Date: 05/29/17 04:49 am Title: Chapter 13
This is for the whole story so far. Very interesting concepts but the different arcs feel almost episodic, and to me at least they seem a bit disconected especially with secondary characters, situation and settings changing, they feel more like 2 stories in a series then flowing pieces of one story. The mother character I feel is the weakest point so far and im glad she was written out, compared to everything else she comes across as 1 dimensional and cartoonish.
Date: 05/16/16 04:09 am Title: *Changes - Non Story*
I like your story
The machine has a resemblance with the editing platform game (SIM3)
I have some suggestions:
The machine has limits in its statistics (human limits)
Example: once that is achieved, the maximum force, this limit can be increased, changing the height or size.
Also should be considered, the consequences, to increase the senses, if the ear is increased, sounds, become unbearable.
Finally I propose this idea, for mental changes.
A blank page, similar to programming applications.
Where you can write command, the user must obey.
Example; if you write, "have knowledge of all the techniques of karate," the user becomes a karate champion.
But if you type "be obedient to the orders of another person". It becomes a slave.
The same, if you write, delete any emotion.
The scanner scans only the physical form, but not mental.
Date: 10/04/15 12:12 pm Title: Prologue
carl clover is a character from the fighting video game Blazblu i had been playing before i posted my comment and mentioned carl because he is a character who fights in tandem wkth his sister who was turned into a mechanical puppet
Author's Response: Sounds interesting
Date: 09/24/15 02:50 am Title: Prologue
Definitely enjoying the story so far. There are a few grammar mistakes here and there, and St. Madoka is probably the least believable name I've ever heard (I'm guessing it's a reference to the show, but you should probably try and fine some other way to work it in), but the premise both allows for fun moments and a lot of craziness. A good mystery yarn is always a treat, but... It's gonna be Nerdstein, isn't it?
Don't answer that.
Also, what happens if the device runs out of power? Do all the settings revert or are they locked until it's charged up enough to turn on again?
Author's Response: If the device runs out of power or is destroyed then the settings will remain locked, although you'll still age and change naturally.
Date: 09/24/15 12:44 am Title: Prologue
If insanity is a possibility, I don't see how the scale would affect the chances much. Also, are you saying there are no safety limits whatsoever on the tablet?
Also, how do you think Pink would react to someone just going out and purchasing a full-spectrum lamp to power the tablet?
Author's Response: The main safety feature is the confirmation screen which undoes changes if a user doesn't, or is unable to, confirm them. The tablet will also refuse to make a change that would result in your instant death. Aside from that the maximum value on the scale is whatever Pink chose for it to be. As for the lamp... she would just sabotage it when no-one was looking.
Date: 09/22/15 09:58 am Title: Chapter 4
so Kinley experiences his first night out as i girl. i was scared his mom would check is backpack when he came home late. woo dodved a bullet there. keep up the good work your writing always brightens up the monotony of day to day life
Author's Response: Glad you are enjoying the story
Date: 09/22/15 12:47 am Title: Chapter 4
I really liked the last scene in this chapter. I still don't understand why Kinley doesn't max out everything, though. Would it really be that hard to feign difficulty?
Author's Response: Maxing everything at once would drive him insane from the sudden burst of knowledge as well as from conflicting information which his brain can't handle. He is slowly increasing everything he wants and only maxing out the things he needs.
Date: 09/16/15 02:20 am Title: Prologue
Loving the concept and execution! Well presented, just a few typos, looking forward to where you take us next. I expect Kinley to face challenges of course, but hoping he achieves more joy than torture.
Author's Response: Typos are dime a dozen in my stories, my proofing techniques could do with improvement :(
Date: 09/12/15 07:59 pm Title: Chapter 1
i have never seen detention for not passing a test... umm i like the story can't wait for more.
Author's Response: It was a really bad fail and he given detention to repeat it as it was obvious he hadn't studied the first time.