Date: 10/27/17 02:27 am Title: Day Three - Part Four
Crazy and fun.
Definitly worth reading, though i prefer thinking it ends with an open ending at the 13th chapter.
Could have been a lot greater if the story advanced further but was still pretty good.
Sad to say i didnt like the last 2 chapters.
Bringing in gods then the randomness of the 15th chapter kinda ruined the whole for me.
Still cant have been easy with multiple writers, great work!
Date: 10/25/14 12:29 pm Title: Part 1 Tergun Relatus (1)
So i love the story so far and the characters you guys have created but, i there is only one minor thing that has been bothering me. In the parts including the twins, marshal, and his sister there is a common occurrence of those characters answering multiple questions at the same time.(especially the twins do this) I'm not sure if this is on purpose or if it is a character trait of those characters but is kinda annoying sometimes to read when a character refers to different questions in different parts of a conversation and answer them all at the same time.
But honestly other than that its a wonderful story you guys have created so far
keep up the good work.
Author's Response: With the twins, sometimes they get into three sided conversations and they fight over who answers what first. For Marshall and Rosie, it sometimes seems more natural. But we'll work on it a little more to help the flow. Thanks a lot for reading and letting us know what you think.
Date: 09/20/14 06:56 pm Title: Part 1 Tergun Relatus (1)
OK, that was a weird glitch Hikaro. Viewed the chapter and it was run together, looked at it on the edit panel and each paragraph was separate... put in the html paragraph tags tho enforce the formatting. Checked it again and it is the way it should be.
Date: 09/20/14 05:10 pm Title: Part 1 Tergun Relatus (1)
I can honestly say, this chapter doesn't work as a giant paragraph.
Author's Response: Hmmm... something must have glitched on the site possibly when I added the breaks to the begin and end notes. I'll fix the text again.
Date: 09/01/14 10:40 pm Title: Day Two - Part Three
Thickening plots! A non-robot villain, and his subordinate! Characters meeting other characters! Characters learning their various powers! Other things happening! This story keeps getting better (and longer) with every new segment, and I can only hope it continues.
Oh, and the potential Marshall/Rosie incest was kinda obvious, just sayin'.
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked the new villain Hikaro. Their will be more characters meeting characters and some things happening in the next few chapters plus your demand has been answered.
Date: 08/28/14 04:09 pm Title: Day Two - Part Two
Well, that was eventful. It's also finally starting to feel like a shared story as opposed to separate vignettes slapped on the same page. Keep it up, guys, keep, it, up.
Author's Response: Thank you very much. I'm editing some things for Day 4 right now, and some of the things we get up to as a group will be surprising.
Date: 08/26/14 04:26 pm Title: Part 1 Tergun Relatus (1)
So we have one writer outed. I've already talked to Hikaro and you'll be seeing his cameo around Day 6 or 7.
Minikisa emailed me with another guess that was correct and her cameo will appear around the same time.
So are their anymore guesses?
Linus = ACDC Metal Fan
Date: 08/25/14 11:49 pm Title: Day Two - Part One
Well, the plot thickens... Normal people are, predictably, afraid of the heroes all the while a select few don't seem to have a problem with them. Overall, the story (and editing) is improving. There are still those weird tense shifts in Marshall and Rosie's scenes, and during this last section with Linus, this paragraph:
He didn’t need his ears to know what was coming next. The man was about to do an all out assault on him. This made the man look menacing, but at the same time it gave Linus an amazing chance. He waited for the man to get closer, and in the matter of seconds, he moved inside the mans reach, and gave him the strongest uppercut to the stomach he had ever done.
was shown twice, once after the other. Also, during Alexander/Alex's clothing store section, r32 appeared three times. I dunno why, it just did. Other than those couple of quirks, everything else seemed fine, and the story is getting better overall.
Now... ACDC Metal Fan = Linus, right?
Author's Response: I'll triple check the editing, it could have just been a repeated paste insert that slipped by. Good guess as to Linus.
Date: 08/20/14 01:09 am Title: Day One - Part Three
Okay, so only good guys change gender, seeing as the Russian is still male. So far, the twins are the only characters that seem out of place, probably because they keep going around telling people what they are and expect random people to have enough of a background in particle physics to not say "What the fuck did you just tell me?!" Michael is turning out the best and most fleshed-out character, and I like Marshall and Rosie a bit. That's actually something I wanted to bring up, whenever Marshall and Rosie show up, the text keeps shifting between present and past tense, often in the same sentence. That and the twins are the only things that draw attention to there being multiple authors, actually. Seriously, though, the twins expect too much particle physics knowledge from complete strangers. Keep up the damn good work.
Author's Response: About the changing tense that's a problem we're working on, I'll go over it again today. The next three parts should be posted today or we'll be yelling at the designer, and it will help put the spot light on other characters and flesh them out more. So thank you very much for the reviews we are listening and trying to improve.
Date: 08/19/14 01:09 am Title: Day One - Part Two
So, Michael is the only one who passed through dimensions? All the while the others remained where they were... Why would that be? Perhaps there's an answer next chapter. The twins seem like they could be potential villains, what with their off-site experiments. Government agents aren't likely to use revolvers, though I demand an Agent Indiana at some point (my home state, I'm selfish). I find myself wondering... Are the MIB and the robot that nobody must have noticed entering the building connected somehow? I'm gonna keep reading so that I can find out.
Author's Response: Discovering the reasons and secrets of the Dimensions will play a big part in forthcoming chapters, not the next one though. And there is a reason for Michael and the others. As for the robot it should be made clear in part three how it got in. As for the rest, I can't and/or won't say or even give hints. You'll just have to keep reading. Thanks again for the reviews.
Date: 08/18/14 04:56 pm Title: Day One - Part One
Hey, a cat girl that interests me! I'm hoping for some more info on what exactly the twins have become in later chapters, I've got to say. The sculptor still doesn't interest me (sorry, my problem, not yours). I'm gonna guess super strength for Marsha (was expecting something to do with the dead, considering she worked at a graveyard), and I can't figure out what the hell is up with Linus. Michael is shaping up to be the character I'm most interested in, since s/he's the only one to have noticed any differences in the world so far (no smartphones in his dimension and tofu is the world's favorite food?! Bizarro-Earth if ever I heard of it). Damn good so far, and I hope it only gets better.
Author's Response: Each character gets described more in upcoming chapters, so you'll find out a lot more soon, and find things to like about each one. As for Michael noticing the differences, there is a very important reason she notices the difference so quickly, keep reading to learn about it. Thank you for reading and posting your thoughts, it's appreciated by all of us.
Date: 08/18/14 03:08 pm Title: Part 1 Tergun Relatus (3)
Of all of these characters (in this section of the chapter, that is), the only one that seems all that interesting is the outrageously stereotypical Russian. The twins seem okay but a little lame (and, seriously? Just find an off-campus apartment, faking being a married couple?). They might get better with some progression, however. The sculptor just seems like a boring character, honestly. Well, that's another one down, and the mystery is still drawing me in. Onto the next one!
Author's Response: Thank you for the critique. I won't tip my hand as to which of the characters I am personally responsible for, nor even my own opinions of any of the characters at this stage of the development of the story, other than to say one of my favorites is not my own. Given the nature of the collaboration, and the widespread locations of the contributing authors (China, Mexico, US...) coordinating the interactions of the characters in future chapters is an interesting experience. Hopefully you will enjoy some of the surprise twists and turns coming in the future, as this is definitely beginning to take on a life of its own. I can't wait to see what the rest of the group submits and how it comes together.
Date: 08/17/14 05:01 pm Title: Part 1 Tergun Relatus (2)
There are some small things that slipped past the editor, but other than that, the story's getting better, and the set-up is working. I'm not sure I'd want to live in a world where tofu is the food of choice for the country's leading fast food chain, however. What kind of twisted place does that happen in?
Author's Response: I wouldn't want to live there either, fortunately Michael now lives in a world with real food. And giant robots who want to dissect her. It's still a fair trade I think. Thanks for the comment.
Date: 08/14/14 01:04 am Title: Part 1 Tergun Relatus (1)
Google Earth still shows my driveway from 2005, so I doubt it would be updated even to include a giant crater in Africa. Other than that, I'm enjoying it so far.
Author's Response: Element 118 has clearly improved Google Earth, as well as evolution and reality. Thanks for reading, the next chapter or three should be up this weekend, the editing is largely done, now we're just doing last minute changes and sorting.
Date: 07/27/14 09:15 pm Title: Part 1 Tergun Relatus (3)
Wow, ok so at first i was kinda skeptical now that we are in chapter 3 and there are still new characters being introduced, but after reading I have to say that that it really is working well so far. And with a collaborative power of all the authors it should be very interesting in the changes these characters go through. I'm curious if because its many different authors, each of you guys have your own style of transformation(so far all the characters have the purple flash in common but will they all transform the same or will they be different according to who wrote the part?)
Author's Response: The initial part was broken up into three because it was so large initially. Each author has their own style, and we will collaborate on chapters where each author's main character(s) interact. Each has their own transformation and special powers.
Date: 07/13/14 06:20 pm Title: Part 1 Tergun Relatus (1)
ya i saw the length of the story and kinda got scared but then noticed the awesome list of authors who worked on it and was a no brainer then to read it. i know i cant be the only 1 who enjoyed it so please post a review!!
Author's Response: Thanks diaperdd, after reading this review we're working out a system of posting, that won't overwhelm the readers with words, and won't get out of control with one author leaping ahead of everyone else and getting the time confused. Once we have the details worked out, probably tomorrow there is at least one or two writers ready to go, with the rest later this week. Thanks again. And everyone we really like reviews, even if they're critical. So if you liked it or hated it let us know. Thanks.
Date: 07/13/14 04:09 pm Title: Part 1 Tergun Relatus (1)
Wow read that whole story Two times and can't figure out who wrote it. But as for the story, I'm loving how all of it is blending together or I think it is. Should be interesting to see how all this comes together. You got my interest peaked for sure. So great story so farms
Author's Response: Thanks for reading and the review diaperdd, we all appreciate it. For anyone who can guess who writes which character, I will put the person of your choice into my section of the universe as a full time minor character or as someone who gets humiliated. Your choice. You don't have to guess us all, if you just guess one author to MC, it's enough.