Date: 06/28/15 09:00 pm Title: Chapter 1: Danny to Dawn
Why are there so many connoisseurs of TG fiction here? Are you superior experts of some shit? I just come here to get turned on, lol. Geez.
Great story, ignore the overcritical and somewhat zealous reviewers on here.
Date: 06/28/14 02:29 am Title: Chapter 1: Danny to Dawn
Well that's the way you stop being a N00B! Why do you think I did that? Just because I want to troll you or make you feel bad? No! Fuck no! I was just doing constructive criticism. No one ever starts as a master, I sucked balls on my first story. But through the reviews they gave me, and reading other stories, I learned how to write more properly and improved at pretty much everything. Not saying that I'm the best, I still have a lot to learn. That's why instead of just trying to prove excuses, learn from the people who criticise you, not because they want to make you feel bad or less, learn from the ones who want to help you out. And I'm sorry, but all of the points I gave are very fair, and have something to be sustained. I didn't just screamed at you with no apparent reason. Sorry if I offended you, I didn't intend to make you feel bad.
Author's Response: Now you are really criticizing me. I am trying to write a story. Writing a bad review means that you are literally concerning me and bribing me to not continue. I know you didn't want offense, and just don't give a bad review again. EVER.
Date: 06/24/14 03:03 am Title: Chapter 2: Michael to Misty
Okay, your story is not bad. I do love my pokemon fan-fic from time to time. I like how you are making the changes, even if they are a bit repetitive and lead towards the same thing. But your story ain't perfect. The transition between chapter one and two seems to be a bit incomplete. You never told us about how much time it has passed since Danny transformed, and when Michael and Maceroni where searching for him. It just seems to be there, but it isn't. We know time has passed, but how much? And do a child promise can still be counted as a fair explanation towards a problem? What if he said, I promise not to lie again, so Michael will always think that whatever Danny says is the truth?
And the jump thingy, I didn't understand it either. Is it just random word he said? Also dude, I see that you are beginning to write here. Not a problem with that, but the way you answer a review is not to review your own story. When you click on the link they sent you to check the review, you can immediately answer it. Or just go to your reviews and click on the red button that says "Answer." And last but not least, the TG theme seems to be extra. Yes they do are turning into a girl, but they are completely turning into them, mentally too. So you are basically just going to write about May, Misty, and Dawn, not about the kids who got turned into them. Maybe I'm judging too fast, but if the story keeps flowing that way, I'm afraid that it shouldn't belong in this site, since the TG Theme works rather as an extra, than as a main point in the story plot.
P.S. I'm also a HUGE fan of pokemon. If you ever want a battle, or trade just give me a shout! :P
Author's Response: C'mon, I'm new on this site. And plus, don't judge me too fast on everything. Just read carefully And you'll understand everything. Just please, don't criticize me when I'm a noob at this.