Reviews For Spider cave
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Reviewer: KawaiiQueenMe Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 07/29/15 08:14 am Title: Chapter 1

i like it i think... i really hate spiders... but good story maybe...

Reviewer: tornadomeister Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 07/29/15 01:03 am Title: Chapter 1

An absolutely fantastic start!
Very cool subject matter, I love the use of the spiders, would love to have more description of them and maybe even something spider related happen with the main character (driders are hot _(ツ)_/ )
For being a not native speaker you do a pretty good job of grammar and phrasing. I would absolutely love for you to spend more time really fleshing out and describing what is happening to the character (especially during transformations) and how the character is feeling: ideally from their perspective. The character should talk about themselves, and how what's happening to them feels.
It can also be more believable for the character to struggle more with their identity, be more surprised by such an unbelievable thing happening to them, and gradually grow more used to their new fate over time.
I can't wait for you to write more and figure out how far down this rabbit hole goes: how do the spiders initiate this change? why are they doing it? what happens to the other victims? who is the guy cutting open the cartoons? can their please be more transformations in more intense detail?
Please keep up the great work!

Author's Response: There seems to be a consensus on my lack of description ^^ As you've correctly guessed, i try to write the story uniquely form the point of view of the main caracter, i will not describe anything she's not aware of. There indeed something spidery going on, but i'm not going toward driders (for now) (i actually didn't even know drider was an actual word, but i agree with you, they're extremely hot ). Thanks for your support :)

Reviewer: Johanna Bender Signed starstar Report
Date: 07/28/15 06:54 pm Title: Chapter 1

Seemed like you rushed through it, since your descriptions re very brief and almost no labor was spent describing his reaction to all of these terrifying and bizarre occurrences. Your first sentence is very weak, since he had already fallen off his bike, but the sentence states that he is falling. Also, as an example, when the spider bites him, it should be in the back of his neck, rather than in back of his neck.

Author's Response: Thanks for your honest review :) That's the kind of help i'm looking for. About the typo, i've spell-checked once or twice, but i guess that wasn't enough. As for the mental description, i always fear to get too deep into it and slow down the pace of the story when actualy a lot is happening at the same time. But i guess you're right, my descriptions are a little bit light.

Reviewer: Sanro Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 07/28/15 04:59 pm Title: Chapter 1

Its awesome 😘😍

Reviewer: Jacks-O-Lance Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 07/28/15 07:50 am Title: Chapter 1

Well that was interesting; not bad for your first time... Definitely some mistakes, but a good read nonetheless... XD

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it :) I've been reading a lot of stories here and i'm trying to write something different. If you could be so kind as to point out those mistakes, i'd be able to avoid them in the future.

Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it :) I've been reading a lot of stories here and i'm trying to write something different. If you could be so kind as to point out those mistakes, i'd be able to avoid them in the future.

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