Date: 02/23/14 06:52 am Title: February 14th, 2014
Aw. I'm sad to see this story end prematurely, though I totally get how no reviews can be demotivating (The Itch got very few reviews; most are just from the same person)
I like the reveal that Ikari was being changed as well; it certainly explained why she was brushing off the changes so nonchalantly. The ending does feel too abrupt, tbh, but overall, I still really liked this story!
Author's Response: No, it wasn't just the reviews I was tracking, but also the reads:words ratio. It was 1:1 for most of the story, but then it dipped dramatically in the last couple of chapters. I thought I had scared away some of my audience. It isn't the end of the world. It allows me some freedom in my personal life (the nature of my story being "live" meant I *had* to update daily), and I can always come back with a new concept, a new story, the next time around. I learned so much, this being my first story. I'm sure you leveraged what you learned from your earlier stories to make Of Heroes And Villains what it is today. Good luck!
Date: 02/19/14 02:07 pm Title: February 19th, 2014
That was seriously hot! I'm loving this story :3
A small tiny complaint was the sudden perspective shift in the middle of the story where, for only one paragraph, things seemed to be from Hera's perspective when the story has so far been almost exclusively Ikari's. I love perspective shifts to pieces, but they need to be well telegraphed, or they end up confusing.
Unless it wasn't a perspective shift?
"Hera's body was on fire, and her muscles were shifting and bulging and hungry, her hands travelling up and down Ikari's back with growing friction. They spent more time than anywhere else contouring and squeezing Ikari's rounded posterior, which was soft and curvy and cute! Hera's crotch, lower down, was the hottest part of her body, and was grinding against Ikari's thigh, the increasing slickness encouraging even greater enthusiasm."
The thought that Ikari's butt is 'soft, curvy and cute' seems to belong to Hera, as does the observation that she is hot all over, UNLESS you meant that Ikari can feel that Hera's skin is so hot like she's running a fever. Then that needs to be made more clear :)
Author's Response: Aww, looks like I couldn't get away with that. It was a last second addition to setup for something in the future, but it was sloppy, you're right. It is probably best if I remove it. Thanks for the feedback!
Date: 02/18/14 05:37 pm Title: February 18th, 2014
"Wow, Ikari observed, impressed. She wasn't sure why, but now even Ikari's appetite was turning her on."
Methinks you confused a name there :)
Still reading, still loving it! Not much else to say; I'm eager for the changes to become really noticable =D And to see Ikari's reaction.
Author's Response: Oh thanks! When drafting I kept confusing the names, so it wouldn't surprise me if I continue to make that mistake from time to time. Nice catch!
Date: 02/16/14 02:31 pm Title: February 16th, 2014
Oha! First hints of the transformation. I'm curious to see what triggered it and how many people will be aware of it.
Your character voices remain painfully spot-on; I really could see a couple like this existing in the real world. Keep up the great work!
Author's Response: Thanks. I hope you continue to enjoy my future chapters. I'm really proud of them.
Date: 02/15/14 04:47 pm Title: February 14th, 2014
You see that thing over there? That gigantic growing thing that no manmade structure can hold any longer?
That's my ego, now that you've flattered me thus.
You've created a monster. I hope you're proud of yourself.
More seriously, I am really happy that you're feeling compelled to take up writing again because you're really good at it. Like, crazy good.
The dialogue rang painfully true, and you've definitely got me hooked. Combine with a rare FtM transformation and I will be watching this one closely!
Author's Response: Thanks. It's kinda cool that I'll be reading the story of someone who will be reading mine. :)
Date: 02/15/14 01:22 pm Title: February 14th, 2014
The conversation was really interesting. I can see why Ikari is so hurt. ftM are not really my cup of tea, however by the half point of this first chapter, I got hooked. I want to know what will happen to them.
This has a lot of potential and seems to be headed into the very heavy emotional spectrum, something I rather enjoy on TG stories.
Giving you 5 for now, cause I see a lot of potential, and the dialogue felt real. (maybe too real at some point...)
Author's Response: Yay, my first review! The five stars means a lot, especially this early in the game. Going in, I was expecting low ratings until I start getting to the "good bits". FTM is a new interest of mine. I have been mainly MTF for years. But I think you can expect that I will approach this story in a way that fans of MTF are sure to find enticing. Thanks again. I hope you'll find coming chapters to get you even more hooked.