Date: 12/13/14 03:22 am Title: Starts with a spell
This is a great start. The transformation is well described and well paced. I look forward to seeing where things go.
As a note for improvement, I suggest starting a new paragraph each time a different person speaks. It makes it easier to follow conversations and who's saying what.
Date: 12/12/14 03:55 am Title: Starts with a spell
As a writing note, add an extra space between paragraphs helps. Noticed a few words that where misspelled as well. Try to use a spell check if you can.
Author's Response: ok thanks :) ill try and bring you another chapter ^.^ (with less spelling mistakes) thanks for the advice