Date: 01/18/18 07:08 am Title: Chapter 1: Congratulations, Your Death is Highly Probable!
1st RULE: You do not talk about FIGHT CLUB.
2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about FIGHT CLUB.
3rd RULE: If someone says "stop" or goes limp, taps out the fight is over.
4th RULE: Only two guys to a fight.
5th RULE: One fight at a time.
6th RULE: No shirts, no shoes.
7th RULE: Fights will go on as long as they have to.
8th RULE: If this is your first night at FIGHT CLUB, you HAVE to fight.
Good story so far though.
Date: 01/03/18 04:09 pm Title: Chapter 1: Congratulations, Your Death is Highly Probable!
This story is awesome. Most of the time I come on this site to find some good TG shit happenin, but this is so good. Like, the concept is amazing. You could write this as a whole book and I would buy it and read it. Never read anything like it on here or in general. Amazing.
Date: 06/11/17 12:35 am Title: Chapter 1: Congratulations, Your Death is Highly Probable!
I've been a long time reader since you started back with deaths host and have to say it's good to see you back again writing stories and I couldn't help myself to read this great story (and the dealer) again but I have to know, you haven't scrapped these 2 stories have you? Since they have so much potential to become something even greater than they already are!
But enough with the rambling of a mad girl I hope you keep up the good work with all your other stories :)
Author's Response: I scrapped a few stuff, anything that wasn't scrapped I saw potential in though I have yet to add more to the story. The Dealer just finished the first book, so I want to take some time to slowly move away from that, while this story, in particular, hasn't got any sort of backlog. Something Freedom and Fangs have at this moment. Basically, I want to focus on some stuff that I know will work out well and I already have momentum with, while Win A Wish lacks momentum for the time being.
Date: 03/26/16 05:00 am Title: Chapter 7: Earth's Stout Murdering Guardians
I know what's next. But the suspens is going to kill me haha. One if my faves. Can't wait. Very good. Can't wait for more carter to. Its extremely adorable the way he acts when she teases him.
Author's Response: Well, actually, I'm sure no-one knows what's next. I might be planning something people will hate me for. Two fronts of it. You'll see soon enough.
Date: 03/26/16 02:58 am Title: Chapter 7: Earth's Stout Murdering Guardians
I feel like her wish will be the end of God's Game Show. You gave us a game breaking foreshadow. (No pun intended.)
Author's Response: I like that you tried to guess. But it's better than that. Promise.
Date: 03/25/16 07:48 pm Title: Chapter 7: Earth's Stout Murdering Guardians
I'm so glad this series isn't dead! I was worried there for a minute, thank you for another thought provoking chapter. Poor kid... having to kill even their own species. These "gods" need to pay >
Author's Response: Oh, the gods pay. It'll just take a while. That and I might have dropped hints. As they would say in Space Balls; "Comb the desert!"
Date: 03/25/16 10:35 am Title: Chapter 7: Earth's Stout Murdering Guardians
Intriguing... where did Neil disappear to, though? Is he still hiding behind a tree, and will he show up in the next chapter, or will it take too long to get back to the story and we all forget about him until someone rereads this and finds him hiding behind a tree for three straight months?
Author's Response: He's appearing next chapter. I knew the question would be asked, but considering his lack of flying ability he has to be escorted over the room.
Date: 03/25/16 09:59 am Title: Chapter 1: Congratulations, Your Death is Highly Probable!
Well, id imagine shes trying to care about it in the right way but she can't. As you said she was relived
Author's Response: Eh. Relieved she's still alive as opposed to dead as a result of being overly cautious.
Date: 12/06/15 04:16 am Title: Chapter 6: Wheel of Misfortune
So I have mixed feelings about this chapter. On the one hand, there's quite a bit of good stuff here! The fight scene is nice and Carter's pretty sweet. On the other, the chapter feels... rushed? Breathless might be a better word. There's some things that stand out as strange, such as Karen being counted in Jay's friends, but Jay didn't call to check if Karen survived. Jay is also someone who's very analytical, and I wonder if there are any patterns or stand out examples that stood out in the top 10 list. What kind of powers, weapons? Etc etc.
Jay may have a bit to go before she reaches the OP levels that your other protagonists are at, but she's well on the way with three powers already. At this rate, Jay may start dating Carter and bring furniture to life by accident. PS: Glad to see someone else who reads Tower of God. It's amazing stuff.
Author's Response: Good point. That was an author's mistake, I'll fix it in the next chapter. Jay, as someone who makes and solves puzzles, tends to act that way. He actually looks at people in the same way she does the puzzles she solves. As for the top 10 ranking, I didn't explain much because it was a secret, it exists only for you guys to question who is there. You'll get the answers when you're confronted with them. There are some things that just don't transfer well into words and videos.
I thought I was alone with ready ToG. It's godlike... If you excuse the pun.
Date: 12/05/15 08:27 am Title: Chapter 6: Wheel of Misfortune
Wow awesome chapter thanks and yes been waiting for the betrayer and I am playing just cause 3 and fallout and thanks to you I started spending points right way and its more easy now that I am level 32 😍😘
Author's Response: I've also been playing JC3. Just marginally less, it's pretty badly optimized. As for Fallout 4, I've slowed down marginally.
Date: 12/04/15 11:00 pm Title: Chapter 6: Wheel of Misfortune
Still going strong! Great story, I'd love to know where you get your inspiration from as it is totally unique
Author's Response: Wuxia novels, or martial artistry with some magic. The world of Eragon, Middle-earth and Percy Jackson. Also, a bunch of manwha, mangas and light novels, mostly looking at Tower of God, Soul Eater and a few less common stories that aren't quite near completion. Hope that helps.
Date: 12/04/15 06:53 pm Title: Chapter 6: Wheel of Misfortune
great chapter i especialy loved the lil universal guardian in the crowd joke really had me laughing cant wait for the next installment of well... all ur stories!
Author's Response: It seemed like something he would do. Especially considering his character. So I did it, seems it worked out well.
Date: 12/04/15 06:09 pm Title: Chapter 6: Wheel of Misfortune
What happened to Karen? Or are the stages done in different groups due to the large amount of participants?
Author's Response: She was around. There's just so many contestants that finding someone within the crowd is incredibly difficult.
Date: 11/16/15 11:48 am Title: Chapter 5: Knuckle Sandwich
i haven't been on in a while work and and the reading of the inheritance cycle book series.
but it is great to be back again, i have been catching up on some of the stories
i have to say that specially Legends of the Battlefield And, Win A Wish are my favorites so far and cannot wait to see more. so much so i lost track of time reading until 5am when i finished win a wish.
I cannot wait to read more.
P.S i like the soul eater reference you made.
Author's Response: Damn. It's been a while. I've been hard at work trying to work on all my projects and play Fallout 4. As for Win A Wish and Legends. They're a little more modern, mid-fantasy, so I think I see where your interests lie.
The Soul Eater reference. Man, I don't even remember where and if I made one. It's been a while since I updated Win A Wish.
Date: 10/18/15 10:08 pm Title: Chapter 1: Congratulations, Your Death is Highly Probable!
I was looking forward to the latest chapter and you delivered :), a problem I found though was due to a previous chapter with the person throwing the brick and then being killed by the UG, wouldn't the kids at have been killed as well when they pulled a knife out onto Jade? Just something that made me think a little.
Author's Response: Jade couldn't defend herself against the brick. If they somehow overpowered Jade, then yes, they would've been killed by the Guardians, but they always prefer to leave the choices to the players rather than taking everything into their own hands.
Date: 10/18/15 02:21 am Title: Chapter 5: Knuckle Sandwich
Great as always. I really like how Jay is becoming more distinct from Verona or Shore with her calm calculations mixed with flashes of strong emotion.
One note though, I've noticed you've been misusing the word smirk? It just seems out of place as a response to pain. Thanks for your writing though, seriously.
Author's Response: I've had a habit where I make similar characters and have just made them a little more original, their own characters. We should be getting back to the games soon enough, so that should be fun.
Yeah. I did, I thought there was a better word and I couldn't think of what it was, so I used 'groan' in its place.
Date: 10/17/15 08:46 pm Title: Chapter 5: Knuckle Sandwich
A very interesting chapter loving this story 😍😎🙌 so now she is adjusting to a routine life for the time she will spend on earth
Author's Response: Adjusting badly. I imagine jumping out third story windows might become routine.
Date: 10/17/15 06:11 pm Title: Chapter 5: Knuckle Sandwich
Interesting, interesting... I don't really have much to say regarding the story itself, however I will say the chapter came out nicely. And yeah, we all do have our times when writing doesn't turn out well... at all... but it'll pass.
Author's Response: 'At all'? I laughed. Hikaro said something similar. I spoke about the fact that I've only gotten around 8k-10k done on my writing and that I don't like any of it and he said 'you can get more done on your bad day than I can on a good day'. I have my days, but it never feels great when I feel like I can do better.
Date: 10/17/15 05:35 pm Title: Chapter 5: Knuckle Sandwich
That wasn't bad at all, don't be so hard on yourself.
Author's Response: That's great. It's just something felt off and it takes me a while to get over it. When something feels off, I usually scrap a chapter. I spent this past week scrapping three different chapters Win A Wish, Legends of the Battlefield and A Leg to Stand On. I'm glad that you like it, but it I can't seem to shake the feeling that something is wrong.
Date: 10/14/15 11:05 pm Title: Chapter 4: Homecoming
i like it but one thing i thought might have been better if the class didn't find. Out at least right away so they had to wonder who she is and ect.
Author's Response: Glad you liked it. And I did consider it for a while, but found that after the Universe Guardians started moving about, they wouldn't leave even a single stone left unturned. So logically, the wouldn't miss the school. But you might find that only those who were in the first class actually know, the others don't know Jay well enough.
Date: 10/12/15 09:28 pm Title: Chapter 4: Homecoming
Interesting, but sad at the same time. I was hoping against hope for Fangs. Oh, well. Fire again, though? And linked to rage yet again? Why not something that doesn't appear to make sense, like linking fire to being happy or sad?
Author's Response: I'm thinking through ideas for Fangs. Might take a while. So, sorry about that. As for fire and rage. I know I did it in Castaways, but to be fair, Apollo uses rage as a sort of tick, similar to clicking for time freeze. It's not necessary, she's just really bad at using fire. Here I wanted to use something that is unpredictable and fire seemed to suit the bill. Probably going to make it more specific later. It's probably not going to be fire and more likely going to be 'heat' or 'light'.
Date: 10/12/15 09:05 pm Title: Chapter 4: Homecoming
ohhh you went the route where she's outed at school oh i did see a small error you wrote " my brother was in the kitchen talking to my brother" just thought you would oike to know. it was a good chapter to a great story!
Author's Response: Right. Thanks for pointing out the mistake. I actually reworked the same sentence earlier thinking I fixed it and actually altered it to what you said. The choice came a little easier than I expected, but next chapter should explain why I wanted to go this way.
Date: 10/12/15 06:00 pm Title: Chapter 4: Homecoming
Sorry for breaking up my review like this, but... I think you need to do a bit more proof reading in general before posting. To me, as a native English speaker, I can very easily understand your intentions when you make an error, but I there are some mistakes that I think someone who doesn't speak English natively would trip up on, heavily.
Regardless, you are an excellent writer and I honestly have a hard time waiting for you to release new chapters for just about all of your stories.
Author's Response: Sorry. I've got a bit of a headache. I was planning on going over it a bit more, but I decided to post it as is. I'm planning to go over it a bit tomorrow when I've shaped up a bit. Thanks for pointing it and thanks for the review.
Date: 10/12/15 05:54 pm Title: Chapter 4: Homecoming
I like the chapter. It is mixed of the situation. Sometimes the fathers also try to wish that the girl is a son. I have 3 bro, not sis.
Author's Response: Yeah. The Dad here is more of a mediator, he doesn't much care. The Mother however desperately wanted a daughter. Someone she could bond with, when it didn't happen she couldn't specifically say it, but the Universe Guardians caught up on it.
Date: 10/05/15 06:21 pm Title: Chapter 1: Congratulations, Your Death is Highly Probable!
I'm absolutely loving this story, and Fangs :D
I'm a little confused though... why did you underline everything on the third chapter? It makes it extremely hard to read...
Author's Response: Oops. That was an incomplete script. It's fixed now. Sorry about that.
Date: 10/04/15 01:41 pm Title: Chapter 3: Attracting Attention
Looks like Chloe may have wanted to participate herself... or trying to find out info before it happens to her
Author's Response: Chloe is mostly starstruck. She thinks that those who play are amazing rather than just unlucky. Because it's a TV show, she finds it hard to realize that people are dying in front of her.
Date: 09/25/15 11:08 am Title: Chapter 2: Survivor
I'm looking forward to reading more of this story.... And ya may want look over your story, I've noticed at the tail-end where you spelled farm instead of far...(2nd Last Paragraph)
Author's Response: I went over it and fixed that. I thought I read over it well enough, clearly I was too tired.
Date: 09/25/15 02:37 am Title: Chapter 2: Survivor
Im blue by eiffel 65. Song of my childhood. I'd imagine his extremely traumatized by killing a few people... And Karen is definitely terrified of him/her now
Author's Response: It's difficult to explain the situation. The idea of a wish makes one think of the entire situation as an 'I can bring them back later'. I spent a few hours wondering what the RIGHT response would be. There is no right response, being offered a wish does a lot to one person. They become desperate and secretive. While Jay isn't like that, she thinks that this wish can be used to bring back all those she kills, thereby abdicating her of her sins. It's hard, but there's a description later on in the story as to why she doesn't get nightmares and doesn't think on it as much.
Date: 09/24/15 02:53 pm Title: Chapter 2: Survivor
Oh nice chapter loved it but one questions remain as she returned to earth she will turn back into boy or remain girl? I think next chapter may answer that but for now I am happy 😻😎
Author's Response: Yeah. It will be answered next chapter.
Date: 09/24/15 12:48 pm Title: Chapter 2: Survivor
Nice... Becoming attracted to men is good, but one question, have you tested to writing about the ftm-story?
Author's Response: Not so much. The way I am right now I'm not sure it would be possible for me. I have God Killer and Eclipse. God Killer has a side character. Eclipse has a main character, but that part comes super late.
Date: 09/23/15 12:59 pm Title: Chapter 1: Congratulations, Your Death is Highly Probable!
I reread, it sounded like a mixed of Gladiator and Avatar. Hm?
Author's Response: Not everything will happen on this planet. There's a lot more that will happen.
Date: 09/22/15 09:13 pm Title: Chapter 1: Congratulations, Your Death is Highly Probable!
Oh? I wonder how much "some more" is... good to see that this one has a potential time limit on it though! A rare thing for your stories, it seems like this will wrap up as the event gets closer to ending while your others seem more like someone forced into a change who has to deal with it.
I oversimplify it for the sake of making my point.
While I could give you my typical "I'm intrigued" spiel I'm not going to. I'm just going to say one more thing, a warning: You have quite a few unfinished stories. You remember Death's Host? How you just kind of... stopped posting for it? And the first Legends? I know how fickle inspiration can be, but it almost feels like (sometimes) getting feedback makes you want to write more. Do what I do, archive them, write them but don't post immediately. It hurts, but sometimes it's necessary. You'll find you didn't really want to write the story anyhow, or find it won't leave your mind, and then you can make decisions. Just a recommendation to keep in mind as your unfinished story count climbs higher and higher
Author's Response: Yeah. I know about unfinished story count. I actually didn't want to post this because of that expressed reason, but because I was trying something new with my characters I convinced myself otherwise. I might do what I originally planned with Betrayer and split it into parts as I said before it's not even a third of the way to completion, it can fall into three novels. For Dealer I'm not sure when it will end while the other stories I have a good direction with. It's not that I don't have ideas for the stories, it's just that I have to choose that's the problem. Maybe I'll make a schedule. We'll see.
Date: 09/22/15 06:40 pm Title: Chapter 1: Congratulations, Your Death is Highly Probable!
Good start, interesting to see where it goes.
Author's Response: Yeah. It's actually got a whole bunch of levels to it. I hope by chapter 3 people will understand exactly how far this goes.
Date: 09/22/15 03:35 pm Title: Chapter 1: Congratulations, Your Death is Highly Probable!
I both like this and don't like it at the same time. Characters and premise are good. But it just feels rushed. It was moving too fast from one scene to another. It's like an double expresso, small but very strong. A lot to take in.
Also where's the dealer fit into your schedule? I'm glad to hear about fangs as well. Those are my favourite.
Author's Response: I suppose you're right about that. It should tone down a bit in the next chapter. It's supposed to be like a game show, fast paced to get to the meat of it. How I'll slow it down... You'll see.
Mostly when I feel like doing it. I have ideas and I feel like doing it. I just have other bigger ideas first.
Date: 09/22/15 02:54 pm Title: Chapter 1: Congratulations, Your Death is Highly Probable!
Three letters again... WOW! It is too early to comment, so I don't know. Is the male Jay asexual? It seems so.
Author's Response: Actually it's more the messing of the Universe Guardians. They said that they granted to one wish already. That means that Jay is exactly as he was if he was female. After that was done they gave the now female Jay the powers and wings. They are Gods, so calling their abilities miracles wouldn't be wrong, but it's not something that I can even begin to think of explaining.
Date: 09/22/15 01:48 pm Title: Chapter 1: Congratulations, Your Death is Highly Probable!
Boy, are these gods sadistic. What is the reason for them bringing ppl here against their will and sentencing most to end up dying?
And just clear up one thing: Did Jayden get a high BP because he really is smart or are the gods just picking on him for so reason? If so I really hope then if Jayden wins he uses his wish to get some revenge.
Author's Response: In legend, Gods are known to toy with mortals for their amusement, condemning Humans to death. Think of Greek Gods and stuff like that.
He got it because he's smart. He's most capable of solving puzzles, so he's got a high BP.