Date: 01/23/16 09:54 am Title: Chapter 8: Time to Impress the Boss
Let me guess: It was Michael's turn to be hopelessly drowning in debt, and his only way out was to 'pleasure' a very rich but disfigured woman who had a reputation. A very rich, influential, and highly informed spinster who had a Midas touch for punishing arrogant fools. Paybacks are a xxxxx, but this lady left scars. Her conquests were essentially purged from higher social circles.
Date: 12/30/14 06:43 pm Title: Chapter 4
I think it is fine so far. To have a great ending you must lay an interesting enough foundation so that everything makes sense and the reader can spend mental energy on the excitement instead of trying to lay their own foundation.
Date: 10/30/14 07:33 am Title: Chapter 6: The New Job
Great. Keep it up. If she became a bit bustier it would excite me all the further. So very well done. Merci - A
Author's Response: im not sure i really need to make her bustier, she's pretty large as it is :) but thanks A :) x
Date: 10/18/14 10:06 am Title: Chapter 1: Introduction to Greg
I loved the taxi part and how he had to pay! Definitely a great way to start that aspect of the story, hope to see more. Keep up the excellent work!
Author's Response: thanks! hopefully i'll write something new soon to keep with the story! :) xx
Date: 10/17/14 06:05 pm Title: Chapter 1: Introduction to Greg
Fantastic start! I am always a fan of any busty adventures and this looks to be shaping up to be a good one. Thanks for taking the time to write it. I really enjoy your writing style and hope to see more from you! - A
Author's Response: everyone enjoys a busty adventure :P hopefully write more real soon, and maybe other stories after that! xx
Date: 10/15/14 04:58 pm Title: Chapter 1: Introduction to Greg
hello! to review this story...as i heard about it in chat i was in and a request was made to help do so. your story is sound. the flow is continual however i would make sure you have a definitive beginning middle and end to each of your chapters. its like trying to prevent a run on sentence while still maintaining the integrity of your story. the premise is interesting although i would be more descriptive with your sexual content in a range that is giving the reader a better visual of what is going on. it seems a bit like a quickie which can be appropriate but only in that situation. i cant really say your story runs too fast or slow. the author should in some way know the basic idea for the whole story in a sense that there is an "idea" for beginning, middle, and end. overall that however should not take away from the fiction as it would be at the expense of it. i really like it in a sense of creativity. ultimately it is up to you to finish the work. i would if it is something you can believe in but only presentation and sharing. nice work...improve your presentation and i say you have something. good luck.
Author's Response: thank you for the feedback, really in depth, few things i'll work on :) x