Date: 06/02/14 06:10 pm Title: Adrian-Part 1
Well the story is progressing very good, but I must insist that you should make it longer. I bet that writing on a phone is kind of hard, so I suggest that you should use a keyboard ASAP. You should also use a word check, you had some silly mistakes like: lived video games, you either meant liked or loved. And are you still doing the different countries thing? It would be amazing for character interaction, and character background. And it would give an amazing story development. I really have to make an emphasis on the story length, it would make it several times much better.
So keep it up! And longer.
Author's Response: Thanks! Yes, I'll try to do the various countries. No, I meant lived. I'll try for using a keyboard, but it's a bit awkward when I still live with my family
Date: 06/01/14 05:57 pm Title: Prologue
I feel somewhat honoured for your mentioning, and yes, I do quite enjoy this story. But, (I'm not trying to be an asshole, I promise) But I can't properly say I "enjoy" this story, since it hasn't begun yet. I'll wait for the next chapter and give it a proper rating. I'm not saying that it's bad, the possible change looks nice, and the way you wrote it, it's just perfect! This is an actual prologue, people need to get that. And I hope you write more than 1000 words per chapter. As for the countries, well the US, Canada, Guayana, and Belize. Are the only countries in america whose main language is english. But I suppose this story is set in the future, so could just say that english was stablished as the global main language etc. And what fucking coincidence! You put my real name in the story! I would recommend you Mexico, if you need any help with the research or how it is to live in the country, I would love to help.
In short, keep it up! And I'll rate next chapter.
Author's Response: Thanks! I really appreciate your feedback! I'm glad you like it, as I don't think you're an assholedir not "enjoying" it. It IS just a prologue.