Date: 05/30/14 10:30 am Title: Chapter 2
This story has a lot of promise! I like your writing style, and it seems like you've build an interesting world here.
I have to wonder if this will be a Utopian tale of women living peacefully among each other or if there will be great deal of conflict with the new regime. Of course there is also the looming reproductive issue, but hey, it's sci-fi - sorry! - SF, so I'm sure that can be worked out. They were collecting semen after all. :P
Waiting to see where you go next!
Author's Response: new chapter coming very soon
Date: 05/27/14 08:41 pm Title: Chapter 1
Nice story, liked it. Though that according to some petty biology problems and some ideas in the human mind, I fear that in real life the world would be reduced into anarchy, and you don't have to be some sexist guy to resist the order.
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it.
Date: 05/27/14 03:21 pm Title: Chapter 2
Very interesting plot! I like the way you casually drop things into the narrative to gradually indicate that this is the future, instead of hitting us with it all at once. And as for all males being compulsorily feminised - some of us would go to that centre voluntarily! I shall enjoy finding out what the reasons for this are. Is it just the standard 'evil feminists' that we find in so many stories, or something rather different?
However I do have some difficulty with the language used, and in believing that Bailey is only 7. Sometimes (not always) s/he seems much older, maybe about 12/13. E.g. in the first chapter, words like 'castrated', 'devastated', 'role model' I don't think a 7 year old would use.
But I am interested in what is going to happen next - and particularly how Bailey can help her (former) brother, now sister, and others like her who have been 'forcibly' feminised and are frightened or unhappy about it. This has the makings of a very good story!
Author's Response: Yeah those word like castrated, devistated and role model are words my 7 year old niece knows really well. Just remember this is the future. They are smarter in the future. By the way its not going to be evil feminists. You will have to wait and see. It will be explained in the next few chapters.
Date: 05/25/14 09:25 pm Title: Chapter 1
I haven't actually read the story so I could be wrong, but shouldn't the description read "women" instead of "woman"?
I'll rate this story after I've read it.
Author's Response: sorry I get those words messed up a lot. i hate it when spell check and proof reader don't fix out