Reviews For Scratch
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Reviewer: GinNC Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/22/16 07:05 am Title: Employee disorientation

Read this story last night. Really enjoyed it. I was particularly touched by the real human emotions exhibited by Dave's wife in her response to his post-relocation email. I've started "Maaru's Story", but haven't finished it yet. I hope you are able to find a path to continue the "...monster" you've given birth to. Please keep writing, your stories have yet to disappoint me.

Reviewer: Maryjane Signed Report
Date: 02/17/15 12:50 pm Title: Happily ever

You totally lost me. Is this good or does it really suck? The serenity was lost in the end of the story. Are you going to write more, or does it end here?

Author's Response: I know it's been two years since you wrote this review, but I'd like to say that even though I never responded, it brings a smile to my face every time I see it. It's so honest!

Reviewer: Maryjane Signed Report
Date: 02/17/15 12:34 pm Title: Tsintokna and tsinkolfu

This is totally confusing.

Reviewer: Maryjane Signed Report
Date: 02/17/15 11:59 am Title: The plot thickens

Just a little less than the romance of the previous chapters.

Reviewer: Maryjane Signed Report
Date: 02/17/15 11:39 am Title: The other side

I really do love this one, you sure do know how to dream, could live like that for at least a 100 years and suffer no boredom at all.

Author's Response: Well, thanks!

Reviewer: Maryjane Signed Report
Date: 02/17/15 11:15 am Title: Employee disorientation

I would love a job like that, she's right sounds like the next thing to heaven, probably would'nt want to return to reality.

Reviewer: TmC Signed Report
Date: 11/24/14 04:57 am Title: Employee disorientation

I did find out about the hypothesis after you mentioned it, I'm more inclined to the strong hypothesis though. It makes a bit of sense. If your culture has no word for something like a hug, no way to even express it, how would it even occur to you to hug someone unless you see it occurring another culture. (ok a hug is maybe a bad example since everyone does it, but you get my point.) therefore the more languages you know the better you can express yourself as it opens up new avenue of thought and concepts that you just can't find in your native language.

This story has really got me thinking. Thank you for that.

Author's Response: It does sound plausible; so far studies have been relatively inconclusive, but if you look at the vastly different ways that some Native American languages in particular organize the world (seeing time differently and so on) you can't help but wonder, and it *feels* right. Unfortunately, it's very difficult to test, because we don't have many people in the world who are not thoroughly exposed to technoculture. Virtual humans, though, could have any culture you like - assuming a sufficiency of computing resources, which of course make our entire planet's computation capacity today look insignificant. But then - your phone contains more computing power than the entire United States of America had in 1960, so project that out, and virtual humans start to sound believable.

Reviewer: TmC Signed Report
Date: 11/23/14 10:21 pm Title: Happily ever

I'm a bit confused, and I've read this three times now. What exactly is the 'primary product'? Is it languages?

Author's Response: The Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis is that the language you think in constrains what you think. The *strong* Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis is that the language you think in constrains what you *can* think. If we assume (which these stories do) that a human mind is a collection of memes - ideas and concepts bound together by linguistic constructs - then we could construct a language that, if learned, would optimize certain meme structures in the human mind that learned it. The idea here is that the primary product is those meme structures, in Dave/April's mind after she learns tsintokna, which has been built specifically to map onto SOMETHING that we are not told. After she learns the language, her mental structures are harvested, as a bilingual tsintokna/English speaker. As, in fact, the *only* bilingual tsintokna speaker. But because the Daves have technology that permits mental structures to be copied and recombined, you only need one.

Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/23/14 08:04 am Title: Happily ever

Brilliant, Simply brilliant. Now I'm pining to be a Dave myself, or at least have his/her house. That computer would really help with finishing up NaNoWriMo. You've somehow captured a snapshot of that world by feeding us only a small bit and leaving our imaginations to fill in the rest. Though you did loose me a bit at the language Jargon.

I'm feeling quite inspired by your story at the moment so I'm off to write mt story using a combination of smoke signals and my own version of pig Latin. (bad writing humour)

Author's Response: The Dave Conspiracy makes money off the Sapir-Whorf Hypothesis. Once I realized that, I basically *had* to build a language. I'm glad you liked it! The workroom actually came first. The reason for it, and its world, accreted around that like the pearl around an irritant.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/22/14 05:29 pm Title: Happily ever

I liked the story,and enjoyed the read.

Author's Response: Thanks!

Reviewer: Casey Thompson Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/22/14 02:29 am Title: Employee disorientation

Holy crap! Talk about being hooked after the first chapter.... Bravo!!!!

Author's Response: Thanks, Casey! I'm glad you liked it. It just kind of took me over for a few days there.

Reviewer: aquerty Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/21/14 12:59 pm Title: Employee disorientation

Love the story. Especially how steamy the interactions between maaru and April. The whole matrix bit with the completely different culture and imaginary world. All of it was just fantastic.
Question, were the people in that world self propagated/ already there or was it all all dreamed up by the main character.
And question number 2 what did you base that world off of culture wise?

Ps I would love to see more stories like this from you. Btw you are now one of my favorite authors.

Author's Response: Thanks! I find myself kind of stuck on the world there, actually. Can't get my mind off it. To answer your questions: the world was "seeded" by the Company, but it was April falling in love with it that made it a real culture - that's what she was there for. My guess is that a few key people in the city are human-equivalent, with the remainder being NPCs. And I made it up as I went. Kind of like April. Language and all. Every time I had to write a new sentence, I made up new words and grammar, then kept notes as I went. It was ... trippy. I'm still kind of reeling from it.

Reviewer: wolfgaurd1 Signed Report
Date: 11/20/14 01:55 pm Title: Happily ever

Very interesting keep it coming!

Author's Response: It's actually complete. But if I mark it complete, it disappears from the story list. So it hangs, sadly unflagged, pining for its rightful due.

Reviewer: ubougie Signed Report
Date: 11/20/14 06:26 am Title: Employee disorientation

Nice. But wait, where did it go from the main page? Did I just read a non-existent story? Almost like the society and universe in the story. Weeeird.

Author's Response: Very meta!

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/20/14 05:08 am Title: Tsintokna and tsinkolfu

You lost me on this last line in the chapter, but I like the story.

Author's Response: Well, the next-and-final chapter makes it all clear.

Reviewer: Day Dreamer Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/19/14 09:12 pm Title: The plot thickens

Loving it so far! Nicely done, eloquent and sensual, magical and mysterious.

Author's Response: "Elegant and sensual, magical and mysterious"... I like you!

Reviewer: I_Think Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/19/14 05:02 am Title: The other side

Natural language parsers, you say? Hahahahaha! And goodness, it sounds like a ton of effort to build a conlang - are you going to use it for other stuff too in the future? I don't have time right now, though I know friends of mine have tried learning various conlangs from fictional works - given that yours seems quite readable... if you someday post an IPA pronunciation guide for it, I will finally sit down and learn IPA so that I can pronounce the words in your story XD

I'm really enjoying the immersion (heh) you're achieving with this story; I did notice that you seemed to omit a few words, although they're those words that nobody really misses when they get glossed over in speech...

Finally, yay for another chapter so soon! Do you write/publish anywhere else? I don't know if you've mentioned that before!

P.S. Guess what I realized about the site today? This is really exacerbating my tendency to use italics allllllll the time!

Author's Response: I'm not out words! I mean, I not leaving words out! I mean, tell me where I left words out so I can fix it. No need for IPA pronunciation - just assume Italian vowels. Easier. "ch" is an English "ch", and "th" is a voiced "th". Some vowels are long; April isn't hearing that yet, but Maru's name is actually Maaru, or technically Maar, but vocative/substantive is marked as a 'u' and so names (of girls) mostly always have a 'u' on the end. Maaru's language is thus Maaru toknanil. And no, I have no particular plans to reuse this one, but who knows? It's just where the Muse decided to take me this week, I GUESS. Got one more chapter written already. And I have an end planned. Kind of.

Reviewer: redneck07 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/18/14 08:10 pm Title: The other side

Good story

But is it all in her head by vr maybe or we never find out

Author's Response: Oh, you'll find out. I'm just yanking your chain about the lady-and-tiger thing.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/18/14 04:58 pm Title: The other side

Okay I'm digging the story,did she ever go to the bathroom? And I though the first person,would have been a man! Anyways well done!

Author's Response: What do *you* think? And yeah, you'd think. And thanks! It ain't over. Dopanu sutafalu!

Reviewer: I_Think Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/18/14 05:06 am Title: Employee disorientation

The most awesome job, or the most unsettling (perhaps even terrifying) job? :D

I'm glad to see another post from you! I had to read it as soon as I noticed it was up, and was most certainly not disappointed. Your descriptions and little subtle notes are very vivid and fluent!

Author's Response: I_Think! I thought you'd like this. And hey, now that I've slept on it, I like it even better. Let's see if I can finish this one, hey?

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/18/14 03:58 am Title: Employee disorientation

Very interesting start,I'm loving the story so far!

Author's Response: Oh, you always say that. Hey, maybe I'll be able to finish this one. I have an idea, at least.

Reviewer: Faye Kistry Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/18/14 02:42 am Title: Employee disorientation

An intriguing start with well written and flowing text that leads to a nice set-up.

Can't wait to see where you take this - although in truth it could end right where it is now and you could leave the reader to their assumptions.

I'm going with some sort of magical dream state VR. ;-)

Author's Response: I actually have more idea of where this is going than I normally do after the initial stages of a story.

Reviewer: TG Wonder Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/18/14 12:13 am Title: Employee disorientation

Very interesting so far. Keep it up!

Author's Response: Thanks! We'll see.

Reviewer: robertlouis Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/17/14 11:04 pm Title: Employee disorientation

Excellent start. Can't wait to find out what's at the top of that hill!

Author's Response: Me neither! (Just joking - I know what's over the hill, I'm just not 100% sure how to turn it into a real story with tension and denouement and stuff. Always my problem.)

Reviewer: redneck07 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/17/14 07:06 pm Title: Employee disorientation

What what what
why the cliffhanger
noooooooooo

Author's Response: Maybe it's a lady-and-the-tiger thing, right? What do *you* think is at the top? (Hahahaha!)

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