Date: 01/21/16 10:17 pm Title: Consequences
Ooh, that Dr. Moore rubs me the wrong way. She was blaming the victim, not the slobbering asshole that tried to force his way onto a someone way smaller than he was. But, that's the way with life these days, and I hope she takes that Dr. down a few pegs for her piss-poor bedside manner. Oooh!
Date: 12/04/14 02:16 am Title: A Present From My Brother
This is very different for you, and it's a shame that I've only just found the time to read it, because it's as excellent as everything else you've written.
Author's Response: Its also my very first story here, and a pain in the butt. I am much better at doing dark stuff. But I'm glad you're reading it now, I accidentally updated it last night with the wrong story. I'll be finishing it off as soon as Slave of the Fae is done. I'm slowly working through my backlog. You'll notice my older stories are happier and funner than my more recent ones. Thanks.
Date: 12/04/14 12:12 am Title: So Much to Learn
So far so good :) I don't mind your whole chapter on clothes, you had to get it out the way and I think considering that's not your quality it's done good, I'm gonna read the rest later too.
Author's Response: Thanks. As soon as I'm done Slave of The Fae, I'm going to finish this one. After a lot of head bashing I think I have a decent second and third half done that won't drag out the things I find boring and won't seem badly rushed. And this is my first story here, so it has problems.
Date: 10/06/14 09:06 pm Title: A Present From My Brother
I thoroughly enjoyed the story so far especially futuristic parts. You really created yourself an interesting world. Out of personal interest how did you decide on writingstyle and use perspective. In my experience with writing I've always had trouble with writing in first person it always ends up getting confusing.
Author's Response: Thank you very much. I wasn't very good at first person either, and I wasn't a big fan of it until the last two years. Even now I generally prefer most of my stories to be in 3rd person. But for TG, and a growing trend in young adult stories, first person is useful and growing in popularity, so this was a challenge for myself. Could I actually write it successfully. So far my biggest problem has been when I'm writing one story in 3rd and another in 1st one after the other and I forget which one is which as I'm writing. I've had to rewrite a dozen paragraphs on occasion when that happens.
Date: 09/29/14 05:04 pm Title: A Present From My Brother
My sister is a midwife she has mentioned the birth control implants. Not too sure if they will work with me I'm so fertile a cross eyed sperm looks at one of my eggs and I'm pregnant. Like most I hate the stomach cramps too it usually heralds a visit from Aunt Flo that might be an interesting experience for Chris too. OH yes B.O.B (Battery Operated Boyfriend) sometimes a girl's best friend OK now I got all that out of the way.
A very interesting chapter I was kinda half right with the hormone imbalance lol. It seems that you are just clearing up one part and starting to build up the next part of Chris' situation/dilemma. The vibrator part is very funny but I'm thinking that Chris isn't quite ready to lose himself in his new sex yet, if ever. Looking at your chapter end notes it's good that you're now in the right place to write this story. A dark mindset would not be good at all but I do look forward to see what direction you know move in,
Author's Response: Honestly I had kind of written myself into a corner until you suggested that, I hadn't thought of it and besides tons of mental therapy I didn't know how to get out of it. So I made you 100% right and ran with it. Thank you. And my mindset is important, it too easily makes my work turn dark even if I personally am only a little stressed. It's why I can write a horror and dark fantasy novella more easily than a short comedy. Annoying habit of mine. Thanks for commenting as always.
Date: 09/29/14 04:54 am Title: A Present From My Brother
I didn't know that a person's emotions could be directly affected by something such as the implant. I study the epigenetics of the neuroendocrine system and what things can affect it directly or indirectly. Was this implant the same kind you referred to, the rod inserted inder the arm to release birth control hormones?
Author's Response: Here is info on the implant I mentioned earlier http://www.teensource.org/birth-control/implant. It's different from the ministering implant I mentioned in this chapter. The bad implant was suppose to be a diagnostic tool only, monitoring hormone levels and other things, when it failed, a hormone imbalance was Not detected, causing all the trouble.
Date: 09/28/14 05:50 pm Title: A Present From My Brother
Excellent chapter,the storyline is still interesting!
Author's Response: Thanks. I think this story will go on for another 20K words, or so, and then it will end. But it's going to be an interesting 20 or even 30K.
Date: 09/06/14 04:15 pm Title: Pissed
I think sometimes we get too 'bogged down' with facts, figures and realism. To indicate what I mean did Jules Verne, HG Wells and George Orwell question Is there a prehistoric world at the center of the Earth? Is time travel realistic? And Will the world or society really be dominated by cameras and computers in or by 1984? I think it was one of Patricia Cornwell's characters Lucy Farenelli I believe she was talking to her Aunt Kay Scarpetta discussing modern technology. Lucy said just imagine something no matter how far fetched it is withing the next 5 or 10 years it will either be fact or close to fact. Since the Industrial revolution particularly in Europe science and technology is moving faster then ever before. My Mom was telling me that several years ago they developed a hypo spray like you see on Star Trek it was designed for people who are literally scared to death of hypodermic needles. Scientists have also managed to beam/teleport an atom from one place to another. I think we have to remember that this is a story part of someones imagination.
This has to be a pretty tough time for Chris his male brain keeps kicking in at the wrong time. I think it's also ironic that Shatner almost echoed what Dr Moore was saying too. I'm wondering if Chris is going to need some 'hormonal' treatment especially as he is mentally male and in a female body. My thoughts are that there may be a hormone imbalance as he does seem to be heading for the Psyche wards.
Author's Response: I keep it as realistic as the story needs. If I can get 95% of the science right without damaging the story, I'll be amazed and very happy. It it's only 50% but the story is good, I'll be happy. The way Shatner and Dr. Moore copied each other had me worried. It was another reason I struggled with this chapter. But it makes sense, so I eventually said to heck with it, lets just get it done. And I'm not going to say what is wrong with Chris, or what I have planned. But thanks that's a really good idea. As always Cheryl I love hearing from you, you have a great way of kickstarting my muse, and as I've discovered writing stories without magic or super science is pretty hard for me to keep going, so your comments are an enormous help. Thank you.
Date: 09/04/14 08:49 pm Title: Emasculating
Do such EEG systems exist? I know FMRI's and stuff like that are in the works, but something like this could really be useful, like a polygraph detector, and a probe inserted in the bloodstream to measure hormones and other chemical messengers.
Author's Response: We're getting close to this kind of thing. They just sent an email from Europe to India using a machine that scanned the brain and read the brainwaves to create the message. Combine that type of brain scanner with a small probe to scan the blood for hormones and done. Minimally invasive and very possible.
Date: 09/04/14 06:01 pm Title: Yay! Shopping!
The inhibitor thing sounds interesting. A further description would probably be helpful, because I don't think I know what it is. Is it a transdermal patch of some sort? Also, how would it affect the protagonist's appearance, by the bulge on the right arm?
Author's Response: They have it today for birth control. It's a small tube put in the woman's arm and it releases hormones to prevent pregnancy. If you know exactly where to touch you could feel it, but the only other sign is a small scar on the inside of the arm. It's good for at least one year, maybe more, can't remember offhand. I just advanced it a little.
Date: 09/04/14 03:17 am Title: Joys of Family
What was the intended word, acc--? Accept?
Constructive criticism is better than negative criticism, which is bad.
Author's Response: Yeah, that's what Mary was going to say until she got cut off by Chris having the panic attack.
Date: 09/04/14 02:36 am Title: Somethings Different
This is truly a speculative science story, as I am an avid transhuman advocate, so I am knowledgeable about nanomedicine, stem cell, replacement cloning, cryogenics.
If you can kindly respond to my enquiries, that would be excellent.
What does C-body mean. Clone body, perhaps?
Also, what information do you have which suggests that brains can only be transplanted once, instead of multiple times?
what are the ethics of not giving out personal information, even if it is of the diseaced? Would it be due to identity theft, fear of recognition (such as what you stated 'Jenny, I thought you were dead!')
The year 2025 is only eleven years away. A lot can happen in eleven years. Check out http://www.EvolutionOfMedicineSummit.com/ to watch a seven-day presentation on the revolutionising of medicine.
Author's Response: Here are the answers in order. C-bodies does mean clone bodies. No information. It's an act of god/author to make the story possible. Similar to the idea of not disclosing tissue donors without special permission today. Also fear of recognition and emotional distress. The story is a little further ahead then that, it's in the late 2020's or early 30's. I think i may be jumping the gun a tiny bit with how effectively they could clone an entirely healthy new human body, but only by a decade or two. I'm a dabbler in transhumanism, so I keep an eye on the medical research, and except for the body rejecting a second brain transplant, I'm keeping everything as realistic as possible. I will check out the link when I have time tonight, I want my cloned body so I can get my hair back. Thank you for your comments and questions, keep them coming.
Date: 09/03/14 09:55 am Title: Pissed
Very interesting the way you went with this chapter,the way you wrote it,it seems he was a hot head before this bar fight.looking forward to the next chapter.
Author's Response: Yeah, a lot of guys on Wall Street are. It's not as bad now, but some business guys are still very high strung. It was trying to figure out just how hot headed Chris reallly is that kept this chapter unfinished on my computer for so long. It was to be frank, like pulling teeth.
Date: 08/26/14 03:40 pm Title: Emasculating
love this story. Hope Chris stays a girl instead of going back to his old self.
Author's Response: No promises. I am going where Chris takes me, but whatever happens he's going to be coming out a different person. Thanks for commenting.
Date: 08/18/14 07:29 am Title: Emasculating
A very interesting way to approach the denial stage. Yet typical of Chris' character take an offense stance rather than defense. A friend of mine at my local church was telling me about this school of thought concerning gender issues. Say you were born male totally hetrosexual but depending on the amount of estrogen in the womb you may develop a female brain. Basically meaning you acquire some or a lot of female traits and the same can occur the other way round. One of the more physical ways of telling is the ring finger of a male is as long/short as the index finger. Although it can never be proven one way or the other there does seem to be some merit in it we have both male and female hormones in our bodies. I'm also wondering how he is going to explain all this to Shatner on the other hand will he (Shatner) allow so much 'leeway' due to Chris' gender confusion after all he has a male brain in a female body. Once again a good thought provoking chapter.
Author's Response: I've heard the same thing. I haven't read it closely enough to judge one way or the other, but its an interesting idea. I wasn't actually sure how to do this scene until the other day, I had no idea how to do a decent therapist scene, and it would have bored me to tears trying to write it. So I took your comments from earlier about going into a bit of detail about the technology and details to show off the VR tech. Putting Chris into a make out session was just icing on the cake. Thanks as always for the comments. He'll either deal with Shatner or the police in the next chapter. Cheers.
Date: 08/16/14 04:58 pm Title: Consequences
Hum I like it so far
One punch and k.o.
I laughed so hard when her brother walked in on her trying to duck on herself
Then the sister bring up vibratory feel better lol
I wonder if she will end up likeing and staying a girl
Now I hope she and that waitress hooks up
Hope to read more soon
Keep them coming
Author's Response: Now that the big horror story is done, I'll be focusing on this one. And yeah, Chris has an odd family. Cheers.
Date: 08/04/14 05:57 pm Title: Consequences
HaHa just what we were talking about before consequences! Dr Moore gave Chris some good advice probably not appreciated at that time as I'm sure his pride was pretty bruised too. That is very true though two guys throw a few punches it generally gets broken up, the guys sleep it off and it's all over. Girls do go for total destruction and we never forget it's personal. I remember in High School we had a rival school over for a football game I hate the sport but loved cheer leading. I got into a fight with one of the other teams cheer leaders I remember my fingers were so tangled in her hair it took the coach and a couple of jocks to drag me off her. I was also bouncing her head into the ground as well lucky for me I had the upper hand as I know she'd have done the same to me. The point is thought that although it took three to drag me off her does not mean I have the combined strength of a couple of Jocks it just means I can be a bitch! A very interesting chapter it's going to be interesting now to see what road Chris will now take. I think we can assume that Shatner knows how aggressive Chris is in business so is he impressed that Chris can still do the job?
Author's Response: I read about that a few years ago, bouncers and hospitals were reporting a rise in women fights and how they needed to go to the hospital much more often than men because in the words of one bouncer "They try to rip their faces off." Most men don't realize women can be vicious if given a reason to be. As for what happens next, I have some ideas, but I'm not one hundred percent sure about any of them or how quickly they should come into play. So I'm going to take a few days to think things through before writing, this is the first major conflict for Chris, I want to go about it carefully. Thanks for reading and as usual I love your comments.
Date: 08/02/14 11:55 am Title: Take the Good With the Bad
Shatner? Well I hope he's a better boss than Bill Shatner is an actor/director. Sorry the devil made me say it lol. Another good chapter I'm really beginning to like Chris trying not to sound sexist but he does seem a lot like most guys I know. My husband included he acts first then worries about or deals with the consequences later. Men generally have more upper body strength than we have although it has been known for women to lift as much as a ton to rescue a child. But that is an extreme case and not one that most of us will come across. But drunks yeah that's a hazard lol still enjoying the humor though.
Author's Response: About Shatner, I spent about fifteen minutes checking to see if I'd given the boss a name, and I was honestly disappointed with myself I hadn't given him a name yet. So I picked the first name I could think of, and it popped into my head. Once it was there it refused to leave.Don't worry he's friendly as long as you don't mess up....For Chris' reactions, I think I already said this, I'm actually basing him off of myself. I'm 6.1 and weigh a little over 200 pounds, with a fair bit of muscle, if I found myself in the body of a tiny woman, I'd be very defensive and ready to hit first. Normally I am willing to think things through, and plan things out, but like a lot of men as you said, if I'm caught by surprise or very annoyed I'll react first and damn the consequences. Once I had over half my coworkers thinking I was gay because I guy really, really annoyed me and I found out he was a bit homophobic. Within five minutes of learning that I was being the biggest camp gay with a crush on him, because it was that or punch him. I did that for over a month and I think I actually made him come out of the closet. But yeah, I didn't think it through initially and just kept going because it was funny, unfortunately I then had cute girls asking if I was gay and couldn't get a date... As for the drunk, I remember reading articles about women complaining about drunk guys and it seemed like something Chris would have to deal with. I picked this chapter because I thought having Mary there would help keep things calm, but as I was writing it, I realized it would escalate VERY quickly. Fortunately dealing with the fallout will cover the next chapter and really affect Chris in an interesting way. I'm just kind of upset Chris didn't have stiletto's, those things will punch through a half inch thick piece of plywood if you hit it straight down.
Date: 08/02/14 11:17 am Title: Take the Good With the Bad
I really love your story! small question tho and Iunno who to ask ;A:
I fav'd and tracked your story, but I don't get emails when you post. Even though i checked Contact when favorites are updated.... Any ideas D: I dun wanna miss any chapters ;-;
Author's Response: Thanks for enjoying the story and letting me know. To find out about the problem you can go to the discussions page and ask, I think there is a thread for problems like that. You can also send me a message to email@example.com and I'll email you when I update it personally. Thanks again.
Date: 08/01/14 01:38 pm Title: Take the Good With the Bad
Well done,very good,I could picture that happening,I had see it happen!
Author's Response: Thanks, I wasn't too sure if I should have the fight, but I couldn't see a way for Chris to avoid it. He doesn't exactly know how to back down when challenged or threatened. Again thanks for reading and commenting its really appreciated.
Date: 07/20/14 07:06 pm Title: Getting Back in the Saddle
the story is going well
hope to see more chapters soon
Author's Response: Thanks. I will be posting 1 or 2 chapters a week, until August when I'll bump it up to four. Work this month has been a pain, and unlike my other stories, I can't seem to just put out a chapter while riding the bus or between classes on my iPad. I need to be at my computer to do it justice.
Date: 07/12/14 12:50 pm Title: Yay! Shopping!
Looks like you got your Mojo back this chapter was more like the first four. My only criticism and bear in mind this is only my own opinion. But I felt that it lacked a little in description we know it's in the future and that he was in hospital. For example how much of the care was hands on how much was by machine . You are after all inviting people into this universe/world you have created use a little description and let the readers imagination run wild with it. The only reason I suggest this is that I saw that you plan to sell it on Kindle which I think is a good idea. The story has a slow steady pace to it which is relevant to someone suffering such horrific injuries. This story like a couple others I have read on the site has really had me thinking about just how I would react if I suddenly ended up in a man's body. That is a good thing for writers to do to have their readers thinking. Thanks again for this chapter.
Author's Response: Thanks Cheryl, I was a lot happier with this chapter than the previous ones, so it seems like the short break did help. I'm really glad you like the slow pace, I was actually worried it was taking a bit too long, but I want to really get to know Chris and let the readers learn about him before I throw him to the sharks when he gets back to work. Quite honestly I had no idea what he would say when Mary told the sales lady he needed a completely new wardrobe until I wrote it. I shocked myself with that answer, which is why I love to write. And as I've been writing this I realize I'm basing a lot of Chris' reactions on what I would do personally. I don't have a sister and I'm not in high level business, but I am the sarcastic type who likes to deal with reality rather than dreaming. So I'm learning about myself and thinking in new ways which is what serious stories should make a person do. Like you its one reason I like TG stories. For the description, I agree completely. Once Chris gets out of the hospital I'm going to take a week or two off, go over the story with a fine tooth comb, add in more hospital and therapy scenes, as well as expanding on his worries about his job and basically make it into a nice third draft and add on about 10 or 15K words. That way Amazon won't complain about it. So please keep letting me know of anything that catches your eye, I really appreciate your insight. I don't know when the next chapter will be up, my work schedule is really really messed up this month, but it will be up next week at some point. Hopefully the girls night out will be entertaining. Many thanks, Kent
Date: 07/11/14 06:10 pm Title: Somethings Different
I like the build up so far, and I'm hoping he starts slipping his way down a little more in the clothing though. You do a great job with the mental portion and details, I'm dying for the story to go farther though!
Author's Response: You will not be disappointed, today heels, tomorrow crotchless panties! Many thanks.
Date: 07/11/14 11:07 am Title: So Much to Learn
I like this kind of story that person is forced to adjust slowly
you're good at writing and I hope you continue it until finish
Author's Response: I am going to finish it, a new chapter will be added in a few hours, and I plan on rewriting parts to sell it as a series on kindle so there is good incentive for me. Like you I like characters to have a chance to adjust unless the point of the story is to throw them into the fire immediately. Since this story is going for sci-fi realism, Chris gets the chance to adjust, which has its own problems. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Date: 07/01/14 05:13 pm Title: Somethings Different
Real good start I enjoyed it. Licking his/her nipple? I don't think I've ever tried that one lol I love the subtle humor. The first four chapters flowed well but I'm not sure if it's just me but the last two bounced all over. For me they didn't flow as well but that being said it did not detract from the story.
Author's Response: Thank you very much for the reviewCheryl. I definitely agree the last two chapters aren't as good as the first four, so I'll work a bit harder on the next one and try to get the flow going again. As for the nipples, I didn't know it could be done either, but I figured it would be something I would do, and a search proved it could work, but most women said it wasn't worth it. Apparently it feels like your sucking someone else's nipple. Once more thanks for reading and the review. Cheers
Date: 07/01/14 09:51 am Title: So Much to Learn
Excellent two chapters,well written,looking forward to the next one!
Author's Response: Thanks, I really wasn't sure about them, because this weekend was annoying with technical problems and life. So these were fairly rushed, and half written from memory. The next one will be up Wednesday night or Thursday. Thanks for reading.
Date: 06/29/14 01:00 am Title: Learning About Myself
I hope he starts to like being a girl
Author's Response: No spoilers, but I will say Chris is going react to this in at least what I believe is a realistic fashion. So there will be ups and downs, with some unexpected things thrown in. I have a general idea where I am going but if the story or character says go somewhere else I'll do it. So he may end up loving being a girl, hate it or go somewhere in the middle. Whatever fits the story, and I am writing this more as a stream of conscious, with only one scene actually planned out in advance, which could go in any of the three directions.
Date: 06/28/14 08:22 am Title: Somethings Different
I'm loving the story so far. Can't wait for more sexy parts :*
Author's Response: Well the next chapter involves clothes, so nothing sexual, but I'm aiming for sensual. Should be up Sunday night night or Monday morning, eastern time. Thanks for reading
Date: 06/27/14 09:53 am Title: Learning About Myself
Excellent chapter,well done,looking forward to the next chapter!!
Author's Response: I may have to take a break over the weekend, but the next chapter will be up by Monday at the latest. Thanks for the continued support Roadbandit.
Date: 06/27/14 01:31 am Title: Joys of Family
Excellent chapter,you are working the situation just fine,the story works well!
Author's Response: Thank you. I am really trying to show that Chris is strong and more importantly accepting reality, but not invulnerable or conversely just going with the flow. So hearing that it's working is very heartening. Thanks again.