Date: 01/03/16 07:31 pm Title: Chapter 7: New Clothes, New me
Hey, great story, I love the plot and the characters in it. I'm not sure if you just gave up on this story or if you gave up on this site all together, but I would really like to hear more of it so if you ever see this review, please consider adding more to this story.
Date: 02/20/15 01:48 pm Title: Chapter 7: New Clothes, New me
There's a spelling error here and there, "prefect" instead of perfect comes to mind, but otherwise a fairly nice new addition to the story. I had to skim the last chapter to remind myself of what happened, though.
Author's Response: Dang it... I'm sorry for the spelling errors, I went back a few times and caught quite a few but I guess I didn't get them all... Sorry for that, trying to get better.
Date: 12/31/14 01:12 am Title: Chapter 1 The Game
I understand the spell check not existing in wordpad. That is rough. Maybe you could download Openoffice or use Google Docs or something like that. They're free and they have spellcheck built in. If not, I have a habit of reading and rereading my work. I usually read it like three or four times before I post, checking for story quality, spelling and grammatical errors, and things like the proper use of they're/their/there, were/we're/where, and other such words. It's not something that has to be completely focused on, but it does give people a better impression of your work when spelling and grammar are excellent. I love your writing either way. I can't wait to read your next chapters.
Author's Response: Yeah I've always been a bit lazy about proofreading Dx teachers would always complain during school when we are supposed to have 3 or 4 drafts and I just hand in the final draft hahaha. And I agree completely with the impression bit. It can really affect a story /: I'm trying to get better and slowly have been paying more attention to spelling and word usage and what not. And I'm glad you love it! :D
Date: 12/28/14 09:35 pm Title: Chapter 6: Life Is A Journey
Great story! I love the way she has dealt with the change so far. Dr. Millam is pretty cool. The shower scene was exciting. I can't wait to see where that goes, just as long as the story doesn't become only about sex. Shopping should be fun too. As far as criticisms, the only ones I have are small spelling and grammatical errors throughout. Stuff like they're/there/their. Just make sure you use the correct one. All other spelling errors seem to be when you just switched a couple of letters around in a word. Nothing spellcheck couldn't fix. I'm excited to read the next chapter when you get it up. Keep up the good work.
Author's Response: Agh! I thought is been doing well with the "there" Dx I hate it when people do that... I'm sorry! And I actually don't have full fledged word I only have wordpad which has no spell check so the ony assistance I get is from the site when I copy and paste so isk how trustworthy it is. I do proofread and catch a mistakes here and there but I usually end up focusing more on content and flow than spelling (should probably fix that habit). Thanks for the input (:
Date: 12/24/14 08:16 am Title: Chapter 1 The Game
I am following this story and looking forward to updates.
I hope your writers block cures itself soon for the other story though.
Author's Response: Hmmm... With The Phantoms, at first it was purely a writers block but as time went on I sorta killed jumped around some ideas and pretty much rethinking my entire route for the story so I'm kind of having to work from the ground up at the moment ^_^' I will try to get the next chapter up as soon as possible, sorry for the wait!
Date: 12/06/14 12:02 am Title: Chapter 5: Breaking News
Interesting chapter, certainly moves things forward in terms of explaining the change. Spelling errors are abundant, though, so I put together a quick edit if you'd care to use it: http://notepad.cc/imagirl5
Author's Response: Thank you sooooooo much! That was extremely helpful and I can't thank you enough ^^
Date: 12/05/14 04:33 pm Title: Chapter 5: Breaking News
Short chapter... yes. It looks hastily typed, too. Spelling mistakes all over the place, but simple ones like "and the nhe ate..." even if that wasn't a quote. "Bene" was, though.
Author's Response: I've always had a bad habit of typing "bene" instead of "been". Apologies for all of the mistakes, hopefully they are all fixed now. The next chapter shouldn't be nearly as short either. Just figured I would cut the chapter of short before things got interesting.
Date: 11/22/14 06:03 pm Title: Chapter 4: A day in bed
why would anyone leave a knife in a sink before going to bed? no wonder she got hurt.
Author's Response: Well if you keep in mind that the family as a whole is going through a tremendous amount of stress a few simple mistakes like that are bound to happen /: Minds off elsewhere thinking about other things, she could have just forgotten it was in there.
Date: 11/21/14 10:50 pm Title: Chapter 4: A day in bed
I am not sure if it is just your character or if it is based on your own knowledge, but hydrogen peroxide is actually bad for healing. While it does kill bacteria, it has never been shown to do so in wounds, and in fact the bubbling that hydrogen peroxide does is on the very parts of your biology that heals, which increases the odds of scaring and slower healing.
Just FYI, since common wisdom would have you believe hydrogen peroxide is good on wounds, but that turns out not to be the case.
Author's Response: That's just what I'd grown up with. Surprised to hear that, I'll keep that in mind for future injuries.
Date: 11/19/14 08:48 am Title: Chapter 1 The Game
Wow. I though this was going to be a slow transformation.
I'm willing to bet that solid he just hurled was his Adams apple.
Really interested in this, great stuff!
Author's Response: Well females still have Adams apples they are just smaller. I did intend for that to be a part of the "solid" being puked but there were also other parts mixed in there. From a medical stand point when a bodily fluid is black it means that there is dead muscle tissue in it as well, so in my vision the "solid" was a mix of his adams apple, muscle being lost, maybe some calcium from his shrinking bones and other various solids his body was rejecting to cause the change.
Date: 11/18/14 05:59 pm Title: Chapter 1 The Game
Well done! As others have mentioned the writing about the soccer (football) was well done, but the parts about the disorientation were excellent as well. I could almost feel it!
Author's Response: Yay! That's so awesome! ^^ haha thank you so much for the compliments, I was actually considering abandoning the thought of him being a soccer player because it's such a hard sport to describe through writing (at least for me anyways) it's difficult to include the scope of everything going on and everyone involved.
Date: 11/18/14 03:55 pm Title: Chapter 1 The Game
Being a Brit, I did find your description of football quite amusing to read. Just certain phrasings and names felt, well I guess Americanised? But it was still enjoyable nevertheless. Look forward to more
Author's Response: I always find it fun to talk about soccer with people from other places around the world for that very reason. What I call a field another might call a pitch, Cleats are called boots. and etc.
Date: 11/18/14 02:21 pm Title: Chapter 1 The Game
A good start, well written. Definitely makes me think of me and my mates playing.
Thanks for this
Author's Response: Thanks for the review. Soccer is definitely not an easy sport to express through writing so I was worried that it would be bad.