Date: 05/16/14 04:05 am Title: Chapter 1: The Strange Machine
This was such a fun little story. You write little kids really well. I lovedd all the little relationships throughout. I especially loved Bloom's story. I can't wait to read her story independent of Jamie. It's sad that Bloom left, but I am looking forward to reading her own story, as opposed to the events of Jamie's story told from her point of view. I suggest that you upgrade this to adult. With the #*$&% to substitute for language, you can still pass it of as kid friendly. But when two little girls get raped, that is an adult story. Still so much fun. I can't wait to collaborate on future chapters of Princess in the Mirror. @^-^@ 5 out of 5.
Author's Response: I have thought of changing both to adult. It would make more sence. Bedides Bloom's story will have language in it some more.
Date: 05/15/14 10:12 am Title: Chapter 21 The Way Things Come Together
Extremely touching and extremely sad to see bloom leave..
Also in a way worried they lost a parts of themselves.
Can't wait to see what happens next
Author's Response: That was the last chapter. But you can still read Bloom's Story. You can hear her adventures as well.
Date: 05/14/14 11:06 pm Title: Chapter 21 The Way Things Come Together
yup i think so. Still kinda sad about Bloom but hopefully the new friend will help out. great chapter
Author's Response: That was the last chapter of Jamie's Story. I hoped you like it, as much as I liked writing it.
Date: 05/13/14 06:33 pm Title: Chapter 1: The Strange Machine
I really like the plot Natasa and I'm so impressed with your Spanish. Language is simple and direct and engages the reader. so overall and good read. Keep up the great work sister :-)
Author's Response: Yeah I love to write. I have been trying to transition in Spanish is most of my stories. My native language is English, but I am interested in Spanish and French. So eventually you will see French in my stories as well. Thanks for the good review. Hope I see more from you. :D
Date: 05/12/14 07:30 pm Title: Chapter 18 A new perspective
My my intriguing and quite the plot twist.. always been fascinated by nano bots (thank you sci fi)
Wonder what are they planning and could i get a shot from those nano bots *giggles*
Author's Response: I hear in the next few years, Nanobots will be the next gender changing thing. Along side Stem Cell Research.
Date: 05/10/14 04:14 pm Title: Chapter 16 Home Sick
Wow good oh us government, just glad the kids are alright. Awesome chapter
Author's Response: I hope to put a new chapter out each day for a while. I have so much on my mind on what is going to happen to Jamie and Bloom. I'm glad you are enjoying it.
Date: 03/26/14 09:29 am Title: Chapter 13: Age Doesn't Matter
Have to say I did enjoy the chapter. But it did come close to crossing a fine line. But like I said will enjoyed it.
Author's Response: There's a difference between being tricked into and being forced inot and a lot of people get that confused. You can't force someone to do something against their own will, but you can at least trick them, which is better in my opinion.
Date: 03/24/14 05:19 am Title: Chapter 13: Age Doesn't Matter
A great story as always. It's very unique as it's more about being a preteen girl asopposed to a teenager or full grown woman, so it's from a different perspective than most of these stories, and that perspective seems to be spot on. I am curious as to whether or not Jamie and Bloom actually are lesbians though. It's fine if they are, but both of them have also been attracted to boys. Bloom was Jamie's boyfriend before she changed into a girl, and Bloom dreamed of finding a boyfriend on the beach.
This new development of planning to hypnotize the protestors has me curious. Did they find something else around that machine or do they think the machine will do it. Either way I hope it fails. Not because I am against the plan, but because we change people's minds by being who we are and showing that it's not a bad thing. Not by mind controlling people to believe what we want them to. But regardless these are fun stories and I can't wait for the next chapters. 5 out of 5.
Author's Response: hi Winter. its nice to see you gave me a review. yeah you have a lot of questions that I'm glad to answer in the next chapters. Hope you continue enjoying this story.check out Bloom's story as well. NATASA JESSICA =^·^=
Date: 03/23/14 09:17 pm Title: Chapter 13: Age Doesn't Matter
the brainwashing is wrong and sick. no love for haters from me but makeing people think like you do is just as bad as the haters way of thinking
Author's Response: It wasn't my idea. But I will pass it on to Ulysses. NATASA JESSICA =^.^=
Date: 03/15/14 10:58 am Title: Chapter 11: Jamie's Birthday
I for one am really enjoying this story a lot. Hope they find the machine so bloom can change
Author's Response: We'll have to seethat but we're getting close to the end of the story already, so just hang tight.
Date: 03/15/14 04:35 am Title: Chapter 11: Jamie's Birthday
I like it so far, and good job to Ulysses on the editing. You two make a pretty good team.
Author's Response: I'm glad I choose Ulysses as well. My story is really looking better every day. NATASA JESSICA =^.^=
Date: 02/18/14 03:12 pm Title: Chapter 1: The Strange Machine
Grammar needs work and the flow of the story is a little bumpy, but otherwise it's okay. Try to be a little more descriptive, but otherwise it's okay. I'll keep reading!
Author's Response: This is my very first story without help from friends. I am trying my best. I am bad with grammar, but I will try to fix them. The other story I have on here was written with a friends help. Now its my chance to try to write a story. Thanks for the input though :) NATASA JESSICA =^.^=
Date: 02/18/14 12:48 pm Title: Chapter 1: The Strange Machine
Hehehe, this is the same comment that came to my mind when I read chapter 6:
Date: 02/05/14 10:28 pm Title: Chapter 6 Bored
I have been following this story and another one called, "Call you mommy, are you serious honey." So I was kind of surprised when you connected with the other story by a different author. keep up the good work
Date: 01/26/14 03:41 am Title: Chapter 4: Louis and his Gang
I think finding her was a bit rushed. i was left thinking, how exactly did they get there? and how did they trip over the envelope.
I do like the cut between the two different places, get a feel what is going on.
Author's Response: Yeah I know I kinda rushed it. The story isn't about her kidnap. I have better things to mention. I really wasn't interested in the Kidnapped part of the story. I am glad you thought of it. But I hope you will enjoy the rest of the story when I write it.
Date: 01/25/14 01:48 am Title: Chapter 1: The Strange Machine
I loved this story, it was amazing how every time something good happened something bad followed, I liked it so much I dreamt about it, and I couldn't, and still can't, stop thinking about it I can't wait until sequel.
Author's Response: Just wait more to come. I'm writing next chapters.
Date: 01/22/14 04:27 am Title: Chapter 2: More Changes
You have an awesome story coming up, but you need to check on some things. First of all (By the way, these are only suggestions, please don't get a wrong idea.) you need to write more per chapter, try to at least pass the 2000 word count. You also need to check on your grammar, not that yours is horrible, you had like the you're and your error. Try to explain more of what is going on, you might picture it, but we readers can't. What I mean is that you have to explain the surroundings, characters, actions, descriptions, etc. Try to write other stuff than only dialogue, because almost every single sentence in this chapter started as one. And last but not least, try to give your characters a personality, not only make them talk like robots, explain what are they thinking, what and why they do what they do.
But apart from that, you have a pretty awesome story coming, keep it up.
Author's Response: I'm still new at stories, If you want to help with the mistakes I need, I would be very happy. =^.^=