Date: 08/30/19 05:25 am Title: Chapter 1
I really enjoyed this story. The ending had me crying. I was hoping for a little more closure than that, but at least the world was saved. If you ever want to pick up where this left off, I’ll be glad to read more!
Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed it. Not sure if I'll ever get time to do a sequel sadly.
Date: 02/19/19 04:09 pm Title: Epilogue
This has been one of the best storys I ever had the pleasure of reading, I can see all the love and hard work you have put into making this story into reality and as a reader I thank you for sharing it with me. Don't know if you plan on doing a sequel but since we know unknown 2 was human and uknown 1 just poof into dust upon defeat, is it still out there waiting for its moment? Who knows either way only you can tell me that tale.
Author's Response: I had plans for a continuation, but those never came to fruition. Maybe one day that seed will bear fruit. Thanks for reading, and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Date: 08/31/16 04:13 pm Title: Epilogue
This was one of the best stories I've ever read of any type. I enjoyed being snatched up and taken for this wonderful ride. Very well written with a little bit of everything one could wish for.
Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the review.
Date: 04/27/16 06:54 pm Title: Epilogue
That was a hell of a ride, which certainly isn't a bad thing, you're quite descriptive with things and with my imagination being as it is there were times I could feel in my mind what the characters were feeling. I did notice a lot of grammatical errors, incorrect words and some words being completely left out, though I do understand that pretty well as I have a bad habit of skipping over some commonly used words now and again in my own writing. All in all I found it to be an interesting journey and couldn't pull myself away from the story, always looking forward to seeing what would happen next, so kudos to you, I really enjoyed the ride.
Date: 01/05/15 10:24 pm Title: Epilogue
This has been a great story and I have totally enjoyed reading it, I am a little sad that it has now come to an end. Keep up the great work and I look forward to reading more of your work.
Author's Response: Thanks, already working on some new stuff.
Date: 01/05/15 05:31 pm Title: Epilogue
And it's over... Well it was a lot of fun to read. The end kinda just snuck up on me, I think I was expecting it to be longer. Like the after training part of the war to be nearly as long as the training part. All and all though, I did really enjoy this story!
Author's Response: I'll look at that went I go through and fix it.
Date: 12/27/14 04:07 am Title: Chapter 42
What is going on with rusty she seem to lost her nerve to fight. I think there is more going on with her I hope we learn soon about rusty and how she was brought back to life if I have to guess she might be part angel or something like that
Author's Response: Probably a mistake on my part, besides the angels *** ******** *** **** *****
Date: 12/24/14 08:15 am Title: Chapter 41
A (slightly) Early Christmas present in the form of a cliff hanger. Oh well, this is gonna bother me forever now. Or at least until your next post.
Author's Response: Apologies for taking a little longer on this one, Christmas was a bit busier than expected.
Date: 12/22/14 03:56 am Title: Chapter 40
Wait, aren't you skipping the part where it's explained to rusty what was done to her? (unless that was it) (unless unless I'm the one that skipped over reading something) it seems like kind of a biggie given how extreme the procedure was.
Author's Response: It's explained at the start of chapter 37 but maybe I wasn't clear enough on what happened. Anyway there's a bit coming up where it's explained again, I just need to work on it a bit.
Date: 12/18/14 03:50 am Title: Chapter 39
It's always sunset in my mind when two lovers reunite.
That minister is an asshole. Why do they need to kill a WW though? Are the planning on fighting a lot of them in future, so they need data?
You're a better editor than you think. Only saw like three typos. (that or I was too engrossed in the story and read right over them.)
Author's Response: Should a WW commit a crime the only thing that could stop them would be another WW but the government doesn't want to rely on WW so need to make sure the NEXTs can deal with them.
Date: 12/18/14 02:38 am Title: Chapter 39
Congrats on 100,000.
I am sitting here shivering with joy and rage. So my guess it that I am really loving your story.
I am so glad to see Rusty and Erika back together. My guess is that soon, no matter if the aliens are crushed, England will not be a major super power under the command of Webble. But I guess that is dependent on if Xero Acquisitions remains a England based company.
Author's Response: Webble's only a high ranking minister, not the head of state.
Date: 12/12/14 03:44 am Title: Chapter 35
Well that was completely different. I can see why they need good publicity. But I can't help but feel that it's going to end badly for the military types when the enemy finally makes their play.
Author's Response: Just adding more ingredients to the brew...
Date: 12/05/14 06:46 pm Title: Chapter 32
Honestly, I didn't expect something intelligent after the last chapter. The fight was a good continuation.
This certainly gives us a little more information about where the wing suits come from.
There were a few typos though. In the second paragraph and here "gold's words were the last thing anyone wanted to here".
Author's Response: Gah, dam you English language!
Date: 12/04/14 01:23 pm Title: Chapter 31
Is rusty okay ?
Author's Response: Well... some baddies showed up, some guards died, the rocket took off and then BOOM, whole world exploded, No survivors, except the Moon, it survived because it's awnsome like that.
Date: 12/04/14 03:33 am Title: Chapter 1
That was one of the best chapters of this story. Quite the twist.
As for the O.S.A picture, what software are you using? Download inkscape. It gives you a lot more options.
Author's Response: Photoshop. Also I'm just getting warmed up!
Date: 12/04/14 03:25 am Title: Chapter 31
Well that was bad.
You're doing great, but you've got a few grammar problems like before. Give it a bit more of a read through in the future. Still good stuff.
Author's Response: I can't be that bad... I'll just check this paragraph right here to prove it aaaaaaannd there's a missing word here and that is spelt wrong.... arrrhhh! Why can't editing be easy...
Date: 12/02/14 03:07 am Title: Chapter 1
Mine was 50k in 29 days. Problem is I'm only 2/3rds of the way through my story. I'm now wondering if it's going to bore the pants off anyone who reads it.
Author's Response: It's a learning experience, I've had many a disastrous NaNoWriMo but I always learned a lot.
Date: 11/30/14 01:47 pm Title: Chapter 29
Oh that guy is back...though I want him damaged I want rusty to save him just for humiliation part....
But who's the other wing warrior?
And a rocket..do you mean literally space
Author's Response: You'll just have to read and find out *evil laugh*
Date: 11/30/14 10:13 am Title: Chapter 1
Glad to see you're back to regular updates. I'm liking all the secrecy in this chapter, it's really ratcheting up the tension.
What was your final WriMo word count? How long did it take to get there?
Author's Response: In the end it ended up with 50k over 28 days. Turns out my idea really lacked substance and I had to flush it out with really long fight scenes. Still practices makes prefect and it added a lot to my NaNoWriMo universe.
Date: 11/27/14 08:01 pm Title: Chapter 28
I hope its not like that laser disc video game from the 1980's called Space Ace... I really really like this story so far - it and Sky Queen have been must-reads for many weeks. I can't wait to see how it ends.
Author's Response: Laser Disc version of this story will be out in 2059 when Laser discs come back into fashion
Date: 11/27/14 01:22 pm Title: Chapter 28
Great to see a new chapter in my fav story..
Like the new characters and how they're interacting..
Evil cliffhanger.. and i'm sorry but the operation name had me laughing for quite a bit..
Hope you have a happy thanksgiving hun
Author's Response: Thanks, my naming sense is so poor I decided to just go with the comedic approach :)
Date: 11/07/14 02:40 am Title: Chapter 1
Any excuse to put pretty women in bed together is something I approve of. But you could have left out that extreme amount of detail. Simply have Rusty hit the wall, realize she was sleeping with Ericka and then have ericka wake wake up and comment about putting the beds together. Removing the one sentence and it's fantastic.
Date: 11/02/14 12:52 am Title: Chapter 27
I'm not sure what I think of the conversation between Ericka and Rusty. It's awkward like what I'd expect from a teenage girl and a guy who's not sure about his feelings and has changed as much as Rusty has, but it was also kind of stilted and maybe too awkward.
When you had Rusty wake up, explaining what side of the rooms the beds were on was too much detail. However I liked everything else about that scene.
And I like what you've done with Natalie. She's a good instructor but not so great at thinking on her feet. It's nice and realistic. Great stuff there.
Overall I like this chapter and reading from the start I can see how you've really improved. Keep going.
Author's Response: I just wanted an excuse to put their beds together honestly :p
Date: 10/29/14 02:44 am Title: Chapter 25
I am disappointed that you wont be updating this story as much in November, but here is to NaNoWriMo being even more successful!
So I am thinking Alan and Rusty are going to be key people into developing a method of communing with the wing suits to unlock a "Super Saiyan" mode. And what about Craig being the second subject of Alan's little process?
Author's Response: To say what will happen would be to spoil it :p Let's just say I've a big plan
Date: 10/28/14 12:34 am Title: Chapter 24
Good fight scene overall. Enough details, without repeating stuff or pointing out the obvious.
But remember Prefect is a student leader. Perfect means good. :-P
Author's Response: I read that as Perfect twice and was confused until I reread it for the fourth time :s It seems I've made that mistake nine times in the story so far :'(
Date: 10/24/14 04:16 am Title: Chapter 22
So maybe Craig isn't just some dumb hotshot with a fancy wing suit.
Thinking about the flow of your chapters they remind me of episodes in an anime, which you are probably going for; but with one difference. Most shows I have seen have two plots intermingled togeather through the episode. You did that in this last one with Charlotte spying as the side plot, but maybe mention the side plot a bit earlier in the chapter. Was Charlotte at the canteens too?
Overall though I am really enjoying this story! And you are just cranking out the chapters so fast! Keep up the good work, Thermidor!
Author's Response: Glad you're enjoying it, sadly the rate which I'm making chapters is gonna drop soon due to me doing NaNoWriMo but i'll try to continue adding new ones if I can find the time.
Date: 10/22/14 12:06 am Title: Chapter 21
Gah! Editing is needed.
There were lots of easy to catch mistakes in this, missing words and wrong words.
It was interesting but the mistakes really hurt.
Author's Response: I'll try avoid doing the editing while tired in the future :s
Date: 10/21/14 02:46 am Title: Chapter 20
The conversation between Rusty and Natalie sounded a bit stilted. Not too badly, but not as smooth as I'm used to seeing from you.
For the rest especially the battle. Bravo.
Author's Response: Thanks. I'll revise the conversation at a later time.
Date: 10/20/14 04:56 am Title: Chapter 19
When I saw the claim that the prototype was "one with its wearer," the first thing that came to mind was Superman 3, when the supercomputer turned Vera into a cyborg.
Author's Response: Not seen that movie unfortunately all I know is I'm probably going to have to reword the description of how the new type of Wing Suit works a lot times before I'm happy with it.
Date: 10/20/14 01:29 am Title: Chapter 19
This was good. It needs another round of editing, but overall it's good and the potential plot threads are great.
You do need to do a bit more showing rather than telling. Instead of saying they didn't trust the new suit, have them feeling nervous, the hair raising on their necks, a shiver down their spine, something like that.
Author's Response: I'll try to do that more thanks,
Date: 10/20/14 01:17 am Title: Chapter 18
Like I said earlier, you have a bad habit of spelling things out. This is the worst example:
"Rusty had a brief immature giggle at the fact the second part of the model number could easily be misread as the word poo."
But there were other spots like explaining the washing machines. Unless they're important to the story or are really interesting leave it out.
Author's Response: I see what you mean
Date: 10/19/14 09:46 pm Title: Chapter 16
This was pretty good. One thing you should do is go over it again and look at information we don't really need to know. Several times especially in the big paragraphs you would repeat information or explain things that were pretty obvious.
Combat is tricky because you don't want to give too much info which bogs it down, but giving to little is as bad. So keep working on it.
Still it showed Rusty's tactical skills, and you were heading in the right direction for pacing and excitement.
Author's Response: Okay, I'll keep that in mind.
Date: 10/11/14 11:16 am Title: Chapter 16
Superb new chapter!!!! For a second i was thinking what's going on but then figured it out..
this has me at the edge of my seat
Author's Response: I'm struggling to find the prefect line where something is explained the required detail without taking away from the action of the battle.