Date: 01/24/15 06:29 am Title: Chapter 1
Amazing story. The slow revelations of back story and world building without straight up forcing it in the reader is excellently done. I'm definitely gonna keep my eye on this story.
English is a tricky language and overall this was superbly written. For grammar/punctuation the 2 that stood out to me is that the period in a quote sentence is inside the ending quote:
"I am saying something."
The more major one that was a little distracting at first (until the story sucked me in) is the lack of blank separating lines. Usually a blank line is placed between paragraphs to help make it clear where one 'thought' ends and a new one begins.
Date: 01/23/15 03:43 pm Title: Chapter 1
Awesome story so far! I really enjoyed it Andres. Just a side note - some of your punctuation is off - which didn't really detract from the story, but it was noticeable. What manner of creature is roy turning into - was the demigod of human stock or some other species? I suspect his friends may be coming for him in the future, unawares that he's roy.
Author's Response: I am sorry for the punctuation. English is not my primary language and the grammar still sometimes confuses me. I get a lot wrong. Can you tell me what I mixed up? And you'll find out more about the demigod later on. Can't spoil the story, haha.