Reviews For Sky Queen
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Reviewer: Kepli Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/09/18 04:26 am Title: A Gunner's Job

This is such an awesome story i cant wait for you to get back to it....

Reviewer: Shadow Dragon Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 07/26/18 06:20 am Title: A Gunner's Job

I love this story, and I do hope that you'll continue it!

Reviewer: rtbateman Signed Report
Date: 03/10/16 09:10 am Title: A Captain's Calling

Almost 50 years after being the subject of an attempted rape, the sheer terror of it is still there, in a dark corner of my mind. The incredibly powerful hands, the rank smell of my assailant, and the daze that consumed me for days. Being driven to absolute panic, I tried to jump out of the car at 65 mph, and that's the only thing that saved me from total rape.

Reviewer: rtbateman Signed Report
Date: 03/10/16 03:39 am Title: What Doesn't Kill You...

One need not go all the way to a brutal rape. Just the beating, humiliation and being forcibly undressed is quite enough. Rape is real, it almost happened to me, and I cannot ever forget how close I came to being totally destroyed. It was destruction enough for a lifetime.

Reviewer: stinger225 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 06/24/15 07:06 am Title: New Ship

This is somthing new and I like it.

When will there be more chapters

Author's Response: I should get the next chapter up in a couple weeks, I've been out of the swing of writing for a while

Reviewer: jacob_wishes_to_be_a_girl Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 06/19/15 11:29 am Title: New Ship

I like it. But I am not a seaman, and I noticed when I read, so you wrote about the ship. There were just common words, but not nautical terms. Room=Deck, Wall=Bulkhead and so on.

I am not hard, and I want to say it to you.

Author's Response: I'll try to keep that in mind for future chapters. I'm not a sailor either, so I often don't think about things like Wall vs Bulkhead. Thank you for the suggestion!

Reviewer: Spicyice101 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 04/02/15 12:59 pm Title: A Gunner's Job

We still love this story, when's the next update

Author's Response: Likely within a few weeks, I need to get back into the swing of writing TG

Reviewer: Sylvin Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/23/14 08:24 am Title: A Gunner's Job

I can't get enough of this story! Steampunk is one of my favorite settings, and this story is really well written. I love the little references you drop as well (I can't possibly imagine where you got Iron Tarkus and Gregor Clegane from;) ). I'm glad Gregor finally got what was coming to him (I still shudder whenever I think about poor old... :(. Anywho, in order to leave it off on a higher note, keep up the fantastic work, and I'm looking forward to more.
Ps: I did read Captain's Calling I just wanted to leave this review here.

Author's Response: Steampunk is fun because there a million different ways to do it, from being completely unabashed about the presence of your tech, to a slightly more rational approach. And I like naming things after other things, so there are allot of references and tweaked names from more obscure sources. (Admiral Kar-Therma and Urazzi come to mind) Regarding the continuation of the story, I'm not sure when the next chapter will go up. I"m getting a little bit of work on the story done, but finals week is coming and I might not get it done for a little while. We'll see, time is going to be up in the air, but the next chapter should hopefully be worth it.

Reviewer: Darkseide Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/14/14 06:42 am Title: A Captain's Calling

Been enjoying this story, can't wait for it to resume

Author's Response: I'm glad you like it. It will probably restart sometime in early december

Reviewer: Saklad Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/08/14 05:41 pm Title: A Captain's Calling

This was excellent, and I really love how you had Veronica recover. One question, though: how could you be a gunner and a pilot simultaneously?

Author's Response: The pilot needs to sleep and can't fly the ship 100% of the time. So the role of gunner/pilot is essentially a copilot. When the captain of the ship isn't at the wheel, the gunner/pilot is and if anything happens to the captain, they take command until the ship can return to port.

Reviewer: TmC Signed Report
Date: 11/08/14 03:38 pm Title: A Captain's Calling

That ending was... Deeply unsatisfying. I know that you realised it petered out, but that doesn't really help with the disappointment. Perhaps and ending where she saw her new ship and took to the skies once again?

Author's Response: The ending of this chapter will probably get updated later. But I have been forcing myself to write Sky Queen the last few weeks, and I was getting to be pretty tired, especially given how unpleasant these last few chapters were. I knew the ending was weak, but at the moment, I simply couldn't be bothered to write a better one. Maybe in a few weeks I'll be willing to write more, and I'll redo the end of this chapter when I write the next one. I'm sorry that the ending is unsatisfying right now, and I promise to fix it later, I'm just really tired. When I'm not, I'll fix it, for now; sorry.

Reviewer: TmC Signed Report
Date: 11/08/14 03:38 pm Title: A Captain's Calling

That ending was... Deeply unsatisfying. I know that you realised it petered out. But that doesn't really help with the disappointment. Perhaps and ending where she saw her new ship and took to the skies once again?

Author's Response: The ending of this chapter will probably get updated later. But I have been forcing myself to write Sky Queen the last few weeks, and I was getting to be pretty tired, especially given how unpleasant these last few chapters were. I knew the ending was weak, but at the moment, I simply couldn't be bothered to write a better one. Maybe in a few weeks I'll be willing to write more, and I'll redo the end of this chapter when I write the next one. I'm sorry that the ending is unsatisfying right now, and I promise to fix it later, I'm just really tired. When I'm not, I'll fix it, for now; sorry.

Reviewer: Crescent Pulsar Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/08/14 08:31 am Title: A Captain's Calling

A break, huh? That's fine. I've been a bit too distracted to read much in the way of anything lately, so that works out for me. ;p

Since this has been on my mind for a while, and I may or may not get an answer in the story later, I was wondering if you could sate my curiosity on a couple of matters, concerning the story's tags. I can't say that I saw evidence of Mark being submissive, so how did he become dominant as Veronica? Also, in what way is Veronica a fantasy character? Is it simply because she's a fictional character, or is there something about her nature that clearly distinguishes her from humans? (I especially wonder about the latter, since it's such a vague term that could be applied to a lot of things that deserve their own tag. Well, in my opinion, anyway.)

This sentence, in particular, caught my attention: "She wasn’t over the trauma, if she let her mind drift towards the rape, it would make her shiver but it didn’t force itself forward to haunt her."

If I'm guessing right, that second "it" refers to the trauma, not the rape? I can't really tell, since the trauma and her mind drifting toward rape are closely related, so the punctuation of the sentence feels off. Like, the first comma needs a stronger pause, like a semi-colon, but -- if that second "it" is about the trauma -- a colon seems more appropriate, since an explanation is following a statement. Also, if the two "it"s happen to be referring to different things, it will be easier to distinguish them as different ideas if they're separated by a comma, after "shiver."

Author's Response: Mark wasn't really submissive, but he is moving from being a follower to being a leader. That was sufficient for me to add the sub to dom tag. I don't remember exactly why I added the fantasy character tag to be honest. Probably because she's a little bit of a wet dream for most guys. There are a few very tiny things about her that aren't in most humans, but nothing that would make her non-human. "Fantasy character" is actually a pretty terrible tag in my opinion. The second it was referring to the r***. You're right about the semi-colon instead of the first comma though. My punctuation is among my weakest points, especially commas and semicolons. It's just not my strength. So when you write a paragraph on where semi colons and commas should be, and unfortunately I don't follow everything that you're saying. Sorry about that. Thank you though! I appreciate you putting effort into your reviews and will be looking forward to seeing more of you when the break ends!

Reviewer: Crescent Pulsar Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/08/14 05:49 am Title: ...Scars You for Life

Wow. A death sentence for rape? Rape's bad and all, and I certainly don't sympathize with Gregor, but it seems a bit much. Well, unless Rabbac used his influence or something...

I think the confrontation between Veronica and Rabbac spelled things out to us a bit too much, but that might just be me.

I saw a "his Gregor's" somewhere, like you changed your mind but forgot to erase one.

Author's Response: I gave some thought to simply saying the 15 year hard labor sentence, but I came to the conclusion that most of my audience probably wanted Gregor dead, so I mentioned the extremely dangerous conditions. Regarding the confrontation between Veronica and Rabbac, I decided that in a lot of elements later I don't say anything about their effects, so a bit of a simpler interaction would be fine. I also wanted to make absolutely sure that most of my readerbase realizes that despite Veronica's first impression, Rabbac is actually a pretty decent person.

Reviewer: aquerty Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/08/14 03:09 am Title: ...Scars You for Life

well done. i love the steam punk world you created and the character's development. I'm not gonna lie I kinda wanted veronica to get some kind of augmentations of some kind due to the futuristic way she was transformed. But being realistic has its benefits especially in the drama.

Author's Response: Steampunk is a fun setting, lots of cool things can be done in it. And Veronica does have a few weird things about her, but they are not connected to combat, nor immediately obvious. The genetic engineer who coded her body into the machine as a fun side project did not have war in mind. As such, we will have no exceptional augmented abilities during battles.

Reviewer: Ryker Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/07/14 12:35 am Title: Storm Front

I just started this story, and I love it so far. Steampunk is one my favorite genres, so I'm really happy to see you doing it justice! The imagery and detail you describe are very engaging, especially for the ship battles.

It's also apparent that you put some thought into this world and it's history. I'm really interesting in learning more about the setting and how these civilizations run.

My only criticism is that the characters seem a little stiff and one dimensional so far. You have plenty of time to flesh them out and give them more character, so I'm not too concerned just yet. I know in times of war it tends to dominate soldiers' lives, but they still need a bit more to make them human. I hope you expand on them and give them more interesting pursuits than just the war.

Author's Response: Steampunk is a cool genre that can be done in a dozen different ways. Ship battles are going to be periodic instead of constant, simply given that I can only come up with so many interesting encounters. The world is going to be fleshed out in bits and pieces, I'm going to try avoiding having a huge info dump. Regarding my characters, that is my weakest point. I was criticized for it with my first story, tried to work on it with Guardian, continuing to try here, but it's still not going to be my greatest strength. I will try to put as much depth into them as I can manage though.

Reviewer: TmC Signed Report
Date: 11/06/14 04:56 am Title: ...Scars You for Life

You know, while the second chapter was loading, I was actually expecting Gavin to be the one being accused. With those two conspiring against him and having him falsely accused. It doesn't make much sense in hindsight as the victims testimony could easily prove otherwise.

Author's Response: While Gavin being accused was never the plan, while writing, I noticed that the assumption could be drawn. To be perfectly honest, I removed a mention of Gregor's name just to be funny and keep people guessing. However, since Rabbac is important later in the story, I could not put Gavin on the stand by his testimony. It was briefly considered though, and the misdirection is intentional.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/05/14 10:53 am Title: Storm Front

Well written!

Author's Response: Thank you!

Reviewer: Spicyice101 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/05/14 02:39 am Title: ...Scars You for Life

Death to Gregor, slow, painful, hard working, coal mining death, mabey you should think twice before being a dick, peaple like him are horrible peaple, just because the average woman is weaker than the average man didn't mean you can abuse them, I hope he dies from lung cancer after getting a few limbs blown off!

Hopefully he treats the girls in the mine better if there are any.

Author's Response: While we will not see Gregor again, neither life nor death in the mines is pleasant. And there are no women prisoners in the mines for him to abuse, the Itterian legal system usually doesn't sentence women to hard labor. Gregor will suffer there, and he will die miles from daylight.

Reviewer: Saklad Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/04/14 11:30 pm Title: ...Scars You for Life

I like that you have given depth and morality to a character we previously knew only as a misogynist asshole. While he still is sexist, he isn't impossible to understand anymore.

Also, I like to think Veronica would have kicked Gregor's ass if she wasn't ambushed while fatigued.

Author's Response: She would certainly stand a better chance. And Rabbac was always meant to have a honorable streak, we just didn't get much chance to see it. He's still a bit full of himself, and still thinks Veronica is the exception to the rule. But a bit of sexism doesn't mean I have to make him a terrible person. Someone who is mostly decent, but slightly flawed is both more realistic and more interesting than a one-note bad guy like Gregor.

Reviewer: TaintedEyes Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/04/14 10:53 am Title: What Doesn't Kill You...

OH PLEASE put the other up NOW! i love this story because it reminds me of an anime called Last Exile. this chapter was sad but your right, it goes towards her development. keep goin :)

(im still not sure about the rating system so to let you know, my five meant the best)

Author's Response: Other chapter is in for validation. I appreciate the 5 stars, this chapter is somewhat dragging my rating down. Mood should start getting less dark for the next few chapters.

Reviewer: Ronn0k Signed Report
Date: 11/04/14 09:26 am Title: What Doesn't Kill You...

This hurt to read. This is an awesome story but damn I'm depressed now.

Author's Response: It hurt to write. Next chapter is also a little glum to start, but the mood will start slowly ramping up towards a less bleak tone. This is most likely the lowest point of the story, nothing else I have planned should cause as much pain.

Reviewer: Livvy Signed Report
Date: 11/04/14 05:51 am Title: What Doesn't Kill You...

To add to mine Gregor needs to be hanged or something.

Author's Response: or worse...

Reviewer: A_Kent Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/04/14 05:46 am Title: The Facility

That was a disturbing transformation. I heartily approve. Overall good stuff, it's great reading about airships, there simply aren't enough stories about them.

Author's Response: Air ship stories are uncommon probably because of the position based nature of the combat. There isn't really room for a surprise move that completely changes the battle. Regardless, when she gets back into the sky, I will try to keep the battles interesting

Reviewer: StephAD Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/04/14 03:00 am Title: What Doesn't Kill You...

I've said it before, and I'll probably say it again. I hate rape. I hate the idea of it. I hate the facts of it. And I hate it as a plot device. People use it to instantly villainize their characters, and I hate it so much. That being said, you wrote it well, and you wrote it respectfully (from a meta standpoint), so I'm not giving it the low rating that I almost always give rape scenes (and because I don't want to drag the overall rating down on such a good story).

Author's Response: I appreciate not giving a poor review for content that you did not like. Like I said in the end notes, I am never writing another scene like that again. Breaking a strong character, even if I know she recovers in the long run, was the hardest thing I had ever done. I'm treating this subject matter with as much respect as possible.

Reviewer: Spicyice101 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/04/14 02:52 am Title: What Doesn't Kill You...

Well, that was somthing, but Veronica is strong willed, I'm betting she will recover and plot revenge, after all, someone with the experiance of a gunner is bound to think of something devious, and being right after a period she can't have a kid, I hope she puts Gregor in his place, or someone shows him why she was there in the first place, I wonder how he would react if he knew she flew an airship all by herself, also she needs to work out more, if she puts her mind to it and works out for 2 hours a day or so, she'll end up stron enough to compeat with any of the men, I can't wait to see what that piece of shit will get.

Author's Response: Next chapter is in the validation queue. Gregor does not get a happy ending.

Reviewer: The Wedge Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/04/14 02:22 am Title: What Doesn't Kill You...

Like you said it was needed for character development, I will trust you on that. My feelings on it are does it fit into the story? I don't think that the way it was written does. Mainly the problem area I see is the last two paragraphs. If perhaps Veronica would have more fully blacked out that part perhaps?

All in all I am really enjoying the story. You haven't gotten rid of me because of this low spot. I am truly glad you decided to make a steam punk style story.

Author's Response: hmm, you might be right on her being closer to unconscious. I might touch those paragraphs up later. I'm glad you're liking the story as a whole though. I like steampunk as a setting, but there's very little of it out there. So I decided to write my own. :) More will be coming soon.

Reviewer: Crescent Pulsar Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/04/14 01:39 am Title: What Doesn't Kill You...

I just really hope that what happened in this chapter serves a good enough purpose. It was probably as hard for me to read as it was for you to write. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people like Gregor who exist in the real world.

Grammatically, a few things could do with some touching up, but I don't feel like reading this chapter again right now. I do remember "that is writes the laws," though.

Author's Response: Fixed that one error. And it does serve a purpose, much of her character will be built on rebuilding herself after this incident. She was finally starting to adjust to her new body and femininity, and this crushed that. Even once she gets her confidence back, it will take a long time before she can think of herself as a woman again. I spent hours weighing this arc, whether I should include it or not. Ultimately, the decision was to do so because it both develops Rabbac and helps to turn a laid back Mark Raynor into the slightly more uptight captain that I want Veronica to be. Trust me, the decision was not made lightly, and if I knew how much it would hurt to do this to her, I would not have done it. But I'm committed to it now. The next few chapters aren't going to be any easier.

Reviewer: Ulysses Signed Report
Date: 11/04/14 01:30 am Title: What Doesn't Kill You...

She should have found a way to castrate that pervert while he wasn't looking.

Author's Response: She tried. :/ Gregor will get his just punishment, but there was nothing Veronica could do do defend herself after she took the first blow.

Reviewer: Livvy Signed starstarstar Report
Date: 11/04/14 01:19 am Title: What Doesn't Kill You...

God chapter I dont like rape so in not giving you 5 stars, but other then that good work

Author's Response: I don't like r*** either. The chapter was written to be traumatic, not titillating. I'm glad you're enjoying the rest of the story though.

Reviewer: StephAD Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 11/02/14 01:51 pm Title: Fight

I really really really like this! I can't wait for the rest! It's super good!

Author's Response: Glad you enjoyed it. Next chapter should come up either late monday or early tuesday, depending on when the following chapter is ready.

Reviewer: Crescent Pulsar Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/30/14 08:21 am Title: Fight

Aw. With Veronica on her period, I was hoping she would power up like a constipated Super Saiyajin and throw an energy blast. ;p

Joking aside, I enjoyed the chapter. Now I have to worry about Gavin, what Gregor might be up to, and what Rabbac's maybe-smile might mean. Don't take too long with the next chapter, y'hear!?

I noticed that you wrote "moral" instead of "morale" a few times. There was a "sparing" instead of "sparring," too, I think. Also, when you say "drone out," do you mean "go on autopilot?" It might just be me, but I found its usage odd. When I looked it up, it didn't seem to mean what you were using it for, either.

Author's Response: Fixed the grammatical issues. And it might be a regional thing, but I have always heard "drone out" as being on autopilot and not paying any attention. I clarified it to prevent future confusion. Regarding how long the next chapter will take, no promises. College is keeping me busy, so it will be a while before I can do some more serious writing. Also, trust me on this, you would much rather wait for the next chapter, than wait for the two after it. While it has no period super saiyajins, the next few chapters are the core reason that this arc exists, to hit the major character development. It's not something you want to take a week long break in the middle of.

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/03/14 10:13 am Title: Pub and a Mission

Good chapter,and it let us get to know some of the crew.

Author's Response: I was very confused by this review for a minute until I saw what chapter it was on. Hopefully you also enjoyed all the chapters to follow.

Reviewer: Maggie Finson Signed Report
Date: 10/03/14 01:48 am Title: Adversaries

Just found this one and read it straight through. I like the concept and it's good story telling. Mark/Veronica seems to be looking at an uphill battle here in training however her single handedly flying and fighting a ship should stand her in good stead through that immediate future. Too bad Maria isn't around to see this.

Author's Response: Glad you're enjoying it :) I assure you that Maria would be ecstatic to have a female in captain school, even if that female is a former man. Assuming of course that fact would be kept quiet. And Veronica's escape, while demonstrating skill and getting her into the school in the first place will not be considered in whether she passes. Amazingly, for a school that most people buy their way into, they are very merit driven. The administrators of the school realize that letting people buy grades when they will lead ships in combat is a poor idea in the long run. Unfortunately, because of this their blanket policy is that only your performance in school matters, so Veronica will have to prove her flying ability all over again. But worse, she'll have to learn mathematics, and politics, and all the bits of higher learning that go into a position of military command. That will be much harder for her than simply flying.

Reviewer: Crescent Pulsar Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/02/14 09:28 pm Title: Adversaries

Meeting some antagonism was to be expected, though Gregor seems to be a bit at odds with Rabbac, regarding their association. If Rabbac had been less couth and/or had a more aggressive stance against Veronica, I'd have less trouble seeing them together. Or, vice versa, with Gregor being more couth and less aggressive. It makes me wonder how and when they met, and why one appears to be the lackey of the other. Since Rabbac doesn't seem entirely thrilled to have Gregor in agreement with him, due to how it's expressed, I'm unsure if Rabbac is more like his companion and is simply better at concealing it for appearance's sake.

That aside, the story is still progressing well.

As for the question that you answered before: I just wanted to mention that I had been under the mistaken impression that only the facility's entrance had been buried in rubble. I had forgotten a few key details since the last time that I'd read the relevant chapter. My memory leaks like a sieve. ;/

Author's Response: My goal with Rabbac is that he is an arrogant a** who is polite and capable. I want arrogance, but the talent to back it up and social skills from growing up surrounded by heads of state. A bit of dissonance between Rabbac and Gregor is intentional (and going to be very important in 2-3 chapters). Rabbac is intelligent and skilled, Gregor is a dumb brute who has latched onto someone that doesn't necessarily want a goon following him around, but won't tell him to leave without a good reason. They did not know each other before they arrived at pilot school, and although Gregor worships Rabbac, the relationship is not mutual. We'll get more personality out of Rabbac in the next few chapters, basically he's a decent, if self entitled, person who just doesn't like Veronica. Gregor can be taken at face value.

Reviewer: TheCurious Signed Report
Date: 10/02/14 03:24 pm Title: A Gunner's Job

This is an awesome story!!! Please keep it up!

Author's Response: Thanks :) I intend to keep this story up for quite a while, so I'm glad you're enjoying it!

Reviewer: fanman52 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 10/01/14 01:39 am Title: A Gunner's Job

Very interesting so far. I look forward to more.

Author's Response: Allot more is coming. This story will probably be upwards of 30 chapters, so if you're enjoying it, then I will try to keep it up. :)

Reviewer: Phoenux Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/30/14 07:33 am Title: A Gunner's Job

Love the new chapter.

Author's Response: Hopefully you'll keep loving the next few :)

Reviewer: TmC Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/30/14 05:35 am Title: A Gunner's Job

I'm really enjoying this story. I couldn’t help but laughing when she was punched in the boob, it reminded me of the same thing happening in the Scott Pilgrim series.

Author's Response: I haven't read the Scott Pilgrim series, despite meaning to for some time. Still, it's a tender target and on Veronica, it's quite a large one. Whether it's just a fight or a battle against an evil ex, it makes sense to take a swing at them if you want to put your opponent on the ground.

Reviewer: Crescent Pulsar Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/30/14 04:57 am Title: Adjusting

I'm not put off by less action and more character development, so no worries there. I enjoyed the chapter, though I did note a few typos. This one, in particular: "but it Veronica couldn't."

Oh, and I forgot to ask something before, because I was distracted by that contest. ;p I was wondering what would stop anyone from excavating that place in the canyon?

Author's Response: That typo was a leftover artifact of rephrasing the way that sentence was structured and not noticing the "it" on rereads. It has been fixed. And regarding the facility, there is nothing stopping the Urazzi from excavating it, but they won't get anything out of it. The computer, radiation emitters, and the generator were all crushed as well and they run into the Warhammer 40K problem that the knowledge of how to fix these things has been lost. The canyon is now use only to archaeologists, not scientists and generals.

Reviewer: Archer Signed Report
Date: 09/25/14 01:28 pm Title: Awakening

Man, that's depressing. Kinda called it, though...

Author's Response: That you did.

Reviewer: Ulysses Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/25/14 08:12 am Title: A Gunner's Job

What was the surprise, or was that only for winners to know? I'm not a fan of Greek mythology, but once I read the most recent response it made sence.

Author's Response: The surprise was an early look at something. Once the pilot school arc is over, everybody will get to see it. So you will eventually know the prize, but you'll have to wait a little bit longer :)

Reviewer: Crescent Pulsar Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/25/14 03:06 am Title: A Gunner's Job

Suraci is backwards for Icarus. He flew too close to the sun, which melted the wax on the wings that he was using to achieve such a feat, and fell into the ocean -- where he drowned.

Also, liking the story so far. ;p

Author's Response: We have winner! The prize has been sent to your email, hopefully you like it. It's a small prize, but I think it's cool. I'm glad you're enjoying the story so far,next part will be a bit light on action, but I hope you'll like it as well!

Reviewer: Saklad Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/24/14 11:39 pm Title: A Pilot's Skills

Is it named after a crime family? That's what I got from a quick Googling, plus a model plane and a bunch of unrelated people with that last name.

Author's Response: No, it is not named after a crime family. To narrow what needs to be searched, the name is coming from a very old piece of well known literature.

Reviewer: Saklad Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/22/14 10:33 pm Title: Awakening

While I am disappointed in the early loss of the characters you built, I am definitely enjoying this story. I knew Efren wouldn't remain in the story too long, since you built up Larne so well. It's a shame to lose Tarkus and Maria, though.

Author's Response: Tarkus and Maria both suffer from the same problem that Ryska did in Guardian, in that they were written to die. The death of the crew is somewhat essential for Mark's life to take the restart that the story revolves around. What follows pretty much requires that there is little connecting him to the past. All of the characterization that went into Maria and Tarkus was intended to make their deaths sting more. I promise that while characters might die (it's a war after all) I will not wipe out the entire cast like that again. With that said, I'm glad that you're enjoying the story so far, and I hope that you'll continue to enjoy this idea of mine.

Reviewer: Marli Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/22/14 05:19 am Title: Awakening

Enjoying this a great deal! Can't wait to read more!!

Author's Response: Thanks! More will be coming soon.

Reviewer: Archer Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 09/15/14 05:37 am Title: The Facility

The captain's change in demenor is quite odd indeed. For all they are mocked, many regulations are in place for very good reasons, and in this case the one stating there should always be someone on the ship is a very good one; when Murphey strikes, it's always good to not have had all your eggs in one basket.

Incidentally, this is a little aspect of the movie ALIEN I really like; if the crew had followed quarantine regulation, they'd have mostly survived.

On a more technical critique, numbers 0-10 should be written out, and "allot" isn't a word; what you want is "a lot". It's two words, in the same way you would write "a car" or "a man".

Author's Response: Efren's development was difficult, seeing how I could only allude to his motivations. Basically he knows that his crew doesn't like him, and he respects Commander Larne. When he sees her encourage Mark to think and ask questions, it makes him decide to try and give the crew a little more leeway. When this bit of leeway both saves their lives and locates the facility, he decides that it's a good idea. So he goes a bit overboard on the leeway, ignoring common sense. He was not necessarily thinking the consequences of letting everyone come through. Numbers I probably should be writing out, and in my particular part of the world, allot is a word, so I think that might be a regional thing.

Reviewer: TaintedEyes Signed Report
Date: 09/13/14 11:23 am Title: The Facility

I'm really enjoying this story in all honesty. i was a little worried when the story went dark but I'm glad you returned to it. keep it up :) i cant remember whether rating 1 is good or bad so ill just say awesome!

Author's Response: Thanks. College is keeping me a bit busy, so there isn't going to be a regular upload schedule, but I don't intend to abandon the story or go on hiatus. And 1 star is bad, 5 is good for future reference :P

Reviewer: Archer Signed Report
Date: 09/05/14 02:15 pm Title: Storm Front

You could probably change the rating to Adult or even lower; there's been nothing that really warrants such a harsh rating.

Author's Response: The explicit rating is for later. Right now, it could be Adult, but it is going to earn an explicit rating in a few chapters

Reviewer: Archer Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/27/14 04:10 am Title: A Gunner's Job

Oh, steampunk. Not a genre often seen here. I hope you continue.

Author's Response: It's not a genre often seen at all, but it's one I enjoy. Next chapter is half done, I just need to iron out some of the dialogue, and it should be up in the next few days

Reviewer: Ashmotal Signed Report
Date: 08/22/14 03:34 pm Title: A Gunner's Job

I have no complaints as of now! I hope to see more!

Author's Response: And see more you shall!

Reviewer: Roadbandit Signed Report
Date: 08/22/14 01:11 pm Title: A Gunner's Job

Good battle chapter.

Author's Response: Thanks. This chapter originally didn't exist, what is now chapter 2 would be chapter 1, but I couldn't think of a good way to establish the steampunk setting, so this chapter was written to establish the airship setting.

Reviewer: Saklad Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/22/14 12:45 pm Title: A Gunner's Job

Excellent descriptions and characterization. I am looking forward to seeing this story play out.

Author's Response: Thank you very much, hopefully it will play out as good as it all seems in my head.

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