Date: 01/29/14 06:54 am Title: Memories
Could be an interesting concept problem is it's been done so many times so you have to be very original. It seems to me you're too interested into getting to the so called 'good stuff' too fast. Try and flesh out your characters more, as readers we want to know who Frank is/was how good a student was Frank? Did he live with both parents or just his Mom? Who are the Aliens? We know they were a spying on Earth but why? Why did they let Frank live if they were planning an invasion?
We are the readers intrigue us make us want to know more about what's going on. I have a feeling I'm going to enjoy this story
Date: 01/26/14 11:10 am Title: Aliens
I think the beginnings to short. Explain more about frank. Let him be in more scenes. Put a twist in there. Make sure that the reader is interested in it. Put stuff like maybe once in a while she gets memories about frank. About being frank. His life and bits and pieces. Something like that. Other than that its ok.