You must login (register) to review.
Reviewer: Ole Ulfson Signed starstarstar Report
Date: 07/29/12 07:48 pm Title: Chapter 1

An excellent first effort, though it flew by a little fast and I would have liked to have gotten more involved with the character. But then you should see some of my first stories... Uh, no, on second thought, no one should. They were much terrible compared to this!

Very nice! I'm anxious to read more,

Ole

Reviewer: PJWright Signed Report
Date: 04/19/11 03:14 pm Title: Chapter 1

A reply to a reply: Considering some of your later work and the grace with which you have subsequently 'let us in' to your characters' thoughts and feelings (no small trick!), I strongly suspected this to be an earlier work. Now I regret the lower number of stars I gave this. For a first attempt, this clearly shows the promise you have since vindicated.

The point in all this being; as Oliver Twist once said, "More, please?" :-) (And that's with my continuing admission that F-to-M isn't usually my thing.)

Author's Response: No need to apologise -- and thank you for your kind words -- heck I'd have given his one even less stars myself! There will be more -- and a new unpublished story may appear sometime soon in the series. Its working title is 'In Support of the Blue Jockstrap" Koz

Reviewer: Kozmik Alaska Signed Report
Date: 04/19/11 01:58 pm Title: Chapter 1

Cooment by Koz on PJWright's review.

I agree with everything you said. This literally was the first piece of FTM TG fiction I ever wrote, and certainly the first in The Amy Series. I struggled with including it in the canon of the series, but decided to after viewing it from the point of view that Bugs Bunny and Elmer Fudd didn't look like the later character presentation in classic Warner Brothers cartoons, and the Simpsons as presented on the Tracy Ullman show barely resembled the series characters. Heck, even Spock had emotions in the pilot for Start Trek, yet was still a Vulcan!

Later as I grew to long for finding Amy as a real person (which I did in real life), I softened quite a bit and refined the character.

Thanks for the review

Koz

Reviewer: PJWright Signed starstar Report
Date: 04/19/11 06:09 am Title: Chapter 1

I'm sorry to say that I couldn't quite get into this particular offering by an author who has otherwise captured my attention. The 'clinical', almost textbook presentation (at least of the opening paragraphs) felt like I was being held at arm's length - a rather strange choice for a character study that hopes to draw the reader in to an intimate sharing of the protagonist's thoughts and feelings.

On the plus side, Kozmik shows the mastery of prose and characterization we've come to expect once the story actually gets rolling. So I guess this isn't a failure of talent. Rather, it's just a stylistic choice by the author that - in my opinion at least - didn't work too well.

You must login (register) to review.
TG Storytime uses the eFiction engine and Vanilla discussions. Design by J6P.