Date: 03/07/14 03:49 am Title: Chapter 7
What an interesting chapter, but i got a bit lost... last chapter it seemed she was being taken against her will and now it seems she has a purpose here...
Author's Response: All will be explained. I even got lost writing this XD I wanted the chapter to be a bit hard to understand, due to it being in a mental institue (META'INGGG), but I promise things'll make more sense
Date: 03/06/14 10:51 pm Title: Chapter 1
Just a guess, but have you watched 12 Monkeys?
Author's Response: One of my favorites ^_^ I couldn't resist using Jeffrey, he personafies everything I love about mental hospitals. I even pulled a couple of his rants, just on the basis of how awesome they are. He's going to become more of my own later, but for now he's just a cameo
Date: 03/06/14 11:29 am Title: Chapter 6
Yes... yessss. I see you've embraced the dark side. Come. Come. We have cookies. They are precariously balanced upon cliffs.
Seriously though, I love where you are taking this. I really need to know what's up with that doctor. God, now I know how my readers must have felt. Perhaps... perhaps I was wrong to use so many cliffhangers. Perhaps... *stares at the horizon* Perhaps I shall mend my ways.
Nope! :3 Write faster, minion!
Author's Response: Not a minion, but a colleague.... ^_^ I'll trade you a healing element for it?
Date: 03/05/14 04:11 am Title: Chapter 1
Delta is in a pickle. Thrax is an ass but we knew that already. On the other hand Tech-plosion is a even bigger one. Good guy or bad guy, white or black with no grays. Well, in this case he was right, but still. Delta is a bad, bad girl and I'm thinking that Amethyst's temper tantrum may have effectively reset HIS base template to female.
Of course I could be wrong. :)
Author's Response: Of course, you could be right. Who knows? Certainly not I.
Date: 03/05/14 03:55 am Title: Chapter 5
Oh, this one was very nice.
Let's see how Delta accepts the things that will happen to her...
ad Tech-splosion seems to be a jackass... just like Tex-splosion xD
Author's Response: Something about splosions makes people a little cranky, I guess XD
Date: 03/05/14 03:19 am Title: Chapter 1
The tanget about the cleavage made me laugh. I'd actually considered a line like that for the epilogue from PsyKick's perspective - "she must be evil, no heroines leave that little to the imagination" :3 But didn't fit the tone i was going for haha.
I'm ~very~ curious to see where this goes. Genuine reformation born out of an act? WE SHALL SEEEEE
Author's Response: INDEED WE SHALLLL
Date: 03/02/14 09:07 pm Title: Chapter 3
You're trying really desperately to make us like your characters...And I might be inclined to do so...If they hadn't been the part of a brutal robbery and the killing of multiple people at the start of the story. If you had just had them tie them up, knock them out, etc. I'd be more inclined to like these folks. Instead I found the start far too dark and the follow up chapters with nicer, more fun elements of these characters to be off the mark thanks to the murderous rampage in the first chapter.
Author's Response: It's kinda like a love/hate type of thing. I'm trying to explain why they do the things they do, and to garner sympathy for otherwise horrific and terrible people. Yes, they're villains, so they need to do morally questionable (or downright terrible) things, but they are also the subjects of the story, so they need to be somewhat likeable. Think of the Walter White type of character, morally questionable but likeable all the same. The story isn't over, there is still plenty of darkness to come if fun and nice isn't really your thing XD
Date: 03/02/14 02:40 pm Title: Chapter 1
I laughed at that board meeting. Oh, you! ;)
It's funny we should both start stories about shapeshifters at the same time; thankfully the exposition I've written so far on their mental state contradicts nothing you said here! Which is good, because it's plotpoint-y xD
Anyhow, the story is shaping up nicely! Several leads here hinting at what might befall our soon to be genderbended, achem, hero. Will be curious to see which one you choose.
One thing I noticed and which you need to watch out more for are tenses. You sometimes randomly switch to present tense!
Other than that, great work, keep it up
Author's Response: You have discovered my Achilles' heel XD tenses have always been my problem, I'm trying to get better I promise I have some ideas about the internal workings of shapeshifters that necessitates natural states, I'd like to run them by you to see if you like the idea. It is your universe after all ^_^ I guess Shade isn't as adept as he thought at making sure his board of directors doesn't sink to low moral standards XD
Date: 03/02/14 01:13 pm Title: Chapter 1
Every Paragon story? Have you not been reading mine? (Though, to be fair, we still don't see much of the villain side of things until Chapter 9, unless you count Mary and her servant mages.)
Anyhow, this is a promising story. So I guess we'll see where it goes. =)
Author's Response: Well, Mary's like a hero stuck inside a villain (or a villain stuck inside a hero), so I wasn't sure if she counted or not XD Thanks ^_^
Date: 03/02/14 02:34 am Title: Chapter 1
This is a nice entry
Interesting group of villains, nice sense of fashion too.
I would suggest editing it a bit to make sure there is a space between paragraphs, the rest however is leading to an interesting place
Author's Response: In Word, every paragraph is indented and spaced appropriately (I'm kinda OCD about stuff like that). It's only when I upload it that it doesn't register the spacing, aligning everything to the left and leaving no real indication of a new paragraph. I've tried editing it in the story update interface, but it still does not register them. I'll try uploading the file itself instead of inputting text manually, hopefully then it will register the spacing. And thanks for the review ^_^
Date: 03/02/14 01:12 am Title: Chapter 1
Yay, villain stories! I love villain stories :)
I'll keep an eye on this story, can't wait to see what you come up with for this villain's development!
Since he's a shape shifting villain, I suspect he'll somehow get stuck in a female form from another meta's powers.
Ooh, maybe it will be the rise of Event Horizon that gets Delta stuck! That would be interesting.
Oh, but if that ends up happening I'm sure he'll keep some of his power, like maybe only transforming his arms instead of his whole body.
Author's Response: Who knows? Certainly not I! I have no idea what's going to happen *looks around suspiciously*
Date: 03/02/14 12:56 am Title: Chapter 1
I ACCEPT! /glee
Sent you an Email to make sure the universe stays internally consistent and to better coordinate cameos!
A very intriguing start, I'm looking forward to seeing where you take this! :)
Author's Response: Thanks! I'm all for consistency ^_^