Date: 02/21/15 03:56 pm Title: Chapter 1
Well written but holy fucking shit how can a guy go downhill so fast? I think it's ridiculous that he's become such a slut. Not trying to be a whiteknight here, but isn't this quite a bit demeaning towards women? Brain turning off as soon as the slightest tinge of horniness shows or enjoying rape?
If this hadn't been written realistically in other aspects I would be a lot more understanding in these aspects, but the protagonist you created here is SERIOUSLY fucked up in the head, so the only way I can give 3* is because your writing style is excellent, good grammar, flawless spelling and in some aspects realistic story.
Author's Response: I don't use this site so much any more, but I thought that your review definitely required some form of response from me. For starters, it was never my intention to demean women, in fact, there are few female characters in the story, and they are absolutely meant to be in a supporting role. My story isn't about a woman, it's about a man in a woman's body. This isn't anything about how women think, it's about how a very specific character thinks. It's about a horny guy who can't control himself and the sprinkling of self awareness I gave him was perhaps not well placed. There is some good news however, I have been uploading new stories to my page on deviantart for almost two months, and the new stuff is far, far, far better. If you fancy checking it out, even just to see in which directions I've grown, that would be awesome. My stories Wish Upon a Falling Star, and Superman: Pink Kryptonite are the best known, and if you could drop me a message on here or on there letting me know what you think that would be awesome
Date: 09/28/14 11:48 pm Title: Chapter 1
I like the ending. I'll think about it and give you a critique tomorrow about what I thought worked and what didn't. So if you don't recieve it, tomorrow night send me a message.
Author's Response: Cool sounds good! I look forward to hearing what you think James
Date: 09/28/14 11:27 pm Title: Bonus
Wow, what a universe your characters are caught in. At least Danielle and Daniel knew why it was happening. This contains no answers. But again you know me from Back to the Future. I get into the technical details. The story succeeded in that I had to read it all the way in one sitting. That means something. It kept me riveted. As for his/her sexual "looseness" . . . let's just say I'm glad Johnny/Jenny got a handle on it in the end. And as for her in his body? That has to suck. That's the proverbial woman reincarnated in a man's body. I don't envy her; I probably am her as my stories are not so much fiction as they are thinly disguised disclosures. Any way, this was a good story. And I'll have to catch the sequel to see if the next part is about Tony as a girl or Jenny as Johnny or both. Whatever, it's time I got back to Back to the Future About that, I see you changed it from "FutHer". A fellow TG Storytime member and I were talking over the old title a few months ago and he had a problem with it. It sounded too much like a nod to Adolph Hitler. Heir Fuehrer. I get the intended pun, but I'm glad you changed it. When did that happen? I was too engrossed in my own story to notice. I guess it's time to catch with that one of yours now.
Author's Response: I posted a very long response to this but apparently it won't go up. I'll keep this brief and thank you for reading and reviewing. The change in title for Back to the Future happened this week, but I didn't see any n*** overtones and there was obviously nothing intended. The sequel is coming soon, I'm going to try and get at least a large percentage done, though I may post a chapter or two when I feel like it. The story is going to focus on Tony, though there will be cameos and supporting characters from the first story. I'm trying to keep it as a separate story that could exist on it's own though. I'll get some more Back to the Future up this week so look forward to that! Cheers James
Date: 09/28/14 10:00 pm Title: Chapter 19
Just starting chpt. 20. one question. Her long black hair? Is she a natural blond or a bottle blond? As long as it' gotten, if a natural blond does that mean she keeps dyeing it black?
Author's Response: She's a blonde, but dyes it now to feel like her body is her's. Like she's changing her appearance so she doesn't look as much like old Jenny and can be her own person
Date: 09/28/14 05:09 pm Title: Chapter 1
Well, that's only chapter One, but interesting. Sort of reminds me of the great switchoff moment in my own Angie's Revenge, when Daniel woke up inside Danielle's body and he discovered he was in alternate universe. Have only read chp. 1 of this so far. Anxious to see where this goes. And one of these days I'll have to get back to your Back to the Future story. The reminder emails keep telling me you've entered new stuff, but I've been so busy with A Contested Future, haven't had the time. You're into alternated universe too. Huh? This should be interesting. Sorry for the way I twisted your ear the last time about Back to the Future. It's not you or your story, it's fine. it's Bob Zemackis. He told a story that sabotages its own basic givings about timeline scenarios..
Author's Response: Hey Pablo! Thanks for the review! It means a lot you took a look. While I haven't read Angie's Revenge I'm starting to think it would be up my alley. Maybe we could even work on something together if you've got the time? Hit me up at my email and we could try an sort something out. Cheers James
Date: 09/26/14 12:25 am Title: Chapter 20
This was good, in almost every way.
Author's Response: Thanks a lot! Would you care to elaborate? I'm currently in the process of piecing together the first act of the sequel which I will be going into greater detail about once the last chapter is up by the end of the week. You've had such good insight, so anything you could contribute critically would be a massive help. Thanks James
Date: 09/20/14 06:29 am Title: Chapter 1
Very interesting story so far. I'm enjoying it a lot. The only thing that concerns me is the amount of sex in it. Sex isn't bad, but don't let it ruin the story. Don't focus so much on the sex. How could Jenny further be developed as a character? I think it would be really fun to see a real deep, intimate relationship develop between Jenny and Ben. But maybe Jenny does need to continue to pursue Ben. In what ways could their relationship advance that isn't sexual? Also, you've mentioned Jenny's small concern about getting pregnant. Could that be an option for the story, to explore a growing desire to become a parent, or a surprise pregnancy perhaps?
Date: 07/18/14 12:17 pm Title: Chapter 1
Excellent writing, although you have "biting my lap" during the sex scene.
Now despite the excellent writing this didn't do much for me. The sex part is needless angst as far as I'm concerned. It would have been nicer to see more character build up. Throw in a few more supporting characters, have the couple actually talk more, etc.
As I said your writing is great. Good descriptions and detail, but you should now expand your dialogue. Practice having long conversations, with just the bare minimum of detail. Stretch yourself because you have a lot of potential.
Author's Response: I'll change that thanks, I usually miss a couple of things haha. You should check out my other story Back to the FutHER, it's basically all dialogue. Thanks for the review, James
Date: 07/03/14 08:24 am Title: Chapter 1
Nice work. Not sure if she should go with the pervert, she could phone Ben instead. Still that's just my opinion, she seems to have a bit of a submissive streak, so Ben would be more satisfying, but the pervert makes sense to,
Glad my ideas are helping, I really like your story and it's improving with every chapter.
Date: 06/30/14 02:14 pm Title: Chapter 10
Hurray!! Jenny has a friend. About time, this chapter goes quite a ways to humanizing her.
Good work as usual.
Author's Response: When I wrote the chapter originally, I had a different view in mind for how it was going to turn out, and how Jenny and Ben knew each other, but your last comment made sense, so I've changed some stuff up. Really, thanks for the effort, James
Date: 06/26/14 05:02 pm Title: Chapter 9
Now that I'm up to date, this is really interesting. I love how he's making mistakes and actually learning from them.
My only concern is doesn't Jenny have any friends who are wondering where she has vanishhed?
Author's Response: Yeah, I understand where you're coming from. Obviously this is still a work in progress, and I still haven't tidied up a few plot points I left lying around from my first vision of the story. Thanks for the insight, it really helps. Please bear with the odd little mistake like that, because once it's finished I'm going to get the whole work properly edited. Thanks, James
Date: 06/19/14 04:14 pm Title: Chapter 1
Amazing. I love this story; you write so well! Send a thank you note to Casey Thompson, he gave you a shout-out on the main page, which is how I found this.
Again, very well done, I'm going to love this story!
Author's Response: I sent him a message the second I saw this. Thank you too, it means so much to hear someone praising my writing, especially on my first story, I'm definitely going to see the whole thing through. Thanks! James.
Date: 06/19/14 07:51 am Title: Chapter 6
Holy cow! I'm speechless. Excellent job. The discovery, the introspection, the details, the technical hurdles she has to come to terms with....please continue with this story. And don't feel pressured to rush through things. Keep taking your time and craft it well. Just lovely!
Author's Response: Now this is how reviews need to sound haha! Thank you for your kind words, I'm putting the next chapter up today. Thanks! James.