Date: 09/20/18 10:35 pm Title: Chapter 10: Mental Flow
Misaania, I have really enjoyed reading this story. The theme is dark, but watching Tara overcome her handicap is very uplifting. It's a roller coaster, so I expect some ups and downs.
Too many TG stories are just guy transforms, then it's rainbows, unicorns, and sex. I believe that three elements are needed to take a story from ok to great. Detail, conflict, and suspense. You have very generous helpings of all 3, and it really elevates the story.
I hope you continue this story, I really want to see how it plays out.
Thank you for writing.
Author's Response: Sorry for the length of time it took for me to get back to this. There's a few aspects of the story that I feel are unnecessary and only serve to create questions toward the main character. The matter where he only feels sadness in response to himself and one friend as opposed to the other friends who lost their lives falls to perhaps an oversight on my part. Much like Fangs and the writing style of Dew Drop, I want to attempt a rewrite for A Leg to Stand On and The Dealer. The fact is, both could improve and have plot holes filled with a rewrite. When I'll get to it still remains to be seen, but I hope to do so when I'm conclude the first part of Fangs.
Date: 04/19/18 08:21 pm Title: Chapter 10: Mental Flow
Well, this is one great story, too. Your level of writing has steadily increased from some of your other works, but you still keep that clever imagination.
I love the idea of the main character being limited in some way and having to learn to live with it - much like Hush by Clarity or other such works. It shines through that you have really put your best into this as all the terms and methods with the leg and doctors seem real, at least to my untrained eye.
By the way, I think "A leg to stand on" is a great name for this story, maybe even has some meaning other than the prosthesis?
Author's Response: This one is... I would actually like to rewrite this as a later stage, too. The main reason being that it's a story that strongly relies on powerful main characters as opposed to the other story that relies upon the world. I'm a writer with expansive ideas, but my emotional depth has only just started developing. It's a good idea, but not necessarily a well-implemented one in some places.
I believe Clarity got her idea for Hush from A Leg to Stand On. And like me, she was planning a different type of disability. In my case, I was thinking about deafness, but I've forgotten what she was planning. As for the researching I went into for all of this... every doctor will have their own methods and not all of them will jump on scientific names to choose solutions. If they do, they might just confuse their patient. As for other things; Phantom Limb Pain is almost always going to show up in any amputee. Hilariously, you might find that the worrying situations where some of the main characters in the stories on this site might have that for their changed genitalia. Also, all the drugs included are real and might be prescribed to Tara. I'd even go so far as to suggest that PTSD medication wouldn't be a surprise. Also, prostheticist terms are the real deals, even the machine used to scan Tara's stump. It's relatively new, but casting it will usually be more accurate.
Yeah, as for the name. It was just a pun. But it does have a few meanings. It's particularly referring to the harshness that the main character is forced to endure and their need to find something to help them, but in addition, it's about their missing leg. It's got a few meanings as well as being a pun.
Date: 04/17/18 06:12 pm Title: Chapter 10: Mental Flow
First chapter i kinda figured this shit is way too negative for me.
But i decided to keep reading a few more chapters, and soon enough i was hooked.
The details are great, and its obvious you have done your research.
Great emotional, mindbogling turmoil.
Can lie. This is just very very interesting.
Not much positivity to be seen yet but its all feels very realistic if such a thing a brain transplant was possible.
Seems impossible to tell where this story is headed.
Definitly a great read so far!
Author's Response: Sorry for the delay in the reply.
This entire story was never going to be a happy one. Much like many situations where brain transplant happens, not many people will be happy with the results and the new hand they have. Too much learning about a body that isn't theirs, not identifying with what they are now, having a new family or an old family that no longer sees you as biologically theirs. It's why there are so many issues for the main character to deal with. There's learning about their new body and also learning to live as a cripple, his old family no longer wants to see him and also isn't legally his family and massive problems sliding together like the storage of old memories leaking into the new ones. It's a s*** show, but it should be expected from the basic average male turned female.
I spent an absurd amount of time researching different things, drugs, ailments, prosthetics and the whole brain errors were my own concept for using a bleeding edge technology like brain transference. We can't expect a brain to behave like a computer, it would still remember natural thoughts and old memories buried in the back and by forcing in new ones.
It's not going to be a happy story, but an accurate one (with the one exception being her fast acclimation to a prosthesis) it will be.
Date: 05/24/17 03:57 am Title: Chapter 1: Tetraplegia
I finished this in one day. Progress was great! I felt the writing improved with each chapter and it all fit a lot better. I look forward to seeing more chapters in the future.
One of the most complex story plots I've found so far and very interesting.
Author's Response: To be fair. This entire project is outside my mold anyway. I'm used to writing fantastical stories with one-dimensional unemotional characters as the lead. This story is different, and it still had to improve. Still, the way you speak about it makes it seem like I'm some amateur, which looking at my portfolio- I am not.
Date: 05/23/17 07:37 pm Title: Chapter 2: Stumped
Great story progression... I can't stop reading it even though I wish it was more edited. Sentence structure and all aside, you've definitely drawn me into the story and made me want to keep reading which is the most important part of writing a story.
Author's Response: I mean, it's great that you didn't just one star and leave it like that... But if you're still reading, then the structure matters less. And what's more, your review has gotten smaller as opposed to bigger. I don't mind getting low ratings, but I prefer the ratings to be accompanied by a large amount of text to improve the writer. What's more your statement about structure is personal as I find people complaining less about that and more about my side characters being simplistic. If you want me to improve, vagueness just infuriates the writer.
Date: 05/23/17 07:09 pm Title: Chapter 1: Tetraplegia
This is a great plot and I was excited to read this story but the writing is hard to follow. Most of the time I found it very unlikely for the character to think or say what they did. It just didn't fit right or seem natural.
Great idea, just needs more time being edited is all.
Author's Response: For a two star review, you lack any effort to improve the writing in the first place. First you say it's unlikely for a character to think or say something like they do, but that all depends on the uniqueness of a person, which means that it can't be fixed and if it was, the stories plot would be thrown off, because characters guide the plot. And the natural conversation, while I can say that there are flaws in that, you have to be more specific. What parts? In what way? And edited, do you mean spelling errors? Punctuation? Specifics are required.
Date: 02/24/17 12:50 am Title: Chapter 9: Reconnecting
Finally a very nice update on this story and loved it because you do justice to her and everything so thanks and hopefully you are well RL 😘😻
Author's Response: I wouldn't say I do Tara justice at all. Justice would be refusing to even consider the last part of the chapter as a possibility and not forcing her to consume large quantities of drugs to keep her emotional and psychological state as a normality. What she needs is a fantastic life where she need not worry about losing the rest of her leg and finding a true love. Instead, the next love will be hollow and her leg will always be troubling. As for the hollow love, I actually mentioned that as a spoiler that will better cause people to be worried about the future besides the threat that Janice mentioned.
Date: 02/22/17 04:28 am Title: Chapter 9: Reconnecting
Great chapter. Been waiting for an update on this one for awhile.so many stories so little time
Author's Response: Sounds like my life. "So little stories so little time". I love all of my stories, mainly those with special places in people's hearts. Dealer, Betrayer, A Leg to Stand On and Fangs are amongst those. I tend to find it hard to give people what they want, but at some point, people will be happy when I do give them what they want.
Date: 01/23/17 09:19 pm Title: Chapter 1: Tetraplegia
One of the best stories on this whole site. Character development is deep and the situation is unique. I hope to have more parental gas-lighting throughout as the psychological is my favorite part to this story. However, I think the very obvious set up for the emotional attachment to James is pretty obvious but what is perfect in this world?
Author's Response: Only now saw this, so sorry for the delay in response. I felt that creating a story that was more about something different to a gender swap was important. I can see so many stories but I wanted to provide something where we argue which is worse, the loss of the leg, or the loss of your sex. The answer should be clear there, but providing the main character with a shifting identity might change our perception on that answer. I have a plan for a specific character very soon in the future, but that's neither here nor there, but the plan is to have the mc crave a closer relationship with someone that will last longer. There are two pairs of parents in this story and there is literally only one of them who is even somewhat interested in the psyche of the main character, I think I'm nearing that explanation soon too. Lastly, James being perfect, in a way, I wanted to create a contrast to what was shown in the story. Of course, he is not perfect, but that has more to do with his family and his relationships with the main character.
I've been thinking about working on making the next chapter, but I've been having trouble setting up for the two big plot points coming up. Like many of my other stories, a big plot point is coming up and it's hard for me to reach there.
Date: 07/30/16 11:37 pm Title: Chapter 1: Tetraplegia
I wasn't a member when I read this, but I wanted to retroactively do a review. I love the level of research that Misaania put into making it realistic and the level of detail is great. Watching the tentative relationships form with this whole new life is very interesting to behold.
This is probably one of my favorite stories on the site and I hope it comes back. I completely understand that other stories capture the imagination and sometimes it is just hard to write, but I wanted to share my love with this tale.
Author's Response: Saw this review, and you're actually not the only one to have a similar liking to the tale. Sadly, it just so happens there are two extremes in the audience. People believe that because I do not suffer from the injury, I should not write about it (obviously, I ignore these people in the same way I ignore SJWs). And then there are people who believe that the mc's issues arising from the sex change is enough and the leg is going too far. To these, I need to make a clear statement, but I have specified them below in other review responses.
Inevitably, I will return to this writing, but I've been pressured to do something with my life. To take a step forward to prove that I am someone different. To prove that I am someone different, not to others, but to myself. I fear that my work is subpar, that my work is only good enough to be in the upper-echelons amongst other 'hobbyist' writers. This won't work for me. I dream of becoming a writer and as a result, I've stopped focusing on my work here and started on a massive project that I will attempt to publish. I will come back (hopefully very soon) and I hope you stick with this until then.
Date: 03/05/16 08:11 pm Title: Chapter 8: Normalcy, Contrary to Lunacy
Oh so amazing chapter and in the end she started enjoying things everything went well and I hope more fun for her in future thanks and excited for win a wish 😘
Author's Response: I'm planning on making it a little more comfortable. The whole story has been harsh and it's time to let it calm down and let Dane/Tara enjoy a more normal life.
Date: 03/05/16 01:09 pm Title: Chapter 8: Normalcy, Contrary to Lunacy
A good chapter and I'm still interested in the story.
Author's Response: That's awesome. There's still a lot to come. I spoke about a big twist in the past, I'm hoping to get there at some point in the future (not sure when, though).
Date: 03/04/16 07:34 am Title: Chapter 1: Tetraplegia
The amputated leg is a big letdown and a heavy burden for a body plus gender change. It could have been at the ankle or toes, or just badly scarred/shortened. It's just a bit much, over the top.
Author's Response: Sure, but if you feel that, then you don't need to read it. I wrote this for the case of research and not simply as a gender change. I've had enough reviews about it, but I'm not going to write it another way. It's either like this or it doesn't get written and I've got enough people who want to see it written.
Date: 03/04/16 05:48 am Title: Chapter 8: Normalcy, Contrary to Lunacy
“Tara, it’s good to see you. How are you feeling?” She asks.
Getting a little tired of that question. “I’m doing alright, Diane. Tara invited me over.”
DUN DUN DUUUUUN!!!! A mistake!!! *gasp
Author's Response: Not just that. Italics. Italics everywhere.
Date: 01/02/16 12:22 pm Title: Chapter 7: My Secrets
I wonder what Dane truly want, poor guy is turning into a real sap.
Back at chapter 2, I don't see any parents go and yell at their kids when they're hospitalized, ready to split or not. I'm sure some might get a little extreme and people could find one way or another to sympathize with them, but Dane? Man, he has changed...a lot.
Speaking of which, where is his mom during all of this? I don't suppose she is moping over her son in a hospital but it seems to me that everything of her is suddenly disconnected from Dane as well as him to herself, did I miss something important?
Also, why did UDMR decide to give Dane the boot after they'd done with him? Riley said that Patrice was kinda hopeless and he too knew she was the first to undergo the mind transference so her head might got roadkilled a little bit. But isn't it enough to convince him that all the numbers given by her are pretty much garbage because of that fact alone?
Correct me if I'm wrong, there is a crazy theory running on my mind right now but nah...screw it. Let's just say I've becomed too hooked with this to get ideas for fanfic. So yeah, I vote for "A leg to stand on".
Author's Response: Yeah. Dane gets s*** on throughout the entire story. While he's worried about himself, he has become worried about others and has every right to be fearful of his future.
Spoilers. Can't say a thing about the Mother. Just that there's a damn good reason why she hasn't shown up and why Dane hasn't thought of her.
UDMR also haven't given Dane the boot. Patrice has mixed up memories, but her facts are straight and she's just kinda stuck with an a****** of a boss. She's gonna show up later when Dane gets a bit more situated. They already promised to pay from his prosthetics and they also screwed with his school marks to allow him to get the classes he wanted.
I think I know what theory you have. And if that's the case then you probably know what I'm thinking which means you think you know what I'm planning. This is getting convoluted. You'll have to wait and see.
Date: 01/01/16 06:42 pm Title: Chapter 3: Who am I?
So to Dane's point of view, he sees that a part of Tara is still remain and it is bothering him. And thanks to the move in with her family, dude's been trying his best not to blur his own existance inside that remnant for the whole chap.
Just like how our boy put it, too complex. Yeah, got no clue to go from here, dunno if I could really follow this identity problem. Guess I'll keep on reading.
Author's Response: The whole idea of the story is trying to keep two people as two people. It's like having multiple personality disorder. It's a confusing experience and there's not easy way to explain or even understand it. I like this story because I try to explain everything that is going on. How Dane/Tara feels, what it's like to live without a leg and as someone different. It's a difficult story and tests my ability as a writer as well as the moral compasses of the readers. Stick around and maybe when things start to blur together you'll understand.
Date: 12/29/15 11:14 am Title: Chapter 7: My Secrets
When it comes to your story's you have left me in a annoying spot. Since I have been reading you work I am so used to your to your quality of writing in and story telling. That everything else pailes in comparison. And has left me very bored. I mean it as a complament.
I am very grateful that you have stayed on and done so much. As most even the best writers leave stuff half done and don't come back and are few and far between.
Oh yeah battlefield or win a wish please
Author's Response: Lol. I took it as a compliment before you specified. I'm honored you think that way, but there are still hidden gems amongst the stories out there and in my own honest opinion I'm certainly not even the best here. There are those better than me, which is why I keep trying to improve. Aim for the stars and don't settle with Pluto. We're all mortal and we can all improve and I look at my stories as ways to improve. I love writing and for me, my improvement is just amongst the journey for me. I'm glad that I can share this journey with you.
It's actually a big reason why I started the rolling and requests. I hate leaving my projects in the dust. They're all things I have a great love for and people will be able to show their love for these same projects. I can never forget about any of them and I have ideas for all of them.
Battlefield is coming next and it appears now the request queue has become the hit I've always wanted. With people requesting tasks of me I can give people the stories they like. As I said, I love my stories and I like to see the stories that everyone else loves.
Date: 12/29/15 02:26 am Title: Chapter 7: My Secrets
I vote for the new story but that depends on you and where you feel like you are in a leg to stand on.
Author's Response: There are a couple of chapters I'm messing with, but I've been waiting for some help from someone who is beta reading it before I plan anything else.
Date: 12/27/15 12:25 pm Title: Chapter 7: My Secrets
Your mystery story sounds a little intriguing, I'd like to see more of Leg though, it's quite unique and I find myself wanting to see Tara/Dane reach some sort of happy ending.
Author's Response: A Leg is special in that it's unique and it takes a lot of work to write. It's not easy. The research for amputations and psychology keep me very busy. So we'll see where we go with it.
Date: 12/26/15 04:56 am Title: Chapter 7: My Secrets
It's interesting. Reminds me of final Fantasy XIII. I'm assuming that something bad happens if you don't complete your prophesied duty?
Also ,Fangs please.
Author's Response: Nope. Nothing bad happens because you always complete the prophecy. Whether you want to or not. It's forced upon you, one way or another. Take that as you will, but if you think about it. If you're forced to one day do what you hate with a passion, wouldn't you too be bitter? If a man who was a pacifist had 'murderer' written on their back, they might kill themself. (The joke is by killing himself he'd become a murderer and it would be a self-fulfilling prophecy)
Date: 12/26/15 01:41 am Title: Chapter 7: My Secrets
Well this was a bit more than I was expecting from this story. Pretty neat stuff. I would add though that Dane told Henry about the transference blending Tara and Dane in the last chapter. And it seems odd that Dane hasn't thought of his mother at all since the transference. I wonder how much he remembers...
Legends isn't my favorite story of yours, but with some more mecha combat that might turn around. The snippet is good. It'd be interesting to see how that kind of setting plays out, and the prophecies are similar to the tattoos in Castaways that didn't get enough focus I think. I'd like to see more, but at the same time, I'd like to see a story where a character isn't massively outstripping others in power? I like your characters, but I'm curious to see you develop something new. Hope that makes sense and isn't confusing! Thanks for your writing though, seriously!
Author's Response: Oh, s***. He did? I hate it when I do that. I'll fix it asap. As for the Mother thing. She's being left out deliberately by me. He remembers, but his life has been crazy enough as it is. As for why I left it out... Let's say Dane/Tara has a lot more to deal with than the opinions of others and her leg.
The tattoos of Castaways was literally an appearance thing. Something I did a lot of as some sort of hope that 'maybe' it would be used for something. When I first started writing stories, I used exposition to force the explanation of things that may or may not matter. The tattoos were one of those things and they just became a way of identifying Heaven's Falls. There wasn't any prophecies resulting from those tattoos. The tattoos in the 'mystery story' are different in that they don't cause the power and just grant an idea of the future. As for the character. I f****** love the character. Let's just say, her main method of winning isn't by stabbing someone in the neck. I'm glad you like my characters and writing and hope you stick around for the 'mystery story'. I'll say honestly, it's my favorite project start so far.
Date: 12/26/15 01:05 am Title: Chapter 7: My Secrets
Legends? Fun. I won't count myself on the mystery story, and I honestly don't mind either, so it's up to others. This story, though, is still.... I'm not sure what word I'm looking for. It's odd, different. I cant' really judge it well.
Author's Response: This story is the only story that lacks any sort of combat. It's strange in the sense that the enemy isn't physical but mental and emotional. It's incredibly difficult to write the story and you might just be seeing the inner turmoil that I face writing the chapters. They aren't easy to write.
Date: 12/25/15 11:03 pm Title: Chapter 7: My Secrets
hmm that little excerpt was rather interesting. is that also a TG story or just a story straight on?
if you have enough ideas for it you haven't deigned to use elsewhere... is it open to voting on? and if so what should we refer to it by?
Author's Response: It's a TG story. But I was considering making it a normal story.
It's open to voting, though it has no name for now. It's just 'mystery project' for now.
Date: 12/25/15 08:25 pm Title: Chapter 7: My Secrets
Merry Christmas and this was a amazing chapter and it got intense in the end never thought her first movie date Will go like this and I like the new story and vote for it also I vote for fangs and excited for battlefield 😍😘
Author's Response: Ha. The new story might be worked on for a while before the intended release plan. I want to make sure I've got a good release plan. As for Fangs. I suppose I can write that after Legends. Merry Christmas.
Date: 12/16/15 02:53 am Title: Chapter 6: Split Personality
Slow moving. Anticipation keeps you reading.
Too bad it's not finished
Author's Response: I've got a lot of projects that I've been updating regularly. A Leg is getting an update next. Ultimately, I like my stories to run a long time. I don't like short stories that don't quite encapsulate the idea of 'an epic'. This might not be up with my other stories, not being a battlefield based idea, but just like the others it will be large. I like writing, but I can't focus on one project like some others might. Finishing a story does not suit my interests if I can't think of a way to construct the end.
Dayna, we've spoken before in the Reviewer's club and I know your hatred for unfinished stories and chapter based releases. By saying this, I'm trying to be respectful. If you feel that I am not, feel free to say something with another review. At times I find it difficult to articulate my intentions. But as an author, your ideas for unfinished stories and chapter based releases are quite destructive for aspiring authors such as myself and others on the site. We need people to follow us from the beginning to the end with patience and interest rather than the desire to compare us to a fully released book such as the books they sell in book stores. Please, from now on, leave those two opinions inside you to prevent impacting other writers. A lot of people who post her might not have the confidence to continue and it might cause the unintentional cessation of a project.
Then again. I don't mind it as much as another I might know. A Leg to Stand On is a very difficult project because of the research and the problems that might be raised during production. I've intentionally made this one slower than my other stories. I want it to be a narrative of someone who has lost a limb and who's fighting within themselves. Speeding through a story like this could distance the reader a bit too much. But then again, that's why you said anticipation.
Date: 10/28/15 03:11 pm Title: Chapter 6: Split Personality
If I remember correctly House used vicodin and not valium. (unless I'm totally missing the reference here.)
Anyway, good chapter. But I need about 100% more Shore in my life right now.
Author's Response: He did, but valium is reference constantly throughout House. I believe it's another of the drugs he takes and prescribes and it's habit forming and has harsh reprecussions.
You need 100% more Shore in your life? That's good. I'm working on around 200% more Shore. Give or take a little.
Date: 10/28/15 12:36 am Title: Chapter 6: Split Personality
This story is quite a bit more serious than your other work. I like the tone, as well as the subject matter. There's some pretty ablist stuff early on, but given Dane had just had his accident I suppose that's not unexpected. The mental horror stuff is fascinating to me.
It's also interesting to see Riley give a very negative opinion of psychiatry while Mira recommended it within the same chapter. BT is a unique problem to be sure, but I hope there's a more strong argument for therapy/psychiatry later. It helps some people a lot; in my case therapy just makes me angry but meds help me a lot.
In general the story is well written, though there's a couple weird mistakes I assume were autocorrect, like Dean being called Damon briefly in the previous chapter. You also used Cyclobenzeprine in one of the last sentences of this chapter when I think you meant Carisoprodol. It's weird hearing Acetaminophen be listed as a 'serious' drug though haha. Lastly, there's a lot of 'void dialogue', where a brief section goes by with just talking and no real references to the characters. It's very moderate however and more of a personal difference than a criticism.
Seriously some really solid writing here. Thanks a bunch.
Author's Response: Mira doesn't know about the BT problem. Riley is experienced. It's a different opinion, but Mira believes depression is a result of loss of limb whereas Riley thinks of the psychiatrists as prying, they try to empathize on a problem they can't empathize.
I did make weird mistakes. I fixed the stuff you mentioned. Also. I don't think I said Acetaminophen as 'serious' it was included in a conversation about serious drugs, but it's usually just a painkiller with few side effects. So Acetaminophen was just a side point amongst a list of heavier drugs. In the end notes I did say both them and beta-blockers are pretty common.
I try to do my best for people and I enjoy writing what I do. So I'm glad you enjoy it.
Date: 10/27/15 11:09 pm Title: Chapter 6: Split Personality
Very nice chapter thanks this was interesting and with some help she can get over her lost limb thanks for the amazing update 😍😎
Author's Response: Getting over one's lost limb is far harder than it sound. It usually requires a trip to a psychiatrist. A prosthetist can only help with the pain, the stump and the prosthesis.
Date: 10/27/15 09:37 pm Title: Chapter 6: Split Personality
I'm really conflicted about this story. I both like it and don't like it. I have no strong feeling one way or the other, yet I'm not all that disinterested. I don't know how to explain it. It's just so far out there (for you) that I'm not all that sure how to take it.
On a different note, I'm impressed at what you're doing here. All that research... honestly, if I have to do research for any of my stories that requires more than a quick search, I'm going to do my best to edit it out or it'll take an additional.... quite some time to get done.
Author's Response: Eh. Different stroke for different folks. I like the story because it pushes me, as you said with the research, it helps me try new things and educates me and maybe others. I know you said you're conflicted, but it's not really the same as my other work. It's produced in a far harsher tone and there isn't magic that's going to make things better.
Date: 10/20/15 06:45 pm Title: Chapter 5: Pulling my Leg
To be honest i actually fell really sad about the actual tara being dead. don't know if you plan on doing anything like having the actual tara be alive just in the back of the mind. Being able to see and talk to dane but thats it. She's having to take a backseat in the back of here mind while someone else does everything for her. If that made any sense
Author's Response: I am the evilest m*********** ever. You'll see what I have planned in a while. Next chapter, with the stuff I already have written down, begins the explanation whereas the other details will be revealed later.
Date: 09/28/15 04:10 pm Title: Chapter 5: Pulling my Leg
This is really good, definitely different and a little depressing, I am confused that you use terms like Primary School ( a UK thing) and $ for money - where is this game set? I'm thinking it must be somewhere like Australia or New Zealand which use dollars but also use a lot of British terminology.
Author's Response: Huh. I didn't think about that. It's in America after all the research I did, mostly because that's where a lot of the advances in amputation tech is. I made an error and think of the Primary vs Elementary school, which was a clear lack of thinking on my part. I'll fix it asap, thanks for pointing it out.
Date: 09/18/15 11:01 am Title: Chapter 1: Tetraplegia
I feel I should apologise, I should've thought your research would be quite thorough . That website is quite interesting, thank you!
Author's Response: Lol. It's fine. I did the research for my story so the story could also be informative as well. If you aren't sure about something, you can ask me and I can give you the source I found it from. Originally I too thought that using the prosthesis would come a couple months after the amputation.
Date: 09/17/15 11:07 pm Title: Chapter 5: Pulling my Leg
Ive quite enjoyed most of this story so far (disability is rarely seen in fiction, and as someone with a disability i tend to be quite interested when it does appear) but i find the use of the prosthetic so soon after the crash a bit annoying, not sure why as im no expert on prosthetics. I think especially while the stiches are still in, she wouldnt be given any kind of prosthetic leg at all, but i know very little on the subject and you probably know more than i do after the research required to comfortably wright this story.
Author's Response: Actually. Prosthetics are used usually within the month of the crash so the amputee can get a chance to get used to it. It's not uncomfortable and the stitches are likely already out at the time. They receive a temporary prosthetic for about three months until the swelling goes down and then they'll have a personal prosthetic. Funnily enough, she actually started late. She would normally start using a prosthetic far earlier than she started wearing it.
The timing depends on how quickly your residual limb fully heals from the surgery. Some individuals receive a temporary prosthesis immediately following amputation or within two to three weeks after surgery. Usually, a prosthetic fitting begins two to six months after surgery. This will be when the surgical incision has healed, the swelling has gone down, and your physical condition improves.
The above description is an excerpt from a big site that talks about prosthetics that I use. Depending on how fast Tara heals will also depend on when she gets fitted for her own prosthesis.
Date: 09/17/15 06:24 pm Title: Chapter 5: Pulling my Leg
I really loved this chapter - I really find it fascinating how she seems to be suffering from phantom memories as well as phantom limb pain. Is it really that painful? You seem to have done a ton of research on this - so I was wondering. Do you have first hand experience with an amputee? The story's level of detail and the emotions you give dane/tara make me think you've at least talked to a few. Its unreal how good this story is.
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the chapter and I will do what I can to answer your other questions.
Phantom limb pain is a different kind of pain. 80% of amputees tend to feel something. Though most aren't quite as bad as Tara. Tara falls into a measly 23% of amputees who feel phantom 'pain'. Pain being the keyword here. Most feel something such as the limb shortening, heaviness, itchiness. It's as if the limb had suddenly regrown and regained sensation. Sadly for Tara, she has an episode of high-intensity pain that at times can be debilitating. These episodes, from my research can last seconds... To years if untreated.
I don't have any experience with amputees or even those who have a small deformation. I only serve them as a checkout operator. No, when I started writing this story, I said "If I pick an issue and run with it. Then I want to do it RIGHT". There are far too many I could offend and honestly it's just easier to put myself in Tara's shoes. Do the research, have the knowledge and then apply it to emotions. "How would I act if I had a disability and someone judged me on that disability alone?" I would try to either hide the disability so no-one can notice and judge me. If someone found out, then I would try my best to show them that just because I'm disabled doesn't mean I can't do anything you can do.
Thanks a lot for the review and I hope that answered your questions.
Date: 07/27/15 05:38 pm Title: Chapter 4: Door Trap
there are a few lines of conversation where I can't quite tell what is being said, but other than that the chapter feels pretty good :3
nice to know your stories will keep updating ^^
Author's Response: One of the difficulties I have. Just point them out and I'll fix them.
I recently got picked up for another project, not going to go into specifics, but I'm not positive I can update as fast as normal.
Date: 07/13/15 05:41 pm Title: Chapter 1: Tetraplegia
No need to fret. I thought that this was the most accomplished and complete so far. Dane/Tara's discomfort both physical and mental is captured perfectly. This is really brilliant writing.
Author's Response: Thank you very much. I've still got a bit more to go, but thanks for the review.
Date: 07/12/15 11:54 am Title: Chapter 4: Door Trap
Well done,I'm hopeing the storyline moves a little faster! But I'm still enjoying the read.
Author's Response: Hm, I'm not sure about faster, the plans surrounding this don't unfold fast, though I can do time skips.
Date: 07/12/15 11:25 am Title: Chapter 4: Door Trap
You needed the rest I know its tough but I was wondering where have you gone and then figured must be busy but its a relief you are back now anyways I think this chapter falls in place not much rushed its awesome read 😍🙌😘 thanks
Author's Response: Yeah, I took my rest and now I'm back. I've gotten some of The Dealer written down and now I'll do some more.
Date: 07/12/15 06:06 am Title: Chapter 4: Door Trap
I honestly didn't think it felt rushed - it did feel a bit different than some of the previous chapters - but it felt good different. Maybe it was her feeling of hope that tinged the story with more optimism or how she's adjusting to her new parents. I liked it.
Author's Response: Still got a long time to actually get used to everything, I just needed to give the mc some hope. I don't know why it felt different, which is why I thought it felt rushed, maybe I'll find out later,
Date: 07/12/15 01:42 am Title: Chapter 4: Door Trap
Interesting new developments... odd stopping point too. It doesn't feel all that rushed overall, but there were certainly times. I don't really know, it was just an... odd chapter. Can't explain why.
Author's Response: Yeah, stopping because I dragged it out too long. But yeah, odd chapter and I'm not sure why either, and I'm the one who wrote it.
Date: 07/06/15 11:36 am Title: Chapter 3: Who am I?
Wow I am so confused she is tara or dane she seems to be dane but her habits and way of conduct suggest otherwise she is more like Tara maybe Tara has identity disorder but anyways hope she accepts her hoping to read more thanks 😍🙌😘
Author's Response: The plan is to make it as confusing as possible, but I don't plan to keep everyone out of the loop for much longer now, I just needed to have you share Dane's state of confusion.
Date: 07/06/15 07:09 am Title: Chapter 3: Who am I?
Can we have some more?
Author's Response: What is this Oliver Twist? I'll see what I can do, but because of how harsh the material is and how much research I do for it, it might not come out as fast as my fantasy works which require little to no research to write. I'm working on chapter 4, but considering it's working into the start of school... Well you can imagine.
Date: 07/05/15 09:50 pm Title: Chapter 3: Who am I?
This had been a really good start to a story. Not too slow but not overly fast paced. Looking forward to seeing how Lisa affects Dane/Tara's mental view point on things. Hoping she may be more of a neutral/TeamDane character to counter-act Tara's parents influencing him. You're making it difficult for me to hold into my "5 chapter staring rule" I want to go ahead and rate it 5 stars! Haha
Author's Response: Well, I've written 6k-7k word chapters, usually I write 4k-6k word chapters, 6k being my limit usually. So I'd mostly be at the 5 chapter rule next chapter anyway. Lisa doesn't really know about Dane, though I'm sure I'll need to find someone who's for Dane, as I haven't got too many people who know about him, it's difficult, but the pressure provided by people who care about the memories created with Tara can create a good story, even if it is a little harsh. I have my ideas, but I'm not sure I want Dane to grab onto someone in this story, I want everything to feel fleeting as if, just like at the beginning, where a bad choice made because of peer pressure, I want that point in the story to be pivotal, to make Dane have trouble trusting people. In other words, someone who feels the world is against them may have trouble discerning exactly who is on their side, I think this is very clear by this point considering the way she seems to take peoples' comments.
Date: 07/05/15 08:30 pm Title: Chapter 1: Tetraplegia
Bring it on, the more controversial the better. Life isn't all sunshine and rainbows and it's always nice to have that slapped in your face everyone once on a blue moon. I like it so far. I have some other thoughts that I can't really organize atm, but if I figure out what I'm trying to say I'll write another review later.
Author's Response: Alrighty then, I'll look forward to that review then. I'm working on the next chapter, but it's a little slow.
Date: 07/05/15 05:49 pm Title: Chapter 3: Who am I?
Wow. Okay... yay for mental problems! I mean, not for Darae, but certainly for the reader! I still don't know where you're going with this, but since you warned me I don't think I'll get too into the characters... hopefully.
Author's Response: Well. I warned a lot of things, but because I made it so complicated, my notes don't necessarily mean that everything will work out as expected.
Date: 07/05/15 11:35 am Title: Chapter 3: Who am I?
Excellent chapter,I'm loving the story! I guess some of Tara's memories are still in there!
Author's Response: Yeah, transference switches memories, not brains. I call the memories left behind, residual memories, as you can see, the confusion created by them tend to be a little overbearing.
Date: 07/05/15 01:52 am Title: Chapter 1: Tetraplegia
This is a terrific story with a fascinating premise and very well executed. The one thing that seems just a little bit off is how quickly both the medical and the psychological issues are judged to be at a stage where Dane/Tara can "go home." That said, the dilemmas and anxieties in his/her head are brilliantly sustained. Looking forward to where it goes next. Please take your time - this needs to play its own way to a conclusion.
Author's Response: I'm forced to play around a little with some of my ideas, psychology, at least in the way I am using it is incredibly unpredictable and very difficult to write. It's different for everyone, though I know what you mean and it might be a small writing error on my side. Apart from those issues, I'm glad you like it, the idea that this would be a more psychological story than anything came last chapter which made this chapter a nightmare to write, so maybe I'll get into the groove of things soon.
Date: 07/01/15 04:49 am Title: Chapter 1: Tetraplegia
It must be interesting to be the fly on your wall in your head.
It is a different start then what you normally do but I want to see were it goes
But also don't forget about your other stories. As too meny stories on this site get left unfinished and I would be a shame if some of your stories end up the same way.
As you stories are some of the more interesting one on this site that keep me wanting more.
So good luck and keep it up
Author's Response: I haven't forgotten about my other stories, nor do I not finish stories. After all, I do have 4 completed stories. I just have my moments where I write and write and write until I am happy with what I've written down. Here's how it works, I can write 10k words a day if I try hard enough, but I need to be interested in the stories to do that, however if I'm forced to write a story that I'm not so happy about, my speed drops to 2.5k words a day. My preference is to stick to something I am interested in and keep on rolling until I find other ideas on other stories.
Date: 06/30/15 04:48 pm Title: Chapter 1: Tetraplegia
This is pretty dark, not sure I can continue reading if it gets darker.
Other than a few typos this is well written I think and is at least intriguing. I think losing the leg was a bit too much though.
Author's Response: Well, my idea for this was to make it a bit different, that is to focus more on psychological and medical issues, rather than solely on the life of a normal person. Normality bores me, which is why I, just like many people who commonly read my other stories are surprised to see my writing this story specifically.
This is psychological, if you're worried about it getting darker, then I'd advise you to stop now. It's not going to be some happy go lucky story and as soon as that car fell off the cliff should have been a big clue for that.
So what are you looking for out of this story? I can't cater to everyone and with my plans, I definitely can't cater to you. I take reviews seriously and respond to all reviews. I'm sorry if I can't solve your problems, but I can't always solve every problem, this is just too many steps the other way in my planning direction.
Date: 06/30/15 02:35 pm Title: Chapter 2: Stumped
You writing is so annoyingly frustrating! All of these stories I start reading, I get into them and then it just stops. Then a new story shows up and I end up liking it too. Sometimes more than some of the ones that are on the back burner. I want to be mad at you, I really do! But I can't because there is always something good to read coming. If a meandering path is the price of a good muse, then so be it!
Author's Response: I'm sorry, it's just how I write. If I get on a roll with something I stay on a roll until I figure out a way to roll on with another story. I think this will be the last 'new' story I will work on for a while. I should switch between them for a while.
Date: 06/30/15 02:20 am Title: Chapter 2: Stumped
Oh... okay... uh... yeah. Let's go with that. I don't know how to react to this. I don't know, I'm not used to you writing modern-day realism.There's always been a catch, usually involving power... but here? I don't know. I just don't know.
Author's Response: Yeah, I know! I don't know either! It's a whole new subject that I don't understand but it seems to be working out, so let's see what else we can do.
Date: 06/30/15 12:14 am Title: Chapter 2: Stumped
I'm enjoying this story so far - but i'm a little worried about the 'loses personality' tag. Is her losing her old self going to be a big part of the story - cause I kind of like her the way she is. I'd hate to see her have identity death like some stories do, if you know what I mean. Its almost worse than dying.
Author's Response: Her personality won't die, I'd call it 'fading', 'changing', it's something that happens as a result of a major event, I added the tag mostly because I realized the psychological aspect I was bringing to the story and then thought it was required. I have no plans to have Dane change, but I also don't think it's possible for Dane to remain the same, unchanged by the whole experience.
Date: 06/29/15 11:53 pm Title: Chapter 2: Stumped
Ahhh i love your stories so much this one excites me to... but... well I can't help but get frustrated by your cliffhangers your'e a devious one lol
Author's Response: After Person42 and his hatred of cliffhangers, I usually don't write them unless they are required, but here it's required for the state of the story and character dev.
Date: 06/29/15 11:29 pm Title: Chapter 2: Stumped
Well that was a well written chapter! I wondering r u missing a limb or have afriend that's missing one? I felt it was very detailed. Anyways again that was an awesome chapter!
Author's Response: No, I've been researching a lot, and by a lot I mean, I have three tabs open from three different sources to try and keep it accurate. If I can't be somewhat accurate, then I might as well not try is my thoughts on the matter.
Date: 06/27/15 04:21 pm Title: Chapter 1: Tetraplegia
Wow this is brilliant concept n story although "having amputated leg" is bit sad but it will do considering if she copes accordingly 😍😘ty
Author's Response: Eh, copes accordingly is a strong word. Ever heard of phantom pain? Yeah, thanks for the review, I'll see what I can do about another chapter today.
Date: 06/27/15 11:04 am Title: Chapter 1: Tetraplegia
Interesting start,you raise could points in the story. I will be following it,it was an enjoyable read.
Author's Response: Thanks, I hope to raise more points as the story runs on, one of these points is actually something Hikaro spoke to me about, so it's a little twisty and turny.
Date: 06/27/15 10:06 am Title: Chapter 1: Tetraplegia
Awesome. Glad to see someone else enjoy it as much as I did. Can't wait to find out what you come up with.
I enjoy your work quite a lot.
Author's Response: Doubled up review? No matter. Katawa Shoujo had so many stories, it was the only game I was interested in seeing what all the characters were really like as a lot of them are etremely secretive.
Thanks a lot. I appreciate all support, I love people's reviews, it really helps me write more.
Date: 06/27/15 06:56 am Title: Chapter 1: Tetraplegia
Good start to this story so far. I do think that Patrice was out of line for calling Dane a spoiled brat when anyone in his situation would get upset. Plus he's essentially going from one disabled state to another lesser, but still disabled state. Sure doesn't seem like being transferred to a healthy body.
And Sark is just an asshole.
Author's Response: Janice (That is Patrice's first name, as you can tell Dane refers to people by using family names) only said that because she underwent the same treatment and she already has knowledge about people who would kill to be in Dane's position. Three people have been tested with transference so far, it's something many people would hope for, she has her opinion and believes that Dane was asking too much for something that he might never have had the chance at, (Looking a gift horse in the mouth).
And Sark was intended to be an a******. It just means I did it well.
Date: 06/27/15 04:42 am Title: Chapter 1: Tetraplegia
If you're looking to see how to handle this type of controversial stuff then you should download the visual novel Katawa Shoujo. Honestly it's one of the better experiences of my life. It also deals with disabilities and it completely changed my outlook on them.
And it's free by the way.
Author's Response: I have played Katawa Shoujo, I had my reservations when I played it though, but the story is incredible and it really makes you understand how completely normal they all are, even in spite of their disabilities they can still have a positive outlook on life. It's actually one of my inspirations for writing this story.
Date: 06/27/15 01:32 am Title: Chapter 1: Tetraplegia
An interesting start. Starting off with a physical deformity in the new body is a bit of a twist, and kudos to you for getting out of your comfort zone!
The part I'm really interested in is having her learn to cope with a new family and new parents. For some reason, that has been a fascination of mine, recently. I hope she discovers a side to her former friend's life/family that was hidden from her before. ;)
Author's Response: I've got plans, though I have no intention of them being things anyone expects. You'll see.
Date: 06/27/15 01:14 am Title: Chapter 1: Tetraplegia
Intriguing.... Very intriguing. You have many stories I'm waiting to see updated, you know. But I know how inspiration is... more fickle than anything else. I don't see where you're going with this, and that's not bad
Author's Response: A lot of the time, I go where my mind says, it's the best way I can write the fastest I can. That's how I got Betrayer to so many words so fast and how Dealer ended up on 40k in such a short amount of time. If I have inspiration then I can type at a rate that tends to be quite a bit faster than usual. Same story here, it tends to be why you see one specific story updated so much then moving onto another story and why some are left behind for long periods of time.