Date: 12/16/14 03:38 am Title: Chapter 1
I liked it, I hope you continue.
However, try to work on your dialogue and structure. It was a bit confusing to keep track of who was saying what.
Author's Response: Thank you for your review; I'm glad you liked the story. However I'm a bit puzzled over your comment that it was confusing keeping track of who was speaking. I thought that at least was clear - no one else has made that comment - but I'll go back and check.
Date: 04/27/14 05:39 pm Title: Chapter 1
Comments: Very perverted, and oddly fun through the viewpoint of the narrator. I guess other people had some problems with the treatment of the sissies, but I found the world you wrote about was an interesting thought experiment. I also liked how the target never really resisted her new role. In a it's not like they made her one (she was already one), they just taught her about her gender role. It's weird to have a story that is simultaneously very dark but also kind of light hearted, that juxtaposition I think is why I liked it.
Author's Response: Thank you for your review. You got out of it what I think I hoped people would get, although I'm coming to realise that this story's a bit darker underneath than I originally thought. Glad you liked it, and that you found it perverted :)
Date: 04/27/14 01:09 pm Title: Chapter 1
So what you're implying in your response to GollyWally is that any male --who through no fault of his own-- has spent his whole childhood and subsequent adulthood feeling like he's a female in a male's body should be punished for it, by being treated as something less than either gender? You have --not so much in the story (which I kind of found amusing) but in your subsequent comments-- implied that any male born with an inclination toward femininity is a freak and should be treated as something less than a human being. Humiliated, chastised (literally, if I'm using the word correctly), reduced to a concubine, a female servant. And these "sissies" don't even eventually get the benefit of becoming transgendered "females" but instead have their male organ permanently caged as a punishment for not being the males they were supposed to be. It makes me wonder if you find any male, who is attracted to TG sites like this one, to be damaged individuals. Your story sort of reinforces the human race's age-old instinctive intolerance for any deviant behavior. I'm not sure this story helps the cause (of the species changing into a more tolerate one) any at all. If sort of reminds me of the autocratic society depicted in Francois Truffaut's "Fahrenheit 451."
Author's Response: I think you might be reading too much into what I said. "So what you're implying in your response...." No I'm not. That's what's implied in the story. You'll note that it's the state that is enforcing all this in the story; probably the legislators think the way you've outlined in your review. In "real life" I certainly don't. "....any male born with an inclination toward femininity is a freak..." No, in "real life" I think that should be celebrated.. "Your story sort of reinforces....instinctive intolerance.." Gosh, is it that powerful? "I'm not sure this story helps the cause..." It's not intended to. It's not a manifesto, and it's failed as a story if you got the impression that it is. And to compare the story to Fahrenheit 451? Wow, that's really flattering. Thank you, but I don't think I deserve it..