Date: 04/21/18 03:16 pm Title: Chapter 15
I know you said you didn't have much medical expertise, but I thought I'd point out something that is a bit inaccurate. When you have a ventilator through a tracheal tube, you are unable to talk because the air is flowing beneath your vocal folds rather than above them.
Nick seemed to be talking quite a bit, so, I might consider fixing that to say that he no longer had the ventilator, but that his throat felt raw from the pulling of the tube.
Date: 02/26/17 04:02 am Title: Chapter 1
As for why this person should not be allowed into school, Kyle's body is clearly not in a stable condition and a human body would in real life succumb to the rapidness of this transformation.
Considering that he was that far ahead in every subject and would be finished within a week it seems that the medical professionals took an unnecessary risk by not having him stay in the hospital until his transformation was complete.
This story is tagged as sci-fi, with the fictional part being the genetic mumbo jumbo that in some way manages to turn a male that has already undergone male puberty into a female with a different eye and hair colour as well as reduce her height by a foot and body mass by a whole lot.
A human body would in real life die from this, either because of the amount of hydrogen ions produced in the metabolism of fat, carbohydrates and protein or from hypercalcemia from the massive resorption of bone.
The bathroom issue could have been dealt with much better. A single line thrown in by Kyle's mother saying that she had informed the school administration regarding her condition and that they had checked with the hospital to make sure everything was in order would have been enough.
As it is now a mysterious girl that nobody has seen before is wallking around in school and attending classes that she hasn't signed up to. There is no need to make a big deal about this.
It is a very interesting story that you have written but it does feel like a less detailed rewrite of For a Girl at times.
Date: 02/25/17 07:23 pm Title: Chapter 9
Firstly to the haters and Trump supporters - it's only a f-ing story, us writers can bend reality if we want to! Not everything has to be super realistic real-life! So what if the author doesn't want to spend a whole chapter debating the ethics of which changing room to use etc. And why wouldn't he/she be allowed in school? The story states early on that in that reality this medical condition is not unheard of. It's not contagious etc
Personally I think you have done a good job in turning a common theme into a unique story of your own and I like the closeness of Nick and Kyle/Lex. I like the fact that Lex has remained strong willed, but not too over the top. It makes sense that she would become comfortable in her new body if her very DNA was meant to be female from conception.
I will be excited to read more chapters, don't let the idiots put you off lol :)
Date: 02/25/17 04:43 pm Title: Chapter 1
Oh my God, people, this is a fiction site. Maybe everything was taken care of at and by the hospital and the parents took care of school while Alexa was in the hospital! Stop being like this is a biography.
I have liked this story from the first time I read it and am hoping you continue it.
Date: 02/24/17 08:11 pm Title: Chapter 1
To the previous poster:
The new female has had NO CONTACT with the school administration regarding her having turned female. She needs permission from the school to go into the girls' lockerroom.
It has nothing to do whether I support trans* children being allowed into their correct rooms or not. It has to do with how the author dealt with this issue by ignoring to add some crucial parts to the story.
As far as the school sees it Alexa is still male on all their records and has not asked to be allowed into the correct room.
Children that are transgendered or NGC still need permission before going into a lockerroom that is traditionally not made for their sex.
Try to read what I wrote before taking things out of thin air next time.
Author's Response: I chose not to include the whole administrative mumbo jumbo because I felt that the process would have been boring to both write about and read about. Clearly, I made a mistake in not even glossing over the fact that there was contact with the school. I wasn't aware that there would be such an issue about it, so I will make a mental note about this and work on resolving the issue in the next chapter.
Date: 02/24/17 10:03 am Title: Chapter 9
This story is no longer believable. There has been absolutely no contact between Alexa and the school administration regarding her change of sex. As far as the world considers Alexa is still male and really has no bussiness in the girls' lockeroom. She has no excuse from the board that allows her to be in there. I think that it is kind of harsh on the school primadonna because she is correct in this matter.
Date: 02/24/17 05:33 am Title: Chapter 7
A bit strange that half of the people in Alexa's group of friends admit attraction to her within five minutes of seeing her. The discussion seemed a bit strange since not much was mentioned. I am kind of surprised that she is up and running right away after her body went through such a major change.
Date: 02/24/17 05:15 am Title: Chapter 4
One thing that I have noticed is that Nick appears to be the main character but is described from Kyle's point of view. When you give a character this much space in the first part of the story it will seem strange if his amount of appearances lessen later on in the story.
Date: 02/24/17 04:35 am Title: Chapter 3
The character development is really good in Nick. Paul seems to be a bit too stereotypical to be believable. I sould have prefered seeing a bit more despair and fear in Kyle because right now he seems to be treating this mlre like he has the flu than his life changing forever.
Date: 02/24/17 04:29 am Title: Chapter 2
Ok. The medical part of this was a bunch of mumbo jumbo. Genetics do not work that way and a fetus develops into a male or female depending on the presence of the SRY-gene on the Y-chromosome. With this development the female gonadic development stops and it is irreversible.
I also get the feeling that this story was inspired by "For a Girl".
Date: 02/24/17 02:20 am Title: Chapter 1
Holy shit man!!! I've been waiting years for you to finish this!! Please continue writing this!
Author's Response: I'm so sorry it's taken me so long. Reality intruded on what I was doing and eventually I forgot all about this. I'm going to do the best I can to keep working on it as fast as possible.
Date: 03/06/16 11:37 pm Title: Chapter 8
A great story line, but what lies ahead is the real challenge.
She has a group of guys who are her true friends. But what about the girls? Some will accept her, but some will not. And there will be those girls who will loathe and try to hurt her.
Date: 08/28/14 09:33 pm Title: Chapter 2
Do two Y-chromosomes make one X-chromosome? From what I envision, the Y looks like an arrow. If this arrow was pointing to the right, and the gene, whatever it's called, making it grow rapidly, which causes two little points to sprout from that stem, it would have its two points sticking out in the opposite direction, thereby making an X-shape chromosome. So, is this true?
I say this because I am studying to become a genetic engineer, and I take interests in these kinds of creative phenomena. Maybe there aren't any mutations that affect the growth of the wolfian and the diminishing of the mallerium, but maybe there are viruses that can change the mitosis of all the cells in the entire human body in fully-grown adults.