Date: 05/09/14 07:30 pm Title: Dropped Off
Really... You're going to excuse yourself like that... Don't be a fucking pussy and bare your own errors. You know what a review is for? To help writers with recommendations, or simple congratulations. What I did on my first review? I pointed out your errors and tried to give you a solution. What you did? Completely ignored it and others person's review. Grow up fucking amateur.
Date: 05/09/14 05:52 pm Title: Oh, Josh, You Sexy Boy You
No, just no. What are you doing? I see that you like to write, but at least pay attention to the people who are trying to help you! The characters, GOD! Do you know what is a personality? Why is he doing what he's doing?! Even the same character asks himself that question! The first chapter, he is a normal dude who is forced to cross dress. Now he's having anal sex! With a complete airhead who can't see a fucking boner! Be consistent! And try to write better and or pa attention with what you has written!
Author's Response: If you don't like it, don't read it.
Date: 05/08/14 03:24 am Title: Dropped Off
Wait, wait, wait, WHAT? Dude... WTF? Seriously, what!? Your story... at least is written with passion. Look buddy, I know that this is your first story, I also had tons of errors in my first one, but dude... First of all the length, almost 200 hundred words. That's way to short for even a prologue. You need to at least pass the 1000 word count. Now the story, at least you gave us the age and names of three characters. But what you're lacking is tons of background. Why are they going there? Why does the granny thinks he's a girl? Why his mother wants to make his son pass a girl?
Not only that, be more descriptive with the characters too. Say how they look, their personalities, their reasons to do stuff. And write, just write. Write a plot, write a body, write whatever you want! Just that it makes sense! There's one thing I don' t get. He doesn't like to be confused as a girl... WELL JESSH! I wonder how you can change that? Next time don't complain when you get stunned by a bee, after you use its hive as a fucking piņata.
I'll give a proper rating next chapter. Hoping there's actually some story to rate.