pm Title: Dreams
Awesome chapter 😘
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad I'm entertaining you so far! I hope that this remains the case in the future!
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm glad I'm entertaining you so far! I hope that this remains the case in the future!
Date: 01/30/16 06:05 am Title: Dreams
Oh no, it's okay. You haven't done anything like that. Oddly enough... this story is... healing for me. I don't know why but.... thank you. I just wish the rest of my family could escape it too but sadly with cults, it's as much a physical prison as a prison of the mind...
This chapter... oh no... I get the feeling Michael is off somehow. I don't know for sure yet but omg!!
Author's Response: This for the review! I glad that you're enjoying this story. As for your spectulaton about, I can say that there are aspects of his character that haven't been revealed yet. But to give those away here would diminish from his character fed arc, so I'll leave it there. I hope I can continue to entertain you with new chapters in the future!
Date: 01/26/16 12:59 am Title: Prologue
It's still very powerful writing, but relentlessly downbeat. I hope that the occasional glimpses of hope will start to blossom sometime soon! But it is excellent and quite unsettling, which I like.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm aware that the writing is very desolate and depressing at the current point the story, but unfortunately so is the protagonist's situation at the moment. If all things go well, Ethan's story should be getting better sometime soon. But unfortunately in my stories, happy endings can be elusively hard to find.
Date: 01/25/16 01:36 am Title: Prologue
I don't get why people are having trouble believing this is possible. Ever heard of Westboro baptist church? I wasn't from that denomination but that is a popular cult people know about. I was raised in a Christian Cult and although it wasn't as horrible as the one in this story, I can assure you people really will follow like sheep because they fear hell and will do or believe anything they are told.
I escaped mine, (I was one of the few who recognized it for what it is, sadly... my family hasn't escaped it and... doesn't want to but that's depressing so I'll stop talking about that) and that's probably why I'm flipping out so much on this story. It's very triggering but I really hope these cultists get their comeuppance. The horrors they are doing to these children... cutting off their arms and legs and bathing them in acid would be too good for them.
Author's Response: Thanks for your review. I'm sorry that you've had to go through so much. I can't imagine how hard that must have been for you. I apologize if this story drudges up some bad memories for you.
Date: 01/21/16 04:28 am Title: Hope
Fill me in on this banishment trip.
Author's Response: I can't exactly give away that information right now. Sorry, but it may or may not play a role later in the story. If I go giving away all of my secret plot twists and future storyline ideas, then this wouldn't be a very fun story to read.
Date: 01/21/16 04:19 am Title: Prologue
Promised land, greenery, crap like that...You think I should wish someone from outside to try and destroy it? No, you don't think so, you know so. After all, the villain is working hard to piss on everybody's cornflakes including the readers and so far, you've made your point across. Completely isolation so the decay should start right inside if you planned to spare Ethan. Go beyond that point, end of story. And the quickest way IMO is sticking a damn torch up their ass.
And to you, I sincerely apologize if my message came out somewhat wrong. That's my way to compliment some author, relating them to the main topic of their story.
The Community being a shithole to load the duffers? Elementary stuff. Faith is crazy and waste of time hating on them when I got nothing good myself. That clears up enough for you?
Author's Response: Yeah, I get what you're saying. Unfortunately, the Community is still going to be functioning for a while. Don't worry; in due time, all of the monsters within the walls will get their just punishments for their atrocities.
Date: 01/20/16 05:21 am Title: Prologue
They'd better behave themselves better then, it's not really a good idea to pull sadistic stunt like questioning jury out in the open. A little privacy keeps disclosure away.
...I really should get start on wishing terrible things to them. I'm throughly convinced the Community is a man-child landfill for twats, which is very sad cuz they don't deserve anything bad happen to them, they really don't. The Community is like a santuary to them and I'm sure to you too.
Still wondering why no one has yet to torch the damn place.
Author's Response: I'm not sure what you're trying to say. You mention that you should start hating the members of the community, but that the village is a "man-child landfill for twats", and that they don't deserve anything bad to happen to them. You also say that the Community is like a sanctuary to the villagers, and that it's like that for me, too. I'd be happy to try and clear up any misconstrued intentions within my writing, but I can't answer a question I don't understand.
Date: 01/19/16 06:42 am Title: Guilty
"Nice, Josiah. That'll score you point with the kids."
Gotta admit, this has gotten very sad and darker than I thought it would be. Sex cult in the wood, delusional fantasy and absolute isolation. You know? I kinda think it rather strange while none of that crap never got caught on satellite. What century is this story set on anyway?
Author's Response: The story is set in modern day. The community is visible on satellite, but to sattelite, it just looks like a private community in the middle of nowhere. And like you said, it's absolute isolation. The nearest town's police are aware of the community's existence, but they have no idea of what's going on inside the community walls. They can't just invade the village without reasonable intelligence that there are crimes going on, and they don't have any reason to suspect anything like that. The Community is private property, bought by Josiah's father, and owned by Josiah.
Date: 01/16/16 07:06 am Title: After
OMIGOD! OF course the cult sees girls as nothing but sex. Oh God this is so gross someone please kill these bastards!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I hope that I can continue to keep you entertained with future updates. Yeah, the cult is full of some pretty f*cked up people. Hopefully Ethan will be able to free himself from these people, and make them pay for their crimes. However, only time will tell if he's able to survive long enough to make that happen.
Date: 01/15/16 06:47 am Title: Change
I am just gonna assume that most of the collected children were from goodwill sources like from orphanages and only a few have to pull their skins through the change, looking at the way you're describing the Prophet anyway, faith and belief are crazy, too weak to keep a solid grudge against the man. Either that or he's the real crook behind Liberator's influence, hiding in plain sight commiting wrongdoings in the name of his Community, which is a pretty fucked up rathole to begin with.
The kids are still at the age to wear their backpacks to school, I'm kinda curious what idea they're going to share with others. Keep it up!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I'm glad that you're enjoying my story so far. I'm excited to continue sharing Ethan's story with you. I have a lot of of fun writing these chapters, so I hope to have another one out soon.
Date: 01/14/16 05:16 pm Title: Change
I find it interesting that the character has difficulty blaming Josiah. The prophet is the head of a cult that supports and cooperates with an organization that executes brutal torture and kidnapping. By not condemning, they are condoning.
I'd have no moral hangups with exterminating every member of that cult, as one would an infestation of roaches. Something like that, people and organizations that condone those actions have no place in civilized society and should be removed. Perhaps your character has a stricter moral compass than I.
Regardless, fantastic story thus far.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! As for why Ethan finds it difficult to blame Josiah, that's part of his morality. Ethan is a faithful person; he's forgiving, he believes in redemption, and he believes that everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt. But this strong moral compass may prove to weaken over time. Especially under times of distress. I'm glad that you've enjoyed so far. It means the world to me that you called this a fantastic story. I really appreciate that. I hope that I can continue to entertain you in the future with more updates!
Date: 01/12/16 03:10 am Title: Prophet
Those crooks got the direct order to go that far?!! Goddamn...poor kid is in the wrong community, didn't even leave him any road to take.
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I hope you enjoyed what I've written so far, and that took stick around for the future updates!
Date: 01/12/16 01:32 am Title: Welcome
Guess that's one way to put it, I could have been more polite too. Now let's be serious. As far as I'm concern, the detail is both well described and vague, somewhat works for a first person perspective for readers who also want to uncover everything you want to convey. So, scrape up some thoughts for the other side of the story, the bad guys if I have to put it. I know they are supposed to make people angry but unless for a good reason, no bites. Right now, the Community? Pretty immature if you ask me. Fear and discipline might be effective when dealing with brat but I can see why they don't have what it takes to have a kid. A bunch of lowlife losers making perfect banks for Liberating business, kind of sad actually. Hope Ethan could break some sense into them and light his way out of the dark.
"And Ethan, whenever you get lost in the night, always remember morning is on its way. Get your acts together and make some friends, they'll help, one way or another."
That's my two cents for the poor squirt. In short, I've decided to read through all five and stick to the story. Can't pull my ass out of the crapper yet, I'm afraid you'll get more shit from me in the future, feel free to give me yours and we'll kick the fuss around, I suppose I could get a better grasp of drama to write my piece of sob story. You said you got plan to fill the holes so don't let them fall through, okay?
Sorry for being rude, I have a short attention span.
Author's Response: I don't think you've been rude at all. You've made some very valid points. Thanks for your feedback, and I'm glad that you've decided to stick around. Don't feel bad about pointing out inconsistencies; if no one points out my plot-holes, how am I ever going to fix them? : )
Date: 01/11/16 06:26 am Title: Welcome
OH GOD IT"S A CULT! OH GOD NO!!! This kid is doomed... I really hope this kid gets saved soon but our prologue made it pretty obvious we're just going to see him tortured more... poor child. May this cult burn! May their arms and legs be sliced off with a rusty blade, and set ablaze to burn over ten years!
Author's Response: Well, you never know. There's still a lot of story left to tell. Every dark tunnel has a light at the end of it; the question is if Ethan can make it through that tunnel. Thanks for the review, and I hope you enjoyed!
Date: 01/11/16 03:37 am Title: Prologue
Liberators go around with a fair share of gossip and none of them is anything good. Cops and media got the target and forced those crooks to conseal themselves as well as their work. To use brutal force having only the masks on doesn't exactly make them professional, you think so? The reason why this has been bugging me is mainly due to the rapey scene you put in the beginning, it's the first thing coming to my attention and goddamn...what am I supposed to feel when:
Ch 1: Assault in the open is a no-effort way to win a ticket to cell, red handed, end of story. Put up a fight, get gunned down. Liberators are no jokes, they have a good pack of lackeys to do the dirty deeds and they expect favorable result, not risks, even if breaking a door and fucking a woman is in the lastest fashion of evil.
Ch 2: Lily and Thomas, they guarantee extra dough to traffickers and having extra payoff scratches in a world of dark could save anybody a lot of troubles. So seeing the Liberators is the hot stuff with sick fucks, why not keep the kids? Why even give their captures a choice? You know what, this Liberation crap looks pretty harmless to me. They got standards, they are noble and the best part, they don't break the deal, no matter what kind it is. At one point I even thought one of them was an undercover cop or some cool guy shit.
I appreciate a good dark theme now and then but the way you portray it is like a big mystery to me. Don't get me wrong, the writing is superb and comparing to any kind of garbage I wrote, it's tear jerking. Add the fact that I'm a huge sucker for tragedy, it doesn't take long to get me hooked but being a judgemental ass, I always pick the content to rip. Don't mean to impose on you or anything but I will decide whether to stay or skedaddle when I see a clear answer. For now I'll just club it, a few little stars won't hurt.
Author's Response: Yeah, I see what you're saying. Using Lily and Thomas to force Thomas to sacrifice himself was something that I thought of as a way to begin the psychological torment that I wanted the protagonist to endure. I understand your grievances, and I'll try to think of a way to write myself out of that little plot-hole. I've got a few ideas, but I don't want to give them all away right now. As for raping the mother, that'll bit may or may not play a role later in the story. Don't feel bad about picking apart my work; I love getting feedback like this. It's impossible to grow as a author if all the reviews are "good job!" I hope that my future chapters can entice you to stick around! Thanks a to for the feedback!
Date: 01/10/16 08:18 pm Title: Prologue
If the big group has been on the delicacy case then Ethan's kidnappers should not be breathing anymore, too bad...Forgive me, not the brightest bulbs in the chandelier so you'll have to be more specific why they decided raiding the house was a good idea. And while I'm at it, I'd like to know, why is your world so keen on illigal adoption to the point that there is a dangerous crime syndicate dedicated to it?
Author's Response: I'm not really sure what you mean by "delicacy case." As for why they raided specifically Ethan and his families house, the Liberators just assumed it would be the easiest target. Ethan fit the request made by Lillian and Peter, and by taking all three kids from the family and knowing that Ethan would give himself up to save his younger siblings the same fate, they made the decision to raid the house. The Liberators crime syndicate doesn't just rely on illegal adoption; they deal with all sorts of human trafficking, mainly of children. And while the Liberators are fictional, I guarantee you that on the Dark Web, there are some organizations that do the same things, if not worse. The world can be a pretty messed up place. Hope this cleared some things up for you, and I hope you'll enjoy my future updates! Thanks for reviewing!
Date: 01/09/16 05:04 am Title: Fear
It's rather interesting, this one. I'm quite interested to see where it goes from here. I just wish the chapters we're longer.
Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed, and I hope you'll enjoy the rest of the story, too. As for chapter length, I realize that it's not the best. That's always been my biggest problem with writing. I'll try to improve the length in the future. Thanks again for the feedback!
Date: 12/28/15 10:50 am Title: Prologue
Why the frontal method just to get a hand on the kids? Making such a ruckus, would that give the police more evidence to pin the past crimes of missing children on The Liberators?
Author's Response: The police do pin past crimes on the Liberators, but just because the authorities know who the perpetrators are, that doesn't mean they can find them or identify individual members.