Reviews For Wing My Way
You must login (register) to review.
Reviewer: ZZChromosome Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/01/19 11:24 pm Title: Epilogue

What a phenomenal story. Mysterious and action packed, filled with fascinating and complex characters. Well done. I would say this is publishable.

Author's Response: I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Reviewer: ZZChromosome Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/01/19 12:36 pm Title: Chapter 19

I'm on chapter 19 and this story has me sitting on the edge of my seat.

Reviewer: QueenOfBlades Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/30/19 05:25 am Title: Chapter 1

I really enjoyed this story. The ending had me crying. I was hoping for a little more closure than that, but at least the world was saved. If you ever want to pick up where this left off, I’ll be glad to read more!

Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed it. Not sure if I'll ever get time to do a sequel sadly.

Reviewer: Stardraigh Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 07/16/19 12:43 am Title: Chapter 1

One of my fav stories now

Reviewer: Headhunter Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 02/19/19 04:09 pm Title: Epilogue

This has been one of the best storys I ever had the pleasure of reading, I can see all the love and hard work you have put into making this story into reality and as a reader I thank you for sharing it with me. Don't know if you plan on doing a sequel but since we know unknown 2 was human and uknown 1 just poof into dust upon defeat, is it still out there waiting for its moment? Who knows either way only you can tell me that tale.

Author's Response: I had plans for a continuation, but those never came to fruition. Maybe one day that seed will bear fruit. Thanks for reading, and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Reviewer: Tessarion Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 01/13/18 02:04 pm Title: Epilogue

Great read! Really enjoyed the worldbuilding, and the characters were well written. I'm still curious as to where exactly the angels/wing suits came from, though.

Reviewer: Tessarion Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 01/13/18 04:04 am Title: Chapter 26

Sure, some of the writing could use a little polishing. But I don't care- this story has cute lesbians with wings in it, and that is everything I want to be in life* :-P

*Well, at least I'm 50% of the way there...

Reviewer: Livvy Signed Report
Date: 01/02/18 10:23 pm Title: Chapter 1

Are you going to do a part two this?

Author's Response: I've toyed with the idea, and have some ideas about what I could do. Sadly I've too much other projects on my plate that are higher priority atm.

Reviewer: Rain1a Signed Report
Date: 11/01/16 09:33 pm Title: Chapter 1

I was just browsing trying to find a story. I clicked on this accidentally and then read it all. Fantastic read.

Reviewer: Hrdknight Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/31/16 04:13 pm Title: Epilogue

This was one of the best stories I've ever read of any type. I enjoyed being snatched up and taken for this wonderful ride. Very well written with a little bit of everything one could wish for.

Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the review.

Reviewer: Arisu Elementine Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/27/16 06:54 pm Title: Epilogue

That was a hell of a ride, which certainly isn't a bad thing, you're quite descriptive with things and with my imagination being as it is there were times I could feel in my mind what the characters were feeling. I did notice a lot of grammatical errors, incorrect words and some words being completely left out, though I do understand that pretty well as I have a bad habit of skipping over some commonly used words now and again in my own writing. All in all I found it to be an interesting journey and couldn't pull myself away from the story, always looking forward to seeing what would happen next, so kudos to you, I really enjoyed the ride.

Reviewer: Obama Signed starstarstar Report
Date: 12/21/15 10:07 pm Title: Chapter 34

I liked the story but Erika did ruin it for me. Anyway thx

Reviewer: Nfsu218 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/25/15 02:14 am Title: Epilogue

Great story. I am really happy I found this and have enjoyed every chapter after. Can't wait to see more stories written by you, M A Thermidor.

Author's Response: I hope my next big project can deliver on your expectations

Reviewer: Selvanius Signed Report
Date: 11/13/15 04:35 am Title: Chapter 1

Whoa! This is really good! It can be slow at times but it shows lots of good content!!!

Author's Response: Thanks

Reviewer: Surtiep Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/03/15 03:21 am Title: Chapter 1

Very well written!

Author's Response: Thank you

Reviewer: Sqweeps Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/27/15 10:42 pm Title: Chapter 1

Great story just finished it. Would be great to see this become a series or for there to be a sequel

Author's Response: Thanks for reading :)

Reviewer: Shance Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 06/05/15 03:30 am Title: Epilogue

Your story was great, though it would be awesome if you wrote a sneak peek of rustys future like twenty years or something!

Author's Response: I might work on a sequel in the future set in the same universe but not quite sure.

Reviewer: Darkseide Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 01/28/15 09:27 am Title: Chapter 17

Enjoying this so far.
I can't be the only one who thinks this would be a fun video game, right?

Author's Response: Never thought off it that way

Reviewer: hahn84 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 01/06/15 03:35 am Title: Epilogue

Love it I think it would be a series

Author's Response: There's potential but I'm trying a different approach with my writing for the time being.

Reviewer: talisin Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 01/05/15 10:24 pm Title: Epilogue

This has been a great story and I have totally enjoyed reading it, I am a little sad that it has now come to an end. Keep up the great work and I look forward to reading more of your work.

Author's Response: Thanks, already working on some new stuff.

Reviewer: The Wedge Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 01/05/15 05:31 pm Title: Epilogue

And it's over... Well it was a lot of fun to read. The end kinda just snuck up on me, I think I was expecting it to be longer. Like the after training part of the war to be nearly as long as the training part. All and all though, I did really enjoy this story!

Author's Response: I'll look at that went I go through and fix it.

Reviewer: Grover Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 01/05/15 05:22 pm Title: Epilogue

Very kool story! Please don't blame me if the images I see are mecha. :)
Grover

Author's Response: I won't, I started imagine them as well towards the end.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 01/05/15 11:23 am Title: Epilogue

Awesome awesome awesome story!

Author's Response: Thanks again :)

Reviewer: TmC Signed Report
Date: 01/05/15 04:10 am Title: Epilogue

Awesome end to an awesome story. But it needs an epilogue.

Can't wait to see what you come up with next.

Author's Response: I'll add one when I finish correcting the story.

Reviewer: Sanro Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 01/01/15 11:32 am Title: Chapter 1

Very nice story thanx

Author's Response: Very nice review thanx

Reviewer: TmC Signed Report
Date: 12/31/14 05:42 am Title: Chapter 1

It would be simple enough to let him have a "accident".

Author's Response: Meh accidents are boring, I prefer gun-fights at the O.K. Corral

Reviewer: Kazumy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/29/14 01:23 pm Title: Chapter 43

Oh my not Erika, rusty save her! I

Author's Response: To the rescue!

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/28/14 12:42 pm Title: Chapter 43

Awesome battle,awesome chapter!

Author's Response: thanks

Reviewer: TmC Signed Report
Date: 12/28/14 09:48 am Title: Chapter 43

C'mon, can't you just kill that minister a little? He's gotten away with too much already.

Author's Response: Yeah I could but.... I don't have any characters mean enough to kill him

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/27/14 11:09 am Title: Chapter 42

Awesome battle,well done!

Author's Response: It's not even over yet :)

Reviewer: TmC Signed Report
Date: 12/27/14 05:20 am Title: Chapter 42

Brilliant. Worth the wait.

Author's Response: Thanks.

Reviewer: Livvy Signed Report
Date: 12/27/14 04:07 am Title: Chapter 42

What is going on with rusty she seem to lost her nerve to fight. I think there is more going on with her I hope we learn soon about rusty and how she was brought back to life if I have to guess she might be part angel or something like that

Author's Response: Probably a mistake on my part, besides the angels *** ******** *** **** *****

Reviewer: Kazumy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/27/14 03:57 am Title: Chapter 42

This is a great chapter.
The action and drama so. Intense.

Author's Response: And it'll only continue to Intensify.

Reviewer: Grover Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/26/14 09:56 pm Title: Chapter 41

Oh my! I wonder if she's recording this? I think we see how he was beaten in chess so often. :)

Author's Response: Indeed

Reviewer: Kazumy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/25/14 01:03 pm Title: Chapter 41

Say what. Six wings silver. How did she?
-Looks for Alan-

Author's Response: He is innocent for once :p

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/24/14 10:48 am Title: Chapter 41

Awesome just awesome!

Author's Response: Thanks

Reviewer: TmC Signed Report
Date: 12/24/14 08:15 am Title: Chapter 41

A (slightly) Early Christmas present in the form of a cliff hanger. Oh well, this is gonna bother me forever now. Or at least until your next post.

Author's Response: Apologies for taking a little longer on this one, Christmas was a bit busier than expected.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/22/14 12:10 pm Title: Chapter 40

Well done,I'm loving the storyline!

Author's Response: Thank you, I'm loving it as well

Reviewer: TmC Signed Report
Date: 12/22/14 03:56 am Title: Chapter 40

Wait, aren't you skipping the part where it's explained to rusty what was done to her? (unless that was it) (unless unless I'm the one that skipped over reading something) it seems like kind of a biggie given how extreme the procedure was.

Author's Response: It's explained at the start of chapter 37 but maybe I wasn't clear enough on what happened. Anyway there's a bit coming up where it's explained again, I just need to work on it a bit.

Reviewer: Kazumy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/22/14 02:20 am Title: Chapter 40

Superb story, the suspenseis being harder and more intense.

Author's Response: I can't deny I'm enjoying being evil with the cliffhangers

Reviewer: Kazumy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/20/14 02:35 am Title: Chapter 36

Now what's happening in rusty dreams, I'm thinking that revival did some new things they dunno.

Author's Response: I could say but... spoilers :)

Reviewer: The Wedge Signed Report
Date: 12/20/14 02:04 am Title: Chapter 36

Was Rusty re-reborn different? Does she now a kind of mental link with Unknown 2?

Author's Response: Unknown 02 is pretty much unrelated to her.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/20/14 01:25 am Title: Chapter 36

Well done!

Author's Response: Thanks

Reviewer: Spicyice101 Signed Report
Date: 12/20/14 12:55 am Title: Chapter 36

I bet it's the impulse core, even when inactive that thing is evil!

Author's Response: Keep in mind this started before she got the impulse core.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/18/14 11:18 am Title: Chapter 39

Now the storyline will move! Awesome chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks

Reviewer: Kathryn Mayhew Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/18/14 03:55 am Title: Chapter 39

LOVE IT - YESSSSS I cheered!

Author's Response: Yaaayyyy

Reviewer: TmC Signed Report
Date: 12/18/14 03:50 am Title: Chapter 39

It's always sunset in my mind when two lovers reunite.

That minister is an asshole. Why do they need to kill a WW though? Are the planning on fighting a lot of them in future, so they need data?

You're a better editor than you think. Only saw like three typos. (that or I was too engrossed in the story and read right over them.)

Great work.

Author's Response: Should a WW commit a crime the only thing that could stop them would be another WW but the government doesn't want to rely on WW so need to make sure the NEXTs can deal with them.

Reviewer: Kazumy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/18/14 02:53 am Title: Chapter 39

Yay what an entrance, what kick ass on poor raider.
But I hope rusty kicks theMinister to the moon.
What a touching and wonderful reunion between rusty and Erika.

Author's Response: Thanks

Reviewer: The Wedge Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/18/14 02:38 am Title: Chapter 39

Congrats on 100,000.

I am sitting here shivering with joy and rage. So my guess it that I am really loving your story.

I am so glad to see Rusty and Erika back together. My guess is that soon, no matter if the aliens are crushed, England will not be a major super power under the command of Webble. But I guess that is dependent on if Xero Acquisitions remains a England based company.

Author's Response: Webble's only a high ranking minister, not the head of state.

Reviewer: Kazumy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/18/14 02:38 am Title: Chapter 38

Wow nowMinister is evil using wing warriors for testingis not right.

Author's Response: Well he is a politician, how could he not be evil?

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/17/14 11:47 am Title: Chapter 38

An interesting storyline !

Author's Response: This chapter was poor even by my standards but I'll make up for it with the next one so look forward to that appearing soon

Reviewer: Kazumy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/15/14 02:15 am Title: Chapter 37

These chapters are getting more and more suspense filled.
The cliffhanger is great.

Author's Response: Hurray

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/14/14 11:36 am Title: Chapter 37

Well done!

Author's Response: Thanks

Reviewer: The Wedge Signed Report
Date: 12/13/14 03:10 am Title: Chapter 35

So I found something that screamed 'Wing Suit" today. Not quite how you described but still looked good.

The image is at 37:20 into the music.
http://youtu.be/0_lfhVXT5oU

Author's Response: It kinda resembles the NEXTs

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/12/14 10:26 am Title: Chapter 35

Well done,good chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks

Reviewer: Kazumy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/12/14 04:13 am Title: Chapter 35

Superb new chapter finally finally my fave name for weapons.
Can't wait what now revealsitself.

Author's Response: Thanks

Reviewer: TmC Signed Report
Date: 12/12/14 03:44 am Title: Chapter 35

Well that was completely different. I can see why they need good publicity. But I can't help but feel that it's going to end badly for the military types when the enemy finally makes their play.

Author's Response: Just adding more ingredients to the brew...

Reviewer: Kazumy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/10/14 03:31 am Title: Chapter 34

Nice new chapter and now to wait for the next one.
Can't wait Dr rusty in the air again.

Author's Response: I was unaware she was a Dr :o Must've gotten a medical degree when I wasn't looking.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/10/14 01:11 am Title: Chapter 34

Well done,and I guess it's going to come into play with Rustys suit!

Author's Response: Thanks and I'd guess that as well

Reviewer: Livvy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/09/14 03:00 am Title: Chapter 33

WEll I hope that Rusty shows Erika that she still alive or been reborn another time.

Author's Response: I hope so too

Reviewer: Kazumy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/08/14 12:19 am Title: Chapter 33

Um I hope next one will explain all that happened and is calamity the second thing to supposedly help like forbidden?

Author's Response: I'll try,

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/07/14 11:11 pm Title: Chapter 33

Awesome chapter! I love it,I hope he has Rustys suit!!

Author's Response: Yeah about that...

Author's Response: Yeah about that...

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/06/14 11:30 am Title: Chapter 32

Awesome chapter,I'm loving it,Alan is going to take Rusty back to the tank and redo her again!

Author's Response: Something like that :)

Reviewer: The Wedge Signed Report
Date: 12/06/14 03:08 am Title: Chapter 32

Coffee is the best support for every successful team. I will put some faith in Alan.

Author's Response: Hurray

Reviewer: Kazumy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/06/14 01:13 am Title: Chapter 32

Um don't tell me the next one is called calamity?
Give Alan some coffee he'll fix rusty

Author's Response: I'm surprised two people got the reference :)

Reviewer: awakened Signed Report
Date: 12/05/14 09:43 pm Title: Chapter 32

Calamity, Gotta love Gundam SEED :)

Author's Response: You got me.

Reviewer: TmC Signed Report
Date: 12/05/14 06:46 pm Title: Chapter 32

Honestly, I didn't expect something intelligent after the last chapter. The fight was a good continuation.

This certainly gives us a little more information about where the wing suits come from.

There were a few typos though. In the second paragraph and here "gold's words were the last thing anyone wanted to here".

Author's Response: Gah, dam you English language!

Reviewer: A_Kent Signed Report
Date: 12/05/14 05:38 pm Title: Chapter 31

Lol. If editing were easy I wouldn't be paid to do it.

Author's Response: It's extremely tedious

Reviewer: Kazumy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/04/14 01:23 pm Title: Chapter 31

What happened?
Is rusty okay ?

Author's Response: Well... some baddies showed up, some guards died, the rocket took off and then BOOM, whole world exploded, No survivors, except the Moon, it survived because it's awnsome like that.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/04/14 10:05 am Title: Chapter 31

Well done,an exciting battle,I hope Rusty is okay,I love the way the storyline is going so far!

Author's Response: It's just going to get even more crazy from here on out.

Reviewer: TmC Signed Report
Date: 12/04/14 03:33 am Title: Chapter 1

That was one of the best chapters of this story. Quite the twist.

As for the O.S.A picture, what software are you using? Download inkscape. It gives you a lot more options.

Author's Response: Photoshop. Also I'm just getting warmed up!

Reviewer: A_Kent Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/04/14 03:25 am Title: Chapter 31

Well that was bad.
You're doing great, but you've got a few grammar problems like before. Give it a bit more of a read through in the future. Still good stuff.

Author's Response: I can't be that bad... I'll just check this paragraph right here to prove it aaaaaaannd there's a missing word here and that is spelt wrong.... arrrhhh! Why can't editing be easy...

Reviewer: A_Kent Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/04/14 03:00 am Title: Chapter 28

Don't worry about the silly name. There have been many silly names in military operations. Glad to see you're back.

Author's Response: Thanks

Reviewer: The Wedge Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/04/14 02:54 am Title: Chapter 31

But I need it to not to end yet! Crap good cliff hanger, I hate you!

Author's Response: Muahaahahahaha.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/02/14 09:55 am Title: Chapter 30

Well written,looking forward to the next chapter!

Author's Response: Thanks.

Reviewer: TmC Signed Report
Date: 12/02/14 03:28 am Title: Chapter 30

I'm surprised, I was really expecting rusty to fight that guy. I blame character development.

Author's Response: I blame you for making a far better picture of the O.S.A emblem.

Reviewer: TmC Signed Report
Date: 12/02/14 03:07 am Title: Chapter 1

Mine was 50k in 29 days. Problem is I'm only 2/3rds of the way through my story. I'm now wondering if it's going to bore the pants off anyone who reads it.

Author's Response: It's a learning experience, I've had many a disastrous NaNoWriMo but I always learned a lot.

Reviewer: TmC Signed Report
Date: 12/02/14 03:07 am Title: Chapter 1

Mine was 50k in 29 days. Problem is I'm only 2/3rds of the way through my story. I'm now wondering if it's going to bore the pants off anyone who reads it.

Reviewer: Kazumy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 12/02/14 01:37 am Title: Chapter 30

Why that Erin character name sounds familiar..dunno..
But the cliffhanger and suspense are very high

Author's Response: I think there is a character in SnK named Erin, no idea who she is but it's where I got the name from.

Reviewer: Kazumy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/30/14 01:47 pm Title: Chapter 29

Oh that guy is back...though I want him damaged I want rusty to save him just for humiliation part....
But who's the other wing warrior?
And a rocket..do you mean literally space

Author's Response: You'll just have to read and find out *evil laugh*

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/30/14 11:18 am Title: Chapter 29

A good chapter and I hope you post a little faster now!

Author's Response: I plan on returning to posting a new chapter every two days.

Reviewer: TmC Signed Report
Date: 11/30/14 10:13 am Title: Chapter 1

Glad to see you're back to regular updates. I'm liking all the secrecy in this chapter, it's really ratcheting up the tension.

What was your final WriMo word count? How long did it take to get there?

Author's Response: In the end it ended up with 50k over 28 days. Turns out my idea really lacked substance and I had to flush it out with really long fight scenes. Still practices makes prefect and it added a lot to my NaNoWriMo universe.

Reviewer: aquerty Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/30/14 01:14 am Title: Chapter 28

I wouldn't say so much as poor naming but entertainingly corny lol. And as always grate chapter.

Author's Response: Thank you :)

Reviewer: Kathryn Mayhew Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/27/14 08:01 pm Title: Chapter 28

I hope its not like that laser disc video game from the 1980's called Space Ace... I really really like this story so far - it and Sky Queen have been must-reads for many weeks. I can't wait to see how it ends.

Author's Response: Laser Disc version of this story will be out in 2059 when Laser discs come back into fashion

Reviewer: Kazumy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/27/14 01:22 pm Title: Chapter 28

Great to see a new chapter in my fav story..
Like the new characters and how they're interacting..
Evil cliffhanger.. and i'm sorry but the operation name had me laughing for quite a bit..

Hope you have a happy thanksgiving hun

Author's Response: Thanks, my naming sense is so poor I decided to just go with the comedic approach :)

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/27/14 11:16 am Title: Chapter 28

I hate cliffhangers! But love this story,well done!

Author's Response: I've got plenty of cliff hangers in store don't you worry >:D

Reviewer: SolsticeofStars Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/27/14 03:55 am Title: Chapter 28

God dang it the cliffhangers :3

Author's Response: Muahahaha

Reviewer: The Wedge Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/27/14 02:46 am Title: Chapter 28

I don't blame you, I blame Alan. Anyway, lots of new pilots, Rusty and Erika are together, impending doom and high tech plans. Yay! Sounds like fun for everyone!

Author's Response: Impending doom is always a good thing

Reviewer: A_Kent Signed Report
Date: 11/07/14 02:40 am Title: Chapter 1

Any excuse to put pretty women in bed together is something I approve of. But you could have left out that extreme amount of detail. Simply have Rusty hit the wall, realize she was sleeping with Ericka and then have ericka wake wake up and comment about putting the beds together. Removing the one sentence and it's fantastic.

Reviewer: A_Kent Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/02/14 12:52 am Title: Chapter 27

Not bad.
I'm not sure what I think of the conversation between Ericka and Rusty. It's awkward like what I'd expect from a teenage girl and a guy who's not sure about his feelings and has changed as much as Rusty has, but it was also kind of stilted and maybe too awkward.

When you had Rusty wake up, explaining what side of the rooms the beds were on was too much detail. However I liked everything else about that scene.

And I like what you've done with Natalie. She's a good instructor but not so great at thinking on her feet. It's nice and realistic. Great stuff there.

Overall I like this chapter and reading from the start I can see how you've really improved. Keep going.

Author's Response: I just wanted an excuse to put their beds together honestly :p

Reviewer: Kazumy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/01/14 02:35 am Title: Chapter 27

Whoa talk about a doozy of double episodes... i cried, cheered and wanted to hug them...
Now worried about this coming storm and what it will do...

Author's Response: Indeed

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/01/14 01:26 am Title: Chapter 27

Well done! Loving the story and will be sad when you end it!

Author's Response: Thanks,

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/31/14 04:13 pm Title: Chapter 26

Well done,you really have a handle on these characters!

Author's Response: I do? I mean yeah... totally <.<

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/29/14 09:49 am Title: Chapter 25

I Love the chapter,now is rusty going to try and touch a bird to see if she can ccontrol them too?

Author's Response: Maybe, but there are few more events that need to happen first :)

Reviewer: A_Kent Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/29/14 02:54 am Title: Chapter 25

Your writing is improving nicely. Great work.

Author's Response: Good to hear, thanks

Reviewer: The Wedge Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/29/14 02:44 am Title: Chapter 25

I am disappointed that you wont be updating this story as much in November, but here is to NaNoWriMo being even more successful!

So I am thinking Alan and Rusty are going to be key people into developing a method of communing with the wing suits to unlock a "Super Saiyan" mode. And what about Craig being the second subject of Alan's little process?

Author's Response: To say what will happen would be to spoil it :p Let's just say I've a big plan

Reviewer: Kazumy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/29/14 02:04 am Title: Chapter 25

wow impressive new chapter which explained a lot of things, then left clifhangers to entice us and leave us wanting for more...
which i wanna read soon

Author's Response: Glad the explanation stuff worked out well :)

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/28/14 04:26 pm Title: Chapter 24

Best battle chapter yet! Awesome work.

Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed it, I'm hoping the battles will continue to be more epic.

Reviewer: A_Kent Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/28/14 12:34 am Title: Chapter 24

Good fight scene overall. Enough details, without repeating stuff or pointing out the obvious.
But remember Prefect is a student leader. Perfect means good. :-P

Author's Response: I read that as Perfect twice and was confused until I reread it for the fourth time :s It seems I've made that mistake nine times in the story so far :'(

Reviewer: Kazumy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/27/14 11:58 pm Title: Chapter 24

Whoa talk about beserk mode/ possessed form...
Definetly a scary and dangerous combo

Author's Response: Hehe

Reviewer: Kazumy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/27/14 02:51 am Title: Chapter 23

Holy moley... what happened here.. is the wing suit finally showing its true colors... i got a theory but i'll keep quiet...
Intense new chapter!!!

Author's Response: The next will be just as intense I hope

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/26/14 06:48 pm Title: Chapter 23

Wow this is a big twist on the storyline! Very interesting!

Author's Response: Yup

Reviewer: A_Kent Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/26/14 02:54 am Title: Chapter 23

Ok, this has peaked my interest, good one.

Author's Response: Plenty more to come

Reviewer: Kazumy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/24/14 10:46 am Title: Chapter 22

Great new chapter , now is craig calling his suit maker?? will he say the truth??
I can't wait

Author's Response: The question is, will they say anything at all?

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/24/14 09:55 am Title: Chapter 22

Well written,can't wait for the next chapter!

Author's Response: It'll be... explosive... just without the explosions.

Reviewer: The Wedge Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/24/14 04:16 am Title: Chapter 22

So maybe Craig isn't just some dumb hotshot with a fancy wing suit.

Thinking about the flow of your chapters they remind me of episodes in an anime, which you are probably going for; but with one difference. Most shows I have seen have two plots intermingled togeather through the episode. You did that in this last one with Charlotte spying as the side plot, but maybe mention the side plot a bit earlier in the chapter. Was Charlotte at the canteens too?

Overall though I am really enjoying this story! And you are just cranking out the chapters so fast! Keep up the good work, Thermidor!

Author's Response: Glad you're enjoying it, sadly the rate which I'm making chapters is gonna drop soon due to me doing NaNoWriMo but i'll try to continue adding new ones if I can find the time.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/23/14 12:19 am Title: Chapter 21

I liked it,I always enjoy a good contest!

Author's Response: Thanks

Reviewer: Kazumy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/22/14 12:44 am Title: Chapter 21

Intense new chapter! love the competition and the outcome but still say its fishy that wingsuit

Author's Response: Glad you liked it.

Reviewer: A_Kent Signed Report
Date: 10/22/14 12:06 am Title: Chapter 21

Gah! Editing is needed.
There were lots of easy to catch mistakes in this, missing words and wrong words.
It was interesting but the mistakes really hurt.

Author's Response: I'll try avoid doing the editing while tired in the future :s

Reviewer: A_Kent Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/21/14 02:46 am Title: Chapter 20

The conversation between Rusty and Natalie sounded a bit stilted. Not too badly, but not as smooth as I'm used to seeing from you.
For the rest especially the battle. Bravo.

Author's Response: Thanks. I'll revise the conversation at a later time.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/21/14 01:37 am Title: Chapter 20

Well done,good battle! Loving the direction of the storyline!

Author's Response: Thank you

Reviewer: Kazumy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/20/14 10:12 pm Title: Chapter 20

my,my,my intense chapter for all characters, still think something fishy with that suit...
and who's the sniper guy? ooohh clifhanger!!!

Author's Response: Only time will tell

Reviewer: Crescent Pulsar Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/20/14 04:56 am Title: Chapter 19

When I saw the claim that the prototype was "one with its wearer," the first thing that came to mind was Superman 3, when the supercomputer turned Vera into a cyborg.

Author's Response: Not seen that movie unfortunately all I know is I'm probably going to have to reword the description of how the new type of Wing Suit works a lot times before I'm happy with it.

Reviewer: UniqueGuardian Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/20/14 04:20 am Title: Chapter 1

Beautiful story and well written storyline! I will love to read from the beginning to the newest chapter whenever i see it updated~

Author's Response: Thank you. I hope you'll enjoy it.

Reviewer: Livvy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/20/14 02:44 am Title: Chapter 19

Im hoping that Erika and rusty is going to hook up. I was thinking that still. But good work at this one im loving this storyline

Author's Response: Thank ya

Reviewer: A_Kent Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/20/14 01:29 am Title: Chapter 19

This was good. It needs another round of editing, but overall it's good and the potential plot threads are great.
You do need to do a bit more showing rather than telling. Instead of saying they didn't trust the new suit, have them feeling nervous, the hair raising on their necks, a shiver down their spine, something like that.

Author's Response: I'll try to do that more thanks,

Reviewer: A_Kent Signed starstarstar Report
Date: 10/20/14 01:17 am Title: Chapter 18

Like I said earlier, you have a bad habit of spelling things out. This is the worst example:
"Rusty had a brief immature giggle at the fact the second part of the model number could easily be misread as the word poo."
But there were other spots like explaining the washing machines. Unless they're important to the story or are really interesting leave it out.

Author's Response: I see what you mean

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/20/14 12:32 am Title: Chapter 19

Well done,excellent chapter,loving the story!

Author's Response: Thank you

Reviewer: A_Kent Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/19/14 09:55 pm Title: Chapter 17

This chapter was better done, it had about the right amount of detail for a quick fight.

Author's Response: Thanks

Reviewer: Kazumy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/19/14 09:50 pm Title: Chapter 19

Hmmm... that new wing suit sounds fishy.. what will it hide really?
Time will tell and experi,enting onthe desolators..hmm you play with fire you get burned eventually...

Author's Response: Indeed.

Reviewer: A_Kent Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/19/14 09:46 pm Title: Chapter 16

This was pretty good. One thing you should do is go over it again and look at information we don't really need to know. Several times especially in the big paragraphs you would repeat information or explain things that were pretty obvious.
Combat is tricky because you don't want to give too much info which bogs it down, but giving to little is as bad. So keep working on it.
Still it showed Rusty's tactical skills, and you were heading in the right direction for pacing and excitement.

Author's Response: Okay, I'll keep that in mind.

Reviewer: Kazumy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/19/14 07:10 am Title: Chapter 18

Ohh a prototype eh?? curious ... very curious
And that test is superb simple yet effective given the right settings

Author's Response: Hehe

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/18/14 10:16 am Title: Chapter 18

Another good chapter, still loving the story!

Author's Response: Thank ya

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/12/14 08:31 pm Title: Chapter 17

Well done,good battle!

Author's Response: Thanks

Reviewer: Kazumy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/11/14 11:16 am Title: Chapter 16

Superb new chapter!!!! For a second i was thinking what's going on but then figured it out..
this has me at the edge of my seat

Author's Response: I'm struggling to find the prefect line where something is explained the required detail without taking away from the action of the battle.

Reviewer: Crescent Pulsar Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/11/14 05:37 am Title: Chapter 16

Why can't Rusty relay the tactic she used via radio while taking Alyx to get some medical attention? Why would she need to wait?

Aside from that, I enjoyed the chapter.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/11/14 01:28 am Title: Chapter 16

Awesome,she clogged them up and overheated them! Well done!

Author's Response: Rather than over-heat it caused their joints to become very stiff and jam up preventing them from moving any more

You must login (register) to review.
TG Storytime uses the eFiction engine and Vanilla discussions. Design by J6P.