Date: 01/19/20 11:11 pm Title: Chapter 28: Hatred, Rage, Seething Desperation
After finishing your story, my primary reaction is appreciation for the massive amount of effort you obviously put into it. I was drawn to this story primarily due to the subject matter and the length, I usually read novels and series so I'm accustomed to some 'meat' and tend to gravitate toward the longer stories. I did have some trouble with the, 'flow' of your writing style. It kind of seemed to me like I was reading a story translated from a different language. Hard to put into words but for me, it was an issue. I'm sorry if that seems critical, I really want to commend you for your contribution and I hope you continue. In the hopes that you do continue and because you asked for critical feedback.......what I missed in the story most was the lack of intimacy. I understand if you were trying to write a mainstream story, but honestly the reason I come to this site is to indulge my gender-bender fantasy and I feel this was more of a "slice of life" to borrow an anime term. Don't get me wrong when done well slice of life stories are awesome, but I don't think that's what you were going for. What I would most like to see if you write a second book, is more ancillary character development. especially with the family. I really wanted you to spend more time with his sister and their mom and have them as a part of the story. Also I really enjoyed the parts in the story dealing with his ingenuity and struggle toward his goals and hope to see more of that in future books, [fingers crossed] Anyway thanks for being a part of my life for a day and good luck in the future. Sorry if I came across as negative I did like your story.
Author's Response: You didn't come across negatively, and your opinion is widely shared by many other readers, seeking to see some form of romance, intimacy, friendship, camaraderie and family. That's intended to come in the next book, and has already been put to paper (or screen). For the time being, that lacks the intimacy and romance I have already promised, but the goal is to slowly allow for a more realistic build up from friend to lover as I do in a lot of my other works. I prefer my characters to have a sort of wondrous perfect sweetheart, but rather someone that ends up being the soul mate through soul finding. That will come, but first I wanted some focus on older characters and then I'll focus on romance. It's those three as well as HUNTER as a whole that people have brought up as flaws in the book and before anyone said that, my following book already had those penned as their intended direction. You have nothing to worry about, you just may have to wait a while.
Date: 12/10/19 12:28 am Title: Chapter 28: Hatred, Rage, Seething Desperation
I made the terrible mistake of reading the whole story in one sitting while under the illusion that it was 29 chapters long. Perfect recipe for that malaise you can get after reading a good book! As much as I hate that feeling, I'm still excited over the idea of more.
Spoiler warning because I'm getting into my hopes for the sequel.
I think I'm most excited for the potential for our heroine to get to know her friends better and figure out her relationship with her family. I felt the need to stay low and develop a strong sense of ruthlessness/ambition to use her powers and play politics prevented a lot of development in that direction. The teaser at the end makes me think she's going to have time to do so, because it would be a waste to not draw out the fun.
A question that was on my mind through the whole thing. How did Verona's genetics change in the transformation?
Author's Response: You're right, there's a lot of time in the sequel spent getting a closer relationship with older characters and family. It admittedly needs a good chunk of time more before I'm satisfied, but there's such a big plot point that is immediately revealed that I'm sure everyone will be delighted to see.
How did Verona's genetics change? Completely. When she changed, her entire body was broken down to a near liquid state, ultimately reshaping her bones, her muscles, her ligaments, her fat, her organs, and her DNA. She's no longer Blake, at least not physically, mentally, she's the same person, but her DNA makes her visually a different person and makes her think emotionally about things very differently. That being said, in spite of her changes to mimic the original Verona, she's not the same. The old Verona was cautious and never fought, this Verona more accurately bares similarities to Reishi and Tera. It'll undoubtedly be revealed why during the next part.
Date: 11/28/19 01:02 am Title: Chapter 28: Hatred, Rage, Seething Desperation
Chapter 28 - Great story, I read it nonstop. Looking forward to the sequel. No pressure, though, take your time.
Author's Response: Wow, you really went at it. I didn't expect to see so many reviews over 2 days. I wouldn't consider it a light read with all the political elements in the story. I'm glad you enjoyed it and I'm glad you spent the time to really dig into it with great zeal and furthermore, I enjoyed your commentary of little tidbits of every couple of chapters. As for the sequel; it's a way's in. I have four chapters on it and it's filling in the gaps that Fangs left. I wanted Fangs to build the world, while Maestro focuses on people, emotions, then the world as a whole. I hope you enjoy that as much as you enjoyed this.
Date: 11/27/19 06:39 pm Title: Chapter 19: Ruffling Some Feathers
Chapter 19 - "“Just wait until I poke the bear…” I mumble, just barely loud enough for them to hear. “Then this will be a walk in the park.”"
No. You do not annoy the were-bears. Just don't. They will squash you. Or eat you. Or both. Everyone knows this.
Date: 11/27/19 01:59 pm Title: Chapter 11: An Opinion of a Friend
Chapter 11 - As expected (spoiler alert), she killed and blood-sucked the guys chasing her. Interesting she feels no remorse. I hope that's not a foreshadowing of personality changes to comes. Also, scary now that HUNTER is on her tail.
Date: 11/26/19 11:07 pm Title: Chapter 6: Information Overload
Chapter 6 - "If I’m to become a Progenitor, doesn’t that mean I have to be the one to fix that mess?"
Sounds like it. And now we know why her position is so precarious. Not only will the Hunters want to take her out, so will the governing council of her own species. Intimidating position for one so young.
Date: 11/12/19 12:21 pm Title: Chapter 2: Redefining Logic
Lord Summer is much more patient in this revision than I remember him being. Not sure if that is because he is now or if I really don't remember the guy that well. Him force feeding her his blood will forever stay in my memory. XD
Author's Response: Summer has various other character flaws in this version. I thought original Summer was far too unlikable and I saw more possibilities of Verona going toward HUNTER than I did non-humans. That being said, that might be an interesting story in its own right.
Date: 11/03/19 12:38 am Title: Chapter 28: Hatred, Rage, Seething Desperation
pretty good but i feel like you just ended this story on a mager cliffhanger
Author's Response: I mentioned it a few times to other people. A cliffhanger helps people see that there is a sequel coming and leave opportunities for people to continue from where I leave off in the unlikely scenario of my early death.
Date: 10/18/19 06:33 pm Title: Chapter 1: Verona's Chalice
Alright, review time. As someone who loved the original iteration of Fangs I was wary when the rewrite came out. However, now that the first book is finished, I can safely say rhat the rewrite has surpassed anything that the original could have become. The growth in writing from the original to the rewrite, and even in this story itself, is evident and something you should feel proud of.
As for the story itself there's a lot to say. I liked Verona's self reflection in this last chapter and I wish it's something that came up more often. She goes through a lot of changes in a relatively short time, and hearing more of this in the next book would be nice. I think that the beginning of the story struggled with pacing, either being too slow or too fast, but around the middle you started hitting it just right. I like the way you write the action scenes. I never find myself at a loss for what's happening.
As for things that would be nice to see in the next book, it would be nice to see Verona put in more situations where she doesn't have the answer or solution. She's intelligent but she doesn't know everything (yet). There was a lot of points, especially later on, where it felt like she was infallible. It would also be nice to see more of the world the characters inhabit. This story felt self contained in a small part of a big world and it would be fun to explore how non-humans live in other areas.
This is one of those stories I keep coming back to every since I found it in 2016. The characters and world you've created feel vivid and real, and I can't wait to see where you take them in the future. It's nice to see this story finished, it's a big accomplishment and I hope you feel proud of what you've created.
Author's Response: Thank you for such an in-depth review. And I already have set up scenarios that bring up a lot of your concerns.
In Maestro, what happened in the last chapter leaves Verona traumatized. She thinks to herself a lot and she can't come up with answers to her emotional and psychological state which means she needs other people to fix it. There will be some returning characters that come back with enormous grudges and an enormous mistake she made in the past which introduced that hatred. It's other people that tell her how to fix that.
Then there's the world of non-humans as a whole. At the end of the chapter you saw the biggest bad of all bads laughing to himself. It should come as no surprise that all of this was kind of set up by him, so Verona essentially played into his hands and it means she has a more intelligent foe than her. It opens up a larger world and I intend for Maestro to bring a few characters into Rome, where there's a different non-human society.
I'm very glad you enjoyed it, and I'm also happy to have produced a story worthy of such praise. I definitely intend to bring Maestro out to further flesh out the world, Verona, and various old characters that haven't had much time in the spotlight. I hope you can wait a little while until I'm happy that I've got it up to a good point for release.
Date: 09/21/19 11:20 pm Title: Chapter 1: Verona's Chalice
Awesome story. Oh how cliffhanger always make me go grrr. Thank you. Anticipation will be building for the next book.
Author's Response: Sadly, the cliffhanger allows a story to conclude in a safe place. If perhaps in an ocassion where I unexpectedly die and can't get back to it, then it means I can leave it here as opposed to in a horrible spot. And maybe, someone can pick up the baton and move on. That is so much easier to do with a closed cliffhanger.
Date: 09/20/19 04:39 am Title: Chapter 28: Hatred, Rage, Seething Desperation
:o oh ho
Can't wait for the next.
Was an awesome fight.
I needs moooorrreeee x.x
Author's Response: I've started on the next book, aptly called "Maestro" but I want to get a few chapters in before I start posting them.
Date: 09/19/19 02:22 am Title: Chapter 28: Hatred, Rage, Seething Desperation
Long time lurker just wanted to say this is one of my top 2 favorite stories on this site, and I'm not sure which I'd rate higher. Please do continue it when you get a chance. It has just the right mix of action and drama. My only suggestion for the start of the next segment is throughout this first part Verona has been constantly doing something and has never had a chance to internalize anything. She is a woman now, something that I'm not sure she's ever accepted. You could have someone bold enough to ask her out on a date whether its someone at the school who was dared into it or any other reason. I'm not asking for anything risque, just something that'll make her realize she's a woman. That being said one of the reasons I like this story so much is that it doesn't focus much if any on that aspect, but adding even something small would given you another plot line that you could work with when the action slows
Author's Response: Verona both didn't have time to think about it nor thought it mattered but the next book immediately starts with her being forced to understand the full capacity of what being a girl is rather than what being a vampire is. I'm glad you like the story and here's to an equally powerful sequel.
Date: 09/02/19 06:01 am Title: Chapter 26: A Hill to Die On
Very good chapter c:
Can't wait for more. Love this story so much
Author's Response: I'm on the last few chapters of this book. There's obviously a second book, with an expanded HUNTER teased, but it will be in a very different vein. There will be less politics, and more returning characters, more badass, and most importantly; a team.
Date: 08/07/19 06:55 am Title: Chapter 25: HUNTER Hunted
It has me cracking up. Love every chapter. Can't wait for more:3
Author's Response: I did write the chapter with a little bit more humor, and the imagery as well as the poor lead half-vampire slamming against the wall over and over again gave me a smile as I wrote it.
Date: 08/07/19 03:34 am Title: Chapter 25: HUNTER Hunted
Very well done fight scene, loved her absorbing her memories at the end. Thanks for the quick update Missania!
Author's Response: The memories thing always struck me as an important thing to happen to bring her up to par with the elvating threats. Giving her memories of a Hunter seemed almost perfect and having them flow in so smoothly and in almost a dreamlike way was a great way to add them. It was specifically powerful when concerning Luna. We know almost nothing about Luna, but that scene gives insight into her character slightly before she dies. It's a seemingly copout way of developing a character as they die, but in this case, it's completely understandable.
Date: 08/05/19 03:49 am Title: Chapter 1: Verona's Chalice
Mmm not what I meant by all that. I guess from being in a academy and then a couple details I got I kinda just saw her in a different way then what she actually was. I apologize.
Still love all your stories. They are amazing.
Author's Response: I know what you mean. But sadly what you want still doesn't correlate to what's already been explained.
Date: 08/04/19 06:34 pm Title: Chapter 1: Verona's Chalice
I just meant like will she grow as looking more womanly..... Cause I'm sure later down the road...... She's gonna have a kid.. Kinda like betrayer.. But I'd like her to get some kinda of womanly figure instead of a pubilesent teen x.x
But I do love the story and can't wait to see where it goes
Author's Response: She's not a prepubescent teen. She's most certainly after that point. You can be well passed your development and still look like a child. Men can stop growing beards, woman can stop growing breasts. The design for Verona was decided because I wanted a different aspect to how people perceived Verona. I wanted them to look down on her and while romantically, that could be perceived as almost deviant, generally, it reveals a lot of vitally important things. Basically, all the focus on how Verona looks young is her breasts and her height. But her voice is womanly, her shape is womanly, her face is womanly. I never once said her body was square, I never once said her face was pudgy. She might see herself as looking like a child, but in truth, she's anything but. She short and has a small bust, that's really all there is to her looking young. The way you perceive her is obviously the way Verona sees herself. And that is undoubtedly going to change when I involve romance in the story. Leon sees a different part of her, and if you see it from Leon's perspective, you see her as a short woman.
Date: 08/04/19 06:40 am Title: Chapter 24: The Grandstander's Gala
I don’t understand how you could possibly think that your writing is merely “acceptable”. You are one of the best writers on the site.
Author's Response: Maybe I am one of the best. That isn't what I'm referring to and I most definitely would not begin to egotistically consider myself the best and compare myself to the best. I'm comparing myself to myself. And in the end, I consider this merely "acceptable" because I know I've done better before. The more I write, the more I fuss over how my work doesn't measure up to the days I wrote some of my best chapters. Still, thank you for the compliment. It's always nice hearing people loving my work and me as a writer. It's for you all I work to be a better writer.
Date: 08/03/19 03:10 pm Title: Chapter 24: The Grandstander's Gala
Amazing chapter...... Also... Will she grow. Cause like from things I've read and watch some people keep the female Vamps looking like kids... And I don't remember exactly what your plan is.... I'd like for her body to mature to. But great chapter I'm so happy for the update
Author's Response: The young vampire look has plot significance. Seeing as it was the main reason why HUNTER went after Reishi, Tera, and Dracula first. No, she won't grow, but I want to say that she isn't a child in appearance. She merely looks like a small adult, never gaining scars, wrinkles or age. Specifically, with significance, the first Progenitors did age, but they weren't always vampires. Whether I talk about that will remain to be seen. Half-vampires reach an age where they stop growing old, but Progenitors are forever trapped in the age they become a Progenitor in. Verona is just small, not a child, and no doubt people spent a stage in life where people thought they were younger or older than they were.
Date: 08/03/19 05:46 am Title: Chapter 24: The Grandstander's Gala
It's been a long time and I missed you very much. Thanks for sharing and I believe this is a stellar work. She can finally get what she wants plus hunter's will be out of the picture. Hope you are doing well and no pressure but keep these coming as it's getting more and more interesting.
Author's Response: And I missed you. It's been so long since I saw a review from you and I've always missed seeing your excitement and ennjoyment. It blows my mind how it's been so long since I first saw a review from you and how much your grammar, punctuation and spelling has improved since then. It's fantastic to see you still enjoying my work.
Date: 08/03/19 03:20 am Title: Chapter 24: The Grandstander's Gala
I'm glad you're still continuing this series! I really enjoyed this chapter as well, it makes for a good prelude to the ramping up of the story to come! I'm excited for more!
Author's Response: I always was continuing. The issue was motivation and after some reflection, I found it. I don't think there will be as much fight from HUNTER as people expect, but I want a different sort of focus, a focus on normal people before a focus on HUNTER. That will come with the things Kraven is hiding. However, I think people will be very happy with the next chapter. It includes something from the original Fangs that people have been waiting a long time for.
Date: 05/17/19 05:39 pm Title: Chapter 1: Verona's Chalice
I love everything about this story. The politics, the characters the setting absolutely everything. But I've noticed it hasn't been updated in a while. I'm not sure what the update schedule of this story is. But I just want to say I cannot wait for the next chapter
Author's Response: Yeah. My update schedule is rather odd. It depends whether I can get inspiration and push through my exertion. I'm working a lot and my motivation is pushed elsewhere, not toward my stories. I'm trying to work towards an update on multiple stories, I'm sorry to say that when it comes, it will come, but until then, you might have to wait. But I am glad you enjoy it.
Date: 03/16/19 05:44 pm Title: Chapter 23: Gathering Information
Absolutely looove it. Leon sounds lovely. I see great things with him and Verona can't wait for more. I def like her and callum but leon sounds great.
Author's Response: We'll see whether the next one comes out before Dew Drop. There's a few plans I have for both.
Date: 03/15/19 04:15 am Title: Chapter 23: Gathering Information
Leon is a late entry to the game but a well made entrance. Now Callum was my first choice as well for Verona but clearly they have no spark between them and it's too late to force one. Leon will be welcome addition and hope he helps her with insights from hunters and not double-cross her. Thanks for sharing
Author's Response: Eloquently put. Those are exactly my sentiments and it felt difficult to find a way to force any spark into their relationship. It should have come in chapter 20 at the latest, but didn't come, Callum's interests being able to be considered friendly interests. Leon's love for Verona for the time being is her interests and she lusts after him with simple desires, finding it hard to understand. Leon's love for Verona will be visited as the spying unfolds more extensively.
Date: 03/14/19 10:38 pm Title: Chapter 23: Gathering Information
Oh she has a spy
Author's Response: It seemed like a decent enough addition to the story. I wasn't intending to add a spy until I was thinking about an alternative love interest and then figured out exactly what type of character Verona would be. The love interest would have to be close to the polar opposite of her.
Date: 03/14/19 07:48 am Title: Chapter 23: Gathering Information
Ooooooohh!!! Verona’s got a crush!! Also, I love how much she flexes on everyone in this story, it is seriously fun to read.
Author's Response: And Lord Summer flexes on people too. But with more Lord's the flexing can be spread out a bit more.
Date: 03/08/19 04:30 am Title: Chapter 22: Proclamation of Power
This is by far the best chapter and so amazing. I think this was necessary for Verona to be seen as someone who can't be easily taken down. Thanks for sharing and waiting to read more.
Author's Response: On both sides. She acts extremely confident around HUNTER, so they can't risk losing a lot of numbers against her, and she acts confident with the lords, because she can't be questioned and endangered.
Date: 03/02/19 04:34 am Title: Chapter 22: Proclamation of Power
Good for Verona for putting that uppity Lord in his place. And it’s cool that she’s reintegrating into the school! I can’t wait to see what would happen in an all out fight between her and Jared! Such a cool story!
Author's Response: It actually took a while for me to figure out how to handle that issue. I was initially going to have her lose her temper, but that would be the wrong way to deal with it, but Summer has always been quick on the uptake and he did it for her. Generally, her solution is the correct one, but Lord Peter Gabriel will never like her leadership style, and as she said in the chapter; "That's okay." There's no way to make everyone happy, but she made a lot of people happy and that's for the best.
Date: 02/28/19 05:46 pm Title: Chapter 22: Proclamation of Power
Im at a loss for words, it was that epic of a chapter, cant hardly wait for the next.
Author's Response: The next is a bit of a challenge, but we'll see how that goes. I'm glad you enjoyed it, I'm at least mostly satisfied with how it turned out.
Date: 02/20/19 08:54 pm Title: Chapter 1: Verona's Chalice
Makes a note not to piss her off. Nice work. I wonder what the old fangs would look like .
Author's Response: The old Fangs... Well, in the old version, Verona was heading to Rome in a school field trip, she was going to save 2 Hunters after sneaking out of the hotel from a mermaid attack and they would refer her to the Vatican. The Vatican would accept her as a Hunter and tentatively give her the rank of two star Hunter. She would enter the archives, find a cookbook written by John Seward and utilize knowledge from the voice of Verona to decode it and find the locations of Reishi's blood.
There were some good ideas, but it was tough to work through the Rome arc.
Date: 02/20/19 05:03 pm Title: Chapter 21: Cooperation
Thank you for this beautiful chapter and I hope you are doing well dear. Looking forward to reading more and this is getting so brilliant as she cements her status one by one.
Author's Response: It stops being one by one after this.
Date: 02/15/19 11:01 am Title: Chapter 21: Cooperation
IM SO HAPPY FOR AN UPDATE. OMG!!!!!! I LOVE YOU :P
Love this story
Author's Response: About halfway through the next chapter, but that's the easier half. Not entirely certain what to do with the later half yet.
Date: 02/14/19 06:05 am Title: Chapter 21: Cooperation
Yay! After a long time waiting, this story is being continued! Excellent job on these most recent chapters.
Author's Response: Huh. I actually considered these more recent chapters as failures. I had trouble with writing them due to writer's block. I wasn't satisfied with how they were turning out. I guess perhaps I lacked confidence.
Date: 02/14/19 05:39 am Title: Chapter 21: Cooperation
This is such a cool story! Hiding from a shadow organization in the light seems like a solid defence for vampire society. Lord Verona Tares is a very fun character to read, and I look forward to reading more of this (and Dew Drop lol)!
Author's Response: Thank you. I hope the next chapter will further increase your enjoyment.
Date: 02/12/19 05:35 pm Title: Chapter 16: Wrapped in Their Own Web
I really starting to love this world building and politics.
Author's Response: It's a big detail in the story, being politically and differently built based on new existences. A key part of the story will be coming with the next two chapters, I'm near completing chapter 21, so I hope you enjoy that too.
Date: 11/18/18 08:27 pm Title: Chapter 20: Estranged
Wow this has been a long wait. So glad you posted this and I am really happy that you are writing again finding that old motivation. Hope you can write more of this and I am really happy with this chapter. Hugs n hope you are doing well.
Date: 11/16/18 04:29 am Title: Chapter 20: Estranged
OMG OMG OMG OMG AN UPDATE. I loved it to. Great chapter I need moooore
Really wish could give more in the rate
Author's Response: I'm sorry about the wait. I'll see what I can do with the next, but no promises.
Date: 11/15/18 05:33 pm Title: Chapter 20: Estranged
Wow she a little more mean to the hunters. I love it. Hope your next add on takes just as long. Vary good work I love to see her sis stay at her side but she a vampire and her sis is human unless that's going to change. Who knows.
Author's Response: Actually, she's being very welcoming to the Hunters. She doesn't treat them the way she's treated, but rather treats any threat with levity. It's concerning for the Hunters as it makes their method of dealing with threats seem weak. For them, it's bizarre, but it can hardly be called rude.
Date: 09/28/18 03:44 pm Title: Chapter 1: Verona's Chalice
Its been awile. How is that new story comming along
Author's Response: It was scrapped, much like my other attempts recently. It's been tough, a tough year for me. I'm almost done a Fangs chapter, but I wouldn't keep that in mind. I said the same with a Dew Drop chapter and it hasn't changed since then. The problem is I fight with my writing and find myself disappointed in what enters the page. Fangs has seen the best change in a while and I'm happy with what's there. I'll try put a little more down to conclude the chapter with some more happy lines, but there's no guarentee those will flow as well as the scene I just wrote.
Date: 09/17/18 10:54 am Title: Chapter 7: Devil By My Side
you know that you are misspelling math and that there is only one way to spell math
Author's Response: Is this a troll? It must be. The United States of America is the only place that shortens mathematics to math, but everywhere else calls it maths. Arachas, situated in the continent of Pangea is not in America, thus it would use the word "maths". Now if the argument is that I use American spelling for things like "color" or "flavor", that is a matter of it being the easiest to read for a lot of my readers. Anything that a character thinks or talks about that could change the context of a scene, however, should remain accurate to location. So size is in "kilograms" and "meters", mathematics is referred to as "maths".
Date: 07/12/18 12:20 pm Title: Chapter 19: Ruffling Some Feathers
Amazing read been saving it for long xD But I guess you will update sooner now :p Btw this was amazing I loved how Verona kept in control and Gabriel even though egoistic listened to her with respect. I have a feeling she is destined for greatness.
Date: 06/19/18 12:32 pm Title: Chapter 1: Verona's Chalice
I liked the story before and the re-write is amazing. cant wait to see what come next
Author's Response: Thank you. I'm currently working on a different story out of my wheelhouse, we'll see if people like that.
Date: 06/09/18 05:18 am Title: Chapter 19: Ruffling Some Feathers
Oh oh oh I wanna poke the bear!!!!!! :O
On another note. Chapter was fucking great. I loved it. I've missed it. And again hope you are better. Love and miss ya
Author's Response: Yeah. I'm feeling much better. Creative juices are still flowing slowly, but I managed to get a reasonable amount done. I'm glad you liked it, though I am uncertain when the next one will be, it's quite a difficult one.
Date: 06/06/18 11:28 pm Title: Chapter 1: Verona's Chalice
Author's Response: I understand the importance of this story, but please allow me to release it in my own time, else you might get a rushed version. Related to that, however, I am on the cusp of completing the story, but have decided to take some time to build up some certainty that it will conclude well. You should be seeing it soon.
Date: 05/12/18 10:40 am Title: Chapter 18: Power Reclaimed
Brilliance!!! Incredible chapter loved it very much and really glad she accepted her destiny and became a pogenitor. Really looking forward to what future holds. 😍
Author's Response: One of the best chapters for sure. Glad you enjoyed it. For the time being, I'm doing some work on Dew Drop, as it seems prudent to split my focus so more of my readers can get a large choice.
Date: 05/12/18 09:05 am Title: Chapter 15: Proof of Perfection
I am really happy and amazed how this story has turned to be more amazing. I really love every bit of it. Few chapters back you mentioned Geralt of Rivia and I being the huge fan of Witcher 3 and series loved the reference. This also made me think that CD project red are currently working on Cyber punk 2077 and that setting seems amazing. I was wondering in future after you finish fangs will you be interested in writing on that setting? They are really creative people like you. I love your work and I am of. Strong belief that if you decide to write on that setting you will only make it more wonderful. Anyway really enjoyed this chapter and I can't wait to see Verona becoming a progenitor. Also loved how she put Lana in her place and gave her a new haircut. 😍
Author's Response: I might think about making a cyberpunk style story in the future. It was part of my ideas in the past, so maybe after I decrease my workload. So, yeah, probably. And you are quite close to seeing the Progenitor. It's the latest chapter.
Date: 05/11/18 12:57 pm Title: Chapter 9: Disappointing Development
Power really corrupts but sometimes it's a boon for people with strong will who wants to make a difference. I am really loving the revamp version of story and have noticed it is so different from original story yet better and entertaining. I am doing well now hugs 😍😘
Author's Response: You'll see how power is used in the hands of someone as frivolous as Verona. But I'm glad you're enjoying it and more happy to see you've improved.
Date: 05/09/18 10:46 am Title: Chapter 18: Power Reclaimed
Yay! I was wondering if you would continue this story or leave it like the others.
I can't wait to see what her daily life is like now.
Author's Response: It's too popular to leave it like the others. I just wanted to bring it up to the grade of my more recent works. Where I can actually say that it's position amongst the best on the site is earned and not just people finding fun little cliches they agree with. It will level out in a while, but there are just a few things that need to be done to allow the feeling of safety.
Date: 05/06/18 02:47 pm Title: Chapter 4: Bloody History
I am reading this from the beginning. I am liking the new direction this story has taken and very happy to read it over. Thanks missania I love this story. Hugs and hope you are doing well. 😘
Author's Response: Welcome back.
So far it's looked at quite fondly by a lot of readers and myself and I hope you enjoy it as much as everyone else.
And I too hope that you're doing well. It's odd to not see as many of your reviews.
Date: 05/06/18 04:14 am Title: Chapter 1: Verona's Chalice
Just a quick review but I plan on putting in more later. The original writing was very good in my opinion and the story concept was so awesome that this was one of my absolute favorites right behind The Dealer. But it did seem to go too fast and Verona was too much controlled/lead by the voice along with it felt like she just came into this brand new world with all this power with no issue, she was stronger, smarter and seemed to have skill pop up out of nowhere that I did not see the story continuing much further than being "Look how awesome I am I already beat all the bad guys into submission by chapter 20" then crashing and burning. Dont get me wrong I loved how it was but there is vastly more room for a deeper and cooler story in the rewrite
The rewrite has a stronger more realistic version of Verona and takes more time to learn, build and grow. The rewrite has placed this story back to being one of my absolute favorites on here the only issue is I cant wait for more! I hope to see more but also hope that you take is slow enough to avoid burn out, I really want to see how this story goes!
Author's Response: Burn out is really never setting a routine. For me, a routine is impossible, because I have so much to do now while working a job, and soon a second, depending on how much they need me to work. I have another chapter about half-done, so we'll see when I decide to do the other half.
As for the old version (mainly the power of Verona). She appears more powerful in this version, showing some almost cinematic scenarios to show off her strength. It's just that next chapter will show that she doesn't get a big head because of it, she doesn't risk exposing herself to people that might be weaker than her. And what's more, there's currently a person in this that is about double her strength.
Date: 05/03/18 09:10 pm Title: Chapter 1: Verona's Chalice
I wrote my review in the comment box when I favorited the story and I think I misunderstood what the comment box is for. Anyways here are the thoughts I had been writing before:
(As of chapter 4 or so) this is already a better story than twilight though that's not the biggest compliment XD. I really appreciate how you handle the main character's reaction to a new environment. Reasonable levels of distrust and realistic understanding of why people are helping her make the character very believable and relateable. There are some points the story has gotten a little stuck in my opinion, particularly on her internal dialouge about the incubus' magic and coming back a couple of times to how young she looks makes it a bit uncomfortable. I definitely have already formed my expectations about how this story and arc will play out but I look forward to being surprised.
(As of may 3rd)
I'm caught up and it's still pretty good. Been wondering when she will learn to dry her hair with magic/ when she will be shown interacting with her sister XD. The power plays are getting a little off-putting, particularly the focus on respect being deserved for summer when sitting in on the council and some special aura for Verona once they became progenitor. On it's own the presence isn't that strange but the issue with the chairs and where they should be seated being brought up 2-3 times was uncomfortable and the lengthy dialogue about how people would know Verona is different now made for some awkward moments. Before when Summer opted for a casual "equals" first name basis with Verona it was friendly but now their interactions are forecasting an uncomfortable amount of ego stroking. More and more the main character is becoming god and I worry about that turning the relationships with her peers into worshiper/servant sorts. Idk. Just some thoughts. You're doing great!
Author's Response: Comment box is for you, not for me. And thanks for the lengthy review.
A lot of this would be ego stroking. In the end, it's more a political situation where there's someone who's meant to essentially orchestrate the return to power for the mythological creatures people feared in the past. As Progenitors are, they are forced to distance themselves from living with limited life people, otherwise watching their friends and loved ones dying, and concerning the past, Progenitors were looked up to as gods, and inevitably, there will be people who will literally worship her. Someone like Lord Ignis being a completely accurate representation on how that is happening already (and that's before she becomes a Progenitor). But people like her friends and family are treated with complete respect and friendship. It's those who treat her with disrespect that will get treated with the expectation that they will be forced to bow to her.
I was doing a summary of Verona's character in general after her change from Blake and I came to the conclusion that her character hasn't changed much at all. Her thoughts toward different abilities has changed, but she talks in one chapter about her treating bullies and popular students in the same way he did friends. In summary, he would insult them and slander them if they deserve it. So much so, they began to treat Blake with some form of grudging respect. This carries over to Verona, who now has the strength to harm people physically, and does.
Ultimately, the world of non-humans shows that power also means control and there won't be any less of that until we start using human characters. (An arc is planned for that, but for now, it's politics for a while longer). Still, the chapter after the coming chapter for her sister and Callum. So, if you want a break from politics and ego-stroking, you'll find it there.
Date: 05/03/18 02:14 pm Title: Chapter 18: Power Reclaimed
Another great chapter!
I like how you made the plaque a real person with its (his?) own sense of humor. Previously it didn't make as much sense. Also, the jokes were good and fit the scene very well.
Two (very) minor complaints I thought about reading this chapter:
- the beginning sounds a bit unnatural, explaining why Kraven gave the book to the Thorntons. To me, it feels just a bit too much like explaining just for the reader's sake.
- in chapter 16 (I think) you first mentioned Flameburst, and I thought that the axe and Flameburst are perhaps one and the same, as it turned out to be. Between the diary section and the "real" story section, there seems to be a bit of a gap in some chapters. For example, I would have liked that Verona realises what the axe really is and think "wow, this axe isn't the ordinary weapon". In this chapter, Verona already calls the axe Flameburst despite the story not telling they're the same, only hinting at it in a journal entry.
I don't know if I'm comprehensible enough, but anyway, great work.
Author's Response: For the first part. Kraven is explaining it for a reader's sake. Except not for you. Verona is reading it to, isn't she? And the reasoning for things like that has to be explained to Verona in an effort for her to develop an understanding for the tribes.
As for Flameburst. It didn't seem all that important to have a eureka moment with it. It didn't play as big a part as Kraven Tares being the plaque and it also wasn't utilized as much in chapter 16 or 17, specifically only being used as a method to threaten Lord Ignis. As for how she would have been able to figure it out, well, in chapter 16, the journal entry mentions that it was returned to the Targons who then gave it to the Thorntons. While there is no direct reference that it is the weapon called Flameburst, her being able to use it as a pureblood vampire does suggest that it is, being that the Thorntons never needed pureblood weapons of any kind (and they would have been kept as mementos by the half-vampires).
Thank you for the review. But these specific concerns are deliberately done in some cases. Kraven's journal always explained too much, as it was the only thing he could expect to leave behind. As for the axe, I see your concerns there, but quite simply, my decision might have been more to better portray Verona's intelligence, which in this story is more imperative than her badassery factor. There's just too much to consider without fawning over the axe.
Date: 05/03/18 05:23 am Title: Chapter 18: Power Reclaimed
Hahahahahaha lmfao """""""“You’re filthy,” I grumble.
Three hundred years without water does that to you.
“I’m throwing you in the bath when we get back to the manor, I swear,” I grumble.
I can’t swim!
“You don’t have arms! I -- I’m not getting into this.”""""""
This cracked me up... I seriously love the new way shes getting info. Since she has no voice in her head she seems more of her own person. I deff like where this is going. And im extremely excited to see where this goes. This chapter had me laughing pretty good.
Can't wait for more c:
Author's Response: Definitely one of my favorite exchanges between Kraven and Verona. It shows how used to complaining about his scenario Kraven is and how Verona is acclimating to the type of person he is. Even ignoring that, it's still one of the better bits of banter in the entire story and that's saying something, considering this story's dialogue is much improved over the previous version.
I'm about halfway through the next version. As for what it will be. I added the "torture" tag to the story for it.
Date: 05/03/18 05:02 am Title: Chapter 18: Power Reclaimed
Woot! More Fangs! it feels like I'm playing Vampire: the Masquerade, except with better characters and less edgy goth kids reciting bad poetry. I really like the changes you have made since this story was first written.
Author's Response: Lol. The tabletop game or the video game? I played the video game, but now I'm remembering the club near the beginning of the game and comparing it to Red Line. Nowhere near as important, but quite amusing regardless.
Date: 05/03/18 01:50 am Title: Chapter 1: Verona's Chalice
I enjoyed the story the first time but the rewrite is significantly better. This has to be by far the best story I have read in a long time.
Author's Response: Yeah. I think so too. The old one lacked direction and Person called it video game-esque. I can't help but agree.
Date: 05/03/18 12:34 am Title: Chapter 18: Power Reclaimed
Nicely done! Its minor but I do wonder what will become of the "applauding blood" that Kraven was so worried about preserving?
Author's Response: It's now buried in a tomb beneath one of his greatest pieces of art. A suitable burial one would think.
Date: 04/25/18 05:24 pm Title: Chapter 1: Verona's Chalice
Lol I love games but im having withdrawls haha. People havent been updating and lately some weird stories have been coming out id love some updates to your other stories. But iv been playing the new God of War
You should do a god of war style....... Even though you kinda did with (the betrayer)
Author's Response: God killing stuff? It's a lot of work to get inspiration from other people as opposed to myself. As I've been creating one, I find that it's a lot harder to build off other's ideas rather than creating inspiration. That doesn't mean I won't work to make the game release as well as I can, but for other people's ideas, it's so much harder when there's nothing to work toward with the exception of maybe it will be enjoyable. When I can't find inspiration and give myself disappointing work, then I have doubts it would work well.
Date: 04/22/18 04:52 pm Title: Chapter 17: Snapping the Stalemate
So far, you're doing a very good job of rewriting the story. If I recall correctly, after 16 chapters the original was a bit further in the action, while now you've decided with going a bit slower, which, at least in my opinion, is very much preferable. In the original Verona was a bit distant for me, with the story describing her train of thought less. It's a problem for many that they just make the main character do thing after thing without ever stopping to think.
Now Verona is much more reasonable and realistic, what with the slower pace of accepting her new gender, powers etc. The combat training is better, too (for some maybe not though, it was cool before too), with Verona not automatically being a god with her axe. Hopefully she does learn about all her abilities, but not too fast :)
One other thing you did better in the rewrite is describing Verona physically: now it's much clearer that she basically seems like a little girl. In the future chapters, maybe bring her appearance even more to light, with people treating her more like a girl and being patronizing toward her?
Thanks for yet another great story
Author's Response: I love your review. Not because it completely compliments almost everything I've done, but rather because you've represented every area that I particularly changed that I was concerned people weren't aware of and I greatly appreciate the effort gone through to identify these details. It's particularly that the story is slower that means that other things will appear in the future.
It's particularly the character stopping to think that makes her thought stream clearer and also allows the reader to see her as intelligent. It allows me to introduce politics as an opinion based concept, where people identify with the character's opinions more and less with their own opinions and have fun seeing those things. It also allows people to acclimate to the fighting as being fraught with thinking as opposed to clear actions only. It would seem bizarre to have a thinker suddenly go blank when they start fighting, but it would also result in a more complex fighting style. Verona using her weapon sheathing as a way to manipulate her weapon's movement and preparing traps being a clear representation of her thought process.
In this version, I changed her into a more accepting person. Not necessarily slower in accepting her new gender, but in this case, faster. Its things like understanding to use magic and learning to fight that is slower. Particularly because they are harder and more realistic than the original. I stopped wanting Verona to feel like she was being manipulated by a puppetmaster and wanted her to start leading her own path. It also meant that I changed Lord Summer Thornton to become a protector and not a jailer.
There are a few things for that too. I didn't want her represented as a complete beauty. I figured each Progenitor would be a very different extreme and Verona would be childish. I didn't like the original one, because it seemed too stereotypical, what's more, I liked the idea of it being a challenge for her to accept people's romantic intentions and also in the future, her goals to bring this appearance up. It's not an immediate problem... but in the future, you'll understand how it can be a problem.
Thanks again for your review, and I hope to see more of them to come when I post some more chapters.
Date: 04/19/18 08:02 pm Title: Chapter 13: Praised For Hypocrisy
Very well written, I could feel the conflict within her head. Was Verona accidentally using her powers in the garden?
I'm loving the rewrite so far, not that the original was bad, but this is even better.
Author's Response: No, she wasn't. But in this version emotions strongly influence the use of magic, because emotions change what we believe we need. That's why Verona somewhat unintentionally used magic on her sister. This also changes the view of people who know who she is, seeing her as a ticking timebomb as sorts. Summer didn't explode at her and has yet to treat her with great disrespect for that reason. There is another reason, of course, all the tribes respected the Progenitors, even if they didn't protect them as much as they did the Vampire tribes and he's just passing on that respect to the future Progenitor.
And I'm glad you like it. Everyone else seems to refer to the new version with somewhat grudging respect, enjoying it but missing the old version. I just have to sweep that aside as "absence makes the heart grow fonder". I'm extremely thankful that you agree with my own sentiments.
Date: 04/19/18 02:54 pm Title: Chapter 17: Snapping the Stalemate
Really enjoying the rewrite thus far. Some aspects feel slightly disappointing to me, but I'd say that's mainly due to nostalgia for the original version. The combat lessons feel less enticing than the original, but the character development flows much nicer as a result. The changes with Verona's status as a vampire seem to be the main reason for this, and even though I miss some of the original combat lessons and the development of the relationship with her human family. The original seemed to back you into a corner with an overpowered character from the start limiting what you could do with the story. I'd almost lost hope that the story would continue in any form, but greatly appreciate that it did. I'll be on the edge of my seat waiting to see what the future has in store for Verona and the others.
Thank you for another brilliant story.
Author's Response: A lot of this is to come. The training, albeit can't be changed, but the talking with her human family will come at some point, just not "yet" in fact, I am currently writing a short conversation with her sister. Her old friends and her sister will become a greater part of the story in the future. And it seems to be the case with everyone. It's nostalgia for sure. I've got a few other objective opinions that deem this to be the better version, but in the end, the story has a lot of places that it has yet to go that the original did. There's just far more meat and you'll just have to eat more.
Date: 04/18/18 05:16 am Title: Chapter 17: Snapping the Stalemate
Can't wait to see what happens in the Maze.
I just started this story, so i only know the newer version. From what everyones said in the comments i'd love to read the older version too.
Author's Response: Send me a message through the contact button, I'll send the old version google doc back along the line.
Date: 04/17/18 06:43 pm Title: Chapter 1: Verona's Chalice
Cant really say if i like the old or new version more than the other yet.
Definitly agree with natural growth being better than the voice.
But i at the moment i feel like too much of the old version is removed.
Almost no ssues with changing gender this time, no hint of romance, less high school drama and really miss the fights.
I really liked the high school action fantasy feel it had in the old version.
Now its more like a political fantasy.
Though the vampire part shines a lot stronger this time around.
But i guess its still a bit early to say how it will really turn out.
Definitly a lot more potential for evolution this time around.
Still love it and cant wait for more:)
Author's Response: I felt that there were other things I made that catered more to the romance. Dew Drop at least does a great job at creating relationships the main character doesn't want, but slowly grows into. Win A Wish is the school drama, granted, there's still a lot more to come and I haven't touched it in a while for these stories and the fights will come, I just felt that meaningless fights made for an odd sight. Such as the fact a HUNTER attacked the school and entered the grounds. They did that for drugs, but I still think they would go for lower hanging branches than that. Attacking the school is undoubtedly a way to just outright get killed.
Romance will come, but I want it to be more natural. To be a love that blossoms from a friendship, like those from Dew Drop, but also for it to not be that of perfect visuals. Fights will also come, but for the time, it's unfair to expect the new Verona to be a god at fighting. That might not be necessary, but the entire story's flow suits the fewer major fights. You'll see more fights come from within non-human society than HUNTER now. Granted, HUNTER fights are planned and will become a very big thing in the future.
The political fantasy was a choice of my own. With Legends of the Battlefield scrapped, I wanted something that shined with a bit of politics. It might not be something everyone likes, but I like the almost exciting flow of things with an intelligent strategist and tactician running rings around everyone. That the entire non-human society would mostly be run that way now rather than through strength alone.
As for the vampire changes, I wanted a kind of unique version of vampires to appear. It was there in the original, but in the new one, they are so much more. We discover so much from Kraven that we begin to feel ourselves become knowledgeable about these things just as naturally as Verona might. It's exhausting, but there's rewards that can come with knowing these things and... in the future, seeing them in action.
I'd say people expect a lot more to happen in these many words, but there's a lot more focus than the old story. To say things aren't there right now doesn't mean they won't happen, just that they haven't happened. For example; chapter 7 or 8 was when Verona became a Progenitor in the original. Chapter 18 will be when Verona does in this version. That means anything that follows will be essentially what followed the original Fangs. There's a lot that isn't there from the old version because it hasn't come yet.
Date: 04/13/18 04:07 pm Title: Chapter 16: Wrapped in Their Own Web
It's nice to see 'Fangs' getting a re-VAMP!! I'm really liking the new direction this story is taking!
Author's Response: Ouch. Between you and the plaque, I think I have my days cut out for me. And we'll see where it goes, I definitely have some plans for the coming arc.
Date: 04/13/18 07:58 am Title: Chapter 17: Snapping the Stalemate
I would like to wholeheartedly thank you for this incredible story
While I did enjoy the story prior to the rewrite, this story feels more as a whole.
So far, I have done nothing but enjoy it, and hope to see it come to an end like it deserves!
Again, thank you!
Author's Response: It's been a pleasure to write to such an overwhelmingly positive response. I knew that the people who liked Fangs would like the new version and it no longer insults the intelligence of the readers or the other characters, rather pointing out more faults in them that they acknowledge. The old Fangs didn't make me proud that it was a favorite of over a hundred people on the site, this new one deserves that.
Date: 04/12/18 05:09 am Title: Chapter 1: Verona's Chalice
Love the story. Very intriguing and fun to read. However, as this is a rewrite is there still a place to find the original. I'm very interested in seeing how things have changed between the two. It will also give me something to read as I wait for more chapters to be released. Thank you.
Author's Response: I have it in a google doc, but I'd prefer to send it via email, so if you are interested in reading it, send me a message through the contact button. I'll send the doc to your email.
Date: 04/12/18 12:34 am Title: Chapter 17: Snapping the Stalemate
Grrrr need more me need more......and wow she so mean...
Author's Response: She's threatened, jailed and blackmailed. She has yet to kill, though, so that's nice. But in fairness, non-human society does tend to have extreme characters and Verona has adapted well.
Date: 04/12/18 12:01 am Title: Chapter 2: Redefining Logic
Ah so it was him. See I thought it was Verona talking to Blake. My bad, sorry. Still I'm loving this remaster. I need to keep reading my interest is piqued!
Author's Response: No, in the old version it was Verona talking to Blake, but in this version, it doesn't exist. It's just that the replacement for the voice is coming next chapter.
Date: 04/11/18 11:51 pm Title: Chapter 17: Snapping the Stalemate
Oh ho. I like. Pretty steemy.
So on another note. Before the rewrite. Was she going to get with another Progenitor that she was to creat or what?
And does this rewrite mean they are gone or do you have something sceeming around in that head of yours? :)
Author's Response: In the original version, the risk of allowing another Progenitor to suddenly appear was dangerous, because the only reliable person was actually her, so she was going to horde the Progenitor's power. As for this version... I have schemes and one of them should be a fun little plot point.
Date: 04/11/18 11:23 pm Title: Chapter 1: Verona's Chalice
I absolutely love this story, I remember reading the original take a while back and loved it, and this new version is absolutely splendid as well. I love your writing style and the stories you have posted here, the waiting is what kills me!
Author's Response: The waiting is what I use to plan new chapters :3
Date: 04/11/18 10:38 pm Title: Chapter 1: Verona's Chalice
The Journal was definitely a great avantage I like how you had it to where Craven made the journal is awesome great details loved it and that's why I think I loved it before the re write because she had pretty great avantages
Author's Response: Well, technically after chapter 18 she will have more advantages than she ever had in the original.
Date: 04/11/18 07:15 pm Title: Chapter 1: Verona's Chalice
Oh one more thing it seems like she a full vampire is she? She doesn't have the voice in her head I miss that
Author's Response: Gone. It was one of my most hated aspects of the original version and created an absurd amount of plot holes. It doesn't exist anymore and instead, there's another plan in place that doesn't include that voice.
Date: 04/11/18 06:57 am Title: Chapter 1: Verona's Chalice
Ooooh this is amazing, I'm liking this rewrite so far. I love the plaque, I hope we get to see more of her!
Author's Response: Her? The plaque is closer to a him, the reason why will be vaguely mentioned next chapter (17). But he'll play a key role in the future.
Date: 04/10/18 12:41 pm Title: Chapter 16: Wrapped in Their Own Web
Thanks for the update and all the time on the rewrite. I miss some of the High School coming of age and romance story line, hope it doesnt dissapear completely.
Author's Response: Romance will come later, as for the high school part. We have to assume that besides accepting the femininity, which in this version, Blake has been more open to, that he went through must of his coming of age prior to attending Thornton Academy, which makes sense, because Blake would have been in his last year of high school. The romance became something that Blake wants to be more certain of and same with potential suitors besides Scylla. Callum wants to ensure that he's a close friend with Verona first, and Verona doesn't know what she thinks of others, she only knows of who looks good and who doesn't and she isn't that vapid in choosing people she might love. Those are imperative changes which I felt would be logical when thinking about the way the new Verona is.
Date: 04/10/18 11:30 am Title: Chapter 1: Verona's Chalice
Sorry didnt mean natural. But the voice and power was in the blood so was kinda natural :p
Miss the voice but I understand. And can't wait to see where this rewrite goes. So far im loving it and can't wait for updates
Author's Response: I changed the voice into something extremely logical and will come in chapter 18. It's not as if I destroyed any way for Verona to achieve advantages, the journal being one example, but at chapter 18, you'll find out *why* the voice would become so unnecessary.
Date: 04/10/18 03:19 am Title: Chapter 15: Proof of Perfection
This is my favorite story on this app hands down. I have been waiting for a while for you to post a new chapter. I am so excited to read it!
Author's Response: I hope you mean all of it and not just one chapter or you're going to be very confused, lol.
Date: 04/09/18 10:53 pm Title: Chapter 16: Wrapped in Their Own Web
I love it so far. I miss some things from the original story though.
Like the naturalness of her combat skills.
And a couple other things like her sister
But great. Iv definitely missed it. And very glad to see an update. Cant wait for more.
Author's Response: Her combat skills weren't natural, it was something crafted by the voice and then shown to be not even strong.
Her sister is still there, but she has a natural level of doubt.
It's a lot of stuff like that which spurred the reword. There were some issues that didn't work well. The voice happened to be the biggest reason as a whole.
Date: 04/09/18 09:32 pm Title: Chapter 16: Wrapped in Their Own Web
It's great to see this story back!
I'm sad to say that I can't remember more than the bones of it before the rewrite, but I can't wait to see where you continue now!
Author's Response: Probably better, because a lot of reviews I've been getting are "I love it, but I miss 'this part'." I understand people love some parts on the old version, but in some cases, it would have been important to mention which parts they loved prior to the rework just so I knew what people wanted to see more. I guess absence makes the heart grow fonder.
Date: 04/09/18 04:56 pm Title: Chapter 16: Wrapped in Their Own Web
Interesting. Decent story, looking forward to how this ends.
Author's Response: There's a lot of stuff to go and technically it has less than the previous version. Not certain an end is coming soon.
Date: 04/09/18 03:34 pm Title: Chapter 16: Wrapped in Their Own Web
Ummm very different better under standing this now. Good rework of this
Author's Response: Thank you. The rework was meant to provide better explanations and also altering some of the scenes that didn't work. From what I understand, most of it works well with the exception of some of the missing fights that I felt were quite plentiful.
Date: 04/09/18 07:51 am Title: Chapter 8: Magic and a Melee
Poo :( I like her natural badassness fighting skills. This saddens me x.x
Love the update so far. But very sad though x.x
Author's Response: I felt it made little sense, so a faster natural growth replaces the Badass there. With that and her sharp tongue it makes up for it all.
Date: 04/09/18 05:57 am Title: Chapter 1: Verona's Chalice
I'm liking the rewrite, but I miss some of the tension between her and the cyclopes, along with a *certain* fight across the school grounds. I guess we just wait till they come in later. Either way, I still love it.
Author's Response: I understand. She was probably the most interesting character from the original. My decision to remove her was for the betterment of other characters.
Date: 04/05/18 12:32 am Title: Chapter 1: Verona's Chalice
I miss this one update please.
Author's Response: Literally in the process of a rewrite. It's on 88k-89k which means it should be nearing its completion. Why it's taking so long is because it changes a lot of things, specifically filling in plot holes, making more likable characters, and providing more understandable and logical differences for vampires and other non-human races. It should still be recognizable and have a bunch of interactions that are deeply necessary for understanding the import that might not have been there in the past -- specifically the difference between pureblood vampires and Progenitors.
Date: 03/07/18 04:42 am Title: Chapter 15: Proof of Perfection
Please please please continue this story. It makes me sad that there is so much untapped potential of the Story!
Author's Response: It's getting a complete rewrite to make it better. It's currently about 20k words away from catching up. This solves plot holes and intimates the cast of characters that have now been cast in the story.
Date: 12/25/17 03:22 am Title: Chapter 1: Verona's Chalice
Ah true true. I just can't wait to read it and all. Im running out of shit to read hahahaha no one is updating any of my fave
Author's Response: I have a Dew Drop chapter nearly finished. Just got finishing touches and editing and you might have something.
Date: 12/11/17 08:05 pm Title: Chapter 1: Verona's Chalice
But I like the fact that they are both so on catching on to each other's interest
Author's Response: I get that, and they are still going to like each other, but at that point, if they so clearly love each other and they can see them, then there's no point in holding it over their heads. If they're that oblivious, then that would extend to more than their social nature. That needs to change and it will and has already changed. There has to be a moment where there's more friendliness than love, where there's an allowance of trust and political understanding. The development of a relationship with the strongest family and the strongest being. There's a lot of development there, but most of all, I want to first develop Verona's understandings before I even consider her to develop her love life. She will, of course, be interested, but much like a noble caste, there should be at least the understanding that if one were to love someone from the half-vampire families, one would have to be a half-vampire. There are comparisons that need to be drawn, which is what Summer in this "original" version is clearly vying for.
Date: 12/03/17 04:50 pm Title: Chapter 1: Verona's Chalice
So pretty much besides the characters everything is pretty much changing? Hmmmm I agree that a few things needed to change but I hope doesn't completely change. Hope she gets to hang with her sis more. Are the wolves staying the wolf's. I liked the cute embarrassment between her and cal. Well can't wait for the new stuff :)
Author's Response: A lot of pointless characters are gone, though the core concept is staying the same. The relationship between Callum and Verona is becoming more believable instead of being two oblivious people referring to their love to each other and neither catching on. You'll just have to see.
Date: 12/02/17 02:01 am Title: Chapter 15: Proof of Perfection
I need the rewrite of this story already x.x
I just reread it now I need the new one lol
Author's Response: It's taking a long time to get working. I'm currently back at the school part of the story (at 30k words) but it's hard to rewrite the characters in a better way, however, I can't reuse the old stuff without it coming off as a strange transition. Mostly I am rewriting what I've done before for it to suit the style.
Date: 09/05/17 06:03 pm Title: Chapter 11: An Opinion of a Friend
Great like seeing you have plenty of reading for me.. : )
I am kinda merging your story with a field at my old school.
Author's Response: That was the point. A lot of people will recognize the field because we all have similar fields in our own schools. I've been to a lot myself and they tend to be linked with different sports goals which are switched around by season. I have never seen a school that doesn't have one except for preschool or kindergartens. It's nice to have ways readers can put themselves in the place of the character. It's the main reason I write in first person as opposed to second or third person.
Date: 09/04/17 12:58 pm Title: Chapter 3: Cappucino
I haven't been into much of the vamp craze either.. I enjoy EOF's Dark Rhelms stories.. . I am really enjoying this perspective ..Great writing!
Author's Response: I think that the doubtful approach to the entire thing, which is shown by the sister seems to bring a bit more realistic. The fact that even though she saw the hunters, she doubted vampires were even real.