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Reviewer: licorice Signed Report
Date: 04/06/15 09:46 pm Title: Thank You

this was seriously screwed up and sherry just made at least one more monster in the form of Amy.

Reviewer: VampGuy Signed Report
Date: 09/03/14 04:42 pm Title: Thank You

I liked it. Wouldn't mind a follow up on Sherry though....an look back to see how she turned out after having to go t g rough all that

Author's Response: Thanks for the review, unfortunately there will be no follow up. The story is done.

Reviewer: Dayna Signed Report
Date: 08/18/14 03:21 am Title: Mini-Vacation

OMG! Holy FC!.. Can you spell violence against women, virtual or not the author takes great glee in dredging up every crime that could be committed against a woman in particular and against a human being in particular!

I cannot begin to express my disgust with this story. Very well written if you can stop throwing up long enough to read it.

The story moves along... how could it now... you either like this (are you weird? am I for hating it?) or you will being bringing a bucket to keep going.

one big giant EWWWW!

Dayna

I did not rate this... but if I had it would be a negative just for subject.

Author's Response: That's a fair complaint, I generally take a much less psychotic view in my writing but this was dredging the bottom for me and I was definitely digging even further by the end. If you want to read a FAR less mysogynistic story, i would recommend virtually any other story I have ever written. I promise you won't need a barf bag.

Reviewer: EarthEmber Signed starstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/17/14 10:32 pm Title: Thank You

Very, very good storyline! Only rated a 4 because I'm not a fan of rape/sex scenes, (Or ridiculous violence either!). Even so, the quality of the writing still kept me reading, and I enjoyed it to the end.

Well done.

Author's Response: That is totally fair, and really appreciated. Surprisingly I'm not a big fan of r***/sex or extreme violence either, this was more to push my limits and it went totally off the rails and well beyond what I had planned. So thanks for your review it put a smile on my face. If you like horror without the sex or extreme violence you may want to check out my newest story, Servant of the Fae. It's much more psychological horror.

Reviewer: redneck07 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/16/14 03:20 pm Title: Thank You

I like it but you should of left the other chapter as well so we see she did get that golden sun
Just as an happy ending to a very brutal story but I like see what she did to Blondie but I hope Amy is all right she just a child with a very messed up parent
But good story
I like the good guys to win every now and again
Hope to read something new from you soon

Author's Response: Nah, after seriously thinking things over, this story doesn't deserve a happy ending. It's brutal, violent, and dark enough to deserve it's own circle of hell. The happy-ish ending didn't fit enough without changing too much other stuff. But once again thanks for your reviews, they really have helped.

Reviewer: redneck07 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/16/14 03:20 pm Title: Thank You

I like it but you should of left the other chapter as well so we see she did get that golden sun
Just as an happy ending to a very brutal story but I like see what she did to Blondie but I hope Amy is all right she just a child with a very messed up parent
But good story
I like the good guys to win every now and again
Hope to read something new from you soon

Author's Response: I have a bunch of other stories. If you like comedy mixed with horror, read the Memoirs of Alice Rose: The Bimbo Cult, it deals with the Cthulu mythos and a gentleman adventurer from the 1920's who was put in the body of a young woman in 2010. I also have the Saga of the Warrior Bimbo, a fantasy parody where the prophesied hero is turned into a sex crazed bimbo and must stop the Dark Lord. For something thats violent but isn't over the top, I have The Kings Sword, sort of a Game of Thrones setting for teens, involving a cross dressing farm girl. Magical Mishaps is another funny fantasy, involving an unlucky cursed wizards apprentice. And finally a sci-fi story Switched, where a man has to deal with being a woman after a horrific accident forces doctors to put him into a cloned body.

Reviewer: A_Kent Signed Report
Date: 08/16/14 03:05 pm Title: Thank You

After reading Redneck07 and Minikisa, I've taken there ideas and ran with them.
I hope you enjoy darkness. :-)

Reviewer: Minikisa Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/16/14 02:27 pm Title: Mini-Vacation

Welp, that was unrelentingly brutal. Mind you, it was well-written - excellent action scenes, good, realistic dialogue and very vivid descriptions. Still, I'd be lying if I said I enjoyed it; it is a horror story in every sense of the word.

I found the resolution with Blondie... unsatisfying. What Sherry did to that child was horrific. I get that this is meant to be a monster born out of monsters-situation but, absurdly, despite me just complaining about it being too horrific, it didn't go dark enough for my tastes. The final chapter still asks us to see Sherry as a sympathetic protagonist, to be happy she's with someone who comforts her and to feel sorry when she starts crying. Yet when a character is at the point where they're targeting innocents - that kid is going to be traumatized for life - then they are no longer sympathetic. Tragic, yes, but not somebody you root for.

So I feel it either needs to commit to showing that Sherry has become a monster (perhaps an epilogue where we see her perpetuating the circle of violence), or to leave the kid out of it.

Still, a good story from a talented author.

Author's Response: That's fair, I was seriously considering if I should have the daughter involved or not and if she would actually go through with it. After reading it over again, I think you may be right. I just had my heart set so much on it the ending, I didn't change it enough. I'll seriously consider how to change it. Thanks, this is why I love critical reviews.

Reviewer: redneck07 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/16/14 02:15 pm Title: Thank You

I want to know what she did to Blondie and Amy
Goof story

Author's Response: I'll think about it, but I think this is one of those things that I should leave to the reader to decide. I'm really glad you enjoyed the story. Thanks for reading.

Reviewer: redneck07 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/16/14 03:01 am Title: They're Here

Now what to do with Blondie

Author's Response: You're going to have fun reading that, it's elaborate and vicious.

Reviewer: TranquilHell Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/14/14 07:06 pm Title: Mini-Vacation

Only thing i find wrong is not enough content. I love the brutality.

Author's Response: That's fair, this is essentially a first draft so some parts are a bit light on details. I'm glad that's your only complaint. Thanks for the comment, you should really like the next five or six chapters.

Reviewer: redneck07 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/14/14 02:41 pm Title: Can You Focus?

Well let see what is in store for the other hackers
Good story

Author's Response: Thanks. It's about to get bloody, but as I've said before it's not going to be all one sided. Everyone still has some tricks up their sleeves. Thanks for reading.

Reviewer: TheTGMonster Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 08/02/14 12:24 am Title: Fun City

Good. I'm pretty sure I've left like 5 reviews on this story so far. :p

Author's Response: Leave more, I won't complain. Glad you like it.

Reviewer: Antonaqua Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 07/24/14 06:23 pm Title: Mini-Vacation

I really like the concept and the story itself. It reminds me of Farfalla, by Ruen Roga. A guy getting trapped in the virtual world as a woman. Also the different worlds are also nice.
Though there's one thing that I do not like about this story :
There are not enough chapters yet. I crave for more.

I wish to see more, you got me hooked.

Author's Response: More is coming, but I aim to have it done within two weeks or less and 30k + words. Right now I am debating with myself over how bad the next section after the Silent House, will be. I have bad, and horrifying to choose from.... I haven't heard of that book, but I'll look for it after I'm done. Thanks a lot for the review.

Reviewer: Faye Kistry Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 07/23/14 09:34 am Title: Don't Say A Word

Beautiful imaginative writing. I'm really enjoying this now.

Author's Response: Glad you like it. The first part with the torture I thought was ok, it really showed her desperation, but frankly I enjoy this latest section more. I hate having mc's who can't or won't fight back, so like you I'm really enjoying it now to.

Reviewer: Pablo Signed Report
Date: 07/20/14 09:59 pm Title: Mini-Vacation

Oh, one last thing. These hackers had better not be bored adolescents. I'm getting old, I suppose, but I don't really have much patience for today's youth and their Clockwork Orange Ultraviolent ways. Liked the movie, though. It's Kubrick after all.

Author's Response: I'm not sure if I'll actually show the real hackers, but no these guys may be in their twenties but they won't be bored teens. The stuff they had to do is too complicated for adolescents looking for a thrill.

Reviewer: Pablo Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 07/20/14 09:54 pm Title: Turning Tables

This is just a thought I'm going to throw out there. Go tell your fellow employers and employees to F- off or something. This displaced anger is sad. If holding it in, leads to this, what happens when this no longer is enough and you need to tell them what you think of them all? As for the story, wow. VR from hell, that's all I can say . Didn't put me to sleep though. Very riveting.

Author's Response: I am actually quitting in August. It's just a lot of stress with work, getting my wife and daughter immigrating to canada, and from my schedule barely seeing my daughter this month, so I need to relieve the stress. But the story is also in response to some stories I've read here were bad things happen to the character, and they either barely fight back, or no matter what they try something goes wrong. This is a dark story, not my darkest but definitely the most violent, yet she is fighting back and getting some success. So it's definitely an 'earn your happy ending' kind of story, not simply torture p***.

Reviewer: Pablo Signed Report
Date: 07/20/14 08:48 pm Title: Checking Out

You really were in a dark place when you wrote this, weren't you?

Author's Response: Not really, if I was in my dark place it would involve children and the kids would be dying not from hackers but from the uncaring world. I've done bleak, this is nasty, not bleak. Thanks for all the reviews, it's really appreciated.

Reviewer: Pablo Signed Report
Date: 07/20/14 07:55 pm Title: Take a Break

If this were one of my "astral dreams" I'd really want out badly.

Author's Response: Anyone would want out.

Reviewer: Pablo Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 07/20/14 07:49 pm Title: Dance For Us

I think if these devices (yours and mine) ever do go full five sensory surround, the internet connected version should always come with strong warnings. Of course, this story makes sense. If it can be hacked and bad things done to it, it's the human way. Sadistic pleasure, it's so fun for some people.

Author's Response: Definitely. There are warnings and physical safeguards to keep what's happening in this story from happening, that's why Sherry was so shocked and no one around her really believes what's happening. As Blondie said in the story, it took months to write the code, and they had to physically mess with her VR suite. I think it would be similar in the real life future, and we will have sadistic SOB's who manage it occassionally.

Reviewer: Pablo Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 07/20/14 07:36 pm Title: Safeword

Wow, talk about the VR version of going to hell. And I thought I had it rough a few years ago when in my astral projected dream I wound up in a fraternity house for after-lifers and the bastards wouldn't let me leave. I had to outsmart them. It's all outlined in a chapter of Angie's Revenge. Oh, yeah, AKent I've been in situations like this.

Author's Response: Having to go through this or anything remotely like this would be really bad, fortunately for me this is all from the imagination.

Reviewer: TheTGMonster Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 07/19/14 08:41 pm Title: Mini-Vacation

So, it's over? I hope you make a series out of this.

Author's Response: There's more coming at least 8 more chapters. It's called Pyrrhic victory, because she got some information, but got badly hurt doing it, and almost captured which would be very bad. That's the good thing about VR, I can do almost anything to her and she'll come back for more.

Reviewer: redneck07 Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 07/19/14 06:29 pm Title: Turning Tables

Dam that some fucked up stuff happening to her
It us a good story hope to read more keep up the good work

Author's Response: Yes it is, but she is starting to return the favour. Things are about to get ultra violent now that all the cards are on the table, a no quarter asked, no quarter given type of fight. Thanks for reading it's appreciated.

Reviewer: Ryker Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 07/19/14 02:34 pm Title: Mini-Vacation

Not really a fan of most horror lit, but I love the concept of VR so I hung in there. Could this be what I was waiting for? :) Rating is for your writing skill. ;)

Author's Response: I usually do more psychological horror myself, so this action packed, torture stuff is totally different for me as well. Thanks for reading and the rating. I really appreciate it, I hope you keep hanging in there and enjoy what I have planned.

Reviewer: TheTGMonster Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 07/19/14 01:05 am Title: Mini-Vacation

Yay! Hopefully those hackers get what's coming to them!

Author's Response: Glad you like it, but she isn't out of the woods yet. Far, far from it.

Reviewer: Minikisa Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 07/16/14 05:05 pm Title: Hope Spot

Now this is a rather intriguing premise. Being an avid MMO player, I'm naturally intringued by the concept of immersive VR and damn if hackers aren't a terrifying prospect. Poor Shelly/Tom. I hope s/he turns the tables on these sociopaths soon.

I'm downright envious of your ability to write action scenes; you have great control over the flow of tension, kudos.

Small nitpick...

"no one staring at her because she giggled like a school over something silly. " (Ch. 2)

How does one giggle like a school...? ;)

Author's Response: Well to giggle like a school, you need a really deep voice like a strict British school master, and the ability to sound like a classroom full of 4 year olds at the same time. If you can get some California trust fund baby titters in there as well you'll be perfect. Thanks I just corrected it. I agree hackers would be terrifying if they had this type of VR. Which is why I specifically mentioned how much work they had to go through to hack the VR stuff like they did. No one would trust it if they knew their brain could be hacked without an amazing amount of effort. Thanks for the kind words, I really have to focus on it when writing down the action scenes, as they don't come naturally to me. It took years of writing zombie apocalypse stories to get to the point where I am now. Its really nice to hear it paid off. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

Reviewer: Natasa Jessica Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 07/16/14 02:09 pm Title: Dance For Us

Good luck girl

Author's Response: She's going to need it.

Reviewer: Natasa Jessica Signed Report
Date: 07/16/14 02:03 pm Title: Safeword

wow

Author's Response: Thanks, it gets worse. My characters really hate me when I am stressed out, because I beat them with a stick until they cry. If Tom ever comes to life, I'm a dead man.

Reviewer: Natasa Jessica Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 07/16/14 01:56 pm Title: Mini-Vacation

VR isn't a bad choice for a story

Author's Response: Thanks for the 5 stars. I actually got the idea from a Piers Anthony book written in the 90's. It was about a diabetic girl and a man who had been in a car accident and needed a lot of medical care playing on a VR system where instead of the net it was all MMORPG's and similar games. A hacker who just liked to screw with people, not really maliciously trapped the man in the game, and with his condition every time he died he risked actually dying from the penalty jolt he received. I took that idea and made it a LOT more violent.

Reviewer: TheTGMonster Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 07/15/14 11:26 pm Title: Mini-Vacation

Great story! Can't wait to see more!

Author's Response: There will be more, don't worry. Thanks for reading.

Reviewer: The Storyteller guy Signed starstarstarstarstar Report
Date: 07/15/14 07:33 pm Title: Take a Break

This is pretty interesting. I hope she stabs that arsehole.

Author's Response: Thanks for reading. No spoilers, but I did say the violence won't all be one sided so stay tuned.

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